Am I Too Old?

[Paisley]

Well...

Physical age means NOTHING. [/COLOR]Physical age will probably bring a certain amount of physical restriction....but there are young folks dealing with much greater physical problems. You still have the choice to make of it...what you will.
"Skeet"

Skeet, thanks for your post. I appreciate your outlook, even if I respectfully disagree with a few points.

Some people say that age is just a number, but taking an all-day dance class with a group of athletic 25-year-olds is a good reality check. Even Dara Torres, the 41-year-old swimmer who won silver medals in the last Olympics, said, "There are only so many swims in a 41-year-old body."

I agree that there's no need to be old before our time. Attitude is important too. But those who say that age is just a number aren't being completely realistic, I think. A book I'm reading now makes a point: you can't keep your illusions to just one area--you have to ignore evidence to the contrary and fabricate other things to keep up the illusion. It make it easier to kid yourself about other things as well.

 

[Foofoogal]

Fleur, I think my husband and I are much like your paternal grandparents and what gives one the feeling of getting a "spark" is different to different people. Having a very busy social and events calendar like my in-laws and parents wouldn't put a spark into my life. It would however make me stressed and miserable as hell.

I call it pacing oneself. Turtle vs Hare.
I plan on living till 109 so this is my outlook. My mind thinks young but my body does not always cooperate. lol

 

[LizzieMaine]

I agree that there's no need to be old before our time. Attitude is important too. But those who say that age is just a number aren't being completely realistic, I think. A book I'm reading now makes a point: you can't keep your illusions to just one area--you have to ignore evidence to the contrary and fabricate other things to keep up the illusion. It make it easier to kid yourself about other things as well.

Exactly. I may not be old, but my back, legs, feet, and eyes certainly are.

 

[Lillemor]

I call it pacing oneself. Turtle vs Hare.
I plan on living till 109 so this is my outlook. My mind thinks young but my body does not always cooperate. lol

My body cooperates but my mind doesn't.

 

[Paisley]

Exactly. I may not be old, but my back, legs, feet, and eyes certainly are.

lol I feel my age in my stomach. Hello, antacids.

 

["Skeet" McD]

A book I'm reading now makes a point. If you're in a machine that simulates reality, you might enjoy it but you're not having real experiences--and most of us want real experiences and accomplishments that correspond to external reality, not just the dream of them.

fftopic: but: I get the point, but I really wonder whether there isn't a large section of our society today that attempts to AVOID real experience at all costs...honestly, IMHO, this is a major thread in modern society. Jean Shepherd, that amazingly prescient social commentator, was onto this 50 to 60 years ago.

But back onto topic: Honestly, I think most of us are saying about the same thing. It seems the point here is that physical reality is what it is; the process of getting through--and out of--this life is one of progressive deterioration. Nothing can make that fact disappear. What we're REALLY talking about here is whether that fact is acknowledged by society, and (if so) what society is "telling us" we should think about it.

Currently, society is telling us that you can (and should be!) eternally young, preserving the obsessions of teenagers and 20 somethings until the end of your life; once upon a time, society told us that each age had particular forms of activity and thought; this may have been more realistic--but is still something imposed from the outside.

The trick, it seems to me, is to respond to YOUR reality; to thine own self be true, and to act appropriately. With all the problems of our contemporary society, individuals have, I believe, more freedom to do this now than at almost any other time in history.

"Skeet"

 

[Red Diabla]

Some people say that age is just a number, but taking an all-day dance class with a group of athletic 25-year-olds is a good reality check. Even Dara Torres, the 41-year-old swimmer who won silver medals in the last Olympics, said, "There are only so many swims in a 41-year-old body."

I agree that there's no need to be old before our time. Attitude is important too. But those who say that age is just a number aren't being completely realistic, I think. A book I'm reading now makes a point: you can't keep your illusions to just one area--you have to ignore evidence to the contrary and fabricate other things to keep up the illusion. It make it easier to kid yourself about other things as well.

As a person who is regularly competing against younger women in roller derby of all things, it's less about illusion and more about pushing the boundaries.

If I went merely by my chronological age, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. However, I shrugged to myself and tried it, and found that contrary to what one might ordinarily think, I still have something useful to offer both physically and mentally to this particular sport that I'm doing. There's no doubt that I'm not a 25 year old anymore. But I'm not counted out merely because of my age, either. And that's the area in my life where people tell me I don't look/act my age.

I read an article about marathon runners a while back, and it talked about how it's one of the few sports where older women can still compete and win. For all the general talk about how women in particular lose their "value" as they get older, that's a really neat article to read. I doubt these women are fooling themselves into thinking that they're on the exact same plane as younger women, but they do have a place that's not in a rocking chair.

RD

 

[MissAmelina]

WHAT?! No its not.
If Im still 'young' at 49, then Im not doing my job right. 49 is middle age, and I PRAY Im a distinguished, learned, sassy, gal (like Inky) finally comfortable with myself at that age. But young, geeze, they could have young from me at age 25 lol



LD

My 95 year old grandma just told me 49 is young. LOL.

I get what is being said here.....but here is my take.

Let's all grow old, but stay young at heart. Allow magic into your life....pursue dreams and adventures...constantly learn....keep our minds and hearts open....laugh with children....dance, even if it hurts a little.......and get excited about cupcakes...

When I hear the term "young at heart" it makes me think of these things...and it transcends the physical barriers of age.

Some people retain a spark....or they can find it again if they've lost it. A lust for life. A magic in what they do. And that can be anything from your morning coffee ritual, to the ballroom dancing class you might sign up for at 73.

A gal can still be a responsible, sassy, actualized grown up and retain some childlike qualities....a certain sparkle in the eye....or looking at the world with wonder. When I hear a woman say she is 49 years young, that is what I envision.

Not, "I am 49 and still have perky breasts and make really bad decisions."

I hope both the humor and seriousness of what I am trying to say is being expressed here.....the internet is limiting, and i am no debate team captain.

Paisley: Two or three nights out of the week I have to drink a glass of bi-carb and water before bed so I don't wake up with the acid tummy....how the heck did this happen?? And I would also like a new set of knees and shoulders.....feet would be nice too.

 

[Paisley]

As a person who is regularly competing against younger women in roller derby of all things, it's less about illusion and more about pushing the boundaries.

If I went merely by my chronological age, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. However, I shrugged to myself and tried it, and found that contrary to what one might ordinarily think, I still have something useful to offer both physically and mentally to this particular sport that I'm doing. There's no doubt that I'm not a 25 year old anymore. But I'm not counted out merely because of my age, either. And that's the area in my life where people tell me I don't look/act my age.

It seems that those who do push the boundaries have fewer illusions. They learn where the boundaries are and expand them at the same time.

I find it interesting that (so I have read) athletes tend to hit their peak in their 20s, not their late teens when humans are at their physical prime. It's when they are more developed psychologically.

 

[Brooksie]

I wish that the US would develop an attitude such as the French have and other places in Europe. When a women gets to a certain age about the midway point she is regarded as beautiful and sexy this way we could all look forward to this and of course the men are still very distiguished. I feel as though at 41 I am much more pretty and sexy now than when I was in my 20's. In Europe in general it seems that people who are about to the midway point in thier lives and much older are also held in the highest of regards and respected and it should be this way.

Brooksie

 

[Annyth]

Wow, such interesting replies!

"the process of getting through--and out of--this life is one of progressive deterioration. "

(apologies for whatever horror that attempt to quote came out looking like..)

Yes, but doesn't this assumption lead us to stereotype?

I've often found myself in conversation with people my own age (late 40s) who were bemoaning their physical decay... How tired they got, how they could no longer stay up late or party.. How the weight was piling on no matter what they did.. And I've found myself going along with it, just to fit in.

But I've found none of those things to be true.

I still have as much energy as I did at 21, can easily still party the night away... If I want to.

But I know Society says I shouldn't. Society says I should be At Home, getting Tired, helping my teenage kids pass their school exams..OK, I have no kids (which in itself causes confusion).. But then.. What?

And, when you're my sort of age, what does that phrase I hear a lot "Young for your age" actually mean? ... Am I "young for my age" just because I'm not sitting by the fire in slippers, knitting?

To pick up an idea mooted earlier, 48 is young..... Isn't it?

- Peta Pan, of Exeter, UK.

 

[Red Diabla]

It seems that those who do push the boundaries have fewer illusions. They learn where the boundaries are and expand them at the same time.

I find it interesting that (so I have read) athletes tend to hit their peak in their 20s, not their late teens when humans are at their physical prime. It's when they are more developed psychologically.

Old age and treachery beats youth and skill.

RD

 

[La Julia]

Yes, I agree!
I though 40 was the new 20?

 

[Foofoogal]

I think even the new name "cougar" is disrespectful.

I wonder in Europe is there even such a thing?

 

[Lotta Little]

I hate that backhanded compliment/unnecessary qualifier "for your age," as in "She looks great, for her age." Forget that, how about just "He or she looks great!"

 

[Lily Powers]

I hate that backhanded compliment/unnecessary qualifier "for your age," as in "She looks great, for her age." Forget that, how about just "He or she looks great!"

Yes, and the other backhanded compliment, "Oh my god, you don't look that old!"

I got carded at age 40 (ok, so maybe the lights were a bit dim at the venue) and the guy looked at my ID, then looked at me and then back to my ID. He grunted and said, "Hmmph. Must be clean living." Yes, thank you grizzled door bouncer, for your kind words. lol

I think even the new name "cougar" is disrespectful.

I so agree with you on this. It's a nasty connotation that to me, conjurs up desperate women on the prowl for fresh man meat. shakeshead

 

[HadleyH]

A little bit fftopic: I don't know much about this subject so please forgive me.... but it seems to me that nowadays people seem to look the same for a longer time...i mean Christine Brinkley is she 55 or something? Young or old or whatever,she doesnt look so bad to me... ... but who cares really?

... i'm sure that any young man who can spend some time with that 55 year old cougar, should consider himself lucky, very lucky indeed! lol lol


Then again, what do I know! [huh]

 

[HadleyH]

I don't know if her body cooperates or not, but she looks ok too! Bernadette Peters, who is 60 or 61? ( She was in the movie " Pennies From Heaven")
A 60 year old in 1900 would not have look like that, but who cares? [huh]
Times changes, for good or for bad!

photo taken in 2009

 

[Lillemor]

I hate that backhanded compliment/unnecessary qualifier "for your age," as in "She looks great, for her age." Forget that, how about just "He or she looks great!"

I agree, it sort of implies that the person's beauty is now of a lower standard because it's obvious that they're no longer in their teens or even...God forbid you can actually tell the person isn't in their 20s. This probably applies more often to the way mature women's beauty is judged than the aestetics of a mature man, for lack of better wording.

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

I've often found myself in conversation with people my own age (late 40s) who were bemoaning their physical decay... How tired they got, how they could no longer stay up late or party.. How the weight was piling on no matter what they did.. And I've found myself going along with it, just to fit in.

But I've found none of those things to be true.

My mum has always said she "doesn't believe in getting old", and while she hasn't exactly managed to stave off all signs of age, she is growing older gracefully with almost entirely white hair (in a fabulous 20s inspired eton crop with a perfect natural 'finger wave' at the front) and occasionally suffers from sciatica (though so does my 29 year old friend), she is extremely self disciplined, doing 10 minutes of calisthenics at home every day and watching what she eats carefully. As a result at 63 she weighs the same as she did when she was 25 (albeit with a different figure since having children) and not a flabby bit or bingo wing in sight.

She also takes after her mother and lives life to the full (despite a stressful existence as an author) and recently went on a cruise to the Norwegian fjords on her own, and had a great time. I appreciate that some folks have different views on life and what constitutes being old before one's time (as Lillemor pointed out) and I love being a homebody myself, I'm not a big partier, it tires me out and always has, even when I was 18! But I do want to experience lots of wonderful things in my lifetime, unlike my paternal grandparents, who as I said, have done nothing more 'exciting' than the weekly grocery shop for the last four decades. But then what I didn't say is that they both had a pretty awful time in the war, so perhaps they felt they had experienced all the 'excitement' they could bear and were happy for a quiet life. I'm sure that probably is the reason in fact, but similar experiences seemed to have the opposite effect on others, like my maternal grandparents.

Sorry for the essay. Here's me and my mum, who at 63 certainly does not look only 2 years older than the lady above, she's just unbelievable!