Clean Jokes

[LostInTyme]

Cardio-version for me next week (no joke). Getting familiar with the procedure room.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Adolf, my dear, would you like a sightseeing trip to Paris?

Wow, Eva, Honey, I had the same idea!!

 

[BobHufford]

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both lefts, which on one hand is great... but on the other, it's just not right.

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Zombie_61]

Adolf, my dear, would you like a sightseeing trip to Paris?

Wow, Eva, Honey, I had the same idea!!

Funny, I thought they had absconded to Argentina.

 

[Turnip]

No, that have been Mengele, Eichmann and comrades, who were even too wimpy for suicide.

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

Kurt Vonnegut:

 

[Tiki Tom]

A beautiful blonde boards an aircraft bound for Toronto and goes straight to business class and takes a seat, even though her ticket is for a seat in coach.

A flight attendant tries to get her to move, but the woman won’t move, basically saying “As a gorgeous blonde, I’m accustomed to getting what I want, and today I want to fly business Class to Toronto. It’s what I deserve.”

So the flight attendant kicks it up to the co-pilot to resolve. The co-pilot is dazzled by the blondes great beauty but nonetheless stammers that she might want to move to coach. The unruly passenger again says “In the end I always get what I want. You are a sweet man, I‘m sure you’ll find it in your power to let me fly business class to Toronto.”

So the problem is passed to the Captain.

”No worries,” the captain says. “I know how to handle this. I’m married to a blonde.”

He approaches the woman and asks her to move. She again repeats the line that her beauty entitles her to get what she wants and she wants to fly business class to Toronto.

“The only problem” the captain responds “is that this business class doesn’t stop in Toronto.”

The beautiful blonde promptly got up and moved back to her seat in coach.

 

[Trenchfriend]

20:15, family sits together, watching TV.

Grand Grandpa grumbles in the back:
"If we were given F16 at the Eastern Front, maaan..."

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Trenchfriend]

There's an old saying in old Germany.
"If you got hashy in your tashy, you always got something to nashy."

PS:
The older at school teached this.

 

[Zombie_61]

There's an old saying in old Germany.
"If you got hashy in your tashy, you always got something to nashy."

PS:
The older at school teached this.

I have no idea what a "hashy", a "tashy", or a "nashy" is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Trenchfriend]

I have no idea what a "hashy", a "tashy", or a "nashy" is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Because it doesn't rhyme in English.

If yout got Hashish in your pocket, you always got something to nosh on.

But it's only a funny phrase to bring good mood in a group, no one takes it seriously.

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]