are we becoming too self-centered?

[reetpleat]

I'm not too self centered, and I really haven't taken the time out of my busy life to critique others for their abundance or dearth of ego.

Now, MY opinion- which thanks to forums like this one, my opions are now freely available for the enlightenment and betterment of the rest of mankind- is that no one balances rugged individualism, single-minded self aggrandization, independent spirit, and the good ol' trail blazer attitude better than your truly!

To the other question posited: Is self centeredness bad?
Why no, works great for me, but I wonder about the physics involved. How would it be possible for all those people in orbit around me in my universe to also be self centered? Seems like it would throw the whole wonderful whirly gig out of true.

That's not my two cents, that's my eight pounds of pure gold!

Now that that's all cleared up, bartenders can close the thread.

I don't feel the need for anything else to be added. I know I have gotten all I need from this thread, and I will never revisit it.

In fact, if it wasn't for the posterity of recording my musings, I would say just delete it.

I am off to tell my mute wife about my day and give her her allowance.

I get it. Well done.

 

[reetpleat]

I think people don't really get it. Self esteem is knowing who you are and feeling good about it. Holding yourself in high esteem. It is the insecure people with low self esteem who are arrogant, bullies, the hitlers and stalins of the world who need to place their needs over others to try and feel better about themselves.

People who truly value themselves take pride in caring about others and giing of themselves. They value the humanity ain themselves and others.

They are the most giving loving people in the world.

Those who are selfish, disconnect form others, and expect the world torevolve around them have truly low self esteem.

Teaching our kids to feel good about themselves for the right reasons is important now more than ever.

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

Indeed...

nar¬?cis¬?sism - Excessive love or admiration of oneself / self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem / fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development... In fact, sounds quite the opposite of self-reliance. Perhaps, at least with those I've met who're most extremely narcissistic, it's not an actual lack of reliance on others that said folks posess, but rather a lack of appreciation of others, creating a Self-Proclaimed (but imagined) sense of self-reliance, when the truth is quite the opposite.

I agree with you hear Hepcat.
I know people who have pretty big trust funds. They live off of these funds, and although they have jobs, they wouldn't be able to live the lifestyle that they live without said trusts. They think because they work that they are not reliant on others, they pride themselves on the high life they live and that they don't take money from mommy and daddy to live it. However, where they are wrong, they are taking money from mommy and daddy, and granny and granpa too. Hard earned money that was saved just for them so they would have something to fall back on if times got rough, or when they really needed it. So although outsiders see their nice condo's and their BMW's and think "hey that kid really made it", really they couldn't survive without relying on the hard earned money of family members now gone. Some of the people I know who are in these situations are incredibly unappreciative. I think they think it's a normal occurrence for a kid of 21 to come into a trust fund. They live life to the fullest, yet they never stop to think that they possibly wouldn't be living near the kind of life that they live if it hadn't been for the incredibly hard work of the family members who left them the money. IMO, I think too many people nowadays expect things to be given to them, they expect handouts. They have had these hand outs all their lives, so why would they start appreciating them now, if they never appreciated them before. They don't know any different....

I thought this question was answered half way through our generation. Yes, we have become too self centered and narsissism is a way of life. We encourage people to have "self esteem" as if it were the most important concept in life. I never hear anyone say that someone has too much "self esteem". They say the person is a "go-getter" or "lives life to the fullest".
Another self centered display is all the "never give up on your dreams" bull that is fed to everyone. I think most people should give up on their dreams. They are unreachable and usually make the person feel like a failure because they can't achieve that goal or dream or whatever they want to call it. It usually means don't let anyone get in your way of your goals and that means get self centered and elbow your way through life. Does not work, at least for me.[huh]

I've got to disagree with you on this one.I think it's so important to never give up on your dreams. Yes, disappointment may come from dreaming, but great reward can too.
Some people may dream too big, but others are dreaming of things that are fully attainable with a lot of will and possibly a bit of luck.
Yes, you should have goals. IMO, life would be much too ho hum without them. No, you shouldn't let anybody get in the way of you achieving what you want to achieve. Your ultimate success should be a priority on your list. This only becomes a matter of self centerdness when you decide that your goal is the only goal, and you prevent others from succeeding and reaching their goals. Success in life is important to me. This doesn't mean that others success is not. But at the end of the day I have to live my life, I have to set goals and have dreams. Everybody's dreams are different. What may seem small to you or I, could be gigantic to someone else.
So to attain a goal or "live the dream" is not to be self centered, it's to live your life. Like I said, as long as you're not preventing someone else from living their life, what's the harm in it?

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

I think people don't really get it. Self esteem is knowing who you are and feeling good about it. Holding yourself in high esteem. It is the insecure people with low self esteem who are arrogant, bullies, the hitlers and stalins of the world who need to place their needs over others to try and feel better about themselves.

People who truly value themselves take pride in caring about others and giing of themselves. They value the humanity ain themselves and others.

They are the most giving loving people in the world.

Those who are selfish, disconnect form others, and expect the world torevolve around them have truly low self esteem.

Teaching our kids to feel good about themselves for the right reasons is important now more than ever.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap Well said, that's all I can say!:eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Orgetorix]

Are we too much more self-centered than previous generations? Has self-esteem turned into narcissism?

Is it more narcissistic to ask this question, or not to ask it?

 

[Bebop]

I agree with you hear Hepcat.
I know people who have pretty big trust funds. They live off of these funds, and although they have jobs, they wouldn't be able to live the lifestyle that they live without said trusts. They think because they work that they are not reliant on others, they pride themselves on the high life they live and that they don't take money from mommy and daddy to live it. However, where they are wrong, they are taking money from mommy and daddy, and granny and granpa too. Hard earned money that was saved just for them so they would have something to fall back on if times got rough, or when they really needed it. So although outsiders see their nice condo's and their BMW's and think "hey that kid really made it", really they couldn't survive without relying on the hard earned money of family members now gone. Some of the people I know who are in these situations are incredibly unappreciative. I think they think it's a normal occurrence for a kid of 21 to come into a trust fund. They live life to the fullest, yet they never stop to think that they possibly wouldn't be living near the kind of life that they live if it hadn't been for the incredibly hard work of the family members who left them the money. IMO, I think too many people nowadays expect things to be given to them, they expect handouts. They have had these hand outs all their lives, so why would they start appreciating them now, if they never appreciated them before. They don't know any different....


I've got to disagree with you on this one.I think it's so important to never give up on your dreams. Yes, disappointment may come from dreaming, but great reward can too.
Some people may dream too big, but others are dreaming of things that are fully attainable with a lot of will and possibly a bit of luck.
Yes, you should have goals. IMO, life would be much too ho hum without them. No, you shouldn't let anybody get in the way of you achieving what you want to achieve. Your ultimate success should be a priority on your list. This only becomes a matter of self centerdness when you decide that your goal is the only goal, and you prevent others from succeeding and reaching their goals. Success in life is important to me. This doesn't mean that others success is not. But at the end of the day I have to live my life, I have to set goals and have dreams. Everybody's dreams are different. What may seem small to you or I, could be gigantic to someone else.
So to attain a goal or "live the dream" is not to be self centered, it's to live your life. Like I said, as long as you're not preventing someone else from living their life, what's the harm in it?

Being realistic about your dreams or goals. That is what I think is needed in order to not become self centered while acheiving them. An example of what I mean would be the person that has a dream and the goal to become a Doctor yet can't get into any university because of horrible grades. That person should get real and quit chasing that dream or goal. Another example would be the horrible singers that parade through American Idol. They have dreams and goals of being the next big singer and they actually believe that they can sing better than anyone. They can't hear themselves. They should give up on their dreams and realize they have no talent and their dream needs to change. If you have watched that show, you can see that these people basically spit in the face of anyone that tells them they stink. How much more self centered can you get? I'm not talking about someone who has a goal that is obtainable. Of course you should try to achieve in life. We just should not say "never give up on your dreams" across the board. We should say that to certain people, not to everyone that has a dream.

 

[Paisley]

Even in cases where a person has a realizable dream, there can be so much competition that unless you are very driven and well-connected, you should consider doing it as a hobby.

Another consideration: what does your dream cost the people who depend on you?

 

[PrettySquareGal]

A new analysis of the American Freshman Survey, which has accumulated data for the past 47 years from 9 million young adults, reveals that college students are more likely than ever to call themselves gifted and driven to succeed, even though their test scores and time spent studying are decreasing...

On Facebook, young people can fool themselves into thinking they have hundreds or thousands of “friends.” They can delete unflattering comments. They can block anyone who disagrees with them or pokes holes in their inflated self-esteem. They can choose to show the world only flattering, sexy or funny photographs of themselves (dozens of albums full, by the way), “speak” in pithy short posts and publicly connect to movie stars and professional athletes and musicians they “like.”

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/08/are-raising-generation-deluded-narcissists/

 

[Dixon Cannon]

One may find their answer here: http://marsexxx.com/ycnex/Ayn_Rand-The_Virtue_of_Selfishness.pdf

-dixon cannon

 

[vitanola]

One may find their answer here: http://marsexxx.com/ycnex/Ayn_Rand-The_Virtue_of_Selfishness.pdf

-dixon cannon

I believe you've hit the nail on the head, Mr. Cannon. We've gone in three generations from"The Sermon on the Mount" to "Atlas Shrugged", which tends to read like a sociopath's bible.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

I Love Me (I'm Wild About Myself) (1923)

When people write their songs of love
They write of one another
It's always Sis or Ma or Pa
Or Sweetheart or a Brother
The love songs that they've aimed at me
Have all gone on the shelf
I don't think that is fair for now
I'll write one of myself

I love me, I love me
I love myself to death
I love me, I love me
Till I'm all out of breath
I stop at every slot machine
That I should chance to pass
And give myself a hug and squeeze
As I look in the glass

I love me, I love me
I'm wild about sweet me
I love me, only me
So I'm content, you see
I like myself with such delight
I take me right straight home each night
And sleep with me till broad daylight
I'm wild about myself

I love me, I love me
Every place I go
I love me, I love me
And at a movie show
I take myself right by my arm
And push me through the crowd
And listen to myself read me
The titles right out loud

I love me, I love me
I love to squeeze my hand
I love me, I love me
It always feels so grand
With me I get right in my tub
I let myself give me a rub
Oh, how I love to feel me scrub
I'm wild about myself

I love me, I love me
I'm wild about myself
I love me, I love me
My picture's on my shelf
May not think I look so good
But me thinks I'm just fine
It's grand when I look in my eyes
And know that I'm all mine

I love me, I love me
And my love doesn't bore
Day by day and every way
I love me more and more
I take me to a quiet place
I put my arms around my waist
If me gets fresh I slap my face
I'm wild about myself

 

[vitanola]

HI HI HI

Whillikers!

How apropos.

I haven't played that record for YEARS!

Twenty-five years ago that was one of my more popular numbers, I'd be asked to sing it almost every week when we were playing.

 

[John in Covina]

Self centered-ness is certainly on the rise as is a total disregard to those that are around one's self whether driving or shopping at Walmart.

 

[Gregg Axley]

I'll agree with you on this John.
That's why we shop as soon as the store opens, or go at 6am if the store is a 24hr.
Especially during the flu season!
It's funny to see the reaction of people when I hold the door for them, as I'm going into a building or going out.
Almost a look of surprise.
Facebook and myspace hasn't helped the situation.
...so you are washing clothes, or doing something else you should be doing without everyone else's approval...there is no need to tell everyone

 

[filfoster]

To the original post: Yes, yes and yes. The material and technological advantages we enjoy are catalysts. We can't go back, but I hope quite a few of us are aware of this and try to overcome it as best we can.

 

[ThemThereEyes]

Self centered-ness is certainly on the rise as is a total disregard to those that are around one's self whether driving or shopping at Walmart.

Just the other day, my coworker saw a man in one of those scooters run into a man pushing a cart. He hit him in such a way that he fell, and even though he was able to grab the edge of the frozen meats bunker, he fell hard and it managed to knock over his cart. The man on the scooter kept on as if nothing happened.

 

[missjo]

Yes I think we are.
We are living in a society of consumers and individualism.
In olden days we were told we should know our place, we were part of communities, families, neighbourhoods while today in big cities its a miracle if you even know your neighbours.
In stead of teachers and parents telling us we are part of something, today we're being told that we're individuals and that we need to develop ourselves.
Add to that Ipads, tvs and computers and you have a society where people don't talk to the other people in the train and when they come home they don't even eat together and parents and children sometimes rarely speak because they all spend the evening watching their own little screen in their own room.

We're spoiled rotten and people are self obsessed.

You see this kind of behaviour in the past as well, but in olden days you mostly saw it with the rich kids who had too much time and too much money to spend.

 

[St. Louis]

That's true. There were wealthy "poor little rich girl" debutantes who spent lavishly on their coming-out balls during the depression. But they were sharply criticized both in newspapers and in popular culture. I'm thinking of Brenda Frazier, who was mocked in a Rogers & Hart song titled Disgustingly Rich. Then there was Barbara Hutton, who spent $60,000 on her debut in 1930 and became a public scandal. These young women may have been silly, spoiled, and selfish, but they didn't actually get away with it. I'm not saying that I think people should be publicly ridiculed (I don't approve of cruelty in any form) but perhaps society and culture was more aware of the moral problems involved. I know that current "celebutantes" catch flak for their behavior, but their drunk driving and icky videos don't seem to stop them from being invited to appear on every variety of vulgar TV programs. In other words, it seems to me that they're rewarded for their inappropriate behavior.

(Do I sound like a grandma or what?)

 

[PrettySquareGal]

(Do I sound like a grandma or what?)

Yes, and we'd get along just fine, I think!

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

while today in big cities its a miracle if you even know your neighbours.

Trouble is that there are areas nowadays where you don't WANT to know your neighbours.