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Embarrassing Moments in Dance

GHT

I'll Lock Up
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Although this story is dance related it would be better in the "How Embarrassing," thread, but that's in the Powder Room, which is, ladies only.

The Lambada was a Latin dance the was of a deliberately provocative nature. Provocative in that it could be construed as sexual movements. The accompanying song proved very popular.

Tina and I learned the dance after seeing it demonstrated during a dance festival. It is very fast, much quicker than say, jiving. It's the speed of the dance that requires a close couple hold to prevent trampling each other's feet. It took us a good three months to master it properly. That was about the end of 1989 into 1990.

In the summer of 1991 we went along to an afternoon tea dance that was an inter-denominational church charity fund raising affair. There was a small version of a big band playing, about 15 musicians and during the break a DJ was playing popular dance tunes. It was during one of the breaks that a lady went up to the DJ and said that although she couldn't dance Lambada, she did so love the music. The DJ did the honours and put it on the turntable.

It only took the first few strains of the music for my missus to say: "Come on," grabbing my hand. "You can't," I pleaded, "this is a church function." "Oh don't be so stuffy," she replied, "come on." You can't dance Lambada half-heartedly, it's all, ahem, pelvic thrusts and insinuated movement. I tell you everyone in the ballroom had their eyes on us. No point being shy, we gave them both barrels. At the end, as we were walking off the floor, this fellow wearing a dog collar came up and said: "Do I know you?" "We are not famous Father," I replied, "After what I have just seen," He said, "infamous might be a better description."

Oh dear!

Don't say you were not warned. (Don't panic, it's not us.)
 

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