Do you wear curlers in front of your Significant Other?

[LizzieMaine]

I used to, and I used to see my ex schlepping around all the time in ragged holey underwear and disreputable socks -- the longer you're with someone, the fewer secrets there will be. By the time the tenth anniversary rolls around, you're lucky if there's any at all.

 

[Dexter'sDame]

Rarely yes, mostly no

Rarely yes, mostly no. He can see me sans makeup, or he can see part of the process, but he doesn't need to see or know everything! I keep it to the level of about what you see in old photos of stars getting made up. He's seen my vanity table full of stuff, but he has no idea what I do with it all. ...Seems a little more like "magic" and gets more of a "wow" out of 'em that way. That said, we don't live together. But if we did I'd still try to maintain the mystery, because I don't want to know what all he does either.

 

[V-Sweetheart]

So many great suggestions!

I agree one has to keep some mystery, but on the other hand if one needs to set one needs to set. I wash and set once a week. I sometimes do the roll set under dryer dodge during the day if I am able to cram it in on a Saturday. Right now we don't live together although he is campaigning heavily. When that time comes as Lizzie Maine says there will be less mystery. Meanwhile if an event comes up that requires a set, I will try the scarf trick and explain that beauty isn't all fun and games!

 

[Dexter'sDame]

I'm with Angelea Lansbury on this

For me, the "mystery" aspect has nothing to do with being a modern woman or not...It's about keeping the relationship interesting (which is more my thing; he's fine either way).

Years ago, Angela Lansbury was on a talk show plugging her book at the time, and the host asked her the secret to her longtime happy relationship. (Despite her on-screen image, apparently they were very demonstrative, and if memory serves, he was considerably younger than she.) I'll never forget her response:

"A little mystery, and separate bathrooms if you can do it. The last thing a husband needs to see is his wife stuffing herself into her tights when you're getting ready for an evening out!"

 

[Mrs. Merl]

I guess maintaining "the mystery" is a good idea - if you live a certain type of lifestyle... If you are stuck in a tiny apartment with one bath...that mystery is pretty much impossible to maintain. And heaven forbid you get sick with this mystery keeping routine. I dunno I think it is just too much of a pain to work that hard at something so superficial - makes me glad my fella pretty much thinks I am cute no matter what! He appreciates the effort I do put in and loves me looking good even if he knows how it happened!

 

[annet]

i found this and wanted to resurrect it!

my boyfriend and i don't live together, but when he spends the night we often share the bathroom (saves time) or shower together. he has seen me when i'm taking my make up off at night or when i put it on in the morning. he has seen me scrub, put on hair and face masks, do my nails. i have seen him in the same kind of situations. we both understand that these are normal, human or necessary actions and really don't care...

i do draw a line somewhere. i won't use the bathroom in front of him, and shaving is just a bit too unattractive. but in general, i think it has to do with being really comfortable around your partner.

 

[Miss sofia]

When i lived with my ex, i definately tried to retain the air of mystery as much as possible, some things were not for his consumption, like waxing your upper lip! In the bathroom with the door firmly shut thank you!

I did actually get over the mud pack hurdle by actually giving him a facial and after much reluctance on his part, he actually used to enjoy it sometimes, so i didn't feel embarassed about it. If we were going out for the evening i would always put on my sassy robe when i was getting ready with a head full of rollers and waft round the house, giving him a peek of stocking, so he was happy. He always said he appreciated the effort i made to look after myself anyway.

 

[RodeoRose]

I actually think curlers look cute...
I do rag curls with strips of calico from a 40s dress I hemmed, so I think they're pretty adorable, lol. I've also gone to class and/or around town with a scarf over pin or rag curls if I want them fresh for the evening; reminds me of the Rosie look.

I've never had a live-in boyfriend before, but I'm always kind of shy about applying makeup in front of people. I'm scared they'll think I use too much and decide I'm not a fresh-faced natural beauty at all; vain and silly, I know, but I prefer people think I use less mascara and foundation than I do!

 

[40'sfetish]

All the time! Then again we've known each other for nearly 20 years and once a man sees a woman give birth, I don't think anything can shock him lol. While it's nice to be nicely turned out, it's more for me than anything else, whilst my hubby gets to enjoy the benefits, however I have no intention of trying to create some sort of illusion for my husband, we have a wonderful partnership and like to keep it real, warts n all.

I pincurl my hair quite often, and it usually has a couple of rollers in the front and a few in the back. I tie the whole lot up with a cute scarf a la rosie, mainly to hold it all together for sleeping on rather than any concern about looking strange. I also usually pin the curls up again each night to keep the set going, for up to 4-5 days in a row.

I have also worn the scarf covered set to my pole dancing class on the Saturday morning as we were going to a "Do" that night & I wouldn't have enough time between finishing class and leaving for our friends place for a set to dry.

 

[Foofoogal]

Never ever. Married 35 years. I am from a mother that every single day of my childhood like clockwork would go take a bath, dress up and make us pick up toys or whatever as Daddy is coming home.
Of course we all get comfortable at the home but definitely mystery is still important.
That man never knows what I will do next.
I never plan or am planning to serve him up to some other female on a silver platter.
It goes both ways for all the ones gasping now.

 

[Smuterella]

^ I don't understand your last sentence there.

My take: If you have to set your hair at night I don't see how its avoidable and frankly, if someone is going to go off me because they don't like me as my real self, well they can take a hike sooner rather than later, thanks.

I'd rather stay single than play games.

 

[annet]

^this.

my partner is actually really happy about the effort i make to look good, and because he sees me making it happen he realises what a job it is! this way he doesn't take it for granted...

 

[Ada Vice]

^ I don't understand your last sentence there.

My take: If you have to set your hair at night I don't see how its avoidable and frankly, if someone is going to go off me because they don't like me as my real self, well they can take a hike sooner rather than later, thanks.

I'd rather stay single than play games.

This

Not very womens lib to live a lie imo, and I'm a bit of a Feminazi despite the slap and hair.

My ex had a bit of a 'you don't do that in front of someone' and I did go a bit mad saying 'I'm not some fkin princess you know....' I'm not prepared to hide who I am from anyone. If you don't like it find someone else.

 

[Foofoogal]

http://tinyurl.com/2fvd2km
Primping vintage style.

I don't plan on having an ex thank you very much.

The rewards far outweigh the effort. Guess I am one of those princesses. Over the years I have seen many a woman tell another woman not to put up with something from some man and then when the 2nd woman doesn't the other 1st. woman swoops in and takes that bad man off of their hands. No kidding either.

This is the reality. Like it or not. Nothing new under the sun.

 

[annet]

http://tinyurl.com/2fvd2km
Primping vintage style.

I don't plan on having an ex thank you very much.

The rewards far outweigh the effort. Guess I am one of those princesses. Over the years I have seen many a woman tell another woman not to put up with something from some man and then when the 2nd woman doesn't the other 1st. woman swoops in and takes that bad man off of their hands. No kidding either.

This is the reality. Like it or not. Nothing new under the sun.

i don't know about you, but i've always been brought up with the idea that both partners are equal in a relationship, and that it is important to be comfortable around each other.

i do have an ex, it was a relationship that was doomed from the beginning. we started off as two very shy people who blended in with the background at every occasion. then i went to a different school, moved to the city and suddenly found out that i could look like i wanted to, without being torn to shreds by the people around me. he hated this development (me wearing dresses and looking 'different' so things kind of died. i don't regret this, since i'm now with someone who knows what effort i do (not just for him but for myself too) and appreciates it. we share (almost) everything, he sees me messing around with pins and lipstick, and we chuckle about how silly it looks, but in the end he always sighs at the result and says something like 'you just keep baffling me over and over again'. the same goes for him: he has a mild case of psoriasis and i made it a habit to check his back when we are in the bathroom, to find small patches he might have missed. he has seen me when i had the flu, right after puking. we shared tiny rooms in tiny hostels. he's seen me clip my toenails, i've seen him trim nose hair. and guess what? he still loves me, and i love him. even more so because we feel at ease around each other to just be who we are instead of hiding from each other.

 

[Foofoogal]

Every couple believe me has to do what is right for them in all things. No one (including parents, best friends, etc.) knows what really goes on behind closed doors but those 2 people and God basically.
Of course during sickness and such after 35 years we have seen each other in our best and worse. I am just suggesting
keeping some mystery is a valid thing and taking care of yourself and putting forth ones best is valid also.
I adore him and he loves me. Getting fixed up for him after all these years brings me joy.

 

[Smuterella]

I don't plan on having an ex thank you very much.

The rewards far outweigh the effort. Guess I am one of those princesses. Over the years I have seen many a woman tell another woman not to put up with something from some man and then when the 2nd woman doesn't the other 1st. woman swoops in and takes that bad man off of their hands. No kidding either.

This is the reality. Like it or not. Nothing new under the sun.

I sometimes wonder if you know just how rude and judgemental you sound. Are you suggesting that having an ex, having had a failed relationship, is a bad thing?

If a man lets himself be "taken" by another woman, I personally think that man wasn't much worth having anyway.

Anyway - each to their own and all that.

Back on topic - if it was good enough for women in the 40's to sleep with their curlers in then its good enough for me. I actually know a few guys who find them quite sexy!

 

[annet]

Every couple believe me has to do what is right for them in all things. No one (including parents, best friends, etc.) knows what really goes on behind closed doors but those 2 people and God basically.
Of course during sickness and such after 35 years we have seen each other in our best and worse. I am just suggesting
keeping some mystery is a valid thing and taking care of yourself and putting forth ones best is valid also.
I adore him and he loves me. Getting fixed up for him after all these years brings me joy.

of course mystery has a big part in this... it all depends on what works for everyone. my point was that we see a lot worse of each other than my hair in curlers, so i really don't care about him seeing that. but we do draw a line somewhere, i make sure my legs and armpits are smooth (and i don't shave in front of him) and we'd never use the bathroom when the other one is in the room! i guess we are just really open compared to you and your partner

oh and i feel great dolling up for a night out-even when he sees it happening. he knows what it's for and doesn't mind as long as i don't get out of the house in my robe and curlers!

 

[Foofoogal]

I sometimes wonder if you know just how rude and judgemental you sound. Are you suggesting that having an ex, having had a failed relationship, is a bad thing?
----------------------------------------
I apologize if you took this personally. I am just saying I don't plan on it for myself. You can get as many divorces as you want to.

Bad thing? Only if the person getting the divorce thinks it is?

 

[Foofoogal]

i guess we are just really open compared to you and your partner
--------------------------
Honey actually shaves me at times and has painted my toenails. The topic was curlers. I don't want him to see me put on my makeup or use the restroom or have curlers in my hair. I like to watch him shave but also give him space in the bathroom.
I am a lingerieholic and especially vintage. I am not going to apologize for trying to keep my man. He is worth keeping. If he was not I would not put the effort up.
He is handy.