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Does wearing vintage Get you noticed by the opposite sex?

Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
I also like forward women.

Being the level of unique that a vintage individual is, it's tough to make a move for fear of women thinking you're a bit off to begin with. Now, if I were to run into a woman someplace who was also dressed in vintage, I'd certainly approach her, not to mention it'd be a great icebreaker. It's tough for guys these days. Women have all the power in the dating world, it seems.
 

_Nightwing

One of the Regulars
Messages
128
Location
Gastonia
I personally don't like to chase after guys- I think that if a man wants a Lady (proper noun being the point here) then he should be a Man.

*notes to self* What was that? Oh, yes, yes, quite.

Perhaps you could offer your hat with a "Care to try it on?"
That way you avoid any unintentional space invasion and subsequent gut punching :)

Talk to them! *face palm* That's genius. See, I never think of these great ideas at the time. The vintage suits are really helping my confidence though. With every day I wear them a little more than they wear me.

I also like forward women.

Now, if I were to run into a woman someplace who was also dressed in vintage, I'd cert -

Let me just stop you there, Tom. If one of us did that it would be plain fantastic. And it seems from some of the posts that it's happened before, but no-one's really giving the details. The good stuff. I'd really like to hear about such an encounter.

I think women do have all the power in the dating world. Men used to have the money and the charisma to even out being ugly, and they even weren't ugly either because masculinity actually had some value. Now the dichotomy is more like evil/female. And charisma sends you down a chute where you hit a T junction and if you come out on the left you're a douche and on the right you're a tool. To tie that back to the theme of the thread, it's understandable that guys are afraid of real style these guys, like vintage clothes - it's so easy to put a foot wrong with clothes or behavior that the art of modern dating seems to be the avoiding of making any kind of impression at all, a kind of visible invisibility, like the Invisible Man wearing a pair of sunglasses. The solution? I think it's time to man up, rake on that fedora to its most rakish angle - frighteningly rakish in fact - and force a yes answer to this thread one girl at a time. Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting rape. Just being confident and looking cool, so that's clear.
 
Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
I have to agree. I don't know if it was easier 'back when' or not. It seems that any time I see any guy make a move on a girl, the girl just seems to recoil like the fella just vomited in her shoes or something. It's really funny to me that anybody gets together anymore. Also, I'll be talking to my buddies and there's the old shut off switch of 'you're too nice.' That's a nail in the coffin right there lol

Now, a big part of why I wear vintage is because it's what I'm comfortable in. Being comfortable in your clothes gives you confidence. You know, you're out, dressed to the 9's and you feel like Bogey, it's a good feeling. Sashay-ing your way down the sidewalk like you're a movie star. You feel like a hot-shot. On the flip side of that coin. While you're feeling like a Hollywood star, the pretty little number you're eyeing across the way sees a guy in her grandpa's old suit and fedora. Sometimes you can see it and they shut you down faster than you can say salsa verde. Now, I'm not trying to be a bitter person, it just seems that it's a tough game for guys in general, and if you stand out from the crowd, forget it!

It's like you said, you've got to NOT make an impression. I don't understand how that works. I know, in a woman, I look for a lot of character. I'm always digging for good morals, strong beliefs, a strong sense of pride and family, good work ethic. You'd think that a woman would be looking for the same from a guy. What good is a fella that just blends in with the woodwork and brick-a-brack and more or less has no backbone?
 

djd

Practically Family
Messages
570
Location
Northern Ireland
I don't think it's possible to generalise about any of this stuff. Whatever you're wearing, confidence is important. If you're wearing 'different' stuff it can suggest over confidence and a big ego to some people and that may put them off. Looking different to the crowd can be an ice breaker or it can be a barrier. My feeling is just dress to make yourself happy and comfortable and the rest will take care of itself. ;)
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
Women have all the power in the dating world, it seems.

I feel the exact opposite! I'd like it if a man actually talked to me, instead of just staring or yelling out "Hey look, its Betty Boop!!" (which really quite embarrasses me.)

By "talking," I don't mean some cheesy line, either (do men really think they work?) If a well dressed man approached me and asked my name, I'd happily shoot the breeze with him. If he was dressed in vintage... Well... There would be a distinct connection.

Rant over.
 
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Travis Lee Johnston

Practically Family
Messages
623
Location
Mesa/Phoenix, Arizona
Yelling at women is a form of self sabotage. Those guys don't think you're going to talk to them anyway so they mock you or say something very corny/obnoxious. It's based on insecurity.

This *women have all the power* stuff is all in your head fellas. You're putting all the power and importance on her. If she starts believing that rigmarole and knows you believe it, then she's going to abuse you. Have some dignity.

Learn to be gifted in the art of conversation and charm. If you know your stuff and can make her laugh and keep her attention long enough. She'll go home with you or you'll see her again. Avoid laying on the *but I'm a nice guy* routine. Just be honest.
 

MissChloeCorville

Familiar Face
Messages
60
Location
Florida
I actually gotta admit I'm not into that whole rockabilly look a lot of guys do who are into the 50s thing like me. I don't know - perhaps too greasy for me? I like guys who just dress smart, and who are confident with themselves. I'm kinda a sucker for the poindexter look. A big pair of thick framed glasses always steals my heart.

I've never really got to know any other vintage men (or ladies for that matter) very well, so all the feedback I've got is from guys who aren't interested in vintage. Pretty much all of them agree they find the vintage look on women far too 'high maintenance', which personally I think just shows a woman looks after herself [huh] However, even my boyfriend thinks it's too high maintenance. The only male attention I get on the street other than from my boyfriend, is from elderly men reminiscing about when their wives looked like me back in the day!
I used to be heavily into rockabilly and psychobilly scene. But the guys in that scene are like nazis when it comes to THEIR looks. I've dated a couple of them and theyre mostly focused on how high they can pomp their hair! The guy im seeing now isn't as crazy as vintage clothing as I am but we do have the same interest in music, film etc.... He loves the seamed stockings and heels ( agreeing Viola:) ) But it's not a make it or break it with me if he doesnt dress vintage. ;) - CC
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
Yelling at women is a form of self sabotage. Those guys don't think you're going to talk to them anyway so they mock you or say something very corny/obnoxious. It's based on insecurity.

I've had experiences (and known many women who did as well) with men who lashed out if I didn't accept an invitation, though I'm habitually nice about it. Maybe this is in the same vein. Thanks for the insight :)

The guy im seeing now isn't as crazy as vintage clothing as I am but we do have the same interest in music, film etc.... He loves the seamed stockings and heels ( agreeing Viola:) ) But it's not a make it or break it with me if he doesnt dress vintage. ;) - CC

The vintage look may seem high maintenance to today's man, who spends next to no time on his appearance. The guy I'm seeing complains "Do you have to dress up? You make me feel like a slob," even if I'm dressed quite casually. (He's constantly "suggesting" that I should look more modern, though I was a pin-up years before I met him.)
 
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Travis Lee Johnston

Practically Family
Messages
623
Location
Mesa/Phoenix, Arizona
I went out on a date Friday but I dunno if I like the chick. I feel like I'm the only one making all the effort to communicate. I think I'll hold out for a girl who's more into what I like. I may never find them but what compromise is is two people are sitting in a room and one of them is unhappy.
 

Tatum

Practically Family
Messages
959
Location
Sunshine State
I went out on a date Friday but I dunno if I like the chick. I feel like I'm the only one making all the effort to communicate. I think I'll hold out for a girl who's more into what I like. I may never find them but what compromise is is two people are sitting in a room and one of them is unhappy.

I give my friends crap about having standards way too high (I don't believe in perfection in anything, and I fully believe in compromise) but that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. And if someone isn't communicating with you now, they sure won't later. Unless, of course, said girl is super shy, but I don't get that from your post.

I say this because I know couples that don't talk anymore. Fortunately Hubby and I still talk like we did 13+ years ago :)
 

LocktownDog

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,254
Location
Northern Nevada
I say this because I know couples that don't talk anymore. Fortunately Hubby and I still talk like we did 13+ years ago :)

Good for you! Conversation, simple and mundane as well as highly intellectual, is very underrated by some people. Its not necessarily about commonalities, but more about getting along. My ex and I had a lot in common, but could never speak without fighting. I'd love to find someone exactly the opposite. :D
 
Messages
10,883
Location
Portage, Wis.
If I saw a woman dressed vintage, I wouldn't be able to approach her fast enough. That right there shows that there is a huge amount in common to talk about as an ice-breaker. Unfortunately, believe it or not, the Village of Pardeeville doesn't have a vintage scene lol

It just seems every woman I meet has 200 guys chasing them, and they make sure to make that known. I think they think it makes them look like a hot commodity, really it just makes it seem like they're more interested in the other guys than you.



I feel the exact opposite! I'd like it if a man actually talked to me, instead of just staring or yelling out "Hey look, its Betty Boop!!" (which really quite embarrasses me.)

By "talking," I don't mean some cheesy line, either (do men really think they work?) If a well dressed man approached me and asked my name, I'd happily shoot the breeze with him. If he was dressed in vintage... Well... There would be a distinct connection.

Rant over.
 

Travis Lee Johnston

Practically Family
Messages
623
Location
Mesa/Phoenix, Arizona
I give my friends crap about having standards way too high (I don't believe in perfection in anything, and I fully believe in compromise) but that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. And if someone isn't communicating with you now, they sure won't later. Unless, of course, said girl is super shy, but I don't get that from your post.

I say this because I know couples that don't talk anymore. Fortunately Hubby and I still talk like we did 13+ years ago :)

She might be shy but who knows. I get sick of trying to play Criswell the mind reader with the lot of em. Every mask has a visible seam, you know? So I say come out with it already, what's back there that's so awful?

If she doesn't giggle and snort to my constant movie references and inside jokes then she'll just think I'm an unfunny douche. There are girls who haven't seen Goodfellas and don't know who Eddie Cochran is. It seems that they're not willing to be taught these things either.:eusa_doh:
 

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
I don't think I have ever seen anyone dressed in a vintage style here. It isn't that sort of town I guess!

I don't dress all that vintage but I would be wary of doing so as even just wearing a pretty and modest dress leads to comments. Somehow some men just think they can grab my arm, stand in my way to stop me passing or corner me in a pub. I don't like it and find it quite intimidating. The same with shouted comments.

I think that women do have more power in the casual dating area. There doesn't seem to be as much stigma attached to multiple short term "hook ups" and, from what my friends have said, they aren't worried about their reputation. If anything not liking super casual dating gets more of a negative reputation.
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
It just seems every woman I meet has 200 guys chasing them, and they make sure to make that known. I think they think it makes them look like a hot commodity, really it just makes it seem like they're more interested in the other guys than you.

Which is not charming! I personally abide by the tried and true method: Don't flirt with men you aren't interested in, and if you are, be fascinated by every word he says. :)

I don't dress all that vintage but I would be wary of doing so as even just wearing a pretty and modest dress leads to comments. Somehow some men just think they can grab my arm, stand in my way to stop me passing or corner me in a pub. I don't like it and find it quite intimidating. The same with shouted comments.

That is awful! A textbook case of assault. Don't ever let these bullies intimidate you. Staring them in the eyes and saying "Don't. Touch. Me." always works.
(Of course, if they grab somewhere other than your arm, a slap is warranted.)
 

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