Does this mean I am getting old, or just finaly smartened up a bit?

[CliffG]

I have hit a "first" in my life late this afternoon, it is something that I, as a younger man had not crossed my mind.
I bring this here because I have a great deal of respect for the people who come to this place and post their life and their likes and passions. I read a lot of good posts here and one thing I feel sure of is people will give an honest opinion...but each of you are sincere in your remarks, and that your remarks are well thought out and draw upon a vast pool of life experiences.

I guess what I need is to hear is...well I guess if I tell you what I "need to hear" I will not get a candid comment, and your honest thoughts are what I really need to hear tonight, instead of what I would like to hear.

I placed an ad for a BBQ grill for sale (nothing big not a big expense by any means) , when a gentleman came to talk to me about it, I was completely honest about it needing repaired, he assured me he was able to fix it and the price I was asking was agreeable; he said his neighbor was a sales man for this type of grill and could get him parts. I suggested he talk to his neighbor and see if he could get the parts and I would hold the item for him, he decided to take the grill anyway. End of story...nope.
Today he called me and said he was able to obtain a replacement part under warranty and had installed it himself, and now it was worse than when he bought it from me, I gave him some suggestions and advice ho how to make his mistakes go away. I felt good that I had helped him fix something he had compounded by his efforts. Several hours later he is banging away all angry like on my front door, I open the door and talk to him and he wants me to give him his money back, I politely tell him that our agreement was "as is".
He gets angry and starts cursing me, I turn around and start to go inside, then he calls me out to fight him...I have never NOT accepted a challenge before, especially like this one, I turned around and as calmly as possible told him to leave, he continued taunting me, it was hard not to accept his invitation, but I told him to leave one more time than walked into the house and closed the front door.
I was not afraid of this fella, actually more felt sorry for him, even if he was to beat me down I used to be able to take that too, I know the legal ramifications for such tom foolery, but I am not sure if any of that came into play in my mind. Have I grown up? did I back down? am I just getting older?
perhaps I am just being over dramatic about this, my wife was proud of my self restraint, she said she had visions of me diving over the rail of the porch and removing his brain pan.
Now that I have put this pencil to paper...er umm..keybord to forum???
your thoughts please
Thanks
Cliff

 

[HungaryTom]

Hi,

Accepting a fight? Man, you live in the US, where everyone is free to carry gun. Even if you are a black belt martial artist, what do you do if this idiot produces a firearm or knife?

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

:eusa_clap You did the right thing. Even though it was tempting I'm sure, as the lout was on your property, and all belligerent, giving him his just deserts would only make more trouble for you. He could have probably found a way to sue you for defending yourself. Besides, who cares what an idiot like that thinks anyway?? lol
It was a show of maturity on your part, nothing less.

 

[zetwal]

I have always avoided physical violence unless needed to defend myself or another from immanent physical harm. Paradoxically, I learned this very early in my youth when I first began studying martial arts. We had a rather detailed code concerning this point and I took it to heart at an impressionable age. There is a certain logic and dignity to the code. It has also proven to be quite practical in my own life. Stated simply it advises that we avoid violent conflict whenever possible. If escape or avoidance is in fact impossible, and protecting violence is required, use force only in proportion to the actual threat, and know what you are doing. :cool2:

 

[Dixon Cannon]

Yep! Handled well. If there's to be a physical fight, let he be the one who starts it. By turning away, that should be the end of it - unless he's obsessed and vindictive of course.

-dixon cannon

 

[Pilgrim]

First, he bought the grill and it was his. You made no guarantee. He was crude and unreasonable, and getting physical with him would have been stupid. There was NOTHING to be gained, and he's probably the kind of guy who would have turned around and sued you for assault.

You did well - he showed himself to be a boor and a jerk.

In my opinion, you came out very well. :eusa_clap

 

["Skeet" McD]

Me too...

What he said...and your wife is (rightly) proud of you to boot, which is an additional plus, and one not to be lightly valued.

I don't care what age you are...for my money, you made the right choice.

Congratulations!

"Skeet"

 

[The Sky Ranger]

You did the right thing.

Engaging in physical combat if you are not attacked physically is a certain way of showing respect for your opponent. If he is not worthy such engagement (which was the case here) just closing the door was the best thing to do.

If a gentleman would have suggested a fair fist fight with referees and according to rules, it might have been a different story. But that was just a ruffian, don't waste your time with such guys.

 

[ClassicMan1966]

I agree with the other posters. Most people aren't worth losing your job or going to jail for...

 

[Charlie74]

I will also add my agreement with the others. You were a gentleman and that is rare today

 

[Nathan Dodge]

You absolutely did the right thing. The only time you should engage in a fight is to defend yourself. You should've called the police, though, to set a precedent if the dope threatens you again.

 

[ScionPI2005]

I'd have to agree with the others, and also Nathan Dodge. I would have done the same thing you did, and also threatened to call the police if he did not leave my property.

I have never been in a physical fight, however I have been involved in verbal assaults (as the victim, never the offender), and have studied conflict resolution. Playing someone's game, or trying to "one up them" never works, and generally makes the situation much worse.

In your situation, it sounds like the man was beyond the point of being able to reason and communicate effectively with him. At that point, telling him the conversation is over, ignoring him, or bringing in the authorities would be the best solution.

 

[Chainsaw]

there's nothing wrong with an honest fight. Except nowadys, there's always probably some stooge, or woman that might call the cops for no reason. If it's your property it's best to chase the guy off with a baseball bat, but don't balk, be ready to use it.

There's nothing worse then having that feeling like you should have punched the guy in the head, but you wouldn't alow yourself to.

Standing your ground like you did is probably a sign of maturity though. Like not having to put hot peppers on your hamburger, or tabasco on your wings.

 

[Andykev]

Over a BBQ? Whats' next, road rage over a parking spot?

I guess anger management classes work for some and not for others.

Fighting over a BBQ? There are risks, injury, arrest, etc. to consider.

Over a BBQ? The guy KNOWS where you live....It is possible you could suddenly experience "random" acts of vandalism.

Maybe he's got gang friends and his home boys may feel the need to uphold his honor.

Yes, the mature thing is to say "we had a deal, sold as is, you said you could fix it, I was totally honest.....are you a man of your word?"

 

[4spurs]

call the cops

You did the right thing for yourself, but you owe your community something; you should've called the cops.

You can't have a fool like that walking around. This is likely not the first time he's acted this way, and he's bound to do it again.

 

[Corky]

It's true, you are getting old...

...But the guy who bought your BBQ is a Psycho.

It's best not to engage a person like that any more than is absolutely necessary.

 

[WideBrimm]

It sounds as if you're getting older and wiser, and smarter too. It's always best not to take the bait. And it always helps to have given the customer a receipt which states the terms of sale. Something you can show the cops or take to court.

 

[vintage68]

You did the right thing.

Fighting him would have felt better emotionally, but the guy is obviously irrational and once you open that can of worms it's better to know you had no other choice. Since you did have a choice, walking away is always the better option unless you're defending yourself.

If he shows up again call the cops. Vulgar swine, that'll learn him...

 

[CliffG]

Thank you everyone, I did talk to an officer, he said he was aware of how this cat operates and would go and find him and recommend that he not come bye any more.
I guess it is nice to have some one else do the heavy lifting, and hopefully stop it all now.
Thanks again everyone.
Cliff

 

[Son_of_Atropos]

My perception of the golden era is that fighting was commonplace and no big deal really. So, this thread brings up a great issue. Why does today's society treat fighting so negatively? He offered to fight you and you could have accepted. However, someone has to lay the ground rules as to when a fight is over. Knockout, TKO, or "I quit." Maybe next time you could say, "Hey there is a boxing ring at so and so's meet me there and fight me as a man and not as an animal." (It is easy to play armchair quarterback, but in my opinion you did the right thing.) Just something to think about if another occasion arises.

legally, I believe that if both parties agree to a fight then there are no legal consequences, as long as one party doesn't use a weapon or excessive force.