Do You Ever Get Tired of Compliments?

[Zig2k143]

"howyadoin'?" = hello. Usually it doesn't involve actually telling somebody how you're doing.

-Viola

Yea being a New Yorker living in Pa.... I find myself saying HowUDooing... lots.

 

[Viola]

Perhaps I am conflating your attitude with theirs unfairly. Yours does not seem overtly political. If so, I'm sorry; but even aside from the aesthetic and ideological stance of the radicals in my area, isn't complaining about compliments a bit like looking a gift horse in the mouth? Or refusing the horse altogether? No offense, but unless these are really, really annoying compliments, I would say that one is being rather ungracious to find them annoying. Some people don't receive any.

"You look nice today" =/= "Oh yeah! Mama knows how to walk!"

I'm sure he meant well, but not all compliments are very complimentary. :eusa_doh:

-Viola

 

[scotrace]

"you're so lucky with that oily skin. You'll never wrinkle."

 

[Diamondback]

Sincere compliments, I'm a little awkward with--I really believe that the only difference between what I've done in life and anybody else's abilities is that I've had time and motivation they haven't. Sarcasm doesn't bug me, but the one thing I cannot and will not suffer is brown-nosing, neither those who give it nor those who expect it.

 

[Joie DeVive]

Yes and no on this one.

I'm a bit like Amy Jeanne. I grew up with a grandmother whose idea of expressing love is telling me exactly what is wrong with me so I can fix it. I can handle constructive criticism, but when the best you get from Grandma is: "You'd be pretty if you'd just cut your hair..." it gets a little tricky. I honestly spent years believing I was ugly. So, now that I have come to the realization that I'm not, I adore compliments.

However, compliments can be given in such a way that they aren't really compliments. If given in an overly sexual manner, it can be more objectifying, gross and even scary, than flattering.
I've also found that the exact same compliment given on a daily basis can begin to sound false over time, especially if it is unspecific. Don't just tell your guy/gal "you look nice". Tell him/her what you like specifically. Otherwise it can sound more like obligation than appreciation, but maybe that's just my hang-up... lol

 

[Paisley]

Where I live, many women think it is SEXIST, backwards, and monstrous to comment on a woman's appearance. Result: a grotesquely asexual society and seeks to eliminate gender difference: possibly worse, which denigrates and rejects visual pleasure altogether; and perhaps even worse than that, one in which there can be no carefree banter between the sexes, but all must grimly watch their words lest some oversensitive person be offended.

Perhaps I am conflating your attitude with theirs unfairly. Yours does not seem overtly political. If so, I'm sorry; but even aside from the aesthetic and ideological stance of the radicals in my area, isn't complaining about compliments a bit like looking a gift horse in the mouth? Or refusing the horse altogether? No offense, but unless these are really, really annoying compliments, I would say that one is being rather ungracious to find them annoying. Some people don't receive any.

Some people are deformed or, much much more often, simply ugly plus have no sense of style. They would love to get a compliment; the only one they will get will be on their posture or their stenography or something.
There but for the grace of the higher ones go I, and you.
I'm sorry if that sounded jerky ... I guess I feel strongly about beauty and aesthetics and visual pleasure and about the importance of the right to flirt (tastefully) and banter (gently) with a wide variety of people.

There's a saxophone player where I go dancing who tells me, every time he sees me, that I have the best looking legs in the place. I like this compliment. He's sincere, and he isn't trying to pick me up.

It's compliments that are overwrought, dramatic, soliciting something in return (like fishing for a compliment or your good will), or are even slight put-downs (aren't you a cute little thing!) that I can do without. Not every gift horse is worth its keep.

And I do know something about being considered ugly. Can't someone who isn't a great work of nature appreciate a compliment on their intelligence, kindness, efficiency, patience, trustworthiness, etc.?

Actually, I do appreciate most compliments, even if they're a little off the mark. Somebody just got on my nerves today...and I've found out I'm not the only one who finds her annoying even though she means well.

 

[Dr Doran]

There's a saxophone player where I go dancing who tells me, every time he sees me, that I have the best looking legs in the place. I like this compliment. He's sincere, and he isn't trying to pick me up.

It's compliments that are overwrought, dramatic, soliciting something in return (like fishing for a compliment or your good will), or are even slight put-downs (aren't you a cute little thing!) that I can do without. Not every gift horse is worth its keep.

And I do know something about being considered ugly. Can't someone who isn't a great work of nature appreciate a compliment on their intelligence, kindness, efficiency, patience, trustworthiness, etc.?

Actually, I do appreciate most compliments, even if they're a little off the mark. Somebody just got on my nerves today...and I've found out I'm not the only one who finds her annoying even though she means well.

Good points, good points, and I didn't mean to sound like Dear Abby on my above post (but did, a little). I suppose that dumb compliments are kind of annoying but clever bantering ones are cool. I read a British pamphlet on how to flirt once, and one of the points that I liked the most was that flirting is supposed to
1. make the other person feel good, and
2. be playful and sweet.
If the flirt does not accomplish #1, s/he is a bit of a loser.
I still think it's best to err on the side of caution and just say "thank you."

Most of the time.

 

[CharlieH.]

I like compliments as long as they're sincere, and unbiased (that is, not coming from relatives). I really hate it when someone praises me just to stay on my good side.

And here's a quirk- sometimes I get a rather awkward feeling on the extremely rare occasions when someone compliments me on my attire. Whenever someone says "Nice tie" or "I like your shoes" I can't help thinking that the comment wasn't directed at me, but at the item in question. I often meet these by simply saying that if they could talk, they'd say thanks.

As for the unwanted attentions department, I must confess to being guilty of that one... I'm sincere in my compliments, though sometimes I get the feeling of being a little too insistent. (Or maybe it's just my imagination, since I'm not particularly talkative)

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Tired of compliments!?

Yes, I am so sick and tired of compliments all the time! It's all I hear all day long,....day after day. Nothing but compliments!
I wish someone would sincerely insult me!
Anyone?

 

[Diamondback]

Yes, I am so sick and tired of compliments all the time! It's all I hear all day long,....day after day. Nothing but compliments!
I wish someone would sincerely insult me!
Anyone?

As you wish, ya mangy little furball! lol

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

As you wish, ya mangy little furball! lol

Thank you! Thank you so much!

 

[Diamondback]

Thank you! Thank you so much!

I aim to please... lol

 

[K.D. Lightner]

Dpends on who is doing the complimenting and the reason.

I worked in an office where we had a gal who constantly complimented me (and others, I think). If you said thank you, then she wanted a hug. I liked hugging her as much as I would a puff adder. I loathe mandatory affection.

I got to a point where she would say something "nice" to me and I would scowl and walk away.

If I discern that someone is trying to flatter me to use me in some way, I dislike very much being complimented by that person.

karol

 

[Lady Day]

Often times, compliments make me too self-conscious.

Example: I have these spectator shoes. Brown/white, still a little bright, and I very rarely have the guts to wear them. When I do wear them, I get at least a compliment an hour. I like your shoes. Nice shoes. Or a comment like, are those wingtips? or something of the like. This makes me really aware that I am wearing shoes that are unusual and stand out and that makes me uncomfortable.

It was/is the same thing with fedoras, but I've gotten over that. Hah. Nothing else about me warrants compliment, though, so I guess I am lucky.

Yeah I felt this way too. I am so use to being in the background that getting complimented made me just recoil. Then I started saying thanks and just got over it. I dont look for compliments, but I always receive them with eye contact and a thanks.

LD

 

[Dr Doran]

I worked in an office where we had a gal who constantly complimented me (and others, I think). If you said thank you, then she wanted a hug.

Ick Ick Ick. Note objective #1 in my last post [post 27], namely, "make the other person feel good" which I should have amended to "and not weird or icky."

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I'm a bit like Amy Jeanne. I grew up with a grandmother whose idea of expressing love is telling me exactly what is wrong with me so I can fix it. I can handle constructive criticism, but when the best you get from Grandma is: "You'd be pretty if you'd just cut your hair..." it gets a little tricky. I honestly spent years believing I was ugly. So, now that I have come to the realization that I'm not, I adore compliments.

That's 100% what my family did to me when I was growing up! I always had a style all my own and their idea of "helping" me overcome this was to say things like "You'd be so much better looking if you did XYZ!" Or my favourite: "You'll NEVER get a boyfriend dressed like that!" I thought I was the ugliest thing on the planet in my pre-teen and teen years Even into my 20s they still treated me like they did when I was 13. They finally left me alone when I met my current husband at age 28.

But, also like you, I know I look good now and have a great style!! After 20some years of my family's nonsense, compliments are a good thing to me now!

A misunderstood child has a charm that a doting mother cannot give her.

That is one of the most amazing things I've ever heard. Thanks!

 

[Zig2k143]

Yes, I am so sick and tired of compliments all the time! It's all I hear all day long,....day after day. Nothing but compliments!
I wish someone would sincerely insult me!
Anyone?

He's so tired.... so tired of being admired.

 

[be_lovely]

Compliments? What are they?

I really never knew a graceful way to take a compliment, except for to smile and say thank you. Being extremely heavy a huge portion of my life, I had insults more than compliments, so now that I have dropped a good 150 lbs, I am starting to get them a little more often. Any advice on how to take them gracefully, without sounding cheezy??? (Zig, I know your opinon... and I love you!!!)

 

[Nashoba]

I love compliments. I'm not terribly used to them and since I really started dressing vintage and doing my hair and looking more put together they're happening way more often. My husband has always been very good about complimenting me but without him here it's awfully nice to have complete strangers picking up the slack.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

I really never knew a graceful way to take a compliment, except for to smile and say thank you. Being extremely heavy a huge portion of my life, I had insults more than compliments, so now that I have dropped a good 150 lbs, I am starting to get them a little more often. Any advice on how to take them gracefully, without sounding cheezy??? (Zig, I know your opinon... and I love you!!!)

You're already doing it.... Just , and say thanks.