Anyone else ever feel like this?

[Fleur De Guerre]

^ I'm with you on that. I met the most stunning woman yesterday and she wasn't wearing a scrap of make up. If she hadn't been so lovely I'd have wanted to sick in my mouth a little.

Ha! She was sickeningly beautiful with no makeup on wasn't she? Not to mention perfectly slim despite 2 kids... which she didn't look old enough to have!

I also feel vile without makeup on...which isn't to say I won't nip out without any on - I do. But I don't like it.

Here's a little anecdote about why I love being all put together with good hair, makeup and my style intact. I recently spent two days being an extra on a new big budget WWI movie. We had no makeup on, and our hair was 'styled' to look greasy and windblown. When I went for my costume fitting, I was told to have no makeup then, but I did wear my 50s cat eye glasses when I met the assistant director.

I went home after the first day on set (during which I wore contacts) without having my wage docket signed, and when I went up to the same AD the next morning (who had personally handed me the slip the day before and actually told me off for not collecting it upon arrival, plus had spoken to me a couple of times during the day) whilst wearing my glasses he looked surprised and said 'Oh, I didn't see you here yesterday'! So essentially I was completely unnoticeable without my glasses on! I was completely taken aback, because throughout my life from teenage years, due to always having a specific and rather eye-catching 'look' (be it grunge, metal, rockabilly or vintage), I have always been the one people know instantly by sight, even to say hello to me when I don't have the foggiest clue who they are!!

All this just goes to show that without my carefully perfected makeup and 40s hairdos I am just a very plain and unremarkable girl. And vain as it is, I hate that idea! But if I can use makeup and styling to create some sort of beauty, then so can everyone. Thus I still agree with the Helena Rubenstein quote.

 

[Honey Bee]

I think there's something to be said for both sides in the Helena Rubenstien argument, if you disregard her use of the word "ugly," which is frankly a bit too strong for my taste. What she was trying to get at is that anyone can be well-put-together if they try, that looking good isn't something that's only reserved for people who are "born gorgeous." The word "Lazy", however, gets my hackles up.

Me, I'm middle-aged, have chronic dark circles under my eyes, my waist is too big, my chest is too small, and I have unfortunate teeth. When I first get out of bed in the morning I look like hell on toast, and there are times when I couldn't care less if I do. I spent this morning scrubbing the floor, washing dishes, and going to the dump. I'm wearing a head rag, no makeup, a ripped housedress with a patch on the backside, and worn-out shoes, and I'm not about to get all primped up on the off chance that my dream man might be operating the garbage compactor, or might come to my back door selling magazine subscriptions.

It's not that I'm not trying, it's that I'm at the point in my life where I realize there *are* times where I don't *have to* bother. Doesn't make me lazy at all -- it just means I've arrived at the point in life where I'm comfortable picking my battles. When the circumstances mean it's important that I do try, I go at it as thoroughly as anyone, and given what I've got to work with I think I clean up pretty well.

Oooo...are you really me?!?!?!
Yes, I do agree the word ugly is too strong but I get her drift
But back to the original post, if you aren't feeling well i your soul then nothing on the outside will make it better...but when you do feel good inside then the outside certainly shines

 

[Land-O-LakesGal]

I think there's something to be said for both sides in the Helena Rubenstien argument, if you disregard her use of the word "ugly," which is frankly a bit too strong for my taste. What she was trying to get at is that anyone can be well-put-together if they try, that looking good isn't something that's only reserved for people who are "born gorgeous." The word "Lazy", however, gets my hackles up.
.

Lizzie its the Lazy part that got me too. I am married with two kids and I work full time. I am not being lazy on those days that I don't wear makeup or do my hair I am usually being busy.

 

[Claireg]

So essentially I was completely unnoticeable without my glasses on! I was completely taken aback, because throughout my life from teenage years, due to always having a specific and rather eye-catching 'look' (be it grunge, metal, rockabilly or vintage), I have always been the one people know instantly by sight, even to say hello to me when I don't have the foggiest clue who they are!!

All this just goes to show that without my carefully perfected makeup and 40s hairdos I am just a very plain and unremarkable girl. And vain as it is, I hate that idea! But if I can use makeup and styling to create some sort of beauty, then so can everyone. Thus I still agree with the Helena Rubenstein quote.

Ha ha - I know this so well Fleur..
You summed that up so well.
i have been a little lazier lately, after a few months of very put together hair, clothes and makeup for work i had a couple of days of un curled hair and modern clothes.
I was asked by almost everyone.. "are you ok? Are you sick, you dont look quite right"
It just affirmed to me that people definitly notice.
It is vain I know, but I love people thinking I have "style" and I feel 100% more confident and attractive if i make an effort.
Saying that though - i also enjoy throwing off the heels and peeling off the pencil skirt to loung around in my trackies at the end of the day!

 

[Miss Scarlet]

I'm bringing this thread up again because I'm feeling bleh!

For the last couple of weeks I've been working making Christmas decorations on a farm for Harrods and other big shop displays. I haven't been wearing vintage clothes at all because I haven't expanded my wardrobe enough yet to allow for some to get ruined and thus haven't set my hair or done vintage hair styles for two weeks because it just doesn't look right.

It's silly because it has only been two weeks, but I feel like I've lost my identity. I feel as though I don't put any effort into the way I look at all, purely because I'm not dressing vintage. I feel as though I've let myself down by not staying true to my style, but it just isn't practical at the moment. I haven't worn make up because my face just gets dirty and glittery and my pores have been clogged up enough by the dust, haven't painted my nails because it gets chipped off in the first 5 minutes and have started blow drying my hair straight, which I haven't done in about 8 months, unless I've cut my hair and had to check the length. Silly thing is I actually look the same as everyone else.......and hate it.

I wondered if anyone else has experience this loss of identity? And especially the ridiculously short amount of time it can happen in.

 

[Miss sofia]

Totally, i have split my lip, so wearing any red lipstick has been out of the question for the last week and i feel totally lost without it, not to mention looking like the wreck of the hesperus with a fat lip, so in turn i have toned down my clothes, not set my hair, just straightened it, just lost the urge to make an effort like i normally do as i feel pretty grotty really. Silly i suppose, but i do understand, i'm going to paint my toenails tonight though, and do some girlie bits as this behaviour has got to stop!

 

[Nomanolo]

I think people tend to dress the way they feel. State of mind makes the outfit.

Lately I've been turning this around. In stead of looking bad when i feel bad, I try to look good to make me feel better. And I must say it actually works. I don't wanna get caught in a downwords spiral.

Creating the 'vintage' look isn't easy, it takes a lot of time for most people. Putting on sweatpants an a T is very easy. Maybe people should find a 'middle' way. Find yourself some nice dresses that instantly make you look hot as soon as you put them on. That way it's less of an effort, but you can still look good!

And since looking good makes you feel better... feeling better gives you energy, and you can use that energy to dress up again lol

 

[Kishtu]

Must admit I'm not dressing vintage at the mo - 2 month old Small still drinking at the Mummy Bar, if you get me, and most of the dresses I made pre-Small are summer wear - but the make-up has stayed....

Actually I am lucky enough to look fine without make-up, but for me it's more about the act of drawing on eyebrows and painting lips.... it's part of the ritual that says I'm ready to face the world.
I have a theory that for a lot of women cosmetics are a mask between what they are and what they would like the world to see them as - not what they necessarily see themselves as.
(Someone once put the v. interesting suggestion to me that goths, frinstance, deliberately impose cosmetics as a barrier between themselves and the world. Difficult to say a woman is ugly who is mostly kohl from hairline to upper lip.... how do you know??)

 

[RosebudMarie]

As a SAHM with 2 boys, 3 cats, 1 dog and a hubby who needs me, I can relate. That happens to be one reason I want to make/buy some cute 40's housedresses that are easy on in the morning. I've found it's also easy doing my hair if I am just taking out rollers and adding a few bobby pins to style.

As for makeup - I do that for me, to remind myself I am female. It takes little time for a little lippy and mascara! I don't go 'all out vintage' just yet, but I pick and choose a few things here and there according to what I feel like doing. I guess I need to do this for myself, to help me relax and recharge.

 

[annet]

i know what you mean. i had a LOT of issues with low self-esteem, and it took me twenty years of my life to start dressing the way i wanted to, instead of dressing to disappear.

now, when i feel bad about myself for some reason, i tend to slip back into my old uniform (jeans and t-shirts) and it makes me feel even worse. i go back into disappearing again and i hate it. my boyfriend is currently on a long trip, and the first week or so when he was gone, i just couldn't be bothered to even put on a dress. but then i pulled myself together again and started wearing my most comfortable dresses and skirts, and now i'm back to normal!

as for the quote: it all depends on different standards of beauty. a lot of people don't like women who are overly dolled up, and if you take a look at current trends in fashion, 'effortless' comes to mind. i've seen women who don't seem to do anything at all about their appearance look lovely (almost by accident) but i've also seen women spending so much time on their looks and looking awful (think orange tans and tons of make up)

 

[fortworthgal]

Everyone goes through these phases. It doesn't necessarily mean you are lazy, depressed, "ugly" or anything else. Truth be told, I doubt there is anyone who really gets excited about doing full makeup & hair every single day. Vintage style is a lot of work. You can bet that even the always-immaculate Dita von Teese has days when she has to push herself to get glammed up.

I wear at least minimal makeup and style my hair for work every day. If we're going out in the evenings or for something special, I'll put in more effort. On the weekends, I frequently skip the makeup, and I admit I find it tough to put much effort into my appearance during our mercilessly hot Texas summers. I look much cuter during fall & winter. lol

 

[Julius8122]

To me, it sounds like the O.P. is going through a bout of depression. I would encourage her to seek some sort of help, be it couseling, medication or both.

I went through a serious patch after my son died. I couldn't do anything, taking care of myself was just too much. I should have sought help long before I did.

 

[Lenore]

I feel this way constantly. For the past 15 years I've been misdiagnosed with depression. Recently, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II and let me tell you, it has made a HUGE difference. Before my diagnosis, I wasn't even comfortable getting off my couch and was having SIs I was so miserable. Luckily, I had my daughter to keep me focused enough to realized I needed help. I would suggest the same thing to the OP. See a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist as they really know these medicines inside and out and what you might need. Another suggestion: Yoga. I know getting up to do anything is sooo hard, but you'll feel better once it's done. And something my grandmother told me once: A little lipstick can do wonders.

Feel better sweetie. We're here if you need us.

 

[live vintageous]

I'm going through an ugly vintage-less phase right now. I've gained some weight over the past couple of years and it's definitely affecting my self-esteem and self-perception. I just don't have the confidence I used to have, to just whip out in some cute outfit or darling dress.

 

[jillybeanlynn]

I'm bringing this thread up again because I'm feeling bleh!

For the last couple of weeks I've been working making Christmas decorations on a farm for Harrods and other big shop displays. I haven't been wearing vintage clothes at all because I haven't expanded my wardrobe enough yet to allow for some to get ruined and thus haven't set my hair or done vintage hair styles for two weeks because it just doesn't look right.

It's silly because it has only been two weeks, but I feel like I've lost my identity. I feel as though I don't put any effort into the way I look at all, purely because I'm not dressing vintage. I feel as though I've let myself down by not staying true to my style, but it just isn't practical at the moment. I haven't worn make up because my face just gets dirty and glittery and my pores have been clogged up enough by the dust, haven't painted my nails because it gets chipped off in the first 5 minutes and have started blow drying my hair straight, which I haven't done in about 8 months, unless I've cut my hair and had to check the length. Silly thing is I actually look the same as everyone else.......and hate it.

I wondered if anyone else has experience this loss of identity? And especially the ridiculously short amount of time it can happen in.

I can absolutely relate to this. On the days that I don't muster up the effort to dress nicely, I feel and look like such a schlump and it bothers me because I don't feel like myself. And when I'm feeling blue *and* I'm schlumpy, I feel even worse. I am a big advocate of the "fake it till you make it" idea, so I keep reminding myself that the extra effort will pay off in helping me pull myself out of the dumps about things.

The interesting thing is that looking spruced up affects how people treat me. Even when I have simple makeup on and jeans, it's a world of difference from the days when I have no makeup on and wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt. It may be a silly societal construct, but if a person looks like they put any effort into your appearance, whatever the style, people treat them differently in a way that's akin to respect. I don't know what that's really about sociologically and psychologically, but I notice it around me all the time.

Something in me rebels against the idea of "having to look pretty" to be treated a certain way. It even rebels against the idea that I have to make myself look nice to feel like myself and feel ready to face the day. But I guess this is the world we live in, so on some levels we gotta play the game.

 

[bellaclaire]

ive just read ALL through this thread....
What drew me to it was the title, and Yes i do, like a few her i do constantly. and im a mix of you all!! lol
i was on here before , Tempestbella42, (moved and lost my details for here!)
Since i left the Army 7 yrs ago now have had lots of issues to work throughn
When i was young i always dressed up and made up when off work (im a chef , workd long shifts in hot kitchens and hair tied up) before i got infolved with whe army i had a really life changin event happen, that made me loose that a little, then during my time in the Army, the unwanted attention(and abuse) i got when i did dress up made me retreat into myself more!
i hid behind unflattering glasses and after a major opp put weight on. i found my "fat suit" along with my specs helped me stay invisible! That and a needy bloke who was still in love with his x and i played counscellor, and mother too i thought i was coping!
Well , i wasnt was I, when i got out, he left me in debt and homeless and i had lost my feminine side completly (drove garbage trucks for a living in London)
I was diagnosed with Manic depression in my 20s but managed to function well till then without meds,now i have too take them, my dosage is low now though!
Slowly im makin progress now...theres lots more happened on my journey this far, but i am fighting still.
Lately it has been hard to motivate myself , getting afraid to go out on my own, no money at all, no motivation. iI dont see anyone for days ...that is actually better than a yr ago though!!
point of my post being...wanna thank u all. the fact ive rejoined here and read through this AND the beauty pages has made me realise i am actually fightin back still..............just need to start doing stuff!! so watch out Ladyday and the other ladies who sew im in there nxt!!

 

[lolly_loisides]

Welcome back bellaclaire!

 

[Miss sofia]

Yes, welcome back Doll!!

 

[Octavia]

I've been feeling something similar. I've been in sort of slump lately due to high stress and depression. I actually want to dress down and nearly disappear. I credit some of this to the fact that I'm so shy and introverted, and the attention and staring I get where I live sort of scares me off sometimes. Don't get me wrong - I do like when someone appreciates how I present myself. It's not as if I get comments everywhere I go as much as I can always feel when people stare. Good or bad, it becomes uncomfortable sometimes and lately even overbearing. I notice I'm becoming tired of my friends and family suddenly placing expectations on the way I dress. They just seem to define me by that alone. It's never bothered me before, but I want more than ever to be "plain Jane" now. I started acting on this impulse a few weeks ago by putting away the lipstick - and today I wore old jeans and a sweater and it actually felt nice being able to move about, in a sense, "anonymously". I'm becoming resigned to the fact that I'm in a different place right now and dressing distinctively simply won't sync with me, which is rather depressing, but I can see by this thread that it happens to the best of us at times and it is usually overcome. That is slightly uplifting for me.