All You Need to Know About Hat Etiquette

[m0nk]

Because of the attitudes of today your question is not do what do others do, but should be do what is right.

We live in a world where boys walk around with their pants halfway down their thighs showing their underwear and girls walk around in pj's. Clearly all concepts of acceptability is what ever. Someday the pendulum will swing back to some sense of propriaty, you'll be at the forefront.

:eusa_clap

Absolutely, I can can definitely foresee a day when hats, suits, and etiquette return to the forefront...

 

[RBH]

Iwear my hat to church but take it off for church. Sometimes I wear it in restaurants.
I removed it once in Mexico only to find it gone when I went to put it back on. It was good that the waiter was the one that got it, but it has made me be carefull about taking it off.

 

[seabass]

Moms house,
OFF !
but i always find a Funny place to put it. Melon in the kitchen, Jackpot ! she loves it & wants me to put it on prior to leaving....
At a big party it stays on or a dance on.....unless its a Dinner party/dance, off
If i see a Old Timer in a Hat, Nod & touch brim. The kids in the new hats dont understand the basics,
If im in a place where it comes off. My wife is great she will protect the hat,,,,,
resturants if it's a casual place & with the kid's well....Cap's stay on, Hats the wife will guard.

 

[GamaH]

Never been a dilemma for me. I wear hats for religious reasons, so they never come off unless I'm at home or somewhere I'd feel as comfortable in as I would be at home (e.g.; a close friend's or relative's place).

 

[Undertow]

First of all, see this thread:
All You Need to Know About Hat Etiquette

I don't see anything wrong with the full list of etiquette. I think one can fudge here and there, but there are reasons for each point and given a little thought, they tend to make sense.

I think the difference between when to doff and when to not relies on intimacy, or at least perceived intimacy. You can leave your hat on in the lobby of a hotel, but not in the hallway near the rooms. Make sense?

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Do what comes naturally to you. Youth culture may not know the rules, but the rest of society has a pretty good grasp on it. My hat comes off indoors, at church, and in all the situations, which one would expect, traditionally.

I actually get compliments on being 'polite' for doing so. The hat protocol isn't taught today, and best that you can do is set an example for the rest of the hat-wearing populous.

 

[jlee562]

I may be the outlier here, but I regard most hat etiquette to be outdated and unnecessary. In a more formal setting, such as one where I might be wearing a suit, the hat comes off indoors. A nice restaurant would count too. Otherwise, if there's no rack, it's staying on my head, though I usually doff it to the back of my head.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Same here. I was at a friend's funeral, and a bunch of people were sitting there in flat-billed caps with them on IN THE CHURCH. I was a pallbearer and left mine in the car, since I didn't wish to be preoccupied with it. Finally someone went over there and told them to show some respect. We're not the only ones who know how things are supposed to work.

Iwear my hat to church but take it off for church. Sometimes I wear it in restaurants.
I removed it once in Mexico only to find it gone when I went to put it back on. It was good that the waiter was the one that got it, but it has made me be carefull about taking it off.

 

[Stanley Doble]

Do the right thing and look like a gentleman. Those who know will know.

Let the scruffs act like scruffs. That's how you know they are scruffs.

 

[Hoyt Clagwell]

Do the right thing and look like a gentleman. Those who know will know.

Very well stated.

 

[DAJE]

It's only "disrespectful" to keep a hat on if you know the (supposed) rules of hat-wearing and you choose to ignore them. Few people today would have any reason for knowing the rules of 50+ years ago, so it's hardly disrespectful. Ignorant, perhaps, but there's a lot of that about.

I think some people choose to believe that there are unbreakable rules of etiquette (or hatiquette) so as to feel superior to the "disrespectful" shlubs that don't know them. In this day and age, there aren't, and back in to good old days - as I mentioned on page one, based on photo evidence - the "rules" were nowhere near as restrictive as some people seem to believe.

 

[Doc Smith]

I still follow the rules I was taught in Basic Training: head covered outdoors (except on the flight line), head uncovered indoors (unless under arms). Most people have no idea that there's any rule at all. Some notice, and are amused. And a few learned similar habits at similar schools, and sometimes end up telling me when and where they served.

Think of it as a shibboleth, if you like, and one more subtle than tatoos or loud T-shirts.

 

[Undertow]

I may be the outlier here, but I regard most hat etiquette to be outdated and unnecessary. In a more formal setting, such as one where I might be wearing a suit, the hat comes off indoors. A nice restaurant would count too. Otherwise, if there's no rack, it's staying on my head, though I usually doff it to the back of my head.

I don't think you're on the fringe. I think that's a pretty reasonable default for anyone that either is not aware of etiquette, or finds vintage etiquette, well, vintage.

Although I may try my best to keep to the rules, no one notices because they don't even know such rules exist. I do so for myself. That's kinda how hat etiquette is today, I think.

 

[suitedcboy]

"You must be the change you want to see in the world...."

I agree. I guess I may be one of those in the minority but I use a less stringent set of "rules". I want you to keep your hat on and I want to keep mine on.
I take my hat off in someone's home I do not know.
It's off in church unless it's cowboy church where hats are only doffed for prayer (I'm not making that up).
If it's a fedora and I'm suited it's off in fine restaurants and many other places.
If it's western and I've been riding or working cattle or other chores it stays on unless it's blown off. I don't want to see your ugly hatless head after you've perspired and the hat has smashed your hair into something more resembling the wad of hair you clean out of the tub drain.
I wear a hat most of my waking ours and often when I take it off to be polite the person I take it off for says, "put your hat back on, you don't look normal without a hat".

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Oh, dreaded hat hair. I despise it!

I don't want to see your ugly hatless head after you've perspired and the hat has smashed your hair into something more resembling the wad of hair you clean out of the tub drain.

 

[Joe Rotax]

I'm not big on rules, I just do what's right at the time.

 

[seabass]

I bet you guys get a new hat & wear it all over the house, in your PJ's etc.....

 

[m0nk]

I bet you guys get a new hat & wear it all over the house, in your PJ's etc.....

I do stuff like that to drive my wife nuts.... heh. When it's new, I want to wear it... of course, outside the house, I respect the rules quite a bit more...

 

[Gin&Tonics]

I just turned 60 years old. (My avatar picture is from when I *started* wearing fedoras.) When I started in business in the '70s, hat usage was dying down, and I was just on the tail end. Eventually, I stopped wearing hats, and I have no idea what happened to my first fedora. More recently, after I had been complaining to my girlfriend for years about how I miss the days when men wore hats, she bought me a nice Bailey's fedora on a trip to Las Vegas. I love it!

In the last few years, it seems that fedoras have started getting popular again, particularly stingy-brim ones. (I've started seeing a few porkpie hats, too.) But the hatiquette has changed (or perhaps just disappeared) over the last 40 years, which is really confusing me. So when I was wearing hats, you took your hat off indoors (at least once you got to your office), in an elevator, and when talking to a lady. You might also tip your hat to people. Today, guys seem to treat hats strictly as a fashion accessory, one that stays planted on their head wherever they are.

So I am conflicted: the hatiquette I grew up with tells me that I should take my hat off when I am indoors, but the young folks around me are leaving theirs on all the time. Do I go with my core hatiquette, and stand out as an old fart, or embrace the new, and leave my hat on my head all the time? Complicating the issue is that fact that the infrastructure for taking your hat off (that is, hat check rooms) has pretty much gone by the wayside.

Have any of the rest of you felt this conflict?

Thanks,

Lynn

There's nothing wrong with showing a little class and etiquette, even if everyone around you is clueless or careless. I say go all out and practice proper hatiquette! Who knows? Some of the new generation who are getting into wearing hats may see you and decide to follow suit.

Personally, I try to follow hatiquette as much as possible, although I sometimes forget some of the finer points. I always take my hat off when entering a restaurant or a person's home, and when speaking with a lady on the street. I also take it off when interacting with a cashier or person in a similar position.

 

[Annixter]

I may be the outlier here, but I regard most hat etiquette to be outdated and unnecessary. In a more formal setting, such as one where I might be wearing a suit, the hat comes off indoors. A nice restaurant would count too. Otherwise, if there's no rack, it's staying on my head, though I usually doff it to the back of my head.

From how I was raised, it is rude to wear a hat while sitting down at any restaurant (no matter what class) unless you are at the bar or at the dining counter which are exempt. One of the reasons, according to my mom and pop, is that humans communicate partially through nonverbal eye contact, and it is rude to make your server stare at your hat brim instead of your eyes while she/he serves you, and the same goes regarding anyone sitting at the table with you having to look into your face overshadowed by a brim. The same logic applies for removing sunglasses indoors so people can see your nonverbal communicators.

One thing for us to consider regarding the decay of traditional hat etiquette in the USA is different cultures. Western culture dictates one thing, but not all share the same opinions. I appreciate traditional hat etiquette, so I uphold it. If others don't, let them eat cake.

As we can see from the greatly differing opinions in this, one of many, hat etiquette threads (hatiquette is a great name for it by the way), it boils down to what kind of figure you want to present yourself as. The dapper man in Western terms will probably remove his hat per the rules laid out in the etiquette thread linked to earlier, just as the dapper man will excuse himself (as in leave) to blow his nose or at least do so into a handkerchief if in public. At the same time, some people will never remove their hats per etiquette either because of ignorance or disagreement, and some people will blatantly pick their noses at the restaurant table and in other public places just the same. Picking one's nose in public doesn't hurt anyone, but it sure is rude per traditional etiquette. The same applies for not removing one's hat when he should per tradition, in my opinion.