Are you more of a vintage girl, or a modern girl?

[pigeon toe]

I'm a modern girl that just aspires to look like a vintage girl. I swear and make bawdy jokes just like the boys, play video games, laugh loud, am a big klutz, want to go into business for myself and plan to never cook for my unfortunate future family.

I'm certainly the most feminine of all my friends when it comes to my appearance and some of my behavior (shy and abnormally polite), however, I'm too much of a free spirit to be a "traditional" female.

 

[starla]

I'm pretty much the same way as pigeontoe...I take great pride in being not only female but feminine! I never ever go out of the house without doing my hair and makeup, and I love clothes shopping and feeling pretty!

But I also drink beer, I can be a bit sassy (not mean, but my sense of humor is a little caustic), I listen to a lot of classic rock...

offtopic: I have recently been discovering that I love to cook and experiment with tastes and food, but I'm not very good at it yet. One of my favorite things is cooking for other people, though!)

 

[pigeon toe]

But I also drink beer, I can be a bit sassy (not mean, but my sense of humor is a little caustic), I listen to a lot of classic rock...

Hahah, me too, except I'm more into punk!

 

[Kim_B]

I like hte clothes, the style, and some of hte manners of the old days, but I LOVE the civil rights of the new days

LD

I'm a modern girl that just aspires to look like a vintage girl. I swear and make bawdy jokes just like the boys, play video games, laugh loud, am a big klutz, want to go into business for myself...
I'm certainly the most feminine of all my friends when it comes to my appearance and some of my behavior (shy and abnormally polite), however, I'm too much of a free spirit to be a "traditional" female.

These two statements sum me up...to me, the best of both worlds would be to be a stay-at-home mom who also works from home doing something really creative while still keeping house and looking after the family. That is my dream...

 

[Cherriexo]

Im a bit of both.

I long for the days when women knew how to wash,cook,clean,sew,and everything.I have two books from the 40's and 50's..they teach a Mom how to make clothes for her kids out of her husband's Navy uniform,or make drapes...who does these things nowadays? Id love to.

Im for women having concealed carry permits,and knowing how to defend themelves.To not cower behind their boyfriend's back or depend on their husband to fix everything.We can fix cars just as good as they do.

I feel women can be more than stretch marks,and being out of fashion just because they have kids and a husband.

Because I have such horrible luck with men Im looking forward to a future of no kids and no boyfriend/husband.

So,I would've been a wreck in the '40s!

But I love Mona Lisa Smile's Julia Robert's character,I feel that is so very much me.Why do we have to smile behind a casserole and not continue our education?

 

[LizzieMaine]

I long for the days when women knew how to wash,cook,clean,sew,and everything.I have two books from the 40's and 50's..they teach a Mom how to make clothes for her kids out of her husband's Navy uniform,or make drapes...who does these things nowadays? Id love to.

This is a really good point, I think -- these are skills *everyone* should have, actually, and yet how many kids today are being taught them? I was horrified when my teenage niece told me that she had no idea how to do any cooking beyond throwing something in a microwave -- she can't even fry an egg -- has no idea how to sew anything as simple as a button, and doesn't want to try and do her own washing because "the machine's too complicated." I offered to teach her, but she was "too busy." Besides, she's afraid to handle raw meat because she might get a disease.

*sigh*

Remember the days when these sorts of things were taught in home-ec class? Home Ec is no longer offered at her school, not even in the watered-down "Life Skills" form that existed as recently as ten years ago.

If I ran the world, graduation from high school would require every student to display basic proficiency in such survival skills as elementary cooking, sewing, cleaning, and basic household maintenance. It's got nothing to do with sex roles, and everything to do with being able to take care of one's
self.

 

[thebadmamajama]

I am old-fashioned through and through, and wistful for a past that isn't even mine! I really believe in staying home with your kids and being the mother and stability to a family if that is the path you choose. This conflicts, though, with the wild streak of ambition that I have--I'm heading to grad school for French and have been ferociously fighting for my PhD. I want to be educated, powerful, and independent, but my heart, my fashion, my hospitality, my love for calm cups of tea and old-fashioned evenings, gentlemen, dancing, the mindset of taking time to make things beautiful and welcoming, the focus on family and domesticity make me so much more vintage than modern, especially if you place me (or any of us ladies) on the scale of the "average modern woman" of today. I come from a line of women who have had jobs but have given up everything, HAPPILY, for their families, and even though I'm in a world where that is looked down upon for the most part, I want that because it's what I know and what I was made for.

I've always said, a 90 year old woman in a 21 year old body. That's really all there is to it, although I couldn't trade my hard work and earning my education for anything. So, I'm Dr. Vintage? I've told everyone that my plan is to get my PhD. and then start poppin' out babies and being the retro housewife I've always dreamed of being.

I think LizzieMaine had it right in her first post on this thread.

 

[Cherriexo]

If I ran the world, graduation from high school would require every student to display basic proficiency in such survival skills as elementary cooking, sewing, cleaning, and basic household maintenance. It's got nothing to do with sex roles, and everything to do with being able to take care of one's
self.

Seriously.I couldnt agree more.

I was at a party recently and my friend's leather jacket's sleeve was seperated from the lining in such an embarassing manner.She asked me rather drink induced...'Cherrie,Fix this.You know how to do those types of things.I can barely put a button on a shirt'

My cousin at 16,cant even do laundry.I learned laundry at like I dont know 5th grade because my Dad was a single parent.So I was the only "female touch" in the apartment with my brother and father...THAT was scary

Im convinced the Sexual Revolution ruined it all for some us in some fashion.We're meant to nurture and care for people,and things and yet the Almighty Dollar (or Euro) doesnt allow us to do those things to the BEST of our ability.

For shame.

 

[BonnieJean]

I think I'm more vintage than modern. I used to work in a medical records office and even had my 2 sons at that time. (That's a good way to get all those pregnancy stuff paid for.) Then I lost my sitter and there were NO openings in the area, just waiting lists. I decided to stay home with my boys, ages 5 and 1. My husband just KNEW we'd end up on food stamps without my paycheck. But, I discovered that working outside of the home wasn't cheap. Once you figure in the budget for work clothing, gas, car maintenance and all those convenience foods because I was just "too tired" to cook; I realized that I was working mostly to pay the sitter. So, I honed my cooking skills, sewing skills and tried to master the housework--after 18 years of being home, I still have a somewhat cluttered home. I even homeschooled my kids. Now that they're pretty grown, I've started a business from home creating custom-made old-fashioned wood signs. Its grown over the past year so much that it feels almost like a full-time job. I'm still learning to balance work and home. The best part is that I can dress "vintage" whenever I want. I really like my "home-y" lifestyle, and the extra income I make helps pay for my vintage habit. I can see myself still doing my artwork and being at home years from now.

I, too, have noticed the trend or should I say "non-trend" away from basic homemaking skills with the younger generation. I'm concerned for my sons that their future wives will have very few homemaking skills. Does anyone cook from scratch anymore? I've been encouraged to see some of the younger gals on here are taking up sewing. I really think that a lot of people are turning back to the "old fashioned" values and "things of old are new again".

 

[Helen Troy]

I`m vintage and feminine on the outside, but on the inside I`m VERY modern. I hate it when people jugde me based on my sex, ("As a woman, you are....") and I am not at all conserned if the things I do are considered feminine or not.

I would never dream of staying home if I got kids, other than the maternity leave, (which is quite long here.) I would insist on my husband sharing that leave, though, so he could stay home with the kid half of the leave time. He would want that to, and I think it would be important for the kid as well, getting to know the dad as well as the mom.

When it comes to basic housmaking skills, I totally agree that all people should learn. I cook, (allways from scratch,) sew, I`m good at carpentery and reparations. I share all these skills with my husband, though. He and his male friends are even quite good at sewing. (They have to make their own costumes for LARP.) But when they get together at for their sewing nights, they listen to hard rock and drinks bear when they sew to feel tougher!

The only way I could lead a vintage life would be if I was rich enough to pay for servants to do all the work at home, and I could devote myself to hobbies instead. English lady in at 30s mansion, that could be nice. What a horrible, but happy person I would be!

 

[Sunny]

...I decided to stay home with my boys, ages 5 and 1. My husband just KNEW we'd end up on food stamps without my paycheck. But, I discovered that working outside of the home wasn't cheap. Once you figure in the budget for work clothing, gas, car maintenance and all those convenience foods because I was just "too tired" to cook; I realized that I was working mostly to pay the sitter...

You said just what I was thinking but didn't have the personal experience to state. My own family, though -

My mother and father had been married nearly four years when I was born, as the first child. My mother worked as a computer programmer until that very day, actually. She hasn't "worked" (outside the home) ever since. My dad was even in full-time grad school for five years, not graduating until I was three. Yes, it was lean for a few years, but we made it. My mother homeschooled me and my three brothers from K-12. (Well, Bro. No. 3 is in 11th right now.)

And you know what? We've been fine, financially and in every other way. Homeschooling is not cheap. Imagine buying textbooks, teacher keys included, for every grade and every subject! And we aren't/weren't recluses, sitting in the house and being "unsocialized," the biggest libel of homeschooling. My parents paid for sports, dance, Scouting, advanced classes, dual credit college courses, etc. Takes a lot of money. Two cars, decent house, all this "kid" stuff, even the Civil War reenacting hobby - on one income. Some things we do without, like new cars every year. Our family car was a '73 Buick from about 1984 until 1999. (I drove it until the transmission finally died last fall!) Our "new" car now is a 2001 Camry. Our house is regular, four bedrooms, about 20 years old. Just very average.

*ahem* All I was really trying to say is that it's still completely possible for one family to live on one income. My dad and I carpool with a family friend who's the same way, except that he has eight kids.

As for me, I'm a vintage girl all the way. Sure, there are times when I'm proud of the facts that I'm working for a big company, making good money, have a good college degree, and am working on my master's. But I'd love to have a husband and home and family even more. And I'm not kidding myself that it'd be all sunshine and roses. I know I'd miss being out and having reasons to dress up as much. I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'll have it all. I'm just working at being content where I am, whether at work or at home, even though my heart longs to be at home the most.

 

[GoldLeaf]

Vintage vs modern is alot more than just staying home. Values were very different. I would hate to have to be subservient to a man. I want to be able to contribute to conversation rather than wait for the men to finish speaking. The glass ceiling is still in effect, although its not as bad as it used to be. I feel that my skills should be valued as much as a man's and I don't think there should be a limit on the careers or positions I should be able to have.

Family values are important, and I am more old fashioned than I ever thought I would be.

I sound alot like the rest of the girls.

I am very independant, and for many years I was proud of how un-feminine I was. I was a punk and I held my own with the boys. I can be loud and boisterous and over the top, quiet and demure has never suited me. I thought I was liberal through and through and that I would never EVER want to stay home with kiddies.

Now I am trying to get pregnant, and I think I would love to stay home. My mom stayed home with me until I went to school. She took advantage of the time by earning her master's degree. I think I am better off because of the time she spent with me, I learned alot of basics - cooking, sewing, etc. I would love to be able to give my kids a good start, I think that is the best way to give back to a world that I have taken so much from.

But the way things have worked out, I make more than double what my hubby does right now, so there is no way we could survive on one income. We tried to figure it out when I wanted to go to seminary, and what he makes doesn't even pay the basic bills. ::sigh::

So I am a mix of vintage and modern. I don't think I would fit in very well if I time traveled. I would never be able to be demure enough to be a vintage lady, but I do quite well as a modern lady.

 

[pigeon toe]

Im convinced the Sexual Revolution ruined it all for some us in some fashion.We're meant to nurture and care for people,and things and yet the Almighty Dollar (or Euro) doesnt allow us to do those things to the BEST of our ability.

For shame.

I don't think the Sexual Revolution is to blame for anything, but rather the fact that the patriarchy co-opted women's newfound freedom of sexuality and turned it into something for themselves. So instead of women's pleasure being of the upmost value, it was how women's openness can benefit men. Hence, the hyper-sexualized images of women in media, etc.

Well, that was a little off topic. I was gonna connect it to something, but I just woke up!

You're totally right about the government/economy preventing women from doing "women's work" (being a stay-at-home mom, etc.) and devaluing those who choose to do so. There was a big debate in my women's studies course about whether stay at home mothers should be paid by the government for what they do since it's such an important part in society. The fact that so many people said no right off the bat just shows how many people don't appreciate the sacrifices of so many women.

 

[pretty faythe]

You're totally right about the government/economy preventing women from doing "women's work" (being a stay-at-home mom, etc.) and devaluing those who choose to do so.

As I stated earlier, I consider myself more modern, yet trying to embrase some of the mroe vintage things. Pigeon Toe stated how the gov/eco preventws woman doing womans work and devalue it. Let us not also forget the women who work in the "male dominated fields" (miliatry, construction) and have to fight for their rights there. Its basically the same as back in the 30s/40s when women started working in the male dominated fields back then also (military, journalism, law jobs).

I'm sure they had their own discussions about who thought themselves more of a vintage lady and modern themselves. I'm sure this is a discussion that will still be around 2067 when vintage for them will be our current trends.

 

[Rosie]

I am a mixture of both I would suppose. Most people who know me would consider me to be a bit old fashioned (at least compared to them) but, that is just a part of who I am. I would love to be a stay at home mom if I ever marry and have children but, I have very modern thoughts also. I work, have always worked, have two masters, am continuously trying to climb the career ladder, in many ways, I enjoy being a single, independent woman. [huh]

 

[JazzBaby]

I must confess, I'm such a modern girl......
I don't want to be a mom ever, and there's no way for me to ever be a housewife. And I just don't really behave like a vintage girl would all the time... I just can't...
But, I like the 20's, and I think, I would be a great flapper So maybe, I'm a bit vintage somehow, if that counts(?)



Naama

That's me down to a T! Flappers had the most fun...

 

[Paisley]

My sensibilities and mores are definitely vintage.

As for being independent, single women over a certain age used to be called "maiden aunts" or "adventuresses" or simply "unmarried." I'm thinking of Ruth Harkness, Amelia Earhart and Julia Morgan). Single or married, most women worked pretty darn hard. Most of them even looked pretty good doing it.

Today, a lot of women go beyond hard work to running themselves ragged. They're doing it not only while young, but into middle age, raising a family and building a career in their 30s and 40s. (My Aunt Helen had her two daughters out of the house when she was 35). They're expected to go beyond looking good to looking hot. They're expected to have all the accoutrements of success whether they can afford them or not. Oh, and they're expected to be an open book--no secrets.

I'd rather be a vintage maiden aunt. I'm too lazy to be a careerist and don't care about acquiring a big house and SUV. I like a simpler life and I like my privacy.

 

[Cherriexo]

You're totally right about the government/economy preventing women from doing "women's work" (being a stay-at-home mom, etc.) and devaluing those who choose to do so. There was a big debate in my women's studies course about whether stay at home mothers should be paid by the government for what they do since it's such an important part in society. The fact that so many people said no right off the bat just shows how many people don't appreciate the sacrifices of so many women.

I would have a problem with giving funding to stay-at-home moms like some sort of tax cut or prize money for getting knocked up.Im single I worked 3 jobs at once,and recieved no WIC or food stamps.I dont feel my taxes should go for someone with 5 kids that wants to stay at home.My sister was a single mom in law school,she DEPENDED on WIC for milk and bread but she was BETTERING her situation by being in law school.

Half the women at my job are knocked up with or without wedding rings,and Im tired of feeling like I should be supportive or give them money for the path they chose.No one gives me money for being single! But if I had a problem keeping my legs shut,Id get paid leave for 4 months and all these perks (like unlawful better parking in parking lots...thats right girls,you can park in those courtesy preggy spots,local and state law enforcement cannot tow your car!)

As the saying goes,you made your bed now sleep in it.

Let the hate pms begin

 

[Tough Cookie]

Cherriexo: roflol!

I guess I consider myself a modern woman, by this definition of modern. I am grateful to have the options and freedoms and rights and the paygrade that simply was not available back then.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

As the saying goes,you made your bed now sleep in it.

Let the hate pms begin

How about we steer this back on track to the topic.....

Whether or not we are more vintage or just like the clothes....

and not deal with the governmental side of all this...or how we personally feel about these things.....

I'll start...

I am definatly more modern in my thinking, but that does not make me not vintage......

Things can be combined and mixed and taken on a 'topic by topic' basis....