Dating etiquette

[Mid-fogey]

In the year 3535...

I've often struggled with that. At what point are we supposed to be evolved, intellectual beings that should be able to control our base animal instincts?

...Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do, or say
Is in the pill you took today...

Alternatively we could start by recognizing the fatuousness of Foucault and Rousseau. You can't build a better man starting with a bad plan, Stan.

 

[Dr Doran]

Also once against my better judgment I gave my number to this really cute guy that worked at the store by my apartment. I had only spoken to him at the store and then at the end of our 1st phone converstion she says "I love you." That was just strange and creepy.

STAY FAR AWAY DEADPAN.

 

[Dr Doran]

Alternatively we could start by recognizing the fatuousness of Foucault and Rousseau. You can't build a better man starting with a bad plan, Stan.

I hate Foucault. A lot.

I don't think much of Rousseau.

As for the open relationships argument, I agree they can work fine; in my experience, eventually I started to want something more serious. However, in my single days I did have these sorts of arrangements and if there was already a solid friendship it worked well. Two such women are still (platonic) friends with me now even though I am married and each of them is married as well.

 

[KeyGrip]

I guess if there's a benefit to long distance relationships, it's the lack of bad dates. Still; bad dates, or no dates?

 

[BegintheBeguine]

No need for excessive force when a little guile will do.

I guess they didn't have tazers back then either?

My yap has gotten me out of bad situations way more times than it has gotten me into them. Seriously, I was an extremely miniature person back then and I knew from experience that any device would be quickly used against me by a normal-sized person, thus adding injury to insult. He got his later, and I'm alive and safe, which is all that matters. Thank you for your concern.
Any other dating etiquette mistakes? How about this? An old friend introduced me to an attractive man and we went to the friend's house for a party. We got along very well for hours. Later, when he didn't return from the john, I realized he'd ditched me! Our friend recently (!) said it was because the man didn't know how to tell me he had a girlfriend.

 

[Dr Doran]

Any other dating etiquette mistakes? How about this? An old friend introduced me to an attractive man and we went to the friend's house for a party. We got along very well for hours. Later, when he didn't return from the john, I realized he'd ditched me! Our friend recently (!) said it was because the man didn't know how to tell me he had a girlfriend.

That's pretty rude of him ... however it reminds me of something I did.

A few years ago I was at an academic conference and I had volunteered for a few hours of cleanup and I started getting along uncomfortably well (I was and am married -- and I did not keep that a secret) with a girl from out of town ... it got to the point at which we were going to go out to dinner (not as a date per se, but since I knew the town well and she didn't know it at all). I went to have a cigarette first, then realized that this was insane and I told the person with whom I was smoking to tell the girl that I was terribly sorry but I had to go back home to my wife.

Probably nothing would have happened but there was some electricity going on, and I was married - I think I did the best thing under the circumstances. My wife certainly did, too, when I told her about it as soon as I got home!

 

[reetpleat]

A terrible dating mistake.

Guy I know opens his mouth to take another bite of his food BEFORE he has swallowed the previous chewed food, showing it to others at the table.

He is my enemy, so I have not informed him of this error in etiquette.

How many enemies do you have? Is this some kind of history thing like Indian Jones and the French archeologist (Bellach?)

 

[reetpleat]

Yes, the Yucky One has my heart. And he's done quite a few yucky things besides. There's no accounting for taste, is there? [huh]

AHA! So, instead of the nice guy, eh?

 

[reetpleat]

Since its you and I know that you are no fool; I'll cut you some slack.
He must be independently wealthy.

Puts me in mind of my ex who is afriend with a daughter who I wish was mine and who last year said "You could be my dad, because you are like, laid back and cool."

That ex dated a guy who was quite wealthy (cabin on lake Minetonka for those who know Minneapolis) but was very bi polar and messed up, then dated a guy who was pretty bad, then me, then went back to the middle guy, got engaged, had a cool daughter, and now is with a guy I don't think much of. She is so cool and strong and smart and together, but seems to have bad taste in men. (except me, right? right?)

My last ex has gone from me to a pretty messed up enabling, passive agressive guy too. (I must be the exception, right? right?)

 

[reetpleat]

I had a book called how to stay single. One of the chapters was about being tactless. It may come in handy for weeding out the undesirables.

I don't date because I am too nice and if I met someone who liked me and the feeling wasn't mutual I am not sure I could ever shake him. lol

I don't date because anyone who liked me would obviously be suspect.

 

[reetpleat]

...the bait and switch.

On a date, many, many years ago, when post dinner my date is driving me home. He asked if we could drop by his apartment to pick something up. He intended to meet up with friends after he dropped me off. Well, let's just say I should have stayed in the car! Animal hands...it was all I could do to get out the door and convince him he still needed to take me home. Oh, did I mention this was the 1st date? Manners, ugh!

well, for every woman complaining about a guy coming on too strong, ther eis another complaining about a guy not making a move. NO reflection on you. I am sure you were quite appropriate.

let's just say, a gentleman should respect all limits, but just barely.

 

[scotrace]

Most idiotic thing I ever did on a date: In the clutches of major kissing, I called the person by the wrong name. Instant, horrified, spine-freezing terror. Miraculously, she didn't seem to hear it, or it was garbled enough. But wow. Trying to explain why I thought my heart had just stopped....


One other situation was a cultural issue. I've always used "vintage" terms. Once, I asked a woman (who was already angry with me because I had turned down a ski trip with her) "hey! How's tricks?" She slapped me.

 

[Dr Doran]

How many enemies do you have? Is this some kind of history thing like Indian Jones and the French archeologist (Bellach?)

Oh ... you know how it is. Former best friend who became a rockabilly rather suddenly, was jealous of my academic progress, started doing steroids to buff up, became insanely aggressive, went into law, is now a rockabilly lawyer living in LA. One of those enemies. We each have one.

I don't date because anyone who liked me would obviously be suspect.

I always knew you were a Marxist. Groucho, that is ...

Most idiotic thing I ever did on a date: In the clutches of major kissing, I called the person by the wrong name. Instant, horrified, spine-freezing terror. Miraculously, she didn't seem to hear it, or it was garbled enough. But wow. Trying to explain why I thought my heart had just stopped....

"Oh, Ellen ... of, of, of Troy couldn't compare to you ..."

One other situation was a cultural issue. I've always used "vintage" terms. Once, I asked a woman (who was already angry with me because I had turned down a ski trip with her) "hey! How's tricks?" She slapped me.

Oh jeez. Some of my ex-girlfriends have BEEN (formerly) in that profession so they'd understand. But a wholesome Midwest gal? I don't think she'd like that much.

 

[BegintheBeguine]

fftopic: I knew a girl who didn't even know that was a professional term. She said, "Are you calling me a dog?"

 

[scotrace]

I think in The Golden Era, "How's tricks?" = the modern "How's life treating you?" or "how're things?" rather than "How many men have you been sleeping with for monetary compensation?" But given that I got socked, I may be wrong!


"Ellen... of..of...of Troy..."

lol lol lol

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Yes, 'How's tricks?' meant 'How are things?' But really, what's with these girls who would genuinely believe we were asking them about their illicit earnings or if they were a performing pet??? lol
Another dating ettiquette mistake: a man was 90 minutes late picking me up on a New Year's Eve because he was doing his hair.

 

[Dr Doran]

Yes, 'How's tricks?' meant 'How are things?' .

Anyone not knowing that is either not a native English speaker or not bright.

 

[reetpleat]

I think in The Golden Era, "How's tricks?" = the modern "How's life treating you?" or "how're things?" rather than "How many men have you been sleeping with for monetary compensation?" But given that I got socked, I may be wrong!


"Ellen... of..of...of Troy..."

lol lol lol

I can understand a girl saying "Huh?" but thinking you were referring to the oldest profession seems odd. You didn't ask her howm any tricks she di that day, after all.


Might make me a little suspect, come to think of it.

 

[reetpleat]

Oh ... you know how it is. Former best friend who became a rockabilly rather suddenly, was jealous of my academic progress, started doing steroids to buff up, became insanely aggressive, went into law, is now a rockabilly lawyer living in LA. One of those enemies. We each have one.


Oh yeah, the rockabilly lawyer. Everyone has one.

Ladies and gentleman, I'm Elvis Jones, the rockabilly lawyer. Even if you have trouble in the Ghetto, I will get your case dropped.

Does he end his closing arguments by saying "Elvis has left the building."?

Marxist, funny.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

Oh yeah, the rockabilly lawyer. Everyone has one.

Ladies and gentleman, I'm Elvis Jones, the rockabilly lawyer. Even if you have trouble in the Ghetto, I will get your case dropped.

Does he end his closing arguments by saying "Elvis has left the building."?

Marxist, funny.

more like, "thank you, thank you very much..."