Dating for Fedora Loungers?

[Diamondback]

Strategy? Simple: be the Last Man on Earth--it could take quite a while, and even then it might not work, in which case you'll have lost everything, but I'm sure we all have our moments where it seems like it'd be the only thing that might get results.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

You better hope that the Last Woman on Earth isn't your sister.


.

 

[Diamondback]

lol Good thing that the closest thing to a sibling I have is the split-personality, then, isn't it?

Thanks for the laugh, Marc, I needed that.

 

[Miss Moonlight]

What experience have people had with dating somebody new who was not into vintage, and trying to get them interested?

I had one really good experience. When I was 16 I had a crush on a bad boy, and though I never really got to know him, he lived in my friend's house (long story there). he was a year older than me. I didn't see him after I was about 17, because when he turned 18, his life took off into some kind of adulthood.

Fast forward 15 years, I hit it off with a guy in the goth club I frequented at the time. Yes, in vintage- I like the femme fatale look for club nights. Anyhoo, we were talking a lot and suddenly I realized it was the same guy, and that was cool. At this time he still looked like a rock star. We started going out, and he was really liking all my music- mostly 30s and 40s, all the noir film, the dark but vintage fashion, and he decided all the sudden he was going to sell all his rock star, club going clothes and he went full on 40s/50s vintage. He got a hair cut styled after Desi Arnaz in I Love Lucy. He started collecting 78s.

If I'd ever once tried to push him toward any of those things, I imagine like a lot of people he would have resisted. But I just let it be, and they appealed to him naturally, so he went for it.

That was a long time ago and since I've dated guys who got into a little, but then it seemed they were only doing it to impress me and I don't want that, I want someone who it's natural for. The aforementioned guy still has that look and all the love of vintage ten years later, and the most amazing 78s collection... even though we're not together and haven't been for eight years.

 

[Badluck Brody]

I suppose we can't change people, so we just need to make ourselves happy. I guess that's what makes a site like this such a relief. Especially when you find like-minded folks to get along with.

MK rocks to have put such a site together

 

[ScionPI2005]

One key thing to remember when dating is that you should not start dating to try to change others. In my dating experience, I've never had the interest in changing the other person's beliefs or interests, and I would certainly not like it if they tried to change mine. The person I'm dating now seems to like my interest in the Golden Era and vintage, so in a way, I'm relieved. They asked me where my hat was when I showed up to dinner last night hatless (for shame me not having my hat, I know!) :eusa_doh: .

 

[HepKitty]

One key thing to remember when dating is that you should not start dating to try to change others. In my dating experience, I've never had the interest in changing the other person's beliefs or interests, and I would certainly not like it if they tried to change mine.

discussion is good though, as are being open-minded and willing to understand a different point of view. but if someone actually tries to badger you into changing, it wasn't meant to be in the first place. have the decency to let go and spare everyone involved the unnecessary agony

 

[jamespowers]

have the decency to let go and spare everyone involved the unnecessary agony

And run like heck in the opposite direction.

 

[Chas]

And run like heck in the opposite direction.

Or "amp it up" and intensify your vintageness to twist the other person up for a couple of weeks, then dump him/her. They may need to be punished for being so inappropriate.

IMO, trying to change somebody is the apex of condescension.

 

[John in Covina]

There are personality types where people are joiners and want to do stuff like vintage.

Others have no interest but may accomodate their other half.

I think that some people simply have a great fear of standing out from the crowd and that is difficult to overcome.

What is it about vintage people's personality that allows them the confidence and calm to go out in vintage and not feel foolish when they stand out from the crowd?

 

[Foofoogal]

What is it about vintage people's personality that allows them the confidence and calm to go out in vintage and not feel foolish when they stand out from the crowd?
__________________

Is it just personality or experiences in life also. You get to a point or some do when you really do care less what people think and not just say you do.

 

[GoldenEraFan]

I'll dust the cobwebs off this thread!

Living in NYC, one of the biggest cities, one would think finding people to date would be easy regardless of their being into vintage or not, but I've learned it's not easy at all. I personally think the issue is my age. I'm 22 and most women I meet who are as into 1910's-1950's vintage as I am tend to be older than me, even if by a few years. Recently It personally doesn't matter to me if the woman I date/have a relationship with is into vintage or not. If she appreciates/respects my passion for it, it's good enough. But I have become very miffed lately trying to find a girlfriend, as there really seems to be noone single where I live. It's mostly 30-45 year old transplant families. My vintage lifestyle has been respected by all my coworkers and college chums, but I feel that some of them see me as an eccentric character rather than a person. I used to think that I was maybe being too obsessed with my vintage lifestyle, but I tend to get most compliments from women, in fact all the followers of my vintage blog are women. The other thing about me is that I don't drink alcohol and therefore don't go to bars which limits my chances of meeting new people. I noticed a lot of women who are REALLY into the vintage lifestyle tend to live outside of New York, and sometimes the U.S. I'm a recent college graduate and can't afford to travel and try to meet like minded others outside my hometown with my current salary and strict work schedule. I sometimes wonder if it's even a good idea to want to have a relationship now because of the expenses involved and the current economic situation, but I know for a fact that I would like to find companionship. I feel very left out at work because all I ever hear from the 3 coworkers I sit next to is "my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that". I have a personal belief that there's someone for everyone, and I haven't found her yet. I'm a very shy guy, but I've always dreamed of being a true romantic.

 

[nice hat dude!]

When you get old like me you don't find someone you let them come to you,that way when it hits the fan they can't blame you as long as you just be who you are and don't start trying to be something else for someone else if she picked you as is why change.Now don't take my word for this as I've been married 8 times(just pulling your leg)it's only been twice but sometimes I swear...

 

[tridentine]

Met my wife in a vintage bar, kind of, [opened 1933] over free hot dogs and Martinis.

Married and 7 children later we just celebrated our 9th anniversary by going to Mass at a 1000 year church in Europe.
Kind of vintage.

 

[lewisskimonster]

I met my wife years ago when our boys were on the same little league baseball team. I would look to meet someone while you are out and about, doing what you love to do, wearing what you want. We pretty much wear what we like, but do take in each others opinion on such. She didn't like an old A2 that I have, thinking it was too worn out looking, so to make things better, I bought a new G8 style from US Authentic, which she likes. Everybody wins!

 

[Justin B]

Only piece of dating advice I can give to anyone...get out of the house/apt/igloo. No one will ever come and knock on your door and say "Hey, I was just driving by and thought this looked like a place someone I want to date would live." If you're not out in the world...you'll never meet that special someone.

 

[nice hat dude!]

Only piece of dating advice I can give to anyone...get out of the house/apt/igloo. No one will ever come and knock on your door and say "Hey, I was just driving by and thought this looked like a place someone I want to date would live." If you're not out in the world...you'll never meet that special someone.

Never leave the igloo cause it's even colder outside(haha)

 

[Tomasso]

I don't drink alcohol and therefore don't go to bars which limits my chances of meeting new people.

There is no rule that one must imbibe alcohol in order to socialize at a bar; I do it all the time. All the watering holes I frequent start mixing up my regular soda water with a slice of lime (looks just like gin & tonic) upon seeing me enter the establishment. I'm not charged for the drinks but I tip them as if they were cocktails.

 

[nice hat dude!]

Here's a little food for thought and I'm sure we've all seen it,I would say 90%of Ladies go to clubs to dance and you get these guys that say I won't dance because I'll look stupid or make a fool of myself,well who's having a better time the guy sitting in the cheap seats wishing he was dancing with a pretty lady or the guy on the dance floor that doesn't dance so well but he's dancing with that pretty lady?If you can walk you can dance you've all heard of the 2 step it's called that cause that's exactly what it is.Left...Right.Left,Right or slow slow fast fast.Ladies are all willing to give you the benefit of the doubt if you're willing to try and you're not a slobbery falling down drunk so as Mr. Lyles said you don't have to drink to have a good time.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

There is no rule that one must imbibe alcohol in order to socialize at a bar; I do it all the time. All the watering holes I frequent start mixing up my regular soda water with a slice of lime (looks just like gin & tonic) upon seeing me enter the establishment. I'm not charged for the drinks but I tip them as if they were cocktails.

You must be cuter than I am because I get charged for my seltzers on the rocks.