All You Need to Know About Hat Etiquette

[blueAZNmonkey]

A little anecdotal aside: As a late wedding gift to me and my wife, some Church friends took us to one of the nicest five-course restaurants in the richest part of San Diego County.

When the doorman offered to stow our hats and coats and gave us a ticket for the coat closet, I felt like I was living a fantasy. It was awesome. Wish more places did this!

 

[Jeremy T Garner]

Bar or counter seating generally (historically) allows us to keep them on.

So, now I wonder about the recent trend of "bar height" table seating. We're good there, too, right?!

Sweet!! I thought I had recalled bar seating allowed me to leave it on

 

[Jeremy T Garner]

A little anecdotal aside: As a late wedding gift to me and my wife, some Church friends took us to one of the nicest five-course restaurants in the richest part of San Diego County.

When the doorman offered to stow our hats and coats and gave us a ticket for the coat closet, I felt like I was living a fantasy. It was awesome. Wish more places did this!

That was a recent fantasy of mine fulfilled as well when I was in DC. I had a few different restaurants check my coat and hat. I loved it, as I felt like in conjunction with the glorious architecture and history of Northern Virginia/Washington DC I had gone back in time!

 

[blueAZNmonkey]

That was a recent fantasy of mine fulfilled as well when I was in DC. I had a few different restaurants check my coat and hat. I loved it, as I felt like in conjunction with the glorious architecture and history of Northern Virginia/Washington DC I had gone back in time!

Another thing I really enjoyed -- the maitre d allowed us to taste our bottle of wine before pouring the glasses -- brought out a spittoon and everything. We have a very vibrant wine culture out here in CA, and I've been all over the state on wine tasting trips, and this is the first time I've ever been offered the chance to taste and spit my wine at a restaurant. I'm sure these sorts of amenities are more common than I think, but man did the service at that dinner make us feel special.

 

[johnnycanuck]

I stated earlier in the thread what I observe as far as "hat etiquette " ... but honestly I don't see anyone around me honor any sort of etiquette outside of maybe the National Anthem at a ballgame

and this is not just young people ... I was in a restaurant last night ... granted not a 5 star restaurant with a maitre d and whatnot ... but nice enough

at the table next to me ... 2 men in probably their 60s one wearing a panel cap and the other a panama ... a few tables away a family where the father was wearing a western straw ... and a few tables from that a guy probably in his 20s with a bad TJMaxx $9.99 cloth stingy sitting on the back of his head

I was literally the only person in the place who had a hat with him that did not wear it to dine ... and this was in NYC

not sure where these customs are

again ... I was not bothered by this at all ... took zero offense ... just observed that I was the only one

I have seen the same thing up in Grande Prairie. Bunch of "good old boys" from the rodeo wearing their cowboy hats while eating a meal. In the back of my mind I can hear my old man, a Scottish immigrant, saying "Savages, didn't their parents teach them better or were they Raised by savages?" Doesn’t bother me none. I just find it funny. My kids on the other hand.......BETTER NOT.

Johnny

 

[blueAZNmonkey]

I have seen the same thing up in Grande Prairie. Bunch of "good old boys" from the rodeo wearing their cowboy hats while eating a meal. In the back of my mind I can hear my old man, a Scottish immigrant, saying "Savages, didn't their parents teach them better or were they Raised by savages?" Doesn’t bother me none. I just find it funny. My kids on the other hand.......BETTER NOT.

Johnny

I know many a cowboy who would take that "savage" label as a compliment =)

 

[DanO]

Most of the "eateries" we frequent are not fancy enough that it needs to be worried about. I will take my hat off if there is a place for me to set my cane and thus place my hat upon it. provided it is out of the way of waiters bumping it and knocking it to the floor.

Funny thing, a reason to remove your hat while eating, last weekend in Reno at a casino buffet(definitely not fancy). I had removed my hat and stowed it perched on my cane in an unused chair. The next table had a family and the gentleman was wearing a felt cowboy hat. As he was chewing his hat was wobbling up and down with his jaw movements. I had to ask my wife if mine did that thank heaven she said no.

 

[Zombie_61]

I attended a evening wake (last summer) at a funeral home in SoConn. One guy was wearing a ball cap.

was it the corpse?

During the last 10 or so years of my father-in-law's life he took to wearing ball caps. He had two or three, but one in particular was his favorite. When he died the family requested it be placed in one of his hands as if he were holding it by the brim, and the mortuary complied. It wasn't on his head or over his heart, but it was there.

 

[rogerstg]

Another thing I really enjoyed -- the maitre d allowed us to taste our bottle of wine before pouring the glasses -- brought out a spittoon and everything. We have a very vibrant wine culture out here in CA, and I've been all over the state on wine tasting trips, and this is the first time I've ever been offered the chance to taste and spit my wine at a restaurant. I'm sure these sorts of amenities are more common than I think, but man did the service at that dinner make us feel special.

I'm pretty sure that the spittoon was available in case the wine was bad, as in gone to vinegar.

 

[suitedcboy]

I guess many of us here will have our deaths delayed by the long process of figuring out which one of our hats we want to be buried with. Since that decision changes with time and the constant acquisition of new hats, it isn't something we can do in advance. If you have one of those long storied, elusive Stetson ermine fedoras stashed away that is your no question best hat, then you might be able to perish a bit sooner........

I'm picturing me laying in bed holding a hat, slow long labored breaths interrupted by me raising out of periodically and saying, "open that box on the shelf on the left and let me try that one"

 

[RJR]

I'm pretty sure that the spittoon was available in case the wine was bad, as in gone to vinegar.

+1

 

[hatophile]

Wouldn't it be more proper for you to be holding it over your heart?

Hey, I didn't say I'd be laying down in a casket. I may be sitting in my favorite rocking chair

 

[hatophile]

I know many a cowboy who would take that "savage" label as a compliment =)

I know some Scotsmen that would take "savage" as a compliment.

 

[blueAZNmonkey]

I'm pretty sure that the spittoon was available in case the wine was bad, as in gone to vinegar.

Or in case my palette was not in the mood for their Malbec import =)

I was just pleased that they let us formally approve our selection before giving us a whole bottle. It's odd that our micropubs and breweries do that with our beer options all the time (free tasters before a full pour), but restaurants don't do it with wine. Californians are just more pinky-up about our IPA's than our wine =)

 

[rogerstg]

Or in case my palette was not in the mood for their Malbec import =)

I was just pleased that they let us formally approve our selection before giving us a whole bottle. It's odd that our micropubs and breweries do that with our beer options all the time (free tasters before a full pour), but restaurants don't do it with wine. Californians are just more pinky-up about our IPA's than our wine =)

Beer samples are almost universally offered whenever a customer has a question about flavor. But wine is different because once that bottle is opened, it can't be sold to another patron, similar to the dinner you ordered. It's not a sample for you to decide if you want it: you already bought the bottle. It's to determine if there is something wrong with it before serving to the other diners. Bottling techniques are so advanced now that it's more of a custom than necessity. And I can count on one hand the "bad" wine I've encountered. Usually, it turns to vinegar, and it's obvious when that happens. If you reject it, they'll expect you to give them reason that it's not good, similar to rejecting a meal.

If it's an inexpensive bottle, you can discuss that it's a matter of personal preference. Often they will be happy to provide something else because they can sell it by the glass that night. But the less mainstream or more expensive the selection, the less they will be inclined to accommodate matters of taste. Nor should they be expected to do so.

At least that's the etiquette that I've learned from working in and dining at restaurants.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

^^^Agreed. Good explanation.

 

[moontheloon]

Or in case my palette was not in the mood for their Malbec import =)

I was just pleased that they let us formally approve our selection before giving us a whole bottle. It's odd that our micropubs and breweries do that with our beer options all the time (free tasters before a full pour), but restaurants don't do it with wine. Californians are just more pinky-up about our IPA's than our wine =)

I know many more wine connoisseur Californians than anyone who cares all that much about beer
I've always seen wine as a much more California thing especially housing Napa Valley and all that
living there for a decade it was definitely wine wine and more wine ... some weed ... then some more wine

a good friend of mine and Grammy Award winning song writer Billy Steinberg grew up on his grandfathers vineyards in California and introduced me to an enormous wine community that I had no idea existed ... you think hat people are crazy ?

 

[blueAZNmonkey]

Beer samples are almost universally offered whenever a customer has a question about flavor. But wine is different because once that bottle is opened, it can't be sold to another patron, similar to the dinner you ordered. It's not a sample for you to decide if you want it: you already bought the bottle. It's to determine if there is something wrong with it before serving to the other diners. Bottling techniques are so advanced now that it's more of a custom than necessity. And I can count on one hand the "bad" wine I've encountered. Usually, it turns to vinegar, and it's obvious when that happens. If you reject it, they'll expect you to give them reason that it's not good, similar to rejecting a meal.

If it's an inexpensive bottle, you can discuss that it's a matter of personal preference. Often they will be happy to provide something else because they can sell it by the glass that night. But the less mainstream or more expensive the selection, the less they will be inclined to accommodate matters of taste. Nor should they be expected to do so.

At least that's the etiquette that I've learned from working in and dining at restaurants.

I'm more referring to situations where I or someone else at the table is ordering a glass of wine from a bottle that has already been corked. I definitely get that beer on tap is easier to give a taster for than wine from a fresh bottle, but a small sip of wine from a bottle that's already been corked should be just as easy as a draft taste. The wife and I hit up a wine bar at least twice a month and I know for a fact they aren't pouring for us from fresh bottles.

I know many more wine connoisseur Californians than anyone who cares all that much about beer
I've always seen wine as a much more California thing especially housing Napa Valley and all that
living there for a decade it was definitely wine wine and more wine ... some weed ... then some more wine

Definitely true of the central coast and bay area. However, San Diego has actually become one of the beer capitals of the country:
http://www.businessinsider.com/best-beer-cities-us-2017-4/#7-san-diego-california-4
https://www.thrillist.com/drink/nation/best-beer-cities-in-america
https://pudding.cool/2017/04/beer/

Map of our most popular micropubs (over 170):
https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1pbR91HVqmpQogZczWzgMFVrIbSA&hl=en_US&ll=33.08284298065541,-117.1384032328491&z=9

In fact, Temecula (San Diego's wine country) is locally considered a bit of a joke to those of us who enjoy Spring vacations to the central coast. The flavors of San Diego wine are almost universally more mediocre than the most pedestrian Paso Robles wine of the same variety. And the Temecula stuff goes bad within hours -- no joke. Re-cork a half-empty Temecula bottle the day after and you may be drinking salad dressing. We and our foodie friends usually take trips to Temecula just for a good change of scenery and some food at one of the wineries -- not so much for the wine itself.

That to be said -- I have no figures to support this outside of personal experience but I believe there are WAY more beer connoisseurs in San Diego than wine-o's. Mention you don't like Ballast Point's Sculpin at any local pub and you'll ignite a words-war between the pro-hops, anti-hops, and purist-anti-citrus-additive activists -- and you'll hear the most eloquent arguments coming from every side. Stone Brewery ales are also a controversial topic since they were the first big national brews to come out of San Diego, but are now considered oh-so bourgeoisie.

living there for a decade it was definitely wine wine and more wine ... some weed ... then some more wine

Oh yeah -- the sacred herb is reverenced as fervently now as ever before =)

 

[Rogera]

Another thing I really enjoyed -- the maitre d allowed us to taste our bottle of wine before pouring the glasses -- brought out a spittoon and everything. We have a very vibrant wine culture out here in CA, and I've been all over the state on wine tasting trips, and this is the first time I've ever been offered the chance to taste and spit my wine at a restaurant. I'm sure these sorts of amenities are more common than I think, but man did the service at that dinner make us feel special.

Did you ask if they would leave the spitoon for your after dinner chew?

 

[blueAZNmonkey]

Did you ask if they would leave the spitoon for your after dinner chew?

Hah! I would be responsible for a sudden drop in star rating for that establishment.