Elderly Parents and Bad Illness

[Tony in Tarzana]

Agreed! Max to the rescue!

Continued prayers for your Mom.

 

[Classydame]

John,

What the others said! Max will be a great benefit to your Mom. And definately keep us posted.

You are in our prayers!

Shellie

 

[John in Covina]

mom 11/7/07

Seems mom is swinging back and forth between good days and not as good. Today her eyes were clearer and she seemed a little more in the here and now when I talked to her. She still is uncomfortable with the direct line feeding tube and has some discomfort. I got on the Doctor's case as they had not advance moms units of food for nearly a week, when his own reccomendation was to increase her from 40 to 75. How she supposed to get better on starvation rations? He moved he up to 65 for now. CHris will see the oncologist Tomorrow at 9am to discuss mom's prognosis.

 

[pretty faythe]

You were here for SEMA? What booth/hall?

Hi All!

I wasn't able to update you all on mom's condition as I was away for work to the APEX / SEMA show in Las Vegas. Wednesday thru Firday. It is a huge show taking up pretty much all of the space at both the Las Vegas Convention Center for SEMA and the Sands Convention Center plus some of the Ventiatian confrence center areas for Apex. I walked alot Wednesday and Thursday and got to work the booth for a bit and walk Friday.

 

[John in Covina]

AAPEX / SEMA

You were here for SEMA? What booth/hall?

**************
Egge Machine was in the SEMA side in one of the halls of the LV Convention Center on what was called Restoration Alley. I don't recall the booth number, but the hall we were in had some true to life sized hot wheels cars and there was a raised section with some awesome Mustangs also there was a cool looking Lotus with a clear coat black carbon fiber body in the same hall. I spent most of my time in the Tuberculosus Pit IE the basement of the AAPEX show searching thru the 3rd world manufacturers at the Sands. As to the TB reference for 6 of the last 8 years i would have to go there to scope out who was copying the company's trade marked goods and usually everyone is coughing spitting hacking and chain smoking down there. THis year they had a real anti smoking squad go thru and they fined the smokers $150 plus kicked them out with a ban on return. So not as many chain smokers this year. I always worry I will get the 2 known versions of the Asian Flu another version they don't know plus the bird flu down there. maybe even Ebola. So far not even a sniffle...yet.

 

[John in Covina]

Mom update 11/12

Stopped in with Max the wunderdog this evening to see mom, and she was tired but looking pretty good her eyes seemed clearer. She petted Max but did not remeber at all that they took her for a wheel chair ride earlier or that my brother had visited.. Slow recovery to be sure so far.

Least week was upsetting, first the fact that they nurses were not following the feeding directives and increasing her to 75 units from 40 had to give the doctor a hard time over that. After giving a hard time over them not following the directives as set out the doctor said somethiong about the dietician, but I did not back down and said you have been starving her for a week and woundering why she has no strength? He finally looked at my mom and said for her height and weight she should be at 65 anyway. They got her on that right away. I Wanted to give her some pureed fruit but she refused to even open her mouth!

That week my brother went to the oncologist for the consultation and mom was sent by ambulance to be reviewed. First, the address was wrong, they sent mom and Chris to the doctor's old location. The receptionist said to my brother, this doctor has not worked here for 3 years, and then said this happens all of the time! 3 years, happens all the time and no one has corrected it yet, my what a confidence builder.

Then the oncologist wasn't there so the radiologist comes out, he checked her Blood Pressure, Temp and breathing (like they couldn't do it at the rehab place) and he asked my brother first all of the info they had him fill out on the forms just minutes earlier, then he asked what is her schedule of radition treatments!

My brother told the radiologist, since he was there only for consultation and wasn't in charge of prescribing treatments , he felt they should try and get their facts straight before they jump to any conclusions. Without clarification from the doctor in charge , we were not going to let them do anything since they appear so incompetant so far. The doctor tried to bull his way thru the meting with some of the same old bull and my brother quized him and said you have no clue as to what is going on and you are not touching her until the oncologist is available. That shut him up cause he knew he had blown it with such a poor 'teer manure' job.

This type of stupidity seems to be amplified in the medical field. Just a few minutes reviewing moms charts and info would have gotten him up to speed but they have to give the some old BS and act like they know what they are doing.

I may have to be direct with this guy in the future. Lord grant me patience.

 

[John in Covina]

Replace stupidity with arrogance maybe. I have a fair number of friends that have been mis-diagnosed. Even my mom had been given conflicting drugs when she had back surgery about 10 years ago.

 

[John in Covina]

MOM Update 11/27

Hi All!

Well, mom has been doing ok to good most days, she seems a little bit more in the “Here and Now” and as such is connecting more to what I talk to her about. However, when she is tired she is not connected much. She get really tired very easily, such as simply sitting upright for 45 minutes will completely tire her out., let alone any rehabilitation work.

But she has spoken to me more than in weeks and that is good to see and hear. I brought Max the Wunderdog on Sunday for a visit and Mom just perked up. She said “Momma’s little puppy!” to max, which is one of the things we always call him.

The next choice to make soon is as to radiation therapy. The doctors said that she has some of the tumor remaining in her brain and the radiation therapy will reduce or eliminate it, targeting the tumor but not harming the brain tissue. If they can do that she may be able to recover better. Physically she won’t be affected in other areas either, except she will lose her hair but there should be no detrimental effects to her recovery.

So the question is can she handle the travel to and from the lab which I think is about a 20 minute ride each way. Chris and I need to discuss this soon.

Sincere best regards,

 

[Big Man]

It's good to hear that there are some improvements in your Mother's health. I will continue to keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[PADDY]

John (from Paddy M)

My thoughts and prayers are with you on this one John. It's a difficult time and raises so many mixed emotions and thoughts of what might happen. This is why family/friends are so important and your mum will appreciate having such an loving and attentive son during what must be a very frightening period for her.

Your friend (with the most marvellous 40's pen), Paddy.

 

[John in Covina]

11/28

Mom Update 11/28/07

Today was a not so good day, when I got there my brother and his wife Tessie were still there talking with the Case Doctor while one of the staff was doing stuff.

Moms blood sugar had gotten very low as was her blood oxygen level. The Steriods that are for healing tend to keep the blood sugar level high and they were giving insulin to control the levels. She wasn’t gasping or in breathing distress so they thought perhaps the O2 reader was getting a false reading but had the mask on just in case.

The doctor was worried because mom was experiencing “Foot Drop” where she is pointing her toes away from her body, sso there is a worry that her brain is having problems.

They will be doing blood tests, urine analysis, an xray of her lungs and a few other things tomorrow, possibly a CAT scan. Friday, she may be going for the Radiologist for another exam, but we’re not 100% sure. If she gets a clean bill for it we may go ahead with the radiation treatment, soon.

Sincerely,

 

[John in Covina]

11/29

They have her on antibiotics right now and she seems a little bit better than yeaterday. If Friday goes ok they can take her for Radiation treatment on Monday maybe.

What a roller caoster ride this has been.

 

[Miss Crisplock]

You have my prayers.

 

[John in Covina]

You have my prayers.

Thanks everyone, it means alot to have this support and to share these burdons with you all. It helps a bunch.

 

[John in Covina]

Mom Update 12/01/07

Mom Update 12/01/07

I got there at about 5:20pm and mom was talking a little bit to me. She commented that the soup smelled good that the lady next to her was having. After a few minutes she closed her eyes and snored a bit. A little while later she woke up again and I told her about vacuum cleaning up a trivet Max got a hold of and shredded to bits.

Then she fell asleep again. She opened her eyes and I told her I’ll be back on Sunday. She looks better than Thursday for certain.



Maybe the antibiotics, extra food and such is kicking in?

Sincerely,

 

[Ecuador Jim]

John,

I read your posts, and am immediately transported back to similar episodes with my parents. I always felt somewhat helpless to do anything to improve their care for fear there would be some sort of backlash.

You might consider taking the posts you've made to this thread and sharing them with the care facility. If you've been keeping a log, even better. Let them know of your concerns about your mom's care. Give them the opportunity to step up to the standard, or that you could share the same information with an advocacy group, or a local media troubleshooter.

Much of the elder care in this country is in a shambles. At some point, you have to take off the gloves, and fight the good fight.

My dad's care facility kept trying to play the "poor pitiful us", with tales of not being able to hire the proper staff, over-regulation, management pushing for more cost control, etc. That fogs the issue. The standard of care remains.

Sorry for the rant, but you and your family deserve better. God bless.

 

[John in Covina]

Hi Jim,

It has been tough and the thing is that the staff are not bad people, they are just a little overwhelmed with their duties. So it pays to be vigilent and ask questions, plus see the charts!

 

[John in Covina]

12/3-12/4

Mom Update 12/03/07

I got there at about 5:10pm and mom was sleeping and did not wake up, I said mom but her eyes opened a little and closed right back again. They said she had gone to the Radiation therapy and that is why she was tired.

12/4/07 Tuesday
I got there about 5:15pm after some crummy stop and go traffic. Mom was agitated and it seems her back was sore. She indicated some what that her back was bothering her and she wanted to change position. After some non assistance from the crew, who came in a and changed her clothes and Depends but not her position. I spoke with the head nurse who said she would have them change her position and get her some pain meds. Mom was not all there but moaned and cried out calling for her mom.
Sincerely,

 

[John in Covina]

Mom Update 12/08/07

Saturday, I got there at about 3:00pm. Mom was awake but not really connected with reality. They nurse was putting in a new IV so they could administer some antibiotics. Over the last couple of days she developed a bed sore on her back and she has been picking at it which is not good. So, they actually put these mittens on her hands to stop her from that and trying to pull the various tubes out! Mom has finished 5 radiation treatments and has 10 more to go. They do them M-F and she gets the weekends off. The radiation doctor said that they usually see any improvements about 2 weeks after the completion of the treatments. I hope it helps, I really want my mom back, walking, talking and in this reality plus not so distressed.

She has not been so good the last few days, infections have really been a problem, the bed sore is probably infected too.

Sincerely,

 

[Tony in Tarzana]

I really hope those hospital employees can get their act together and look after your dear mother properly, and that her condition improves. Continued prayers.