Clean Jokes

[Turnip]

Happy Easter everyone!

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Bamaboots]

 

[LostInTyme]

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[LostInTyme]

How were you able to gather such a large following?

 

[Turnip]

 

[Doctor Damage]

I saw this notice last month on the Environment Canada weather website when I tried to look up a satellite image. I like the extremely vague repair timeline!

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Trenchfriend]

The difference between pipe tobacco and women?

Pipe tobacco can be too wet...

 

[Bamaboots]

 

[Bamaboots]

 

[LostInTyme]

The Postcard

A long time ago, a wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, though she wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card... then promptly turned white and fainted.

Alarmed, she picked up the card on the floor and read aloud: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

 

[02 nighttrain]

 

[LostInTyme]

Good ole' Doc Martin.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the examination the doctor says, "Well, you're gonna die. You have six weeks."

The man pleads with the doctor, "Please you've got to save me! Isn't there anything I can do? Some form of therapy?"

The doctor says, "You could try mud baths."

"Will that help, doctor, will it cure me?"

"No, but you'll get used to the dirt."

 

[Doctor Damage]

 

[Turnip]