Cocktail parties: Country-Style

[Miss 1929]

Bourbon and Blues

That should make them happy! And maybe request blue as the color to wear along with Sunday Best to get them in the frame of mind...And if someone still wants to come, but isn't into dressing up, don't make an issue out of it. "Admired, but not required" is a good way to put it.
And remember, maybe they aren't well-dressed or well-read, but I will bet that if you were in a pinch, you new neighbors would be there for you.

 

[Paisley]

You'd be amazed how diverse white people can be.

As to the original question -- don't think so much along the lines of "here I'm going to enlighten these poor benighted folks with my sophisticated ways." Being poor and rural doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with cultural illiteracy, and you just might be surprised. Rather, simply be friendly and engaging and let things take their natural course.

Indeed, some of the senators and representatives from the West are ranchers.

My father grew up poor and rural, and I'm amazed at how well he remembers songs he hasn't heard in 50 years.

ETA: Music generally comes from the bottom of a culture, not the top. Isn't some of the best classical music based on folk songs?

 

[Dr Doran]

And remember, maybe they aren't well-dressed or well-read, but I will bet that if you were in a pinch, you new neighbors would be there for you.

Well-said. And as for the European-Americans (somewhat pejoratively referred to as "whites"), I agree, there is plenty of diversity amongst them. Poland and England are pretty different places! As for the poor European-Americans, if you are interested in their history in America, there is Jim Goad's excellent, hilarious, if utterly obnoxious and non-academic book The Redneck Manifesto which contains interesting historical information along with its more anecdotal notes-from-below style, and also the book on the Scotts-Irish written by a certain Jim Webb, a politician and ex-military man who may be in Obama's short list for VP. Plenty of interesting traditions and history about this group.

Webb hates the term "redneck" as well. Goad points out the hypocrisy in newspapermen and liberals who will joke about poor "white trash" (another very nasty term) but would have a cow if anyone made such jokes about poor and uneducated persons who were not white ... especially if they were black.

 

[Sefton]

I think they prefer to be called "Redneck-Americans" now.

I agree with Doran; Elvis,Hank Williams (Sr.), Ernest Tubbs, Bob Wills and his Texas playboys, and maybe a little Sinatra or Tony Bennett. I'd save the Cole Porter for the next time. Assume that your guests are just as smart as you are and once the parties going let the (apparently cow-)chips fall where they may. Good luck!

By the way;I'd love to see a scan of that census. Here in California-land the only option for those not wishing to be boxed into "White" is the obiquitous "Other". You'd think we'd at least get "Whitey"....

 

[Atticus Finch]

Hi Atticus,

I mostly meant poorly-educated, in a very backwoods cow-tipping kind of way. Think 'mater' in "Cars."
Just want to clarify; not trying to change anyone, i just want to comfortably share my end of things, everyone has already made me very welcome at some pretty crazy shindigs!

Haha, CharlesB

Truthfully, your party sounds like great fun! Perhaps you should avoid the term "redneck" when describing your guests, but otherwise I think you've got a great idea. Maybe you could begin the evening by playing most or all of Lyle Lovett's early work?

AF

 

[SamMarlowPI]

You'd think we'd at least get "Whitey"....

or 'honky'...

 

[Rick Blaine]

or 'honky'...

Ofay.

 

[Jack Scorpion]

or 'honky'...

I prefer Hunky. For multiple reasons.

I thought rednecks were a myth. I guess my only country experience is the New England woods-and-snow type and while I wouldn't hesitate to call them Country Folk, I definitely call them so with only the most endearing intent. I still laugh when they ask me weird questions about the City. And then they laugh at me when I try and fail to cut firewood ten times in a row.

Music wise.... what kinda poor white folk we talking about... because if they are country music fans, the transition to blues and jazz is quite easy. I think. At least, I started to appreciate country music because of blues, which I started to appreciate because of jazz. From country... go Julie Miller, Cowboy Junkies, Bonnie Raitt, Allman Bros, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Cream, John Lee Hooker, B.B. King, Howlin' Wolf, Bill Withers, Cab Calloway, Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald. Haha. In my really off-the-wall particular order.

 

[Ben]

You might ask everyone to bring their favorite song or music and work your way around to yours.

Or, depending on what you are looking for bill it as a costume party or theme party -- James Bond theme party perhaps?

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Where I grew up it was all stereotypical "rednecks" and they were proud to label themselves as such. If you didn't fit into their world you were a freak and they made sure you knew it.

Thank goodness I live in the city now lol

By the sounds of it, you got a good batch! I second the country music if that's what they're into. Maybe mix it up with some old country and maybe ease in some old jazz. Have fun!

 

[ErinKathleen]

Apology

Start by eliminating the word "redneck."

I'd like to apologize to anyone I've offended by using the term 'Redneck.' I had never considered it to be a hurtful or derogatory word, and like Jack, have only applied it to friends in the most playful and endearing fashion possible. I too grew up on a farm, 4-H kid and a regular Daisy Duke in high school, so I wore the label for a while too. Like Amy Jeanne put it,

Where I grew up it was all stereotypical "rednecks" and they were proud to label themselves as such. If you didn't fit into their world you were a freak and they made sure you knew it.

While I did say that the education in the area is poor, I should have phrased it more carefully. I am by no means questioning the intelligence of the locals - most of them are highly intelligent and have pulled themselves up by the bootstraps. There is a great difference between education and wisdom. I simply consider being a redneck to be a lifestyle, just as being a soccer mom, an artist or a sailor generally imply different lifestyles.
That being said, I am very sorry if I have offended or insulted in any way, and will rephrase my initial post shortly.

I absolutely love the Lyle Lovett and Bourbon & Blues ideas, I think that would be a blast! The people I've met locally have been very gracious in welcoming me to the community, and laughingly letting me join in on their parties. They get a kick out of it, and tease me to death, all in good fun. I just think it would be neat if I could reciprocate by having a bash jazz-style; I think we'd have a lot of good laughs, and it would be a great way to get to know everyone a little better. It's not a huge deal to me if not everyone is comfortable with the dressing up thing. If the first party goes well, I'd make a regular habit of it, as I am having fun making a regular habit of hanging out at their parties.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Hi Erin Kathleen!

I don't think you need to apologise and certainly DON'T FEEL BAD. I'd send you a PM, but you need to make 3 more posts so I can!!!

 

[ErinKathleen]

Aw, thanks Amy I just know from past experience that I sometimes tend to type like an airhead and I'd rather not go down in history as the cause of WWIII

 

[Paisley]

As I'm sure you know, people will generally give you a pass if you're part of the group you're poking a little fun at. Initially, it wasn't clear that that was the case. So--apology accepted.

Many of my relatives fit the redneck stereotype, but would hate being called that. It pays to use the term carefully.

In any event, I hope your party is a success.

 

[Dr Doran]

Erin Kathleen, I think you're going to have a ball. Cheers!

 

[59Lark]

could be worse you could have moved to amish country

Having grown up with amish neighbours, my fondest memory is having a miller girl babysit my brother and I, about 1966, seeing this girl about 16 at the time eating potatoe chip and drinking gingerale and watching , i think it was the ed sullivan show, but frankly that was a long time ago. The look on her face that i remember till the end of time. Having been born on a family farm and coming from that world, just be yourself and down to earth dont try to move mountains or be too wild , mind you , honestly I am horribly dated and even though I have lived in the city, small one , for thirty years I refuse to call myself a city dweller, still refered by my family as a farm boy might be older one.


I am always telling people until you have manure on your boots , you are just a visitor, but remember us county people have a dark side, we usually dont like goverment people , no i dont mean revenoers, i once was a chat with edwin wagler and a fella came up to us, with a stainless steel clipboard and a suit, i told edwin beware of people with steel clipboard, sure enough he was a goverment inspector about edwin selling eggs, a big outfit had complained about him selling his eggs at the market, he had been doing that for 25 years. The goverment made his get a candling machine and he ran it off a invertor and a car battery charged up at the neighbours. They would take his word and had to videotape it working and do a report. NOW he still sells eggs, but its a bit more work, his eggs are the best, no blood spots, they used to candle them with a lantern in the cellar and never cracked ones, the ones in the stores are always at least one cracked egg, too many machines and too much time in trucks. off subject bottom line country people think different act different and smell different , love it or leave it. former pig farmer 59Lark.fftopic:

 

[shortbow]

Having grown up with a foot in both camps, let me just advise a wee bit of caution. I remember when I was a kid we had a summer place in New Mexico. Some full timer kids from down the way lived in a tiny house, their Dad was a way a lot, and they talked all the time about "taters and beans." My mother got wind of this and decided to invite them over for a "luncheon." Silver, good china, very nice meal, et al. That didn't fly too well. The law of unintended consequences resulted in what should have been a predictable outcome. They felt they were being talked down to, shown up, etc. Enmity ensued. I bet if you appear in a LBD and pearls with a martini glass in hand, big band jazz on the hi fi, your guests might not get in the cocktail party thing in the way you envision.lol

On the other hand, anyone seeing the way I live now would probably judge me as an illiterate "redneck" and might come away surprised at from whence I come, my horizons, my education level, etc.

I believe that true grace and "breeding" always seeks to make one's fellows feel at ease, comfortable, welcome and un-judged.

I guess all I'm saying is that following the golden rule is always the right way to go, and sounds like you are there. Good luck.

 

[Talbot]

back on topic...

You want to socialise and show some hospitality to your neighbors. They will appreciate that whatever their background.

Doing the high cocktail thing can put off a lot of people, as not that every guy has a tux to dust off for the occasion. Make it a theme night, say prohibition era. Nothing a quick trip to the goodwill store can't fix for the occasion.

Best cocktail party I went to went like this - invite said it was a theme night, in this case 50's style glad rags. Single invitees were requsted to bring a mixer, say vermouth, etc. Couples were asked to bring a fifth of something stronger, say gin, scotch etc. Invitees were coordinated so the host didn't wind up with too much on any one type of ingredient.

The host provided recipe books, mixers, glassware and some of the less common ingredients such as apricot brandy etc. All the ingredients and recipe books were placed on a large table allowing the guests to mix thier own drinks.

This turned out to be a real ice breaker, as strangers would be asking you (or you would be asking strangers) what should be mixed next, because you pretty much had the run of any of the recipe books on hand.

I'm not very gregarious, but I met a lot of interesting people that night, and the host wound up with a well stocked liquor cabinet.

My 0.02

 

[pgoat]

Interesting thread. Fwiw, most of my favorite jazz musicians - many of whom were among the most advanced and sophisticated artists of the 20th century - came from rural, and often, poor backgrounds (not that the two go hand in hand).

I mention not to beat up on the OP - I think it's clear she meant no malice - But to illustrate a fascinating paradox nonetheless. Personally I instinctively think urban = jazz, because that is the stereotype; yet nearly every great jazz innovator I can think of came from a small town.

 

[Paisley]

Not Just a Sheriff

Slightly fftopic:

I saw A Face in the Crowd and was surprised at how good Andy Griffith was at singing the blues.