Comments You Get When You Dress Vintage

[Lillemor]

fftopic:
Do you think in 50 or 60 years there will be folks who dress retro 2000's?
And do you think they'll get weird comments from people, too?

Oh, I love your Angelia Jolie look.
Hey, Britany Spears!

I nearly got the coffee down the wrong way. I'll pass up on commenting any further or this is just going to turn into a blood-on-the-keyboard rant about modern perceptions of what's attractive, glamorous, or admirable. That's what I was accused of last time I spoke my mind about Scarlett and Kylie.

Some where on the net I read of retro 1990s teenage party suggestions. I felt old when the retro 80s thing started but 1990s?! There was a retro 1970s thing in the 1990s which I didn't think was odd at the time though I didn't jump on the bandwagon but it must've been odd for those who were in their 30s back then.

 

[dgenevieve]

New to the discussion, don't have the patience to read 100+ pages to catch up...

I often get asked why I'm always so dressed up. I don't feel like I am, but I guess just about anything looks dressy next to a tracksuit. It almost seems to me that people have a negative reaction sometimes because your being "dressed up" makes them feel like they're under-dressed, and look bad in comparison. A fair point perhaps, but a disappointing sentiment. I love taking every opportunity to dress beautifully. It makes me happy to look like I take care of myself. Not talking high-maintenance, just considering one's appearance thoughtfully before leaving the house. What happened to that?

Sometimes I feel like my definition of "casual" is so off from what so many of our contemporaries consider casual. I may not wear dresses and stockings every day, but no matter what I wear it always has a bit of polish to it... tailored, flattering cuts, drapes, honest fit (no squeezing into too-small clothes), appropriate underpinnings (don't get me started!!), etc. Since when is looking one's best considered overdressed?

I've found that one's attitude is of paramount importance when wearing anything considered irregular by mainstream society (vintage of course, included). Confidence is key. That's one thing that I've always admired about women (and men) who choose to wear vintage or vi... it takes a certain self-assuredness and self-possession to stand apart from the crowd. Yes, you will turn heads. Yes, people will stare, ask silly questions, drop things, and stammer. If I love what I'm wearing and how I look, it shows, and I can more easily brush off the people who don't share my aesthetic opinions.

I wish more people would catch on, not just to vintage dressing, but to dressing in general. Paying attention to what they're wearing and how it fits them. Not dressing in trends that don't suit your body type. Putting your best foot forward every day. Who knows who you might meet at the grocery store?

 

[Lenore]

I wish more people would catch on, not just to vintage dressing, but to dressing in general. Paying attention to what they're wearing and how it fits them. Not dressing in trends that don't suit your body type. Putting your best foot forward every day.

You and us all, darling. You and us all. *sighs*

 

[chanteuseCarey]

Hello dgenevieve and welcome to FL!

Girlfriend, are you (now) in the right place!! You and I are definitely kindred spirits. Alot fo what you've said here is pretty much exactly how I feel too. Though I AM high maintenance If you are ever up here in the S.F. Bay Area- we should go to tea (tea lovers are definitely more high maintenance than coffee drinkers- ala' the Starbucks crowd) and have a nice long visit!

I love taking every opportunity to dress beautifully. It makes me happy to look like I take care of myself. Not talking high-maintenance, just considering one's appearance thoughtfully before leaving the house. What happened to that?

Sometimes I feel like my definition of "casual" is so off from what so many of our contemporaries consider casual. I may not wear dresses and stockings every day, but no matter what I wear it always has a bit of polish to it... tailored, flattering cuts, drapes, honest fit (no squeezing into too-small clothes), appropriate underpinnings (don't get me started!!), etc. Since when is looking one's best considered overdressed?

I've found that one's attitude is of paramount importance when wearing anything considered irregular by mainstream society (vintage of course, included). Confidence is key. That's one thing that I've always admired about women (and men) who choose to wear vintage or vi... it takes a certain self-assuredness and self-possession to stand apart from the crowd. Yes, you will turn heads. If I love what I'm wearing and how I look, it shows Putting your best foot forward every day.

 

[Lillemor]

I wish more people would catch on, not just to vintage dressing, but to dressing in general. Paying attention to what they're wearing and how it fits them. Not dressing in trends that don't suit your body type. Putting your best foot forward every day. Who knows who you might meet at the grocery store?

:eusa_clap
I wish I had your way with words. I know my idea of casual is way off the mark even for older generations today.

Chanteuse, I admirer that you take pride in being high maintenance and stand by it.

I suspect I'm relatively low maintenace compared to you ladies but I DO care and I know there's room for improvements in my wardrobe and I'm working towards it. I don't think it's shallow or frivolous. I think it's a matter of pride.

 

[dgenevieve]

Aw, you all are so sweet! I don't know why I felt so riled up when I was writing that. I guess I sort of felt annoyed by the backhanded compliment of being called "dressed up" so often.

My name is Diana, btw, so you all don't have to address me by my username. I guess I could add it to my signature.

chanteuseCarey: There is nothing wrong with being high maintenance! I just don't always have the patience for nylons. I grew up a bit of a tomboy, so I've had to ease myself into the concept of being a lady. But I love feeling put together. There's no better phrase for it... you just feel... presentable. Like if you had a chance encounter with someone, they'd see you at your best. Perhaps I just need to embrace being high maintenance and not regard it as a stigma. lol As far as tea goes, I hope we can! I used to go to tea with my sister, but haven't had the pleasure in a long time. That being said, I do appreciate a good coffee! P.S. Your signature just about says it all!

Lillemor: Oooh, I definitely have room for improvement! One thing I'm working on now is weening myself off flipflops. I didn't own a pair for almost a year, but I broke down a month ago and bought a pair for the beach and "around the house" (though of course my resolve fails occasionally!). I need to get myself some proper leather sandals, but it's hard to find something new that's not a heel and/or a gladiator-type sandal (vintage shoes never fit me). Also, I don't think anything that makes you happy and feel nice about yourself (and isn't hurting anyone!) could possibly be considered shallow or frivolous.

 

[crazydaisy]

I don't care about what strangers think. When you live as a "dodgy" accented foreigner in Britain you got to grow thick skin. I have had comments of a lot more serious nature than related to how I dress.

What bothers me though is when friends seem judgemental. I have this beloved friend whom I have known for years, a long time before my interest for vintage became channeled and expressed itself through clothing. Actually, before I had any interest in clothing whatsoever, so maybe that is part of the problem. Since she knew me as that person perhaps it is more difficult for her to relate to the changed person she might feel I am now. I personally don't feel it as a change as more of a natural evolution and self discovery. However I feel that she is judging me silently and probably considers that I became shallow and frivolous. She is interested in these decades too, particularly 20's and 30's, including the fashion, and she is not a going by the norm person at all - for her wedding she had a 30's inspired green dress that looked nothing like your typical wedding dress. She's a beautiful woman with fantastic taste, and really shines when makes an effort. However she's not interested in that on a daily basis, would rather wear comfy GAP. As for vintage, she would never wear anything pre owned. Once in an antique shop I found this amazing Victorian dress with visible ageing and showed it to her in admiration of the craftsmanship. She said in disdain she would never put that in her house let alone wearing it. That was not my point at all.
As for not liking pre-owned, I am sorry to say I did not really have any choice as a child and teenager, I had to wear hand downs I liked or not, that's how things were so maybe that is why I don't now have a problem with anything that wasn't mine from new. Of course I'd love it to have my own couturier to make one off things just for me but that's not the kind of life I have.
But for others to only buy new things and wear anything they want is totally fine with me. I can easily accept we are different people and each one of us has its own ways, I don't think we should all be interested in the same things and act the same. But I don't necessarily feel my passion for vintage is accepted with the same ease. I know I may seem slightly obsessive when looking for a particular detail or other, but that's how I am, it doesn't hurt anybody, so I don't think it should constitute a problem for anyone.
But going back to my friend, I visited her for a week a while ago - we live in different countries now. She seemed pretty amazed to see I was putting on makeup every day and varying my outfits (not always vintage). She even questioned me about it, a sort of "do you really do this every day?..."saying that herself couldn't see the point or be bothered to do that at all. Well guess what, I don't question THAT at all, I don't really care, surely there is more to life than putting make up on, but it is one little thing that I do for myself, because it makes me feel better. Not because I try to be something I am not. I don't look down on people who wear no make up or just jeans and t shirts, why do I have to be looked down at? It does hurt when you get the feeling that friends are seeing you as frivolous and superficial because you try to look your best. Strangers I don't care about, but friends I do and it saddens me. Maybe I really am superficial, I don't know. I don't have an easy life and preoccupying myself with these things help me keep positive, keep afloat. I don't really have many joys so I'd rather think of and do something that makes feel happy, even if it is not something "serious" and "important". But sometimes I feel that the mere legitimacy of doing these things is being contested.

 

[SayCici]

crazydaisy, I'm sorry your friend isn't supporting you like we'd all hope our friends would! I know personally, I don't see my friends very much, and I'm always nervous about hanging out with them and getting a thousand questions about my new wardrobe or my "grandma" status.

 

[CherryWry]

Last weekend I was at an antique store and a woman there told me she loved my look. I had my hair tied back in a red bandanna and I was wearing a cute white sundress with a red print and red wedge heels.

I get mixed reactions when I go out in a vintage-inspired look. I wear a lot of strapless A-line dresses with cardigans and wedges or other cute heels, and I've always got red lips. I have a bob and curl-resistant hair, so I'm not super-vintage accurate, but the clothes get some attention. Older men open doors for me and the maintenance guys on campus will stop mowing the lawn or whatever and nod to me.

If I'm out with my husband and someone asks why I'm dressed up, I usually smile, put my hand on my husband's arm and say something like, "I want to look good for The Mister," or "I like to keep things interesting." People generally have an easier time accepting that I'd want to look good for him than thinking I'd dress up just because I like it.

If I'm out by myself and someone asks why I'm dressed up, I say that I find vintage styles more figure-flattering and I think it's fun to stand out a little. Another favorite: "If I can't be gorgeous, I can at least be memorable." If I get, "What are you supposed to be?" I just say, "Different." I've carefully cultivated a smile that looks like trouble to go along with any of those replies.

Snotty staring/muttering/mocking teenagers: I stand up straight, cross my arms or put my hand on my hip, make direct eye contact, turn on the teacher look, raise an eyebrow and ask (in a polite tone at odds with my body language), "Can I help you with something?" Creates the illusion that I have some kind of authority and usually makes them squirm, shut up, and stop staring. [huh]

There's a woman at work who frequently compliments me on my clothes. And I get compliments every time I wear my red and cream spectators. I have a black and white pair, too, but the red and cream ones get more raves.

 

[Bettie Booh]

Not actually a comment, but walking by the builders next door today, I got a few whistles. Dont think it was the vintage clothing though, as much as the standard behaviour of builders. Still very funny.

Actually, I haven't got any comments yet, which is weird since I live in a very small town where people are supposed to dress as everyone else, but I do get a few stares once in a while. My husband actually told me, when I was wearing my pink 50's diner dress for the first time, that I looked like a nurse, which feels like a compliment to me, and my mother said I looked like a death cap (the red one) when I was wearing a red and white polkadot shirt. Other than that, nothing, yet. I guess they're all to come...

And oh, look at that, my first post!

 

[Antje]

I was at a dogshow today and I was not really dressed retro or vintage, but I was wearing a 40's like skirt and flat shoes and my hair in pincurls with a little flower in it.

and ofcourse my signature red lips and eyeliner, and a guy asked me if I liked rock'n roll music because I looked a little rock'n roll like in his eyes.

then after a moment his wife asked me the same,

they didn't even see my big elvis tattoo first, so I think I looked very rock'n roll today

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

I got a lovely comment from a lady who works in the local supermarket to my office - she said that she and her colleagues always love to see me come in as they all want to see my hair and outfit. She also asked if I was a model, so I said yes, I do it for a hobby. It made my day!

 

[Caity Lynn]

Caity
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm29/Caity_Lynn_Susan/Profile Stuffs/1-1012-maryb.jpg

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm29/Caity_Lynn_Susan/Profile Stuffs/2-1028-earlyLoretta.jpg

why can't we go back to when women were pretty and feminine?
Mr.X
No don't even think about doing your hair that way its just kinda blah...
Caity
... have you SEEN my hair?
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/...rofile Stuffs/1-1038-DaviesMarion_03-Mark.jpg
how can you not think that's pretty?
Mr.X
idk I'm kinda a fan of longish hair.not short.sorry
Caity
I repeat...Have you SEEN my hair?

Mr.X
so...whats your point
Caity
sigh,my point is, my hair is blah,I never do it,it's just there and un-attractive,while it's the right length to do these styles,why can't women go back to being pretty.
Mr.X
oh where do I start?ok here we go ......your hair is fine,its actually quite pretty...
Caity
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm29/Caity_Lynn_Susan/compare.jpg
can you really say I look better in the first one?
(despite the second ones pixalation)
Mr.X
Ihave this sinking feeling that I am digging my self into a hole
Caity
lol not really
Mr.X
ok then,the second
Caity
ha. see?the second one was done the same way the first pictures I sent you.
good old pin curls
Mr.X
yeah pin curls I like but just not right up against the head tho
Caity
ok, now think the second picture...only, every girl you saw looking that put together,none of this baggy sweats and pony tail business,all of us looking pretty,sexy high heels,flirty skirts
Mr.X
but I like Dazy duke shorts,and there is some thing 2 be said about baggy sweat pants,and not all girls can pull of the pin curls,but i do see your point tho. lol but anyway you wouldn't want to live back then!

women in the 20-mid-late 40 didn't go out much because they stayed at home most of the time doing house wife stuff but to a much greater extent then we do now. I mean if your house is a little messy then w/e people don't care, but back then it was quite rude to have a messy house
Caity
ok...so wheres the problem?the fascinating thing about me that no one figures is...I don't care.I think whatever idiot woman decided we needed to be "liberated" should have only liberated herself,I'm more than content to stay at home,mind the children,clean the house,cook and clean,take care of the husband
Mr.X
will you marry me?!
Caity
seriously, if I didn't have to work and all I had to do was cook and clean and look pretty,I'd be in heaven,I don't care about the government.Let the men handle it.
Mr.X
Where can I find more girls like you dang you are the mans dream.wow!





this entertained me last night...while, I know my view on housewives aren't echoed by all on here, I thought I'd share.

 

[*martini*time*]

Caity
ok...so wheres the problem?the fascinating thing about me that no one figures is...I don't care.I think whatever idiot woman decided we needed to be "liberated" should have only liberated herself,I'm more than content to stay at home,mind the children,clean the house,cook and clean,take care of the husband

fftopic: I totally agree! I wish my man would just earn all the money and my job was to cook and clean! I think you're beautiful anyway!! But i do like your curled hair!

 

[Caity Lynn]

^fftopic: well, lol at the end of the convo we agreed if, 25 years from now, we were both unwed, and he made enough money, we'd give it a shot lol

 

[*martini*time*]

^fftopic: well, lol at the end of the convo we agreed if, 25 years from now, we were both unwed, and he made enough money, we'd give it a shot lol

Bahahaaa! I love it! lol lol lol

 

[Mary]

Oh, another swede! Funny compliments you get, not at all predictable!

PS. Look in the eventstread if you want to meet up in Malmö or Köpenhamn.

Not actually a comment, but walking by the builders next door today, I got a few whistles. Dont think it was the vintage clothing though, as much as the standard behaviour of builders. Still very funny.

Actually, I haven't got any comments yet, which is weird since I live in a very small town where people are supposed to dress as everyone else, but I do get a few stares once in a while. My husband actually told me, when I was wearing my pink 50's diner dress for the first time, that I looked like a nurse, which feels like a compliment to me, and my mother said I looked like a death cap (the red one) when I was wearing a red and white polkadot shirt. Other than that, nothing, yet. I guess they're all to come...

And oh, look at that, my first post!

 

[Elaina]

I think I finally managed the bad story to end all of them.

I was on a date not too long ago and I was in an orange base with black, grey, red and teal plaid on it (it sounds hideous I know), a black fitted women's babydoll tee and peeptoed heels. I had my hair sort of done sorta retro (more 60s then 50s however). Rockabilly lite, in other words. I got up to powder my nose, and was followed into the ladies room by not one but THREE women.

All of them were in sweats/pj pants and torn, stained beer tee shirts. I only mention this because of the following:

#1 "What the @#$% is wrong with you?"
Me: arch a brow at her and continue to wash my hands
#2 "You make us look bad!"
#3 "We don't dress like this here. What are you a hooker or something?"
Me: "...I have to dress like *that* on a date?"
#1 "We ALL do."
#2 "We don't need no skank trying to get our men."

At that point I started laughing. I can't exactly tell you the rest except I was threatened to get my derriere kicked. I gave them my address and told them I'd be home by 4 and they were welcome to come over and try, but really, if I broke a nail, I'd have to really get mad about it.

I've seen the three in other places since then, and I always smile, primp my hair, and do the really annoying finger rub/flick of the tip across the lipstick.

 

[SayCici]

I think I finally managed the bad story to end all of them.

I was on a date not too long ago and I was in an orange base with black, grey, red and teal plaid on it (it sounds hideous I know), a black fitted women's babydoll tee and peeptoed heels. I had my hair sort of done sorta retro (more 60s then 50s however). Rockabilly lite, in other words. I got up to powder my nose, and was followed into the ladies room by not one but THREE women.

All of them were in sweats/pj pants and torn, stained beer tee shirts. I only mention this because of the following:

#1 "What the @#$% is wrong with you?"
Me: arch a brow at her and continue to wash my hands
#2 "You make us look bad!"
#3 "We don't dress like this here. What are you a hooker or something?"
Me: "...I have to dress like *that* on a date?"
#1 "We ALL do."
#2 "We don't need no skank trying to get our men."

At that point I started laughing. I can't exactly tell you the rest except I was threatened to get my derriere kicked. I gave them my address and told them I'd be home by 4 and they were welcome to come over and try, but really, if I broke a nail, I'd have to really get mad about it.

I've seen the three in other places since then, and I always smile, primp my hair, and do the really annoying finger rub/flick of the tip across the lipstick.

WOW, don't they sound classy! You handled yourself astonishingly well.

 

[GlamourDoll]

I think I finally managed the bad story to end all of them.

I was on a date not too long ago and I was in an orange base with black, grey, red and teal plaid on it (it sounds hideous I know), a black fitted women's babydoll tee and peeptoed heels. I had my hair sort of done sorta retro (more 60s then 50s however). Rockabilly lite, in other words. I got up to powder my nose, and was followed into the ladies room by not one but THREE women.

All of them were in sweats/pj pants and torn, stained beer tee shirts. I only mention this because of the following:

#1 "What the @#$% is wrong with you?"
Me: arch a brow at her and continue to wash my hands
#2 "You make us look bad!"
#3 "We don't dress like this here. What are you a hooker or something?"
Me: "...I have to dress like *that* on a date?"
#1 "We ALL do."
#2 "We don't need no skank trying to get our men."

At that point I started laughing. I can't exactly tell you the rest except I was threatened to get my derriere kicked. I gave them my address and told them I'd be home by 4 and they were welcome to come over and try, but really, if I broke a nail, I'd have to really get mad about it.

I've seen the three in other places since then, and I always smile, primp my hair, and do the really annoying finger rub/flick of the tip across the lipstick.

I must agree..you handled yourself very well! :eusa_clap I've been in a similar situation before with "girls" considering they weren't ladies at all. And I'm sad to say, that there are some creatures in this world that don't understand...and would rather live these simple jeans or sweats lifestyle.