Dealing with rude people

[PrettySquareGal]

Since you're people of refinement and class, I was wondering how you deal with rude people you do not know, but make their vulgar ways known to you. Some examples are people who:

Cough or sneeze in your direction without covering their nose or mouth.

Violate your personal space while waiting in line.

For the ladies, men who ogle. Not the flattering kind.

Cut in front of you while waiting in line.

Don't look where they are walking and almost crash, or do crash, into you.

Ignore a crosswalk while you attempt to make your way.

There are many others. My reactions vary, depending on what kind of day I am having. Generally I am adept at giving a scorning look that speaks volumes. I am curious how YOU handle these situations.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

One other item: It really bothers me when I am at a restaurant that is supposedly upscale, and the server and or host addresses me and my husband as "you guys."

 

[herringbonekid]

people who don't care about the personal space of others, who think they have the right to intimidate others in a public place are unlikely to listen to reason if their behavior is pointed out to them. in fact they are more likely to become even more abusive. i avoid confrontations.

 

[photobyalan]

For the ladies, men who ogle. Not the flattering kind.

I should think that would depend largely on who is doing the ogling...

For the most part, I let most faux pas slide without public comment. I simply revel in my own sense of self-satisfaction. There are times, however, when I can't help myself.

If someone cuts in front of me in a queue, I will generally give them a firm and clearly audible "Excuse me, I was here first," while simply stepping in front of them.

For people who violate my personal space in line, they just get it back in spades. When I start leaning against them, they ususally back off. Warning, PSG, you should NOT try this with men (unless, of course, they fit into the flattering ogle category, in which case you may not mind them violating your personal space).

Again, my response in most situations depends a lot on who is doing the offending. Suffice it to say that if the person who almost bumps into me has a swastika tattooed on his forehead, I'm probably not going to say anything!

 

[Naama]

Generally I am adept at giving a scorning look that speaks volumes. I am curious how YOU handle these situations.

When I'm having a bad day, I usually do the same. Especially if people are starring like idiots at me But I usually don't say anything, I also prefer to stay out of confrontations.....

Naama

 

[flat-top]

slightly off topic, but..

I was in a Marshalls store yesterday morning, and a "gentleman" who's place was skipped in line started BELLOWING, I mean screaming at the top of his lungs over this, umm, atrocity. This kind of volume should be reserved for, I don't know, getting robbed, witnessing a murder, NOT for losing your place in line. While he was screaming over his injustice, he added "I have a heart condition, I don't need this!" And oh, he was screaming at a young pregnant girl. Now, I work in retail, and I got a knot in my stomach because I deal with these types every day, those who feel "entitled".
I was actually on my way to work, so I opted to not say anything to this man, since I wasn't sure what kind of melee it might have turned into.
When I left the store however, I was happy to see a couple of fellows were waiting outside for a word with him..............

 

[LizzieMaine]

I tend to try and maintain decorum in difficult situations -- if someone cuts me in line, I'll give them a smile and say "I'm sorry, but the line starts back there," or something like that. But I say it loud enough that the other folks in line can hear and this usually embarasses the rudenik enough that he or she slinks shamedfacedly back to the rear.

My pet peeve is able-bodied youngsters who refuse to offer their seats on the bus or the subway to someone who's clearly having problems -- elderly people with canes, pregnant women, people who've recently had surgery, folks like that. Having been the victim of such inconsiderateness, when I see it happening, I have to admit that I fantasize about snatching the iPod buds from the ears of the ill-bred little punks and kicking them to the floor of the car while whacking them sharp blows with my purse or umbrella. But fortunately, I get to the city so rarely that I've been able to restrain myself....

 

[KAT]

i guess that cutting in line is a german thing:whistling (Of course that is a generalization, there are many polite Germans)

but “Rudeness is in the eye of the beholder”. You have rude people everywhere

But please dont be afraid . Come , travel and visit our beautiful country

 

[flat-top]

Well, let me clarify that the cashier was the one who called up the person behind the screaming man accidentally. So this @*$# was yelling at the cashier. He wanted to call the police for "being denied my place in line"!!!
I wish he had, so they could have hauled HIM off instead!

 

[G. Fink-Nottle]

My pet peeve is able-bodied youngsters who refuse to offer their seats on the bus or the subway to someone who's clearly having problems -- elderly people with canes, pregnant women, people who've recently had surgery, folks like that.

I would amend that to include all able-bodied adult males. I'd call them men but they certainly are not worthy of that category.

When someone cuts in front of me, I tend to just ignore them. If their lives are so small that this is how they derive a pathetic bit of satisfaction, let them. They are to be pitied.

My biggest peeve is rudeness on airplanes. This pertains to people who talk loudly, don't control their children, ignore the directions of the cabin crew and insist on carrying on-board luggage the size of small refridgerators.

 

[KAT]

My biggest peeve is rudeness on airplanes. This pertains to people who talk loudly, don't control their children, ignore the directions of the cabin crew and insist on carrying on-board luggage the size of small refridgerators.

My friend was on the plane from D?ºsseldorf to Berlin! The guy in front of her farted every ten minutes!:rage: Good it takes just an hour to get there and even better I stayed home lollol lol

 

[artdecodame]

My biggest peeve is rudeness on airplanes. This pertains to people who talk loudly, don't control their children, ignore the directions of the cabin crew and insist on carrying on-board luggage the size of small refridgerators.

Ugh, me, too! When it's a very long flight, such as an overseas one, it's especially irritating. Last year there were annoying/sick children on my plane and I'm positive that is where I caught my cold I started having symptoms of a few days later.

 

[artdecodame]

i guess that cutting in line is a german thing:whistling (Of course that is a generalization, there are many polite Germans)

but “Rudeness is in the eye of the beholder”. You have rude people everywhere

But please dont be afraid . Come , travel and visit our beautiful country

Heehee! I love Germany terribly.

 

[Johnnysan]

My biggest peeve is rudeness on airplanes. This pertains to people who talk loudly, don't control their children, ignore the directions of the cabin crew and insist on carrying on-board luggage the size of small refridgerators.

No matter what airline I fly, I always manage to sit directly behind the one idiot on the plane who wants to go into full recline mode and rest his/her headrest in my lap for the duration of the flight. Being rather bulky, the last thing I need is something to make me feel MORE cramped on a plane!

Lucky, I am also blessed with long limbs and have found that by pressing my knees firmly into the soft cushion of the offenders seat back, I can do a real number on their kidneys. It usually takes about ten minutes or so for them to get the message.

As I've aged, I come to accept that most folks must have been in the corner of the kindergarten class eating their paste while the rest of us were getting the "play nice" lesson. Sometimes a little remedial tutoring is necessary.

 

[KAT]

Heehee! I love Germany terribly.

We dont wanna get into the detail lol

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

But what about dealing with abrasive people.

Me: Hey, it was interesting to meet all the people you talk about.
Abrasive Person: You didn't really meet them but you can think that if you want to.

I don't get that. Its totally rude.

 

[Story]

It helps to have a shaved head...

An increasingly larger subsect of the population believes that the world revolves around them and will be unlikely to change their behavior no matter what you do, so the situations become matters of what amuses you.

Caveat - it's still technically illegal to use a steel hankerchief on fools (anyone remember POLITENESS MAN ? http://www.nationalreview.com/derbyshire/derbyshire040802.asp )

1. Holding open a door for someone - usually women - and they pass through without saying "Thank You". I wait until they're just passing me and say "You're welcome" in their ear.

2. Failing to assist someone - the UPS dude was struggling at a doorway with his cart and boxes, but the long-haired teenaged spawn of wealth just stood and watched. He then attempted to enter while I was holding the door for the UPS guy, but found it impossible to get around me. I took my time.

3. When talking to someone, a third person comes up and interrupts without so much as an "excuse me". I've become accustomed to addressing the first person with "I'm not done yet" and to the second, "you can wait" with a honey-covered smile.

4. Human lemmings attempting to enter an elevator as soon as it's doors open and before those who've getting off have moved. "Step back, please" usually works for me.

Interestingly enough, the rudest people are usually the ones that look like they should know better and conversely, I've had the most delightful responses and exchanges with the hoi polloi.

As always, your mileage may vary. [huh]


A sample of PolitenessMan
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alberto1138/50360557/

 

[PrettySquareGal]

But what about dealing with abrasive people.

Me: Hey, it was interesting to meet all the people you talk about.
Abrasive Person: You didn't really meet them but you can think that if you want to.

I don't get that. Its totally rude.

I see a difference between dealing with strangers in public as opposed to acquaintances or friends. I would say, in response to the AP, "You're right! I can think that. I love living in a free country." I'd then smile, and move on and if possible, away from AP.

 

[scotrace]

i guess that cutting in line is a german thing

Germans do not wait in line. Whether in Berlin or Disney World.
They have evolved the ability to enter a bus six abreast!

 

[scotrace]

Pee in their shoe.

I usually ignore all but the rudest scenarios. The rudest people on earth these days are teenaged girls. What can you do? Hit them? Correct them? They'd reappear with an angry father or knuckle-dragging boyfriend in three minutes. *shrug* "my girlfriend sez you was comin' on to her, old dude."

My peeve is people who aren't courteous to people who are there to help you. Wait staff in restaraunts, clerks in retail, librarians, secretaries, gatekeepers, etc. Bullying or being high-handed or a smartypants gets you nowhere. In fact, being a jackass with any of them will get you poor service, and you'll likely go home without what you're looking for, or at best, a poor substitute. It's a self-punishing thing.