Book of Etiquette Vol. I and Vol. II by Lillian Eichler (1921)

[Starius]

I originally mentioned this in the 1940 Emily Post thread but I don't want to be rude and hijack it so I'm starting this thread here.

As I mentioned there, if anyone is interested in reading passages out of the Book of Etiquette Vol. I and Vol. II by Lillian Eichler, I'd be happy to transcribe and share some of them here.

Here are the chapter listings to give you an idea:

Vol. I
Part 1
1. Introduction to Etiquette
2. Etiquette's Reward
3. Engagements
4. Wedding Invitations and Announcements
5. Weddings
6. The Bride's Outfit
7. Funerals
8. Christenings

Part 2
1. Introductions
2. Letters of Introduction
3. Calls and Calling Customs
4. Visiting Cards - And Others
5. Invitations
6. Correspondence
7. Parents and Children

Vol. 2
Part 3
1. Servants
2. Dinners
3. Luncheons
4. Teas and Other Entertainments
5. When the Bachelor Entertains
6. Musicals and Private Theatricals
7. Dancing
8. Games and Sports

Part 4
1. Speech
2. Dress
3. The Business Woman
4. On the Street
5. At the Theater and the Opera
6. Hotel Etiquette
7. Travel Etiquette
8. Tipping
9. Etiquette Abroad


BegintheBeguine was curious about "When the Bachelor Entertains" so I will begin with that one shortly.

 

[Starius]

Chapter V - When the Bachelor Entertains

V. When the Bachelor Entertains - p. 76
-When the Bachelor is Host
-Welcoming the Guests
-The Bachelor's Dinner
-Tea at a Bachelor Apartment
-The Bachelor Dance
-Theater Parties
-Yachting Parties



When the Bachelor is Host

Until very recently, the bachelor was rarely a host, was rarely expected to entertain. In fact, some people considered it unconventional to attend a bachelor entertainment. But with the tremendous increase of bachelor apartments and bachelor hotels and even bachelor clubs, it is now quite the usual custom for him to entertain friends at dinner parties, theater parties, teas and in almost any other way which strikes his fancy.

However, no bachelor should invite guests to his home unless he has a full retinue of servants to care for their wants. There should be confusion, no awkwardness. If he is a professional man - an artist, author or musician - he may entertain guests at his studio without servants, except perhaps one to attend to the buffet supper which is most usual st such functions. But that is the only exception; a large entertainment in a bachelor's establishment requires as careful preperation as a fashionable social function in a well-regulated household.

When an unmarried man gives house parties, dinners or entertainments of any kind whatever, he always asks a married woman of his acquaintance to act as chaperon. She should be the first person invited, and the usual method of invitation is a personal call at her home.

Welcoming the Guests

The host recieves his guests at the door, welcoming each one with outstretched hand, and introducing immediately to the chaperon or chaperons those guests whom they do not already know. When the reception is a particularly large one, a man servant usually awaits the guests at the door and the host receives in the drawing room.

The question has arisen on various occasions, whether or not the bachelor is expected to provide dressing-rooms for his guests. If as many as thirty or forty are expected the bed-rooms may be made to serve the purpose of dressing-rooms for the evening. The matter is one entirely dependent upon circumstances and convenience when the entertainment is held in the home of the bachelor himself; but when a large entertainment is given in a hall, dressing-rooms are of course essential.

Very often, when the reception is held in the bachelor's own apartments, where there is only one servant, the chaperon is asked to pour the tea while the host himself serves it. This is a very pretty custom; it certainly lends dignity and impressiveness to the bachelor entertainment to see a charming, matron at the head of the table. And by having the bachelor himself serve the refreshments, a certain companionship and friendliness is created among the guests.



To Be Continued...
-The Bachelor's Dinner
-Tea at a Bachelor Apartment
-The Bachelor Dance
-Theater Parties
-Yachting Parties

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Thank you, Starius, that's very kind. This is what I was looking for: "When an unmarried man gives house parties, dinners or entertainments of any kind whatever, he always asks a married woman of his acquaintance to act as chaperon. She should be the first person invited, and the usual method of invitation is a personal call at her home." Some people were starting to wonder why I was always at my friend's get-togethers and we knew there was etiquette regarding it.

 

[Starius]

V. When the Bachelor Entertains - p. 76 - pt. 2

-The Bachelor's Dinner
-Tea at a Bachelor Apartment
-The Bachelor Dance
-Theater Parties
-Yachting Parties


The Bachelor's Dinner

Although he is not expected to retaliate in the matter of invitations to dinners and luncheons, the bachelor often gives dinner parties. For the host is no less eager to entertain than the hostess, and many unmarried men find keen pleasure in gathering their friends about them for a pleasant evening.

In detail, the bachelor's dinner, formal or informal, is very much like the ordinary dinner. The same holds true of the luncheon or supper party. The menu may be identical, if he pleases; but often an elaborate Chinese, French, or Italian menu is decided upon as a novelty.

If the guests are all gentlemen, one butler may attend to all their wants, including the serving of the courses. But if there are ladies in the party, the chaperon must be present, and perhaps one or two white-capped maids to serve the dinner.

If the dinner is given in honor of a lady, her seat is always at the right of the host at the table. If there is no guest of honor, this place is filled by the matron who is serving as chaperon.

It is she who makes the first move to leave the dining room.

The host must extend cordial thanks to the chaperon when she is ready to depart. It is usually upon her good judgement and influence that the success of the dinner depends, and surely the host owes her a debt of gratitude if everything has run smoothly and pleasantly. He also bids his guests a cordial adieu and graciously accepts their thanks for a pleasant evening.

Music is often provided for the entertainment of the quests after a dinner-party. It is not unusual for the host to obtain the services of well-known professional singers and players for the evening.

Tea at a Bachelor Apartment

The bachelor who feels that he must be hospitable to his friends and entertain them at his home, may safely choose the afternoon tea without apprehension as it is the simplest of entertainments. Of course, a chaperon is necessary, as she is at all his entertainments; but there is less restraint and less formality at a tea than at most any other social function.

Invitations should be issued a week or ten days before the day set for the tea. Guests may include both sexes; bit if there are only gentlemen, they may be invited verbally. The tea is served in the dining-room, of if he wishes, the host may have small tea tables laid out in the drawing-room. A silver tea service is always attractive and pleasing, and the host may pour the beverage if the guests are all gentlemen. If ladies are present, either the chaperon may pour, or a servant. Refreshments should consist of delicate sandwiches, assorted cakes and wafers, salted almonds, confections and tea. If there are some among the guests who do not drink tea, chocolate may be served.

As they depart the bachelor host accompanies each one of his guests to the door bidding him or her a cordial good-by. The chaperon must be especially thanked for her service and shown particular deference. Indeed, her host should accompany her after the reception, to her own door if she is without car or escort.

To Be Continued...
-The Bachelor Dance
-Theater Parties
-Yachting Parties

 

[Starius]

Thank you, Starius, that's very kind. This is what I was looking for: "When an unmarried man gives house parties, dinners or entertainments of any kind whatever, he always asks a married woman of his acquaintance to act as chaperon. She should be the first person invited, and the usual method of invitation is a personal call at her home." Some people were starting to wonder why I was always at my friend's get-togethers and we knew there was etiquette regarding it.

Well, I hope you were well thanked for your chaperon services!

There is a rigid formality to these old etiquette rules that I don't see ever returning in our modern age, but the underlaying principles are still certainly worthwhile and unfortunately rather lacking these days. Just because we are far more informal as a society doesn't mean we shouldn't have respectful etiquette.

 

[Paisley]

Some people might think a chaperon sounds old fashioned. But given the damage that can be done to a man's reputation, rightly or wrongly, it might not be such a bad idea today.

 

[Paisley]

-Tea at a Bachelor Apartment

Invitations should be issued a week or ten days before the day set for the tea. Guests may include both sexes; bit if there are only gentlemen, they may be invited verbally. The tea is served in the dining-room, of if he wishes, the host may have small tea tables laid out in the drawing-room. A silver tea service is always attractive and pleasing, and the host may pour the beverage if the guests are all gentlemen. If ladies are present, either the chaperon may pour, or a servant. Refreshments should consist of delicate sandwiches, assorted cakes and wafers, salted almonds, confections and tea. If there are some among the guests who do not drink tea, chocolate may be served.

A bachelor dinner or yachting party, I can picture. But I'm having a hard time imagining a bunch of guys getting together tea and "delicate sandwiches."

 

[NicolettaRose]

Thank you for posting this, its great information. I have a 1960's version of Emily Post that I keep in my kitchen and love to look at it from time to time.

 

[patrick1987]

Some people might think a chaperon sounds old fashioned. But given the damage that can be done to a man's reputation, rightly or wrongly, it might not be such a bad idea today.

True. I don't want my reputation ruined by a girl who doesn't care about hers.

 

[HadleyH]

Well, I hope you were well thanked for your chaperon services!

You know, everytime I hear the word 'chaperone' I shudder I spend all of my pre- teenage years (and a bit of teenage too) galloping along with my sister behind me because my mother said so :rage: I hated it so much, of course I never thanked her neeedless to say...etiquette my eye lol lol

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Don't despair, I've been thanked.

 

[Diamondback]

Some people might think a chaperon sounds old fashioned. But given the damage that can be done to a man's reputation, rightly or wrongly, it might not be such a bad idea today.

Indeed, you never know when you'll need a character witness or other airtight alibi.

 

[Starius]

A bachelor dinner or yachting party, I can picture. But I'm having a hard time imagining a bunch of guys getting together tea and "delicate sandwiches."

Well, that's a common misconception right there! After a hard day's work of doing manly men things, I like to set aside a day just to be "me" and share a pot of tea with the fellas and share some good quality time on a sunny afternoon.

Well, okay, I kid I kid.

I don't do much manly men things.

 

[Starius]

You know, everytime I hear the word 'chaperone' I shudder I spend all of my pre- teenage years (and a bit of teenage too) galloping along with my sister behind me because my mother said so :rage: I hated it so much, of course I never thanked her neeedless to say...etiquette my eye lol lol

Hah, well, in those kinds of situations I can't imagine your sister was thrilled to be following you about, was she?

I'm surprised there isn't a chapter on dating chaperons in these books, now that I think about it.

 

[Paisley]

Chaperons don't have to sit with the chaperonees.

 

[HadleyH]

I can't imagine your sister was thrilled to be following you about, was she?

You are wrong. She was thrilled.