Clean Jokes

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Trenchfriend]

In prenatal classes, all women come together for the first time, so they are welcomed heartfelt by the head course instructor.
After some smalltalk to break the ice, she's starting the first section of the course:

"The most important thing for the pregnant woman is it to BREATHE !"

The oldest pregnant lady:
"Oh WOW, tell me more of it, I didn't know that!!"

 

[02 nighttrain]

 

[Zombie_61]

A man makes his first trip to Chicago and visits the Navy Pier. He decides he wants to find out how long it is, so he measures one slat's width and the slit that separates the slats and figures, he can calculate the length of the pier by counting the slats and adding them up with the number of slits. So he begins walking out on the pier, counting the slits between the boards.

Unfortunately, he wasn't paying close attention and walked off the end of the pier after counting the last slit, tragically drowning in Lake Michigan.

The moral of the story?

"When you're out of slits, you're out of pier."

 

[02 nighttrain]

 

[Herb Roflcopter]

This is an old joke and may have already been posted, but not in this style!

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Trenchfriend]

How do you manage to bring a media person down to 2 promille?

One week without alcohol...

 

[Trenchfriend]

THIS time, their victory fell into the water, and I never got my girlfriend that wet again...

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Frunobulax]

View attachment 530012

And if I can't see it clearly after I drop it, it's not there.

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Turnip]

 

[My Scooter]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[LostInTyme]

Wife: "just a little to the right."

 

[Turnip]

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Bushman]

Wife: "just a little to the right."

View attachment 530192

AKA: why women live longer than men!