Do women hate men's hats?

[Edward]

As a retired US Marine (notice I didn't say former or ex) I have always laughed at the US services (USAF and Army) and their berets. They look stupid unless you are dropping your weapon and running.

I rather enjoy that most military the world over are - so often against their own preferences - obliged to wear a beret. It rather feels to me like the French getting one over on all those tedious bores who think it's funny to perpetuate such inaccurate French military stereotypes.

So you ladies think a man wearing a Trilby aka Snap-Brim style hat looks silly?
And a person has to be French to wear a Beret?
Interesting, but I do hope your point of view does not represent the majority of American women.
I can imagine that women in Europe think differently of these styles, since they are and were more popular here.

The world 'trilby' gets used t mean many different things. I suspect you may be thinking of this:

or perhaps this:

Traditionally, many in the UK would identify those a Trilbies (while folks in the US might call them stingy brim fedoras). Others in the UK insist a Trilby is a narrow-brimmed, soft-crowned had made of wool, usually tweed, thus:

I suspect, however, when the ladies object to 'trilbies' they may be referencing the sort of modern hat that is a similar shape, but churned out cheaply and nastily as disposable fashion, thus:

Which is much like comparing one of Connery-Bond's nicely cut DJs to the sort of modern "Tuxedo jacket" which has notch lapels, two buttons and pocket flaps.

Meanwhile, consider the humble baseball cap, that most American of all headgear. It's very easy to look dopey in a baseball cap because baseball caps as they're made today have a built-in dopiness factor. Their crowns are too high and too stiff in the front, and their visors are too long, causing the wearer to either wear them high up on their heads so there's a lot of empty crown puffing up over the top or to pull them down too low so their eyes vanish into the shadow of the visor, making them look like they have shallow, shrunken craniums. I don't know why modern caps are made this way, but they are.

But they weren't always. A 1930s baseball cap has a shallow, soft crown and a medium-length visor, and were often worn with a sideways tilt that could be quite rakish on the right type of fellow.

Cap tilted just slightly back on the head and worn with just a slight tip to the side. Lookin' sharp there, Cookie. "Always good in the clutch."

Whereas with a blockier, stiffer cap worn pulled down low, well --

Of course, it isn't always just the hat that makes a difference.

Totally agree. I stopped wearing modern baseball caps when I was in my middle teens because I hated how they looked on me (mainly in combination with my glasses); I'm not sure I could have told you at the time the proportions were the issue, though I know I always felt they would be greatly improved if the length of the bill was cut in half. Not worn or owned one since 1992; I think I could come around to it now if I was to buy an original 30s-shape (and properly sized -I also never liked the 'one-size-fits-some' or adjustable-sizing thing, nor did I care for the d-shape cut-out on the latter's rear).

 

[MisterCairo]

As a retired US Marine (notice I didn't say former or ex) I have always laughed at the US services (USAF and Army) and their berets. They look stupid unless you are dropping your weapon and running.

As a serving JAG officer (notice I didn't say former or ex) I have never felt the need to laugh at a fellow soldier's uniform. As for dropping your weapon and running, do you mean like this*:



Now you know what it feels like, perhaps you will be less likely to belittle your fellow, and they are that, soldiers.

*Inserted in no way to belittle American service personnel, quite simply to make a point about throwing stones in glass houses. We have all been there.

 

[sheeplady]

Just as a gentle and friendly reminder, gentlemen are here as guests of the ladies. Mind your manners and all will be well.

 

[scottyrocks]

I don't remember ever getting any sort of negative comments from women about my fedoras, but have gotten many positive ones. I guess that means that women like hats on men, at least if said hat is properly sized and proportioned.

My wife is helpful in this. She'll tell me when she doesn't prefer a particular hat on me. This includes baseball caps, as well as fedoras. But she tends to favor a lower crown than I prefer.

I have tons of ball caps. What I've come back to on a regular basis, is an actual baseball team ball cap, in the style of the '47' series - soft, low crown, as was worn in the GE. I roll the brim, perhaps a bit more severely than many other folks, and then sometimes finish it off with a sharp bend right at the top of the bill.

My favorite at the moment is my St Louis Cardinals cap, not because I like the Cardinals, but because, overall, it has the best shape of any of my caps. Yes, even identical cotton baseball caps right off the same rack, look different on the head.

 

[Big J]

I sympathize with Edward. I only started wearing hats because I couldn't be bothered to struggle with an umbrella against the wind.
Now I'm balding, I need them for warmth and UV protection.

Whilst I've never met a woman who has openly disliked my hats, I too have met more than a few who think my handmade to order beaver Penmans fedoras are 'fancy dress' and have become quite vicious when I've declined to let them put it on and do something stupid in it.

I think they expect it to be the same kind of mass produced cheap cr8p everyone else they know wears, and not a $500 hat.

And this shocks me in another, deeper way. People simply don't understand quality when they see it. I'm not being pretentious, I mean, how can they look at my silk lined, leather headbanded, beaver fedora, and not notice that it's qualitatively better (and therefore more expensive) than a polyester hat with a foam headband and 'one size fits all' written on a tag inside?
It's a mind-blowing lack of self awareness to me. And this is my major gripe, whether its staff who want to hang my leather jackets on thin plastic hangers, or put my nylon jacket next to the heater 'to warm it', or waiters who think that stepping on my shoes and scuffing the leather because they are careless oafs can me fixed with a platitude of 'I'm sorry', it's the main determiner of when I wear 'nice' clothes: the chance of being surrounded by idiots.
Now I understand why Roman aristocracy got themselves carried around in those little palanquins; to separate themselves from the savages that made up the masses.

Berets look great on Golden Era glamor girls, but I'm not sure of their utility as military headwear. I suspect, that like court wigs worn by barristers and judges in the UK, military berets will endure as a symbol long after the public stops wearing them. I can't imagine the US Special Forces giving up the green beret anymore than I can imagine U.K. paratroopers giving up their maroon ones. It has too much symbolic power.

I always thought the FFL's Kepi Blanc was the most stylish military hat.

 

[scottyrocks]

I sympathize with Edward. I only started wearing hats because I couldn't be bothered to struggle with an umbrella against the wind.
Now I'm balding, I need them for warmth and UV protection.

Whilst I've never met a woman who has openly disliked my hats, I too have met more than a few who think my handmade to order beaver Penmans fedoras are 'fancy dress' and have become quite vicious when I've declined to let them put it on and do something stupid in it.

I think they expect it to be the same kind of mass produced cheap cr8p everyone else they know wears, and not a $500 hat.

And this shocks me in another, deeper way. People simply don't understand quality when they see it. I'm not being pretentious, I mean, how can they look at my silk lined, leather headbanded, beaver fedora, and not notice that it's qualitatively better (and therefore more expensive) than a polyester hat with a foam headband and 'one size fits all' written on a tag inside?
It's a mind-blowing lack of self awareness to me. And this is my major gripe, whether its staff who want to hang my leather jackets on thin plastic hangers, or put my nylon jacket next to the heater 'to warm it', or waiters who think that stepping on my shoes and scuffing the leather because they are careless oafs can me fixed with a platitude of 'I'm sorry', it's the main determiner of when I wear 'nice' clothes: the chance of being surrounded by idiots.
Now I understand why Roman aristocracy got themselves carried around in those little palanquins; to separate themselves from the savages that made up the masses.

Berets look great on Golden Era glamor girls, but I'm not sure of their utility as military headwear. I suspect, that like court wigs worn by barristers and judges in the UK, military berets will endure as a symbol long after the public stops wearing them. I can't imagine the US Special Forces giving up the green beret anymore than I can imagine U.K. paratroopers giving up their maroon ones. It has too much symbolic power.

I always thought the FFL's Kepi Blanc was the most stylish military hat.

As with anything else, there are those who get it, and those (most) who don't.

You see it in every facet of life. Even something as simple as supermarket shopping, for instance. Inevitably, there are the many people who just leave their cart in a spot where there is no place to pass while they ponder which brand and type of jar of pickles to purchase.

And that's something simple. How can anyone expect such a person to be able to tell the difference between fine quality menswear and drek?

Okay, I think I'll turn tongue-in-cheek mode off now. But basically, people are all different. Many (most?) couldn't tell the difference between an Optimo and a Walmart special but can tell you, in-depth, all about the latest episode of Dr. Pimple Popper (okay, so I put the tongue back in the cheek there again - haha).

 

[TheOldFashioned]

As with anything else, there are those who get it, and those (most) who don't.

You see it in every facet of life. Even something as simple as supermarket shopping, for instance. Inevitably, there are the many people who just leave their cart in a spot where there is no place to pass while they ponder which brand and type of jar of pickles to purchase.

I like to make the comment, "IIIIII'm special" as I move their cart out of the middle of the aisle after waiting for a brief period of time. It leaves me dumbfounded that people can be so oblivious to their surroundings, wrapped up in their own self indulgence with no thought of common decency for others.

 

[LizzieMaine]

We used to have a customer here who was real old money -- and you could tell the quality of his clothing specifically by how banged-up it was. He'd come in wearing a tweed sport coat he'd probably bought in Harvard Square in 1955, and you could see the fuzziness of it, and how the patches on the elbows had been carefully replaced, and you knew it wasn't some chintzy disposocoat from Men's Wearhouse. Same with his shoes, which were probably older than I am, but which had likely been custom-made and well-maintained over the decades. In such social circles as he traveled in, it was this kind of lived-in patina that was the real sign of quality. You spend enough time dealing with these old-line Northeastern WASPy people and it's very easy to spot.

I never saw him wear any kind of a hat, though. Men of his generation and social class never wore hats on the street. "It just isn't done, you know."

 

[Zombie_61]

I don't remember ever getting any sort of negative comments from women about my fedoras, but have gotten many positive ones. I guess that means that women like hats on men, at least if said hat is properly sized and proportioned...

I'd have to say this is true for me as well. The women in my circle of family and friends seemed sincere when they've complimented my hats, as have strangers who almost always add a comment about how their father/grandfather wore hats like mine. Also like your experience, the closest I've come to negative comments have come from my wife who has made it clear there are a couple of hats in my collection that she would prefer I not wear when I'm with her in public.

I like to make the comment, "IIIIII'm special" as I move their cart out of the middle of the aisle after waiting for a brief period of time. It leaves me dumbfounded that people can be so oblivious to their surroundings, wrapped up in their own self indulgence with no thought of common decency for others.

Unfortunately, "common decency", "common courtesy", and "common sense" aren't so common these days.

 

[scottyrocks]

Unfortunately, "common decency", "common courtesy", and "common sense" aren't so common these days.

They weren't all that common 'back then,' either. It's just that we didn't have social media to amplify it the way we do now.

 

[scottyrocks]

I like to make the comment, "IIIIII'm special" as I move their cart out of the middle of the aisle after waiting for a brief period of time. It leaves me dumbfounded that people can be so oblivious to their surroundings, wrapped up in their own self indulgence with no thought of common decency for others.

And then, on top of that, there have been occasions when I'll move said cart to get by, and you should see the looks I've gotten, like I touched them on their privates.

I've grown so weary of it that now, if there is enough room, I'll slide my cart through without stopping even if it results in a road-traffic-like sideswipe, and then keep going. For me, food shop = in and out with as few delays as possible. I don't have all day to dawdle in front of the sweet gherkins in aisle 5.

 

[ShanghaiJack]

 

[scottyrocks]

I think I've seen that film. If it's the one I'm thinking of, whoooof!

 

[Steinbockhase]

I think I've seen that film. If it's the one I'm thinking of, whoooof!

Jane March in "The Lover" from 1992, mostly remembered for the sex scenes with her as teenager.

 

[Edward]

Berets look great on Golden Era glamor girls, but I'm not sure of their utility as military headwear. I suspect, that like court wigs worn by barristers and judges in the UK, military berets will endure as a symbol long after the public stops wearing them. I can't imagine the US Special Forces giving up the green beret anymore than I can imagine U.K. paratroopers giving up their maroon ones. It has too much symbolic power.

Absolutely. For the military guys who earnm their green beret or whatever it is, that's their colours, and they pride themselves in them. (A lot of that military stuff isn't all that different from how MCs treat their colours.... part of the culture the big / older clubs inherited from their founder members, many of whom who had served inthe forces, I suspect.) I don't think Berets are gonig to disappear any time soon, though, as far as civilans are concerned. While primarily a female wardrobe thing here in the UK, in the Basque region in the South of France they are still very commonly worn on a daily basis - you see all sorts of folks out in them, and they're not just relegated to formal and/or 'national dress' occasions the way, say, a kilt often is.

We used to have a customer here who was real old money -- and you could tell the quality of his clothing specifically by how banged-up it was. He'd come in wearing a tweed sport coat he'd probably bought in Harvard Square in 1955, and you could see the fuzziness of it, and how the patches on the elbows had been carefully replaced, and you knew it wasn't some chintzy disposocoat from Men's Wearhouse. Same with his shoes, which were probably older than I am, but which had likely been custom-made and well-maintained over the decades. In such social circles as he traveled in, it was this kind of lived-in patina that was the real sign of quality. You spend enough time dealing with these old-line Northeastern WASPy people and it's very easy to spot.

I never saw him wear any kind of a hat, though. Men of his generation and social class never wore hats on the street. "It just isn't done, you know."

Sounds very much like the Old Money types here in England; unsurprisingly, of course.

Also like your experience, the closest I've come to negative comments have come from my wife who has made it clear there are a couple of hats in my collection that she would prefer I not wear when I'm with her in public.

I am blessed that while Herself is fairly open about what she does and doesn't like, she has never once refused to be seen with me out wearing something she's not keen on. I don't think the hats have ever come into it - she's even a fan of the Ushankas. I might be pushing it, though, if I ever got hold of one of those ELC B5 flying helmets I fancy, in particular if I were to wear it with the B3 or the Irvin...

 

[The Jackal]

My recent return to wearing a fedora was strictly at the encouragement of a lady friend of mine who's opinion I hold in very high regard. She has yet to see me in my recently purchased hats, but her preexisting approval meant the world to me.

I don't remember my father ever wearing anything more than a baseball cap growing up, and even that was very rare. Although I do remember seeing an old picture of him wearing a flatcap of some sort from the days when he was either riding his motorcycle or he just wasn't going anywhere.

As for me, having left active duty in the Marines more than 10 years ago, I still feel fairly odd not having something on my head when I walk outside.

 

[scottyrocks]

Jane March in "The Lover" from 1992, mostly remembered for the sex scenes with her as teenager.

Yep, that's the one.

 

[Zombie_61]

...I am blessed that while Herself is fairly open about what she does and doesn't like, she has never once refused to be seen with me out wearing something she's not keen on...

One of the things I truly appreciate about our relationship is that my wife and I have been completely open and honest with each other about such things almost from day one, knowing no one's feelings will be harmed; after all, we're merely sharing our opinons. She has also never refused to be seen with me, but she has made her preferences known and left it to me to make the appropriate decisions. I, of course, occasionally make the wrong decision deliberately just to get a rise out of her.

 

[Big J]

Jane March is a VERY bad schoolgirl in that film. For some reason, it's on almost every week on Japanese TV. Nice hat though.

 

[Big J]

@LizzieMaine, I'm afraid you're going to have to educate me; when did men of his social class and generation actually wear hats then?