Adult Boys

[wuluf]

I was out and about yesterday, saw a 30-ish year old man with a nice beard dressed in a baseball jersey, shorts, flip flops and a backwards ball cap. The outfit would have looked good on a 12 year old. My question is, what makes this attractive to young women? I know several of such who have paired with/had children (not married, mind you) with young men who cannot support their family. In two cases, the three of them moved in with her parents! Can someone explain what attracts women today to men who seem unable to leave adolescence behind?

 

[Sloan1874]

In the UK, they're called Kidults or Adulescents. The clothes usually come with a 'carefree' attitude to responsibility etc, that's probably quite winning for a gal initially, but when bills need paying and she finds her man is more interested in chilling/clubbing/mucking around with their mates, it can pall pretty quickly. I have a mate who is cut from the kidult template; great fun as long as you were having fun, but totally unreliable when it came to work. He got married, they had a kid, and within two years they were divorced for all of the above reasons. Sad, but the thing is nobody who knew him was the slightest bit surprised.

 

[loosebolts]

regional popularity of an immature sub culture, plus they get the attractive women with Dad issues.... try Roseville mall (if its reopened) might not have as many. Arden fair and down town are full of them. i fit into the age group and worked in Arden fair mall at a upper end clothing store aimed at mature people. it was constantly deserted while the MLB hat store and Acrombie and Fitch American Eagle (with the all too popular board shorts) were hopping with immature manchildren customers and attractive superficial females with issues. the spring breaker motif along with mentality of party/fight/ talk trash is what is "popular" with people that more than likely you , me and probably must of us here would not give the time of day. same goes for the women that are attracted to that. if some one find THAT attractive it is some one not worth my time.

 

[HudsonHawk]

regional popularity of an immature sub culture, plus they get the attractive women with Dad issues.... try Roseville mall (if its reopened) might not have as many. Arden fair and down town are full of them. i fit into the age group and worked in Arden fair mall at a upper end clothing store aimed at mature people. it was constantly deserted while the MLB hat store and Acrombie and Fitch American Eagle (with the all too popular board shorts) were hopping with immature manchildren customers and attractive superficial females with issues. the spring breaker motif along with mentality of party/fight/ talk trash is what is "popular" with people that more than likely you , me and probably must of us here would not give the time of day. same goes for the women that are attracted to that. if some one find THAT attractive it is some one not worth my time.

Not that I'm condoning this behavior, but attracting females with all manner of "issues" is sort of the point for these guys. When I was in my 20's, I was suddenly surrounded by women in their 30's and 40's, who had "no-BS issues" I guess you could say...they knew what they wanted, and if you were a male, who had a job and didn't live in his parent's basement then it was basically "eh...you'll do". I was happy to be that guy. In my 40's, I've been gobsmacked at the women 18-25 who have "daddy issues". I'm a married man, but for those who aren't, this is basically the time of their lives, one way or another. Which brings up another point...Every time I see some teenage misfit, who can't seem to get anywhere with girls his age, I just want to grab him and say "it's not always going to be like this. I know you think this is your moment in the sun, but it's not. Everything WILL change. Trust me."

 

[Foxer55]

HudsonHawk,

I think you pretty much nailed it with your post. Its kind of a mating behavior.

 

[Dragon Soldier]

Hmm.. As I got of the tram yesterday evening I saw a man, not an adolescent, a man in one of those brightly coloured mockeries of a suit that they call a "zoot" standing outside that new jazz club. As I passed him I caught a curious aroma, which I take to be that of marijuana, from his cigarette.

All the more remarkable, is the fact that he appeared to have the attention of several young ladies, and I do mean ladies, not the street types that one might expect to see associated with such a specimen but well dressed young women, from well to do homes (I recognised at least one) who could do so much better for themselves. What could possibly attract a young lady of character to such a hopeless deadbeat?

 

[Formeruser012523]

In a big city this is pretty much all I see. Casual dress is the norm & the older I get I'm no longer surprised. I have friends who wear flip-flops all year long. Why? I don't know.

As a single woman in my mid-30's (ugh), I can't explain the attraction at all. What you explained, wuluf, has happened to many of my flip-flop friends. It seems women (& men) settle for less than what they really want, because they have issues, or they just don't think they can do any better. Personally, I don't want to settle for a man-child. I don't want to babysit for the rest of my life.

 

[LizzieMaine]

There's nothing wrong with the "kidults" that a job on an assembly line or a hitch in the Army wouldn't cure.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

I'm 30 & the only time I wear filp flops is when I need a pair of shower shoes.

 

[vitanola]

There's nothing wrong with the "kidults" that a job on an assembly line or a hitch in the Army wouldn't cure.

Perhaps, but we've sent most of our assembly line work offshore, and the Army is now an all-volunteer force.

There was once a place for these boys to grow up.

It really seems as if the "planners", "movers" and "shakers" in our society have pointedly chosen to ignore all those who fall on the wrong side of the mean on just about any bell curve. These people we will always have with us. One might well be concerned about the social disruption which occurs when there is no useful place made for them in society.

 

[esteban68]

Ditto that over this side of the pond....the old apprenticeship route and or national service really made men of boys....sadly profit for shareholders now comes before anything!

Perhaps, but we've sent most of our assembly line work offshore, and the Army is now an all-volunteer force.

There was once a place for these boys to grow up.

It really seems as if the "planners", "movers" and "shakers" in our society have pointedly chosen to ignore all those who fall on the wrong side of the mean on just about any bell curve. These people we will always have with us. One might well be concerned about the social disruption which occurs when there is no useful place made for them in society.

 

[Benny Holiday]

Generally I couldn't give two shakes what these clowns wear, if they want to look stupid that's their problem, but when they look jeeringly at me walking down the street clad in suit, tie and fedora, that's annoying. When the rare comment is called out, that's trouble.

The best example of recent incidents (two weeks ago) was the chubby dude in the tracksuit and ball cap who must've thought he was Mr Cool in the 'hood and made the snide remark, "You look like a mobster." My reply was, "Well turkey neck, you don't look like an athlete." He didn't have brains enough to answer and remained the healthier for it.

 

[HudsonHawk]

On the fashion front...part of the problem is that even "white collar" jobs have enabled these clowns. My workplace has been invaded by an army of hoboes, and the company doesn't seem to care. It's gotten to the point that most think that a pair of khakis and a polo shirt are dressing up, and often the dressiest thing that these guys own. We have guys who think bowling shoes are appropriate work attire and apparently never heard of a shaving razor. They even show up for job interviews like this and wonder why they don't get a job. I'm sure that look makes you the hit of the party on Saturday night, but in the office, it makes you look lazy

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Ditto that over this side of the pond....the old apprenticeship route and or national service really made men of boys....sadly profit for shareholders now comes before anything!

And then employers wonder why they can't find anybody worth a damn anymore.

 

[Foxer55]

Benny,

The best example of recent incidents (two weeks ago) was the chubby dude in the tracksuit and ball cap who must've thought he was Mr Cool in the 'hood and made the snide remark, "You look like a mobster." My reply was, "Well turkey neck, you don't look like an athlete." He didn't have brains enough to answer and remained the healthier for it.

I can't help but think and wonder that much of this has to do with the need to look unsuccessful, ergo, socially relevant. I have come across this same thing while wearing a suit and tie when someone acts like you're stealing food from the poor. You have to remember that there are a lot of people - all over the world - who have taken to the notion that 'rich' people are evil, particularly 'white rich' people. 'Rich' people are the bain of humanity and the cause of everything from earthquakes to cosmic events. If you look like a duck, talk like a duck, and walk like a duck, the conclusion is you're one of them. Evil rich guy. In other words, if you have some self respect, rich or not, if you're not a victim of some sort of oppression, if you don't present yourself as needy or in want, you're socially irrelevant. The guy you encountered was socially relevant. Or at least he and his ilk believe that.

 

[Benny Holiday]

You raise an interesting point Foxer55, one that would certainly seem relevant in the town where my workplace is situated.
It used to be working class and honest, now it's a ghetto full of welfare cheats and drug dealers.

 

[esteban68]

Ditto over here BH...we had many factories and colleries, the factories made packaging for much of the world(Robinsons), Markham engineering who apart from making tanks in WW1 and mini subs in both wars they also made the tunnelling machines for the Channel tunnel, we had Ti tube works/Chesterfield cylinders that supposedly made the oxygen tanks for Hilary and Tensings accent of Everest, we had Pearsons who made earthen ware for the world and empire including some quite valuable art pottery, we had Stanton & Steetley who made steel products notably railway rails that again can still be found empire wide including some narrow gauge railways on the battlefields of WW1 France....all of these have been moved abroad to make use of cheap foreign labour or bought out by foreign competitors with promises of continued working only to be closed down a few short years later...no blue history plaques commemorate these factories, nothing has been done for the workers and their children......there is now in the UK a whole group of once proud factory workers for whom there is little or no meaningful work and with no work they turn to crime and drugs to fill the void....such is capitalism!

 

[Dragon Soldier]

The unfortunate thing is that many of our factory workers worked as hard as they did to ensure that their children wouldn't have to break their backs to earn a crust.

Unintended consequences and all that.

 

[herringbonekid]

there is now in the UK a whole group of once proud factory workers for whom there is little or no meaningful work and with no work they turn to crime and drugs to fill the void....such is capitalism!

there's really two separate strands in the UK: the 'chav' culture who wear sportswear / trainers religiously, which has its roots in the 'casual' look of the early 80s. this group are the ones who would have been working in factories before they were all closed down, and now have practically zero job opportunities or self respect left.

then there's the more affluent 'new lads' which began somewhere in the early 90s; these types idolise bands like Oasis and often they have decent jobs, or might even own their own company, but have decided that their male identity should celebrate drinking, football, soft porn, action movies etc. the magazines 'Loaded' and 'Maxim' cater to this group. they are often surprisingly intelligent, and the anti-intellectual stance is often a pose (but not always). they are generally seen as a cultural reaction to the sensitive 'new man' of the 80s, but if you ask me, are really an excuse to prolong the irresponsible 'fun' bits -and gang mentality - of adolescence well into adulthood.

My question is, what makes this attractive to young women?

although i personally find the 'new lad' types (outlined above) pathetic, they are often funny (in their own way), charismatic, and exude a swaggering confidence which many young women find attractive.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Nathan Barley, by his own admission, was never short of a lass or two.

Hail the rise of the idiots.