Death

[Dixon Cannon]

I always remember the words of John Lennon in an interview before his murder. When asked about death, he said he wanted to live to a ripe old age, but with Yoko only. He continued, "I'm not afraid of death - I don't know what it will feel like at the moment, but it's like getting out of one car and getting into another."

I've always thought of death as the other side of birth. It's a natural part of this thing called Life. If you could have imagined your birth and the trauma of that experience, it would have seemed incredibly frightening. Think about that process. Death must be quite similar, except that we all have a preconceived notion of what it will be like - horrible!

We can't escape death. It is part of the plan. I like to think of it as a transition, like making a connection at a busy airport. Transitioning from one vehicle to another - from level of consciousness to the next.

Namaste,
Dixon Cannon

p.s. Listen to George Harrison song "Art Of Dying" sometime. Very interesting.

 

[Lady Day]

Hondo,

I sympathize with what you are going through. I too recently lost a long time childhood friend, whom I grew up with. He was one of my brother's best friends, and just a few weeks ago, at the age of 35, he passed in his sleep. His heart just stopped. It was shocking to the entire neighborhood. Part of you does not know how to process the loss of someone your age, and part of you does, if you have lost someone before.

Enters cancer.
My mother died of breast cancer two years ago this May. This was also my first death. That was an experience. There is nothing like seeing a person you love slowly deteriorate due to this disease. For two years she fought it, had surgeries and the like, then 5 weeks before she died, my family called me and told me I should come home to be with her. We had ten days of arguing , talking and laughing, and that gave us both peace. But I will never forget her eyes when I said good bye to leave to go back to California. I swear they said, "This is the last time I will see my daughter."

I guess I was fortunate, I was able to spend that time with her. Im like my mother, we are practical women, and we knew she was not going to get better. But we also knew death is a part of life, and it is not as shocking as we seem to make it out. The pain can be healing, and is so at times. I us what my mother taught me everyday in my life, and altho I wish I could just have one more talk with her, I know she is with me, in a better place, and happy for me.

LD

 

[Paisley]

Go Down, Death

Some people find solace in writing letters of condolence to family members (or responding to the letters).

I'm not a lover of poetry, but this one, I think, has stood the test of time:

Go Down, Death
by James Weldon Johnson


(A Funeral Sermon)


Weep not, weep not,
She is not dead;
She's resting in the bosom of Jesus.
Heart-broken husband--weep no more;
Grief-stricken son--weep no more;
Left-lonesome daughter --weep no more;
She only just gone home.

Day before yesterday morning,
God was looking down from his great, high heaven,
Looking down on all his children,
And his eye fell on Sister Caroline,
Tossing on her bed of pain.
And God's big heart was touched with pity,
With the everlasting pity.

And God sat back on his throne,
And he commanded that tall, bright angel standing at his right hand:
Call me Death!
And that tall, bright angel cried in a voice
That broke like a clap of thunder:
Call Death!--Call Death!
And the echo sounded down the streets of heaven
Till it reached away back to that shadowy place,
Where Death waits with his pale, white horses.

And Death heard the summons,
And he leaped on his fastest horse,
Pale as a sheet in the moonlight.
Up the golden street Death galloped,
And the hooves of his horses struck fire from the gold,
But they didn't make no sound.
Up Death rode to the Great White Throne,
And waited for God's command.

And God said: Go down, Death, go down,
Go down to Savannah, Georgia,
Down in Yamacraw,
And find Sister Caroline.
She's borne the burden and heat of the day,
She's labored long in my vineyard,
And she's tired--
She's weary--
Go down, Death, and bring her to me.

And Death didn't say a word,
But he loosed the reins on his pale, white horse,
And he clamped the spurs to his bloodless sides,
And out and down he rode,
Through heaven's pearly gates,
Past suns and moons and stars;
on Death rode,
Leaving the lightning's flash behind;
Straight down he came.

While we were watching round her bed,
She turned her eyes and looked away,
She saw what we couldn't see;
She saw Old Death. She saw Old Death
Coming like a falling star.
But Death didn't frighten Sister Caroline;
He looked to her like a welcome friend.
And she whispered to us: I'm going home,
And she smiled and closed her eyes.

And Death took her up like a baby,
And she lay in his icy arms,
But she didn't feel no chill.
And death began to ride again--
Up beyond the evening star,
Into the glittering light of glory,
On to the Great White Throne.
And there he laid Sister Caroline
On the loving breast of Jesus.

And Jesus took his own hand and wiped away her tears,
And he smoothed the furrows from her face,
And the angels sang a little song,
And Jesus rocked her in his arms,
And kept a-saying: Take your rest,
Take your rest.

Weep not--weep not,
She is not dead;
She's resting in the bosom of Jesus.

From God's Trombones by James Weldon Johnson. Copyright © 1927 The Viking Press, Inc., renewed 1955 by Grace Nail Johnson. Used by permission of Viking Penguin, a division of Penguin Books USA Inc.

 

[warbird]

Hondo, I pray for you for strength. I can sympathize more than I would wish to be able. My grandmother is dying now. I have been to see her a couple of times this week in the hospital. she has a chance, but it grows smaller each day. She is 94 and has a had a good,long life. I had my maternal to her 104th year thankfully and she left me stories of tremendous adventures all over the world and her 30 years in Africa.

Being that my grandmother was quite ill after gall bladder surgery a couple of years ago, I thought i would handle any terrible news quite well. But I haven't. And in thinking it has occurred to me it isn't just my grandmother for which I suffer. She is the last of my old family. We were large and close, I had 18 great uncles and a grandfather who were all career military men. I had 5 doting great aunts. They all taught their history and their ways, which is a blessing I can impart to my children. My uncles left me all their old ties and fedoras. My aunts dressed me in their way, the old way as they called it. They are all gone now, except my grandmother, who I have always cherished.

I dread the day she passes as I know all of those family connections and their loss will come back on me. If there is indeed a heaven it is certainly m own selfishness to desire them to stay here and not leave. There is inner turmoil in all of us during these times.

I have had several friends dies already. It is a part of life which I suppose we become accustomed. But I never have been easy with it and doubt I ever will.

Hondo I didn't mean to hijack your post with my own issues, it is not my intention. And I doubt my experience in any way makes you feel better, it doesn't make me feel better knowing people have been throught this before or that I have myself in the past been through it, but I have said it none the less.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Hondo, I pray for you for strength. I can sympathize more than I would wish to be able. My grandmother is dying now. I have been to see her a couple of times this week in the hospital. she has a chance, but it grows smaller each day. She is 94 and has a had a good,long life. I had my maternal to her 104th year thankfully and she left me stories of tremendous adventures all over the world and her 30 years in Africa.

Being that my grandmother was quite ill after gall bladder surgery a couple of years ago, I thought i would handle any terrible news quite well. But I haven't. And in thinking it has occurred to me it isn't just my grandmother for which I suffer. She is the last of my old family. We were large and close, I had 18 great uncles and a grandfather who were all career military men. I had 5 doting great aunts. They all taught their history and their ways, which is a blessing I can impart to my children. My uncles left me all their old ties and fedoras. My aunts dressed me in their way, the old way as they called it. They are all gone now, except my grandmother, who I have always cherished.

I dread the day she passes as I know all of those family connections and their loss will come back on me. If there is indeed a heaven it is certainly m own selfishness to desire them to stay here and not leave. There is inner turmoil in all of us during these times.

I have had several friends dies already. It is a part of life which I suppose we become accustomed. But I never have been easy with it and doubt I ever will.

Hondo I didn't mean to hijack your post with my own issues, it is not my intention. And I doubt my experience in any way makes you feel better, it doesn't make me feel better knowing people have been throught this before or that I have myself in the past been through it, but I have said it none the less.

I'm sorry about your grandmother. I was very close with mine and miss her very much. I do feel good knowing I was with her in the hospital during her final days. You will have that comfort.

 

[Hondo]

I take no offense (take it to the next level, or hijack it) I’m just venting, get things off my mind, your thoughts shared here whatever the experience regarding death is welcomed.
Death seems to be inching closer; my own father in his protective way did not share his grieving of my late grandmother & grandfather who I was close with, (it’s a long story) I have to accept it, not argue, its not fair but it makes it just makes it tougher to deal with when you lose close friends, I regarded them as my brother & sisters, comrades in arms through the years, then I also dread the day my own mother and father leave this earth, so far they are a healthy elderly couple,
I know God could take them at any time, it makes losing these friends all the more difficult, this past week has griped my thoughts, a real shocker or awaking, but my grief here is not alone, I sympathize with all of you, the threads here make my eyes water. Death comes in many forms, be it cancer, an accident or by natural cause. Were all just water skin an bones, then dust and bones. Death takes no holidays, Live and let live.
I thank you all.

 

[warbird]

Sometimes just writing it or talking about it makes one feel better. Death certainly does not discriminate, it cares not your status in life. The one thing death should not do is make walking dead of the still living. I've seen it happen as have some others through their shared stories here. I had a friend die a couple of years ago suddenly at 40. His wife is still inconsolable. She has allowed their business to nearly die and she is drinking herself into oblivion. She has two young sons who already lost their dad and now they are losing their mom. His death was very sad, but what she may do to those boys in the long run if she continues down this path would be a travesty.

Our reactions are different I suppose depending also on the circumstances. The young dying is hard to understand. I have also noticed near relief of caregivers to long time suffering family members. Things like Alzheimers or terminal cancer certainly can drain the caregiver to near death themselves.

 

[olive bleu]

As someone who lost a first-born child(1 year old), a much loved Father, and a dear Grandfather in a one year time period...the pain, truthfully, never really goes away, you just learn how to live with it.

I can say that,in time, that terrible heart wrenching pain does mellow and instead you will feel the bittersweet ache of missing someone that you had the joy of sharing part of your journey with.But oh so glad that you had that privilege for even a little bit.

 

[dhermann1]

I am more and more impressed by the calibre of people in the FL. Hondo, I am very sorry for your loss. Likewise to all the other people who have mentioned similar losses here. There have been some wonderful comments in this thread, I hope a lot of people have been able to read them and derive something worthwhile from them.