Embarrassment Of Using The Restroom When With Men

[Fanny]

Sometime during middle school (probably around the time I started to see males romantically), I developed a terrible embarrassment about needing to use the restroom when I was around males. I know that everyone is aware that women have to use the restroom just as well as men do, but there seems to be something extremely unladylike and unattractive about it due to the, for a lack of better words, gross nature of it, in my opinion. Every time I am around men, I avoid the restroom, and if it's urgent, I usually think of an excuse to end our time together so I can slink away to the restroom without actually admitting it. This has made for some rather awkward moments during my romantic relationships. What are you ladies' opinion on this subject? How do you deal with this situation?

 

[TimeWarpWife]

I've been married for 36 years, but when I was single I'd excuse myself by saying I'm going to visit the little girls/powder/ladies room. But, if you're that uncomfortable saying where you're going, simply excuse yourself and say you'll be back in a minute without stating your exact destination. Honestly, when anyone excuses themselves to go to the restroom I don't think most people even give a second thought to it. Meaning, they aren't sitting there thinking about what you'll be doing. Don't beat yourself up over it, I have a cousin who won't eat in front of a man she's romantically interested in. That makes for some awkward moments on restaurant dates when the man is the only one eating or paying for her meal which doesn't get eaten.

 

[RedDoll46]

I'm a little hesitant about using the toilet while in full view, i.e. the WC at home. However, I simply excuse myself and go to the toilet without ever mentioning about where I'm headed. Most people (mental adults anyway) understand you are taking care of a biological function.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My mother always says "I'm gonna go see Mrs. Jones," which was code in the days of her youth for "I'm going to the can."

Besides, the consequences of holding it too long can be even more embarassing than actually going.

 

[Paisley]

The only bathroom in my last house was right off the dining room. It wasn't quite as bad as the bathroom in the Poo-Pourri ad, but close.

 

[St. Louis]

I think this anxiety is fairly common, and of course few people like to talk about it. I know from personal experience & from conversations I've had with friends that the whole subject is fraught for some ladies. I agree with Lizzie that waiting too long can be bad for your health, so it would be helpful to find a solution that doesn't leave you stressed. I went through something like this for years until I decided to deal with it in smaller steps.

For one thing, I found it helpful (at first) to limit my outings to places where I knew the ladies' room would be pleasant, clean, and private. (i.e., not out in the middle someplace.)

Second, when excusing myself I'd mention that I wanted to wash my hands. Third, I asked one or two close friends how they felt about the whole thing, which is how I learned that it's a more widespread issue than I had realized.

All this only took a few weeks, by the way. My anxieties about this issue disappeared & this doesn't bother me anymore. I think it helped to talk about it & deal with this (and other fears & anxieties) in smaller ways, gradually building up confidence.