are we becoming too self-centered?

[LizzieMaine]

I think hand in hand with the self-centered spoiled-brattedness is the loss of the concept of *shame.* When Babs Hutton blew 60 grand parading herself before the swells, the ridicule she got shamed her -- and for a little while at least she toned it down. There are a lot of people like that in the modern world who could stand a good, sound, public shaming.

 

[Gregg Axley]

Unfortunately Lizzie, some in the news invite it, almost seek it out daily!
Hence the birth of the Reality show, which has been mentioned here before.

 

[filfoster]

I think hand in hand with the self-centered spoiled-brattedness is the loss of the concept of *shame.* When Babs Hutton blew 60 grand parading herself before the swells, the ridicule she got shamed her -- and for a little while at least she toned it down. There are a lot of people like that in the modern world who could stand a good, sound, public shaming.

Yes, yes. And please tell me how, in a society hyper sensitive to the self esteem and feelings of everyone, that this concept will EVER re-assert itself? This baby has been tossed with the bathwater.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The culture of the Era has been referred to as a "culture of Ought," as in "you do things not because there's a written law telling you to do so, but because you know you *ought* to." That's what we need to bring back -- the sense that we should do things because we *ought to,* instead of "I don't have to do that if I don't want to."

 

[filfoster]

The culture of the Era has been referred to as a "culture of Ought," as in "you do things not because there's a written law telling you to do so, but because you know you *ought* to." That's what we need to bring back -- the sense that we should do things because we *ought to,* instead of "I don't have to do that if I don't want to."

And so, voices in the chorus of the death knell of shame and other useful social conventions that are now passe. Too bad.

Perhaps some more visionary Loungers can provide a candle of hope with some watershed event or trend not visible to the rest of us that will reverse this slough.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

I think you've got it with the baby in bathwater, filfoster. There were an awful lot of those "oughts" (oughtta know yer place, oughtta put up with BS behaviour from someone just because they were older than you, etc. etc.) which are better gone. But the useful behaviours - like simply trying to be nice to people, or at least not downright nasty - that have been tossed by too many of us along with the silly ones.

 

[Fletch]

I think hand in hand with the self-centered spoiled-brattedness is the loss of the concept of *shame.* When Babs Hutton blew 60 grand parading herself before the swells, the ridicule she got shamed her -- and for a little while at least she toned it down. There are a lot of people like that in the modern world who could stand a good, sound, public shaming.

It's already beginning with cats and dogs.

Of course, back in the day it was mostly whispering campaigns, and it could happen to anybody who was a little too loosely wound, or too much of an original, or showed kindness to the wrong people. That's the backside of community.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Shame is alive and well. It's what people without it do to those who do have it.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Shaming has to proceed from a position of respected authority -- which is why cat shaming cannot succeed. Cats shaming humans, on the other hand, is a concept well worth promoting.

 

[St. Louis]

Part of the issue here is that there is a very different interpretation of "rights," some of it quite positive (more people have legal and constitutional rights now, in the post Brown v. Board-Era, than did during the 1930s and 1940s) and some of it regrettable (a sense of entitlement to perfect comfort, fulfillment, and a constant careful attention to one's self-esteem.)

I do believe that the idea of rights has to include a sense of duty. That's one thing I think has been lost in the modern era. I see this at my job quite often--I have quite a few coworkers who are appalled at the idea that they ought to do all of their work just because they're being paid. Granted, my employer does not pay well, so there's a legitimate gripe here, but the very idea that one is supposed to do one's duty simply because one has agreed to draw a paycheck (however lousy) is seriously out of date. I wouldn't actually say this out loud because I'm convinced that some of my coworkers would consider that a direct personal attack.

To pull this together, I think the idea that one has a right to self-fulfillment and comfort (i.e., not having to wait for anything; not having to forego anything because someone else might need it; having to do what's difficult or annoying just because it's expected) is a fairly new development.

 

[fashion frank]

The other day I saw a bumbersticker on a car that was dropping off their little rich kid at the private school across from where I work, and it read " I ( heart symbol) my spoiled ,rotten ungratefull children " , and I of course laughed .

The real point here is that all manner of civility is gone,as one poster stated " I held the door and the person looked at me funny".

If people were more civil towards each other like it used to be, people would be reminded of their bad manners because everyone else is acting civil towards everyone else and now that your not you "stick out' so to speak ..

If we all are acting like animals then the rules go out the window and here we are!

All the Best ,Fashion Frank

 

[LizzieMaine]

I do believe that the idea of rights has to include a sense of duty. That's one thing I think has been lost in the modern era. I see this at my job quite often--I have quite a few coworkers who are appalled at the idea that they ought to do all of their work just because they're being paid. Granted, my employer does not pay well, so there's a legitimate gripe here, but the very idea that one is supposed to do one's duty simply because one has agreed to draw a paycheck (however lousy) is seriously out of date. I wouldn't actually say this out loud because I'm convinced that some of my coworkers would consider that a direct personal attack.

And yet these are usually the same kind of people who'll rant and scream and threaten to sue if they don't get EXACTLY WHAT THEY PAID FOR in any kind of business transaction. Goose, meet gander.

 

[Feraud]

Self-centered people have always existed. It certainly feels like society, through media advertising and the acceptance of social medias as the acceptable form of socializing, has brought the bad habit to a new and mainstream low.

 

[Edward]

Self-centered people have always existed. It certainly feels like society, through media advertising and the acceptance of social medias as the acceptable form of socializing, has brought the bad habit to a new and mainstream low.

Agreed. Humanity is about as bad as ever it was.... we just live in an age which facilitates it perhaps moreso. Much as I claim to like people keeping to themselves, it's tremendously useful to know if somebody is a racist, a bigot, holds political views I find unacceptable, or whatever as early as possible. It's terribly disappointing to waste time liking someone and then find out they're a monster. Better let them let it slip early on.

 

[nice hat dude!]

Just to play Devil's Advocate,if we all really take a look at it from a different perspective are we not each the center of our own universe or our own world,life,existence what ever word you choose,to some this would mean self centered would it not?Just a little food for thought.

 

[TomS]

We are, no doubt.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Just to play Devil's Advocate,if we all really take a look at it from a different perspective are we not each the center of our own universe or our own world,life,existence what ever word you choose,to some this would mean self centered would it not?Just a little food for thought.

There's a difference between being "centered" and self-centered meaning you don't acknowledge that you share the world with others who are to be treated with respect and consideration.

 

[nice hat dude!]

There's a difference between being "centered" and self-centered meaning you don't acknowledge that you share the world with others who are to be treated with respect and consideration.

Hey young lady long time,you're quite correct but at the same time our individual existence is centered around ourselves 1st before the outside world ala self centered(haha).And I did say I was playing Devil's Advocate?

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Hey young lady long time,you're quite correct but at the same time our individual existence is centered around ourselves 1st before the outside world ala self centered(haha).And I did say I was playing Devil's Advocate?

Hello.

I'm saying you can be both- a person who is centered- knows who she/he is- and can therefore have integrity, and want what's right and best for YOU while, at the same time, not expecting the world/others to cater to those desires/wants/needs. Otherwise, it is narcissistic. Perhaps that would have been a better term for this thread?

 

[nice hat dude!]

Hello.

I'm saying you can be both- a person who is centered- knows who she/he is- and can therefore have integrity, and want what's right and best for YOU while, at the same time, not expecting the world/others to cater to those desires/wants/needs. Otherwise, it is narcissistic. Perhaps that would have been a better term for this thread?

That word works better for me but that's only my opinion and it doesn't have any bearing on the subject anyways.How have you been?you sound a little more cheerful?