All You Need to Know About Hat Etiquette

[hatsRme]

It's not so much that people don't understand the gestures, rather that they are no longer socially relevant.

Hmmmmm. I think people will, by their very existence, always be socially relevant. Well, most people, anyway!

 

[HudsonHawk]

It's not so much that people don't understand the gestures, rather that they are no longer socially relevant.

Of course they are. The fact that people are asking about it demonstrates that. But we've been through this.

 

[jlee562]

Of course they are. The fact that people are asking about it demonstrates that. But we've been through this.

People can ask if the earth is flat, that doesn't make the flat earth society relevant.

It's like, if a woman curtseys as a greeting, it's not as if the average person is going to have no idea what that gesture means (although kids these days, you never know). But a curtsey just isn't how people greet each other in this day and age. If you doff your hat, or remove it indoors, of course there will be those who correctly interpret this as a gesture of respect. The difference in the modern day is that the lack of doing so will generally not be perceived as a gesture of rudeness by the general population (aside from say, churches, formal dining establishments, etc). As number10 noted in his initial post: "society has accepted wearing regular hats indoors now," I would say that this applies generally to fedoras. That's what I mean when I write that most hat etiquette is generally not considered socially relevant. It's widely considered an outmoded set of rules. That's not to say that adhering to it won't be seen as respectful or courteous (although surely, some will be completely oblivious); but rather that not adhering to it won't be regarded as being dis-courteous.

 

[RBH]

Well said Jared.

 

[HudsonHawk]

The difference in the modern day is that the lack of doing so will generally not be perceived as a gesture of rudeness by the general population (aside from say, churches, formal dining establishments, etc).

This is where I think you are wrong. It is widely seen as rude or disrespectful. It's like wearing flip flops to a funeral. It's not illegal. Doing so will not get you shot. People are not likely to say anything out of politeness if nothing else. But to interpret that as their acceptance is completely wrong. They may be silent about it, but they still think you're gauche.

 

[jlee562]

This is where I think you are wrong. It is widely seen as rude or disrespectful. It's like wearing flip flops to a funeral. It's not illegal. Doing so will not get you shot. People are not likely to say anything out of politeness if nothing else. But to interpret that as their acceptance is completely wrong. They may be silent about it, but they still think you're gauche.

Well, I simply do not agree that is the case for the majority of the general population. It certainly is not the case for my geographical region where I have seen all sorts of hats, cheaper and nicer; in all sorts of locales, cheaper and nicer. Otherwise, it stands to reason that the wearing of other head garb indoors would likewise be seen as unacceptable and that is not the case.

 

[Lotsahats]

This is where I think you are wrong. It is widely seen as rude or disrespectful. It's like wearing flip flops to a funeral. It's not illegal. Doing so will not get you shot. People are not likely to say anything out of politeness if nothing else. But to interpret that as their acceptance is completely wrong. They may be silent about it, but they still think you're gauche.

I'm reminded of the old saw: if you know how infrequently people thought about you, you wouldn't worry about what they think about you. Seriously, most people are so caught up in their own lives that they have little time for bothering to spend much time thinking about strangers and what they wear.

 

[HudsonHawk]

I'm reminded of the old saw: if you know how infrequently people thought about you, you wouldn't worry about what they think about you. Seriously, most people are so caught up in their own lives that they have little time for bothering to spend much time thinking about strangers and what they wear.

It's not about what you wear, it's about how you behave in public. Sorry, I don't accept "anything goes anytime".

 

[jlee562]

Erm, where did "anything goes anytime" come from?

 

[Lotsahats]

 

[jlee562]

For comparison, GQ says:
http://www.gq.com/style/style-guy/accessories/200305/hat-etiquette
" In a public building, a man may keep his hat on in the corridors and in elevators. When one enters a room, one should remove one’s hat. Once upon a time, a man was supposed to remove his hat if a lady entered the elevator, an elevator being analogous to a room, but today elevators are so crowded, often with ladies, that it is more prudent to keep it on one’s head, where it doesn’t compete for floor space. In Grandpa’s day, a gentleman removed his hat when greeting a woman friend on the street; this was usually done with the left hand in case she offered her hand for a shake. If they should happen to walk together, or if the weather was bad, he would feel free to put his hat back on. In this benighted age of adjustable baseball caps, the practice of such niceties appears even nicer. My grandpa always removed his hat for the national anthem (my country, right or wrong) and for the passing of a flag or a funeral procession, and he lifted it when passing a church. Today one also removes one’s hat (and shoes) when being frisked at the airport. As for hat storage, a restaurant should be prepared for the possible onslaught of civilization, and so, if there is no proper storage, one should ask the host, hostess or waitperson where one might temporarily store one’s hat. If the facility provides no suitable accommodation and no unused chair is handy, a gentleman is justified in leaving it on, at a rakish angle proportionate with his degree of displeasure."

 

[Landman]

Removing your hat is a sign of respect. If someone or someplace deserves that respect, then remove your hat.

 

[Mystic]

For comparison, GQ says:
http://www.gq.com/style/style-guy/accessories/200305/hat-etiquette
" In a public building, a man may keep his hat on in the corridors and in elevators. When one enters a room, one should remove one’s hat. Once upon a time, a man was supposed to remove his hat if a lady entered the elevator, an elevator being analogous to a room, but today elevators are so crowded, often with ladies, that it is more prudent to keep it on one’s head, where it doesn’t compete for floor space. In Grandpa’s day, a gentleman removed his hat when greeting a woman friend on the street; this was usually done with the left hand in case she offered her hand for a shake. If they should happen to walk together, or if the weather was bad, he would feel free to put his hat back on. In this benighted age of adjustable baseball caps, the practice of such niceties appears even nicer. My grandpa always removed his hat for the national anthem (my country, right or wrong) and for the passing of a flag or a funeral procession, and he lifted it when passing a church. Today one also removes one’s hat (and shoes) when being frisked at the airport. As for hat storage, a restaurant should be prepared for the possible onslaught of civilization, and so, if there is no proper storage, one should ask the host, hostess or waitperson where one might temporarily store one’s hat. If the facility provides no suitable accommodation and no unused chair is handy, a gentleman is justified in leaving it on, at a rakish angle proportionate with his degree of displeasure."

Jeez.......and some people say JFK killed hat wearing.

Me thinks hat etiquette was the real culprit.

eep:

 

[HudsonHawk]

Erm, where did "anything goes anytime" come from?

From the attitude that you shouldn't care what other people think of you.

 

[HudsonHawk]

Jeez.......and some people say JFK killed hat wearing.

Me thinks hat etiquette was the real culprit.

eep:

Not really. There was a time when people really didn't mind being polite to each other, when social interaction wasn't "all about me".

 

[jlee562]

From the attitude that you shouldn't care what other people think of you.

Not really sure who or what you peceived to be perpetuating this idea that one should not care.

 

[Mystic]

Not really. There was a time when people really didn't mind being polite to each other, when social interaction wasn't "all about me".

Perhaps it would be better to stop making social interaction "all about you". :yo:

 

[HudsonHawk]

Not really sure who or what you peceived to be perpetuating this idea that one should not care.

"I just wear mine. Sorry if it offends anyone."

"I've never been one for rules of etiquette...Comfort often dictates whether I wear a hat indoors."

"How can you show respect for people who don't know, care or even notice that you are wearing a hat in the first place?"

"Whoever made up the hat rules is long gone so isn't going to complain no matter what we do."

"anyone who would like to comment on my wearing of a hat anywhere I please can show some real etiquette and keep their opinions to themselves."

"I think that gives me the right to rewrite my own rule book."

"But who cares what etiquette says? I for one, wish etiquette would slip away and quietly die."

"Anything else is do as one may please around here!"

"If you know how infrequently people thought about you, you wouldn't worry about what they think about you."


All comments from this thread or others just like it. There are many more examples, both in regards to hats and fashion in general. "Do whatever you want, whether others like it or not" is a very common theme around here. I know there are lots of people who have their own style. I might not like it, just as they might not like mine. But to pointedly disregard common courtesy crosses a line for me. And it's not so much that I expect people to always take their hat off when they should, or tip their hat, or any other particular gesture. It's the attitude of "I'll do what I want, to heck with everyone else" that bothers me. It's a symptom of a general attitude that is bad for business, bad for relationships, bad for culture and bad for civilization in general.

 

[HudsonHawk]

Perhaps it would be better to stop making social interaction "all about you". :yo:

It's not. That's my point.

 

[alanfgag]

Sometimes the neighborhood feels like a global village and sometimes it appears to be full of tribes and clans with their own vision of reality and customs to fit it.