Childhood, Today's Kids...and The Goonies

[Undertow]

Seems to me we get the worst of both worlds today. Parents are permissive and overprotective. At the same time they prohibit their kids to run free out of doors, they indulge them in an anything goes atmosphere within the "safety" of their homes. Roam the internet unchecked? Sure! Walk together to the movies with a couple of other friends? No way, that's dangerous!

This past Summer, like the many Summers before it over the last twenty years or so, I saw many empty streets with kids under lock and key all in the name of protection. And if there are legions of murderous pedophiles riding around like Road Warrior gangs, then the nearly thirty years of "Just say no to drugs" and Adam Walsh-inspired child fingerprinting-and-don't-talk-to-strangers conditioning has led to zero success in how parents raise their children.

:eusa_clap

 

[JimWagner]

Kids in my neighborhood are always out playing without parents hovering over them. At least up to a certain age. After that they are more interested in other things. That's nothing particularly new.

By the time you reach high school you naturally get more interested in school activities, sports, hanging with your friends inside rather than outside.

Not much different from me in the 50's and 60's.

There are certainly more kids involved with structured activities today, but that's as much because their parents can afford such things as not. When I was my grandson's age my parents couldn't afford to buy me a baseball glove so I didn't play little league. My son did. My grandson does and takes taikwondo lessons too.

But none of my family has ever lived in an inner city anywhere. I'm sure things are different depending on where you live.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Yes indeed, things are a bit different to some degree due to social structure and the relationship children today have with instant video and all of that. I actually miss the age of the 1950's that I grew up in and such that everything was an adventure because you made it that way. You could feel safe outside, or walking to a local park or school yard on a weekend to play and get together with friends. You did not have to worry about some other kid pulling a 50 caliber pistol out of a book bag and shooting you. You could find adventure just rolling in the leaves in the fall, riding your bike like you were a race car driver and not have to worry about gangs and all of that. I feel sorry for the children of today. I felt sorry for my own children as they were growing up in school as they had to face things no child should have to. But they got through it all and are doing well. I also know they love hearing me talk about how it was, and could see in their eyes they wished things could have been like that for them.

 

[C-dot]

Far from being highly-regimented, tightly-monitored and nanny-ish, you may be glad(?) to know many parents let their children roam the streets (and online) very un-monitored.

I see the double standard of this a lot. Just the other night on an evening walk, I saw a woman pushing the seat of her young son's bicycle along as he learned to ride. A nice scene, but she was on her cellphone at the time.

It seems as if people's attentions these days are so divided (a good deal of the time its with electronics) that they focus too much attention on some things and not enough on others. A mother won't let her child play outside alone, but he can spend hours on the internet alone... And who knows what that curious little mind will absorb.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

I see the double standard of this a lot. Just the other night on an evening walk, I saw a woman pushing the seat of her young son's bicycle along as he learned to ride. A nice scene, but she was on her cellphone at the time.

It seems as if people's attentions these days are so divided (a good deal of the time its with electronics) that they focus too much attention on some things and not enough on others. A mother won't let her child play outside alone, but he can spend hours on the internet alone... And who knows what that curious little mind will absorb.

So that is who has been hacking my bank lately? lol! Yes it is part of parental obligation to interact with the children and give them something priceless, their time and love and care.

 

[C-dot]

So that is who has been hacking my bank lately? lol! Yes it is part of parental obligation to interact with the children and give them something priceless, their time and love and care.

I firmly believe this, just as firmly as I believe it should be common sense. My father has a work colleague with small children, who refers to spending time with them as "babysitting" and once made this remark about e-readers: "They're great. I can put a book on there and my kids don't bother me to read to them." :eusa_doh: My dad told me he was saddened by that, because he used to really enjoy reading to my brother and I when we were little tykes - and we enjoyed it just as much.

That really belongs in the "decline in standards" thread though.

Back on topic, I came of age in the 90's and was encouraged to get outside and play. My best friend was also my neighbour, so we would always be outside fooling around until we were called in for dinner. My parents gave me their undivided attention, and made sure I knew what was what, so they likely didn't feel the need to keep me on a tether.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

Back on topic, I came of age in the 90's and was encouraged to get outside and play. My best friend was also my neighbour, so we would always be outside fooling around until we were called in for dinner. My parents gave me their undivided attention, and made sure I knew what was what, so they likely didn't feel the need to keep me on a tether.

Interesting that you mention your own experience, because it seems like the overprotective trend in child rearing began in the mid or late '80s. In the Woody Allen movie Alice (1990), a character mentions how their kids have a "play date"! I can also recall the younger siblings of my friends having gone through early regimentation with day care/pre-school/after school babysitting, etc. But that's probably due to there being more working mothers by the mid '80s though I still see it as the protection racket that it is. I'm fortunate that my friends and I never had to endure that, but it's something that's been going on for decades now, I guess. I'll bet many of the younger FL posters have experienced this very thing.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

Kids in my neighborhood are always out playing without parents hovering over them. At least up to a certain age. After that they are more interested in other things. That's nothing particularly new.

By the time you reach high school you naturally get more interested in school activities, sports, hanging with your friends inside rather than outside.

Not much different from me in the 50's and 60's.

There are certainly more kids involved with structured activities today, but that's as much because their parents can afford such things as not. When I was my grandson's age my parents couldn't afford to buy me a baseball glove so I didn't play little league. My son did. My grandson does and takes taikwondo lessons too.

So you believe that kids remaining indoors these days is due to an improved financial situation and not because of overprotective parents and a fearmongering media?

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

So you believe that kids remaining indoors these days is due to an improved financial situation and not because of overprotective parents and a fearmongering media?

On the other side of the coin, up until a few years ago I would rarely see kids on bikes around here. Now I see a lot more of them. It seems that it coincided with the rise in gas prices when the parents started to realize that chauffeuring the kids around EVERYWHERE was a luxury they couldn't quite afford anymore.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I live in a working-class neighborhood, and you still see kids in the street -- not to the extent that you used to, but there aren't the mass of organized activities you find in suburbia, so there's not much else for them to do if their parents don't want them cluttering up the house. Just today I saw two junior-high looking kids sitting on the curb smoking cigarettes and flipping off passing cars. Ah, what nostalgic memories they'll have one day.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

On the other side of the coin, up until a few years ago I would rarely see kids on bikes around here. Now I see a lot more of them. It seems that it coincided with the rise in gas prices when the parents started to realize that chauffeuring the kids around EVERYWHERE was a luxury they couldn't quite afford anymore.

I agree with that totally!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

I live in a working-class neighborhood, and you still see kids in the street -- not to the extent that you used to, but there aren't the mass of organized activities you find in suburbia, so there's not much else for them to do if their parents don't want them cluttering up the house. Just today I saw two junior-high looking kids sitting on the curb smoking cigarettes and flipping off passing cars. Ah, what nostalgic memories they'll have one day.

They may have been doing their school homework, you know math, counting up to the number, one, using a finger to keep track! LOL!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

So you believe that kids remaining indoors these days is due to an improved financial situation and not because of overprotective parents and a fearmongering media?

I think to some degree the kids today want to be inside on a computer, (we do that so what can we say)? But also there is more a issue with what can happen to kids now it they are out and about without someone watching them.

 

[John in Covina]

I can also recall the younger siblings of my friends having gone through early regimentation with day care/pre-school/after school babysitting, etc. But that's probably due to there being more working mothers by the mid '80s though I still see it as the protection racket that it is.

There were a lot of two parent working families in the 70's and 60's. In my neighborhood there were about half of families had 2 parents working. I think the term for kids like me was "Latch-key kids". In NY (Motto: Land of Taxes) what was a decent single parent wage household in most other states could not support you in NY. Many lower middle class households needed to have a second income to make it when they had a second or third child.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

There were a lot of two parent working families in the 70's and 60's. In my neighborhood there were about half of families had 2 parents working. I think the term for kids like me was "Latch-key kids". In NY (Motto: Land of Taxes) what was a decent single parent wage household in most other states could not support you in NY. Many lower middle class households needed to have a second income to make it when they had a second or third child.

Yes, but the difference is that the kids weren't corraled in some kind of post-school daycare like they have been in recent decades. Both parents work today yet spend the extra $$$ on those kinds of programs, whereas before kids just came home. I don't think that today's kids are any more or less mischievous (or "mischievious" as my 12th grade English teacher used to say; thanks US public school system!) than previous rabbles of kids.

George Carlin had a great bit on contemporary children and their overprotective parents (For those who can handle profanity, that is--search for it) that's dead on in its scathing accuracy.

 

[Tango Yankee]

Growing up in the '60s and '70s in a suburb of Los Angeles was a lot like it was portrayed in the TV show "The Wonder Years." We had an incredible amount of freedom as long as we came home when the streetlights came on! When I was seven I received a Schwinn Sting Ray for my birthday, and soon after that I got a job as a paperboy for The Daily Signal. Every afternoon after school I would come home to a bundle of papers, which I would fold and put into canvas bags. Those were hung off the handlebars of the bike, and I'd be off to deliver papers a block or two away. I remember roaming my route at night, collecting the monthly subscription fees from my customers. (In a sense I was a sub-contractor: I bought papers from the company, and whatever was left over was what I earned, plus tips.) Sometimes we (paperboys) would be gathered up and sent door-to-door signing people up. At night. On school nights.

The neighborhood was full of kids, and we'd have a blast roaming from house to house, playing various games, riding our bikes. We had no worries. Yes, it was drilled into my head that I wasn't to get into strangers cars, but we weren't fearful.

From what I've seen in recent years it does seem as though the norm is the overly-protected kids, with children being driven everywhere. Of course, part of that may be due to the fact that kids don't seem to be as numerous as they were when I was growing up, having been born at the end of the boomer years. Kids are more spread out. For instance, none of my godson's friends or friends of his brothers lived anywhere near where they lived in Medford, OR. They may have been within biking distance, but that didn't happen until they were mid-teens. Mostly they were driven where they needed to go.

So I can see some kids looking at movies of kids in the past and longing for that sort of freedom. On the other hand, I think that many kids like it just find that they don't have to expend much energy to go anywhere, and they have everything they need in the form of the TV, cable, the Internet, and iPod and cell phone.

Oh, and since others have mentioned similar things and since I was a paperboy once: In Nebraska in the early '80s, when I was an Airman at Offutt AFB, another Airman by the name of John Joubert grabbed and killed a 13 year old boy who was delivering papers early one morning. Joubert turned out to be a serial killer of young boys. After his arrest I was driving from southern California back to Offutt, and stopped for gas in Colorado. The attendent saw my Offutt AFB decal and wanted to know if I knew the guy. (I did not.)

Cheers,
Tom


PS: For those of you familiar with southern California, one adventure that a couple of us went on (I think we were in junior high) was to get up and leave around 4 AM on our bikes. We rode along the Los Angeles River from South Gate into Long Beach to go fishing. Didn't catch anything, and we were sure tired when we finally got home late that night!

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

From what I've seen in recent years it does seem as though the norm is the overly-protected kids, with children being driven everywhere. Of course, part of that may be due to the fact that kids don't seem to be as numerous as they were when I was growing up, having been born at the end of the boomer years. Kids are more spread out. For instance, none of my godson's friends or friends of his brothers lived anywhere near where they lived in Medford, OR. They may have been within biking distance, but that didn't happen until they were mid-teens. Mostly they were driven where they needed to go.

As the population increases so has distances. Nowadays it's not just Mom and Dad who have the long commute. Once more, even going to school has become a major trek for many kids especially if they live at the very edge of the school district boundaries. I've known a lot of people who drive their high school age kids to and from school.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

When I was a kid, my bike took me everywhere. Once we moved into town for a few years, I always walked or rode my bicycle to school. The only time I ever got a ride was if my Dad had a meeting around the time we were going to school, or if it was really, REALLY cold and I mean really cold for Wisconsin lol My dad also used to send me places for him. Small town life, I would take my bike and go anywhere, they'd know I was there for my pa and to just put it on his account. I don't think many places do that anymore, and this was only a few years back.

I don't see a lot of kids out and about, unless it's the teens that are just not quite old enough to drive, or have no car. They look like punks. I was driving to work a few weeks back and saw some kids, about 10 years old or so on bicycles just having the time of their lives. It really put a smile on my face, simple Americana.

 

[Tiller]

I was born in 85, and grew up here in upstate New York. According to my father the first time I shot a pellet gun was when I was four year old. I honestly don't remember it though. One of the first right of passages around here for most boys is when you go from a BB/pellet gun to a .22. I do remember shooting a .22 when I was about seven. When I turned nine I was given a "kid's bow" and spent many afternoons after school shooting at cardboard targets, and dad's target stop with just my mother watching me out the window. I was given my first jackknife when I was about eight, and I was taught how to use one before then. One of the first arguments I remember having with my father was when he told me I wasn't allowed to bring it to school ("But DAD!!!!!" "No buts boy!").

Most of my childhood memories are of me fishing with my father, trapping, sitting with him well he hunted. I learned to skin deer, fillet fish, and how to properly skin a muskrat. I "whittled" wood because my Grandfather did, rode my bike down the roads with my friends, and started fires in the backyard when my friends came over for "camping". I was around knives, guns, matches, axes, fishing line, fishing hooks and tools, but never ended up hurting anyone or even hurting myself (well no worse then anyone else hurts themselves ).

When I fell off my bike and scrapped my knees my Mother put hydrogen peroxide on it, and my father would laugh if I complained that it hurt. When I cut my finger well using a knife, my father looked it it put some ointment and a bandage on it, and then told me that this would teach me to pay attention to what I was doing. When I tripped and fell down my Mother didn't pick me up hold me tight and give me a thousand kisses, she told me to watch where I was going and I wouldn't wind up on the floor. In my childhood I managed to burn myself, cut myself, fall down, bruise myself, and got into fights with the neighborhood bully because they were teasing someone (which according to my Father was one of the times he was actually proud of me) but still somehow survived to see adulthood.

Kids get hurt. You can cuddle them and promise them that you will take care of them forever and make sure they won't fall again, or when they fall you can tell them to stand up and watch where they are going and to stop crying ("or I'll give you something to cry about"). I know how I will raise my children if I ever have any. You want your kids to respect guns, knives, matches, and tools? Show them what they really do, teach them how, and make them pay attention.

I admit though that I am very blessed. I have a great family, and was born to two people who truly love each other and who wanted kids and prepared for it. I've been very spoiled in many ways.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

As the population increases so has distances. Nowadays it's not just Mom and Dad who have the long commute. Once more, even going to school has become a major trek for many kids especially if they live at the very edge of the school district boundaries. I've known a lot of people who drive their high school age kids to and from school.

Sounds like many of those kids go to "magnet schools" where the "gifted" students don't have to be with the rest in our crumbling public school system...there's also home schooling, which keeps children from interacting with other actual kids.

Computers, video games, home schooling...they're all tools of the overprotective parent.