Ebay feedback help please

[The Lady Ashuko]

I don't know if this is allowed, but I'm seriously unsure as of what to do in this situation. I'm not good at giving feedback, I probably have often given positives when a neutral was more appropriate because I just wanted to move on and it just didn't mean that much to me. The one time that I did leave a neutral, I was given a retaliatory negative for not communicating that I was going to give a negative. With this in mind, when I received my 1970s maxi dress in the mail (description here) I was shocked to see that the fabric was a cheap shiny poly (I was born in the 80s, and had no idea 70s era poly was this horrible) and that the seam by the zipper was not even close to being what I would call "wearable."

Not wanting a situation like what happened before, I decided to send her a note saying that I was planning to leave her a neutral (not neg. because when I tried it on, I liked the way that it fit and looked on me and I'd already taken it to have the zipper fixed). I sent this message:

When I recieved this dress, I was horrified at the
type of polyester it ended up. In the pics it
looked nice but IRL it looks like the kind used
for nightgowns. The seam at the top of the zipper
was very nearly coming apart. I have taken the
dress to my alterations lady to fix the zipper,
though, because when I tried it on, the fit was
perfect and the dress looks good on me. Because of
these things, I am planning on leaving a neutral
feedback, but I wanted to give you a fair warning.
Thank you and have a nice day!

I thought this was courteous and to the point. From her I received:

Thanks for the heads up. I'm glad the dress looks nice on you,
but I do except returns if it's not what you expected or are
unsatisfied. I didn't notice the zipper and like I said in the
description-it's not in perfect condition. I also did not know
how to further describe the fabric other than as polyester (but I
wouldn't have equated it with a nightgown). I thought it typical
of the period and completely wearable. I don't feel the item was
misrepresented and questions are always welcome before bids,
so should you change your mind on keeping the dress, I will
gladly refund you. Again, I apologize that it was not what you
expected. I still think it's a lovely dress and only hope you can
enjoy it as I did.

Also courteous, but I take issue with the fact that she thinks that merely mentioning that the garment isn't perfect excuses a messed up seam at the zipper (the only part even mentioned in the description as having issues is the hem) and expecting the seller to take the responsibility for not having asked about a problem that is nearly impossible to discern from what is offered. If the seller doesn't say there is an issue with the zipper, I think there probably isn't one, am I right?

it is wearable, and I realize that you did say it
was polyester, but I think that saying a dress
isn't in perfect condition is not quite the same
as saying specifically that the zipper may need
mending. Being that I am only in my early 20s and
just now taking an intrest in vintage fashion, I
didn't know that 70s era polyester was so shiny
and a better description might have been to say
it's like the fabric used in Halloween costumes. I
was really quite devastated when I opened the
package, because I recently started to remove
synthetic fibers but did not expect nearly what I
got. If you know that an item's characteristic is
not appearing in the photos, you, as a seller,
should really mention it in the description
specifically so the bidder knows exactly what they
are getting into.

I thought the photos were a good representation of the dress. I
don't know what else to say. I did not notice the zipper. This is
my first time putting items up for sale on Ebay and was perhaps
rushed because I am in the process of moving and clearing
some things out. I will take your advice to heart and try to be
more descriptive in the future. I know if I have any concerns
before buying, I ask many, many specific questions. I have
never associated 70s polyester with being a topnotch fabric and
didn't know how else to describe it, but it didn't even occur to
me that it was as bad as you say. It seems we have both fallen
victim to our own assumptions.

Personally, I am frustrated with how she is shouldering blame onto me for not being a mindreader. At this point, I'm considering leaving a negative. I'm not sure though, because she is being polite about it so I'm not sure if it would be justified or if I'm just being too sensitive. I'd really appreciate some input so I don't do something I can't take back.

 

[Slim Portly]

Clearly there is a disagreement between the two of you, and it speaks well of each of you that the conversation has remained civilized thus far.

As always with online purchases, the proof is in the pudding, and opening that box can be delightful or horrifying. You can't carefully examine or try on the outfit ahead of time, and you have not indicated that you asked any questions or requested further photos prior to purchase.

When I am disappointed upon receipt of an eBay item, I go back and re-read the original description and look carefully at the pictures, and I also re-read anything the seller posted as to their return policy.

It sounds to me like the seller made an honest attempt to represent the item in both words and photos, so it comes down to whether or not you wish to keep the item or return it. Keeping it means that it is acceptable to you, and returning it means that it is not.

The seller has already indicated that she will accept a return, and one really can't ask for much more than that at this point. The dress is not going to transform into what you wish that it could be, but you do not need to keep it. Should you keep the item anyway, despite its imperfections (as it seems that you intend), perhaps you may inquire as to a possible return of a percentage of the purchase price. I had a seller offer this to me once when I found myself in a similar situation and I considered it a thoughtful and responsible gesture on his part.

 

[JimWagner]

She said you could return it if not satisfied. So return it if you don't like it and move on and don't bother with leaving any feedback at all.

Or would you rather fight with the seller?

 

[Zemke Fan]

Really...

PLEASE keep posting here on the FL... But, seriously, for $38 send it back. After it's returned there is no need for feedback. No harm, no foul. SP and JW give you good advice. Follow it. eBay is a crap shot. Sometimes the crap you shoot really IS crap. Send it back. (Or resell it!)

 

[The Lady Ashuko]

Yeah, I've decided that I'm going to return it. Thank you for your advice, everyone.