A Young Girls Civil War Diary

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 9, page 2/5

"WHERE DUTY CALLS"

Here he comes with the same gray suit, but over it he has a dark coat, and with sturdy shoes, a pair of leggings, and a good brass spur on his heel for hard riding. He is making his way for the horses. Well, let's see him go over the corral fences, and we will go back to camp. As John reached the fence he paused and took off his hat, and ran his fingures up through his hair, stood still and raised his head and looked up at the moon, that was fast going down in the West. How can we hope to know what is in his thoughts, let's leave him, hoping that his courage and bravery will carry him through safely,----but listen, what was that he said, ---"For my commander, my conscience, and for justice," and turning his face to the North,---he lifted his hat, and said, "Lavina, I must go." And now he is leaping into the corral among the horses. At 11:30 that night, a little lean flanked brown mare, stood at General Marmedukes tent. While inside the General was saying, "Delzell, there is no such thing as directions to a scout. Destination is what we must try for, gain it by any means possible. Carry this to General Albert Sidney Johnston, and if you reach him, consider yourself in his Command, and may God be with you,-- But, if you are captured, be sure and destroy this, as it would greatly aid our enemies, should they obtain it." John took the packet, saluted and came outside, took the reins from the orderly, who was holding the horse, mounted and rode away. And before morning he was many miles to the South-east. Just as the day was breaking he came to a deserted house, he stopped and took a look at the surroundings----there was a small enclosure, that seemed to have been a sheep corral----in one corner was a shed, into this he led the horse, took off the saddle, and carried it into the house. What to do with the message? He did not dare go to sleep without hiding it, still it must be where he could get it in case of surprise.

Finally he slipped it into the sleeve of his shirt. Ate a couple of crackers out of his saddle pockets, and soon was dozing in sleep, yet, at every noise he opened his eyes, and either, listened a bit, or got up and looked about the house---at noon, or a little later, it begun to snow, great wet flakes, which was in favor of John. If there was enough fell, for if he could not travel so fast, at least he could travel more quietly, and not attract the attention that he noise of a horse would make on the road.

The God of Fates was with him the first week. He traveled most of the nights. When he traveled by day, he used by-paths and deserted roads, and avoided meeting anyone as much as possible. As he drew nearer the boundary line, between Arkansas, and Mississippi, he had to begin to enquire for Johnston's Army, but he felt that he was near enough South to be among Southern sympathizers, but one day he stopped at a house, and inquired his way, and after the woman had directed him, --She said, "You had better hide your horse today and not travel,--- for a band of Yankees are in these parts, and they question most everyone they meet about who they are, and their business. I will take your horse and put it away, and if anyone notices her, I can say she is a stray horse, and you can hide the saddle and yourself in the gin-house. You can cover up in the cotton-seed, and keep warm, while you sleep, I would not dare keep you in the house." John looked steadily at her for a few minutes and said,--"I will trust you as a friend, for it is important that I reach General Johnston." She took the reins and John took the saddle from the horse, and she pointed to the door of the Gin-house and said, "In there." Later she came out with steaming hot coffee, a corn pone and some cold boiled pork, and told him she would give alarm if any danger threatened, and that she had fed and watered the horse, and if he could, he should sleep until night-fall. She ask no questions.

John offered no information. So he dug a deep trench in the Cotton-seed, pulled a few sacks of burlap over him, and sleep as only a tired man can sleep.



Section 9, page 3/5

"WHERE DUTY CALLS"

It was dark when he opened his eye's, with a start, and heard the voice of a woman saying, "Get up,-- and away as soon as possible for my slave (Lige) came in from the timber at noon and saw your horse. I thought he was suspicious, so I would not let him go back to the timber, for fear that he would slip away and get spies---so I have kept my eye on him all afternoon, but only an hour ago, I slipped out and looked in his quarters and he was there, then, soon I went again, and he was gone. Your horse is ready, and here is food, but ride and ride hard because I fear for you. John took the food and thrust it into his saddle bags, and with a hasty "Good-bye" and "God Bless You", he mounted and was gone.

Had you listened closely you could have heard the clatter of the little lean flanked brown mare, (that John was riding) as her feet clattered over the stones in the hard roads, when---two "Blue-coats" dismounted and came into the yard. A knock at the door, and Mrs. Savage opened it in time to see "Lige" slipping among the shrubbery to his quarters.

"Whats your business?" she asked, as one of them put his foot on the door-step and started to enter.

"We are informed that you are sheltering a strange man. We have come to search your place," they said.

To gain time and detain them longer, Mrs. Savage said, "Who gave you this information?" And she smiled, not to be affable, but at the secret knowledge that the one they were wanting, was getting farther and farther away all the while.

"Well, we got pretty good reason for thinking a man is here, as a stray horse was in your barn to-day."

"Well, yes there was. It came to the barn-yard gate this morning, and I let it in thinking perhaps the owner would come hunting for it, and sure enough just at dark a man came by and asked for a strange horse. I went for my "Black" Lige, but he was gone so I let him go get about an hour ago. You are at liberty to search."

Her willingness to have them search, must have convinced the men that he was not there, and they evidently didn't believe all her story, for they hastly mounted and rode away, taking the road that John had taken.

Little did John think he was so closely followed, or he would have used the cruel brass spur on his heel sooner. He had not rode more than a couple of miles, until he heard horses coming up the road behind him. He touched his mares flank for the first time, with the brass spur, he was so sorry to have to do it. She plunged foreward in surprise but for the next half mile she did her best, but John could tell that the horses behind were gaining.

And knew that his hard riding would only attract attention. So he came to a deep woods, he dismounted and snatched the food out of the saddle-bags, turned the little mares head down a ravine, and done what he had never done before. He gave his horse a hard kick with his spur-heel, and sent her down the deep ravine while he took up over the bluff. Soon he heard shouts of "Halt, Halt," called down the ravine as the little brown mare scuddled away over the rocks.

He knew that they were too close to run, so he dropped close to a log, and got ready to destroy the precious message. Soon the men were near enough to hear their words. John lay as still as death listening.

"Well, what do you say, shall we follow? He might get in a crevice of the bluff, and get both of us, and we are not sure he is anyone important. Let's let him alone. Maybe its some country bumppin going to see his girl, and just get scared; the woman said he had been gone for half hour at least.



Section 9, page 4/5

"WHERE DUTY CALLS"

John began to breath easier, when the other one said, "How I would have loved to got a shot at him. Anyway wait. Hush! Look over yonder by that bluff. Isn't that a man?" " Ha, Ha," laughed the other, you surely have an imagination! All I see is a log. Do you suppose that poor Devil would be that close and lie still?

Come on. You are getting so vain about your marksmanship. You will soon shoot me." "Well, I suppose it's no use fooling any longer, unless we had more to go on than that fool Black's story, but nevertheless I am going to take a shot at that log just to see."

Poor John, it look super-human courage to lay quiet. Before he left camp he had wrapped the package in oiled paper partly to protect it also with a view of it's burning quickly, should he wish to destroy it. He held the package in one hand and the match in the other, intending if he was hit, to strike the match. BANG! went the revolver, and a splash of fire seemed to hit John's elbow.

Yet he lay still, and did not strike the match. A loud "Ha, Ha," rang out on the still night air, and the voice of a man saying, "Surrender log-head to Corporal Ephriam Green." Then they mounted their horses and rode away. One man still laughing and teasing his companion.

After the sounds of their horses had died away, John sat up and found his coat sleeve wet with blood. He removed his coat and tied his handkerchief tight above the wound and soon saw that the blood was stopping. He sat still and collected his thoughts and tried to plan. If this section of the country had spies working in it, the best thing he could do was to get out and not try to get medical help. He wondered how far his horse had strayed, and if he could find her. For he began to feelweak from the loss of blood.

He got to his feet and started to go down into the ravine. How weak and sick he felt. He stopped and depated with himself if he should destroy the message, much hardship already that he was almost to the source of the small spring. He crept along cautionsly not wanting to make any noise, and was almost upon the little mare standing resting after she had had a drink. Before John ever took a drink he patted her little neck and said, "Little girl, I hated to treat you so, but you are better off than I am, for I have got a "Yankee" bullet in me." He took a drink of the cool water and bathed his face and head, and soon he felt the sick sensations leaving, but the arm was swelling, and getting oh, so sore! He put the message back in its proper place, and once more sat astride the little brown mare, and soon crossed the river at Memphis, and three days later, a gaunt, dirty, unshaven, sick man rode into General Sidney Johnston's Camp, and asked where the Generals Head quarters were, and upon being directed, went in and saluted with his left hand. The General looked up and saw he was at the point of exhaustion and motioned him to a seat. John pulled the precious message from his blouse, and fell as he extended it to him.

When the sun was rising next morning, John raised up and was pushed back on his pillow, and then he remembered the message.

"Oh, where did I put it?" he began to ask.

"It's safe, you made it all right. But it was a close shave for you. Do you think you can stand to have me look at your arm, or tell how it happened."

The doctor walked from the line of beds, which had been placed in an old school house, talking to the sick and wounded. And in about an hour he came again to John. Now John had been trying to decide what to do. As he heard the doctor say, "We will have to take his arm off," and nodded in his direction--so when the doctor had looked at his arm, and told him it was infected and would have to be amputated--


Section 9, page 5/5

"WHERE DUTY CALLS"

John said, "You dress it. I'll take the pain and risk it don't come off."

And when the doctor cut the bandages and tried to get toe bullet, he said, "Its impossible to get it as its in the joint."

John said, "Leave it, I can carry that much lead!" When the doctor came in again with a dose of medicine, John took the spoon and said, "I believe this is an opiate, to put me to sleep, and if I wake and this arm is not here, (touching his shoulder) then I can still use the left one." And he touched the Army Holster which held his revolver, that was hanging on the post of his bed. And into those tired, suffering eye's came a look that the Army Surgeon understood---

John woke late in the afternoon, and was told that General Johnston wanted to talk with him as soon as possible. "Send him in," said John.

And as the General was leaving an hour later,--- John said, "Will you grant me a favor?"

"Certainly" said the General.

"Well," said John, "See to it that they don't saw this off." pointing to his arm. Whereupon the General laughed and said, "Sure, we want to keep all of such fellows as you. They are needed in the Southern Army."

So John turned over and began to fight for life and health.

John went to sleep resting on the promises of General Johnston that the arm was not to be amputated. But he never saw the General again. For acting on the contents of the message that John had brought from General Marmeduke, he decided to crush Grant's army that was moving up the Tennessee River to join General Buell, who was bringing another Union force over from Nashville. And on April 6th 1862, he struck at Grants army at Shiloh, Tenn. forcing them back, though the Union forces fought stubbornly; at night they were in a perilous position. But during the night General Buell arrived, and when the morning came Grant renewed the fight, recovering the lost territory of the day before and at last drove the Confederate Army away, and when the hotly contested field was left to the Federals, among the slain, lay the great and beloved leader of the Confederates, General Albert Sydnay Johnston.

Soon after the battle of Shilo, John was able to leave the hospital and found himself transfered with some more recruits and men, (who like himself had recovered from wounds), to the command of General Bragg, and during the remainder of 1862, he was in charge of an aminution train for the bullet he received on the journey to Corinth, had imbedded itself in the elbow joint, not allowing the joint to straighten. So we leave him until we go find Lavina once more.

"He holds no parley with unmanly fears,

Where duty bids he confidently steers.

Races a thousand dangers at her call,

And trusting to his God he surmounts them all.

---Cowper.


Lee

 

[freebird]

Hope it's ok, I'm saving a copy of this to keep and re-read as time and inclination permits.

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Hi Freebird,

Of course you can make a copy.

Here is some more.

Section 10, page 1/5

"NORTHERN YANKEE AND SOUTHERN LADY"

November 20, 1861

Oh close Friend:- I just must write into your pages tonight. We have been so very busy that I have not written in a long time, but tonight I will have all night long. For I am standing guard, you might say over Luke and Lucy.

Tonight Mrs. Howell and myself were sitting before the fire. I was knitting and she was mending some linen sheets. All at once she reached over and touched me on the arm, and at the same time she pointed to a small twig that was thrust into the edge of the wall, just where the sides of the Fire-place meets the boards. My heart fairly stopped beating, and the swig still kept moving, so she leaned closer to me and said, "I believe that Lige or Sam, (her sons) and of course, they don't know you or why you are here----so I believe I will ask who is there." (I was sure glad that she decided to do the asking.) So after a few minutes, she said real low, "Lige, are you there, if so speak, for all is safe."

Then the voice answered, "Yes, it's Lige." And with her dark eye's all aglow she rushed to the door, and soon was in his arms. After a few sobs and kisses, she released herself and presented her son to me. He is a big manly fellow, but surely must resemble his father, for he does not look a bit like his "tiny little fiery" mother, who seems to be all fire and nerve.

The shades were all drawn, but now, ---- Mrs. Howell opened the window and closed the outside shutters. In the meantime her son had asked, "Where is Luke and Lucy?"

"At the quarters, I suppose." his mother answered.

"Well," he said, "they must be brought up here, the risk is too great, they must be warned."

Mrs. Howell asked me if I would go tell them to come, so I went. After dressing, they followed me rather faltering, up to the house like little children, who were expecting to be punished, but when they stepped inside, their big white teeth bulged out of their heads, seemingly, and in one breath they both exclaimed, "Massa Lige".

"Yes," he said, "and both of you sit down, and don't say that again. (And tapping a revolver which hung in a holster at his side) if either of you ever breath a word of me coming here tonight,--you will get a bullet."

Mrs. Howell began to prepare food for her son. I insisted that she let Lucy and myself do that, while she talked to her son,--to which she readily agreed. We went to the kitchen taking Luke with us. Now he has eaten, the dishes are washed and put away.

Lucy and Luke are sleeping on some quilts in the corner of the dining room.

Mrs. Howell asked me if I would stay up and watch although, she said she hated very much to ask me, but she said, "His life is in danger every minute he is here, and should he be found, they would quite likely burn our house."



Section 10, page 2/5

"NORTHERN YANKEE AND SOUTHERN LADY"

So close Friend I can write up all that I have been doing lately--after the first few days here. The folks here decided to butcher some meat. Mrs. Howell said, "I dread to see it come for Lucy always eats so much fat meat that she makes herself sick. I try to watch her, but don't seem able to keep her from doing it each year." And sure enough she did,--- and right here I am going to make a confession. Mrs. Howell told me to help watch her for she would slip it out and hide it, and I saw Lucy going towards her cabin and thought she had something hid. So after she had gone up to the house to get supper, and Luke was milking, I slipped down to the quarters and looked. Of course there was not many places to search, as they only have a Fire-place, and a bed and a table built to the cabin wall, and a bench which serves for both dining chairs and for a place to rest before the fire.

So I turned up the corner of the bed and there in the cords of the bed, was about two or three pounds of fat pork. I took it in my hand to take it away, and I could not, for she works so hard,-- she needs a lot of food, so I put it back. I suppose that she fried and ate it all that night, in addition to what Mrs. Howell gave her, for next day she was Oh, so sick!

Well, I did the work, I felt like I could afford to if she could stand the sickness. Mrs. Howell told her that she really ought to be whipped. Poor thing she only stood with her head down and never said a word. But Mrs. Howell gave her some medicine, and sent her back to bed. The medicine soon settled her stomach, and next day she went on with her work, but I didn't think she felt so very good even that day. Then in just a few days, Luke hurt his back bringing in a log to put on the fire.

So I helped Lucy milk and do the chores outside. Mrs. Howell was so shocked, when I said that I would help, and asked me if all Northern women worked outside. I told her all that needed to do outside work, did and told her how I helped Pap, in the field, while he came to the shop to sharpen ploughs or shoe the neighbors horses.

She listened, but said when I had finished, "Our Southern women don't do such work. Our fathers and husbands don't even do it. We always have slaves to do such, and if the Yankees free our slaves, what will we do?"

I felt like saying that they could learn,---but close Friend, I am going to take Paps advice and "keep a close lip."

Besides she is giving me a home, so I will bear a lot before I will say anything cross to her, but I can hardly stand it when she says, "Devilish Yankees".

I got another letter from home yesterday, and Mother begged me over and over to stay here, and not go on. I wrote her this morning and promised her that I would not go any farther South, unless I was sure that I could reach John. I know they will feel relieved----I just stopped and put some wood on the fire. I can hear the low murmur of Mrs. Howell and her son in the next room.

They looked into this room a few minutes ago, and I smiled and pointed to the two sleeping slaves, and said, "You are safe as far as they are concerned." Both were snoring loudly.

"Yes," she whispered, "but we will have to keep watch over them until Lige gets safe out of the country, for Luke might tell, and then they would get out a posse to search." (why do they want slaves to be such a worry to them). They all seem to feel they can't be trusted. But I believe that there are some that are loyal, even if they are made to work, I mean those whose Masters are not really cruel to them, for they seem like children----helpless, and act as if they only expected to be corrected and made to work, but Luke is not so much that way as Lucy. Mrs. Howell thinks that he has been talking to the Soldiers, and perhaps he has--.


Section 10, page 3/5

"NORTHERN YANKEE AND SOUTHERN LADY"

Mrs. Howell asked me about my winter stockings, and said she would have Lucy spin me some yarn, and I told her I could spin it, and when I began to spin she came and looked at the yarn, and said, "No wonder you wanted to spin your own." I told her that I liked to spin, and offered to spin her thread also. So she brought out some fire Merino rolls, said that her boys had bought it in New Orleans, a year ago, but she had never had time to stand over Lucy, and make her do it right.

Well, I sure did my best, and if I do say it. I spun her some thread that made her open her eyes. I wanted to show her that the Yankees could do things that the Southern Ladies couldn't. Then when I found out that she wanted it for gloves, I told her that I would knit them, I have one already finished. I knit a long gauntlet and a twisted stitch on top of the hand, and some drop stitches by the side of the twisted stitch. She is delighted with it, and has shown it to her friends. They want me to knit some for them also, and will pay me. I sure am glad to work for myself, and don't have to depend on others to do it for me. The clock on the wall is striking three. I hear Mrs. Howell moving around as if she was getting some cups. I must go and see if she needs me.---

At last, her son is gone. I helped her fix some hot coffee, and some lunch, and then left them alone for I know they feel better to talk alone. Before he left, he came into the dining room and said that he was so glad I was with his mother, and that he was so thankful to me for what I had done for them tonight. Then I ask him if he knew any one by my name. He said, "No, but I will remember it, and if I ever meet John, I will tell him where you are, and befriend him in every way."

He then awakened Lucy and Luke, and ask them if they were going to work and take care of the place and mind his mother. They stood blinking their eyes so solemn like, and answered, "Yes, Massa" to every question----What have the white race to ask those poor "Darkies" to work and care for them? They are God's creatures. I think all should work and care for themselves.

Well, since Lige has gone, Mrs. Howell came and told me I could go to bed, but she looked so little and frail and had been crying, so I told her I would rather write as I was not sleepy, so I helped her undress and got her into bed. My heart ached for her, so I told her to sleep if she could, for I would keep watch over the slaves, and she said not to let them out of the house for any purpose whatever. That we would all have to cook and eat at the house to-day. And that Luke and Lucy would have to sleep up here at the house another night, so as to be sure Lige would get out of the country. She is so unstrung and nervous, she is really sick.

She had not seen her son in seven months, and had not heard in over a month.

Now I think I shall stop writing, and wake Lucy and get some breakfast--and when Mrs. Howell wakes up, then Luke and I will go feed. I know she would not let him out alone, for fear that he might see a "Yankee" soldier, or else another slave. So the night has been well spent, for I have helped them and myself also, I have been wanting to write, but had so much to do that I could not find time for my writing.


Section 10, page 4/5

"NORTHERN YANKEE AND SOUTHERN LADY"

December 1, 1861.

Dear Close Friend:----Another year will soon be gone, and this awful war is still unsettled. Mrs. Howell has been almost sick ever since her son was here and left again. She said that he was hopeful that things would be settled by Spring. The Southern people are all worried for all the men are in the Army, except real young boys and the old men. The slaves are getting so impudent and independent, and wont hardly work at all. The Northern Soldiers tell them not to work. That they will soon be free, and many are leaving and going to the camps. I told Mrs. Howell not to worry, that I could farm and that we would not starve. Luke does not openly rebel against orders, but just drags at his work and never gets much done in a day. He knows that Mrs. Howell can't punish him. But I really believe that she would shoot him, if he refused to obey her. She has a firey temper when she gets mad.

Well we had dull Thanksgiving. Luke killed a wild goose, and Lucy cooked us a real dinner. But my mind kept going back to last year, (I was troubled then, but now, its so much worse,) So we didn't feel so thankful as I know we should,----but next day I got a letter from home and inside a short note from John. He thinks that I am there, but said not to try to answer, as he was moving all the time, but would write me as often as he could. So I had my Thanksgiving then. He was at a place called Belmont, in Mississippi Co, Missouri.----

How useless it is for me to try to find him, as they are surging back and forth across the country. But I am better this far South than at Pap's and make trouble for him, but what will John do if he ever comes to Pap's and finds that I am gone, but they will tell him where I am, and that I am going to stay here as long as I can. Mrs. Howell is nice to me and naturally thinks my folks are in sympathy with the South. She knows that Pap is too old to go to war, and brother John is too young, yet if she knew all, I don't know what she would think. The soldiers are a common sight now, hardly a day passes that some don't pass. I am afraid, but Mrs. Howell isn't, at least, she doesn't show it if she is.

A few days ago four men came riding up the road, and dismounted at the gate, and said that they wanted to come in and get warm, for a cold misty rain was falling. We stirred the fire and gave them chairs, but what they really wanted was to ask questions, but very little did they learn from her. She did most all the talking, for which I was glad. They asked her if she had a husband, and she told them she was a widow and that I was her companion. Then they asked her if she had any menfolks. She waited until they asked her again, and then answered,"Yes, I have two sons in the Rebel Army,---now do you feel better."

"WELL" they said, "they had better be trying to save the Government instead of saving their "Niggers". I suppose you have some?"

"Yes, I have a man and woman," she answered.

"Well we want to go out to their quarters and talk to them."

Mrs. Howell turned and told me to go bring them up to the house---for she said, "you can ask them anything you like, but if you talk to them it must be in my presence."

So when they came in, the men asked them if their mistress was good to them, and if she made them work hard.--and also if she made them work when they were sick, and things like that. Both Lucy and Luke said they didn't want to leave Mrs. Howell, that they had no place to go.

"Oh, well when Abe Lincoln whips these Rebels, he will divide what they have with you black folks who have worked and made it.

At this Mrs. Howell rose up from her seat, her black eyes fairly flashing, and said, "Lucy, you and Luke go back to quarters! And if you men are warm, leave my house. At least Abe Lincoln has not whipped us yet, and I suppose our homes are ours, until he gets them divided."

My, I was so scared. They looked at her rather insolently, and after a few more words, got on their horses and rode away. She said afterwards that she was afraid they would return and do us some harm.

And that night I awoke at every noise. She is braver than I ever could be, she said that they were just stragglers out away from camp, running around, trying to find out what they could, but they didn't get enough here to pay them for their trouble. But if they should have talked to Luke and Lucy, they probably would have put a lot of foolishness in those "Niggers" heads.



Section 10, page 5/5

"NORTHERN YANKEE AND SOUTHERN LADY"

December 15, 1861

Dear close Friend:


Here it is almose Christmas, but what's the use of trying to celebrate the birth of Jesus at such a time as now. He who said, "Peace on Earth" seems now to be forgotten.

Last night Mrs. Howell, and myself went out into the field and dug a hole and buried all our jewelry, one small breast pin and her wedding ring, and all the silver in the dining room, except a set of knives, forks and spoons. When we got back to the house, we were both shaking, and for myself it wasn't all from cold---I still feel sl creepy. You never can tell when a black slave is trailing you. Seems like they would gladly let them go, so as to be rid of all this trouble and fear.--so it must have been nearly two O'clock when we got to bed.

Mrs. Howell heard from her sons to-day. So Lige got out of the country safely--

This morning a troup of Federal soldiers came riding past, and as the last ones were passing, they saw us looking out the window and when they waved at us and we did not return the salute, the shouted, "The Union and Abraham Lincoln for-Ever, Down with the Rebels." Mrs. Howell shook her fist at them. Oh, sometime she will get into trouble I am sure.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot-----today I shod the first horse that I ever tried--Luke wanted to haul some wood and one horse was without a shoe. The man who does such work for all the neighborhood is sick. So I told Mrs. Howell that I could, and so I succeeded. I knew I could. I had watched Pap do it so often, and when I came into the house and told her that I got it put on the horse alright, she put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me, and said, "I am begining to see how foolish it is not to know how to work. I want you to begin to learn me some of the things that you know how to do----but I don't want to start in on shoeing a horse, as I would be scared to death, if I thought I had to lift up a horses leg, much less try to drive a nail in the shoe,---anyway you are a great help to me. I don't know how we could get along without you."

So Close Friend, I feel that even a "Devilish Yankeee" is of more value in these times, than Southern Ladies, but I should not say such things, for they don't really intend to be so helpless. It's the result of years of slavery, and of course they don't know anything different, and really she is good to me. I love her, and I am going to help her learn how to do things like spining and weaving, and how to plant things when it comes Spring time. Then if she ever has to do for herself, she can.

Well, I must stop writing for a while, and try and work some. I am making a chair tidy for Mrs. Howell, and a pretty pin-cushion for Lucy for Christmas presents, even if we are so troubled. We must try and make all as happy as possible, for how else can we celebrate our Lord's birthday, how I wish that all men everywhere would stop and think of his teachings--I am sure if they would, that this cruel war would soon be over, for He said, "Love Ye One Another"


Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 11, page 1/3

A GLIMPSE OF HELL

It is June----God's great noonday of the year---come walk with me. Yes, it's early. The eastern skies are rosy, and the air is damp with dew, but I want to show you some of the wonders of God's great creation.

Let's go out west of the town, and climb up that high ridge, and watch the Sun rise. -- I tell you the sight is beautifle, I want you to catch the first rays of the Sun as it comes up and falls over the town gliding the Church spires, and see the windows flashing in the light. Can you not smell the roses, as we pass the doors of the homes? And soon we will come to the highways. I want to show you some pretty little farm houses nestling in the valley,--- I have walked out many times along this road, and sat and gazed at the ever interesting sight of the darkness giving away to the Dawn of another day, and when I had feasted my eyes on the sight, then I could understand what God meant, when He said, "It is good."

Let us sit here on the ledge of this rock for this is my favorite view, from here over there to the South, where the woods begin. On the hill will be beautiful for there is a heavy dew this morning. Don't you almost seem to hear the voices of God in this still silence. Soon the birds will begin the first timid calls to their mates, and as the day fully breaks they will swell a chorus of praise, that no earthly mind can understand,--but I am sure that their creator knows, while we only hear the melody.

But listen! What is this strange sound I hear. I have been here many times before and have never heard sounds like these before. They are so different, low, subdued sinister, they have no place here in this sunrise! And look! What are those dark shadowy silent figures, slipping past. I can see most distinctly now for the Sun is tipping the ridge, and instead of a Glorious view of Nature--as we expected to see, we are looking at Companies of Gray, men dressed in Gray uniforms. Men in whose eyes the fire of hate--and vengeance, are smouldering, and also in whose faces stand out lines of suffering and tragedy---------

For we are at Getteysburg, Let us go along the ridge a short distance. There is a road leading into town from the North--Perhaps it's clear, and we can go into town from that way, but no,-- this road is filled with artillery, ammunition wagons, and great marching masses of Gray uniformed men, and over there in the East, on that road where the Sun is lighting up the tree-tops with gold and turning the dewy grass into a sparkling lake of beauty. The sun is glistening on the Sabers and barrels of the Infantry guns, as the Gray Army, with steady, slow, rhythm, neither looking to the right or the left are marching into town, and over there to the South, the Blue Uniforms of the Federals, under Gen. Meade, are as silently and resolutely marshaling their forces.

Let us go back into this--we cannot help, rather let us go up higher on the ridge, and pray that the conflict will be short, and that the God of battles will give Victory to the Right, and Pardon all.

Hark! there is the bugle calling to Arms. See they are forming on the lower levels of this ridge we have just left west of town. How! and why, has all this glorious scene changed so quickly. A few hours ago the quietness and the twitter of the birds--Now__the call of the bugle, and roll of drums. Horses with Gallant riders astride, dashing back and forth. Shouts of the drivers of ammunition wagons, as the poor tired horses straining at the heavy cannons and loads of supplies. And always, the long steady stream of men marching into town.



Section 11, page 2/3

A GLIMPSE OF HELL

The Sun is now climbing high into the Heavens, and as we look to the South a solid wall of Blue greets our eyes, with the same frantic preparations going on---Finally a semi-silence prevails, soon followed by the shrill call of the Bugle. Flags are flaunted from each Army, and the "Cannons Speak" only to answer each other over and over while the hills tremble at their voices. -- and the hot July Sun beats steadily down on all. Teamsters bringing ammunition, stretcher-bearers carrying what wounded they can get, and also the dead lying in the field.

Oh when will this cease! But look, the Blue fields seem to be retreating slowly. Yes, they are moving back now, and they are firing more slowly from both sides, perhaps the worst is over. Now the Drums beat, and the Bugle is sounding again, and the men are marching into town, seem as if the Confederates have won the battle, still the Federals are again on Cemetry Hill South of town. But the Confederates have them outnumbered, and tonight they will quite likely retreat for good, so we will sit and watch the Sun sink out of sight, and the night will hide or at least take away some of the ghastliness out of our sights.

But as the moon comes up the valley is a seething mass of humanity, for the Armies are caring for their sick and dead. Already a steady stream of Blue coated men under General Meade are pouring in from the South.

And when the second day of July dawned, the Union Army was setting itself in battle lines once more. Now you can see General Sicklen is moving his men over to the left into that little orchard there in the valley west of Little Round Top Mountain. They don't seem so very strong at that point though. Both General Meade and General Lee have rode out in plain view, and with their field-glasses are searching the valley,--our hopes of last night were in vain it seems. For now you can see a Company of men drawing up in formation, and they are facing the Federals out there to the left.

For hours now, we have watched the scenes of yesterday, and while the Union men have retreated back to Cemetry Ridge they are standing firm, and over there at Little Round Top, do you see that desperate struggle? How long can mortal man hold out in such a conflict? But now, it's growing dark, and see the Confederates have gained a foot hold on Culp's Hill.

Once more, "The Sunrise", Gods creation still moves on even if man has forgot that. He said, "The voice of they brothers' blood crieth unto me from the ground". And as we look away to the South once more, we see the Blue Uniforms of General Meades Army. OH! How much longer can this last. Let us go around to the west ridge where we stood yesterday morning, and see what it there. See yonder is the road that enters town from the west, and more men marching steadily forward. Where do they all come from? And is victory for either side worth all this slaughter. Here comes the wagon trains with ammunition! Poor horses see them covered with sweating, and their poor half starved bodies, a mass of welts and bruises, from the last of the driver's whip. Look at that driver yonder, he is pushing with his strength to help his team over that rise. His whip drags at his side, but ever he is urging his team forward. He is thin and worn himself, and look his right arm is stiff at the elbow, for he tried to reach up to straighten the harness and could not reach it. and had to use the left hand,--well, we shall go look for a different scene.



Section 11, page 3/3

A GLIMPSE OF HELL

We are almost back to our place where we sat the other day.

But, Oh, what different scenes. Below us in the valley, instead of a peaceful little town, is a seething mob of men, and horses, windowless houses, and those with great holes in the roofs; while between us and there, the trees are broken and the earth is dotted with fallen men lying in the hot July Sun,----no use to shut the eyes or turn the head, for such a sight as this is burned on the brain, and can never be forgotten. The Officers have been galloping across the valley for over an hour, and now it's almost one o'clock.

Listen! The Bugle is sounding a call to Arms, and Forward to Battle and Oh!, the earth and sky seem falling for:--- Lee has sent a folley of shots from over a 100 cannons right in the center of Meade's Army on Cemetry Hill, and now the Union guns reply,----Oh, lets go back across this ridge and not look upon any more of this.

For over an hour we have waited and still the heavy rumble of guns. Here comes more ammunition wagons. There is that fellow that we saw at noon. Oh, look! His horse has fallen exhausted. "Poor beast, Poor man". for only an instant he wavers, then he begins to cut the straps and free the wagon and the other horse from it's dead companion. What will he do? Oh, this constant scream of guns. Whats That! The neighing of a horse? Yes, and up the road comes galloping with reins dragging is a Cavalry horse, poor, crazed animal, it halts and trembles at the side of the horse standing alone at the wagon. Now the wagons coming up from behind seem to halt,-- but are waved onward by this driver and now he is quieting the frightened animal and removing the saddle. It stands and quivvers as John (for it is our John) is adjusting the harness, and soon is helping to pull the load of supplies back down into the awful destruction from which it has just fled. Now from out the South east of town, comes new recruits for the Confederates.

General Longstreet is sending Picketts Division against the center of Meade's Army on Cemetry Ridge. Alexander is still pouring a hot fire of artillery into their ranks and calling for ammunition to feed his 150 guns. "Mid this awful noise and over the bodies of dead men-- John is urging his frightened team, while gunners are running out along the lines and grabbing the supplies from the wagon, and loading their red-hot guns and standing on tip toes as they fire, to keep from being thrown flat upon the ground by the concussion, shells bursting and men groaning, and then, Darkness, for John, another sprang to the wagon, and it moved on up the line, for war must be fought, and Cannons must have food.

NOW: NOW: S-e-e, there goes Picketts men forward. Pickett is seated on his horse gallant and graceful, riding down that awful slope. Now comes Trimble, his men saluting their Commander General and recieving his in return. The artillery is supporting them wonderfully, and on they go into that raging sea of Death. Now the wind lifts a could of smoke, and the double lines of the Federal Army are in view as they advance Meade's guns open fire, but they do not halt or take heed of them, only move forward in quickened pace, not returning fire,---- when half way acrosss the field, Pickett gave order, "Left Oblique", which they calmly obeyed, then "Forward" once more. Such wonderful display of courage and nerve!

"Kemper has fallen from his horse", but his Virginians never faltered. Now they are breaking, and a scattering fire is sent toward the Federals. An officer gallops by and commands them to cease firing and save their ammunition, and now they reload and move forward once more, the ranks are thining very fast. "Where are the supporting Divisions?" They can't hold out forever, yet amid the roar of guns and cries of the wounded and dying, we can see them halt,---form line,---then go forward coolly; they wait the command,---and at last it comes.

"Forward" "Quick March" -----and Pickett's men went forward into the bloodiest battle of the Civil War. Their ranks were thining fast, but ----ever they halt, --re-form, ---- and go forward. they are about a hundred yards away from the enemy, and a flanking force is pouring into their ranks a deadly fire of musketry and under this cross-fire, they reel--and stagger--as the fight rages, muskets seem to cross.

And now the Artillery has delivered it's last round of ammunition-- One Officer is leaping the stone wall, sword in hand calling to his men to follow. And, Look! the Confederate Flag is floating over Cemetry Hill.--- but now neither Flag is to be seen.

Oh, if they could have only got Heath and Pender's divisions up to their support. But now back they come. Oh, how few of those gallant Virginians, and the Gray Uniforms of the Confederates.

Back, Back, they slowly come over the bodies of their comrades leaving the flag lying on the ground, which was all drenched in blood from the bodies of dead and dying soldiers, and the flag was left on Cemetry Hill where they had so bravely planted it.

For three long days upon those ridges,

a Deaths Angels did Abide,

It seemed that Hell hath ope'd her mouth

To let men gaze inside.

Ann Farris.

Note: Such was the battle of Gethysburg (Gettesburg). 23,000 slain.



Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 12, page 1/5

CEMENTING THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

February 6, 1863

Dear Close Friend:

It's been so very, very long (over a year) since I have recorded a line in your pages, and there is so very much to write, that I don't know where to start in, and if Mrs. Howell comes home and finds me writing, I may have to stop, for I have been sick.

First of all, Mrs. Howell's son, Sam, slipped home for a few days at Xmas. How glad Mrs. Howell was! He was a smaller man than Liege, and looked more like his mother, and had more of her firey temper also. I think his visit started all the trouble. As I worte in you once before that Luke was getting so stubborn and insolent about all the work. So I suppose that Mrs. Howell spoke to Sam about it, and the second day that Sam was home, He sent Luke to get wood for the fire. He started away so slow and indifferent, that Sam struct him with a cane that was handy, and Luke was never the same after that, although he never let Sam Howell see that he was sulky. Sam only stayed two days and left, and next morning after Sam had gone, Mrs. Howell sent Luke to town for some things. He rode Dude (my horse) and we have never heard or seen anything of him since---I suppose he met some Federal Soldiers, and was mad at Sam for striking him, and was persuaded to go with them.

When Mrs. Howell questioned Lucy about him, she only rolled her big white eyes and said, "I sho das'ant know er ting eabout him, Missie".--At first Mrs. Howell inquired about him, and then an advertisement in the paper and some hand-bills, with his description printed on them, and these were all posted or passed out in all the nearby towns. But it was useless, as the slaves are leaving their Masters quite often now and they hardly ever get them again.

Well, after Luke left, I did all the outside work. Mrs. Howell would have hired some one, but there was no one to get. Mr. Blanchard came over with six of his slaves, and put them to work cutting and sawing wood, and now we have a nice lot of wood, enough to do us until Spring, I think. But of course I had to do all the feeding and milking and got a heavy cold.

One night a few weeks ago, I felt so sick and went to bed early. I told Mrs. Howell that I had a bad headache. She gave me some medicine and next morning I could not get up. So she sent Lucy over to Mr. Blanchards, and he went for the Doctor. Mrs. Howell and Lucy took turns in caring for me, and she has moved Lucy up to the house, since she has given up ever getting Luke back again. She gave her a back room over the kitchen. I am glad, for I feel sorry for Lucy. I know she is lonely for him, but Mrs. Howell just laughs at me when I say it, and answers and says, "is a hog lonely, when you take one out of the pen?' But, any way just the same, I believe that she is. She tried to do as much for me as Mrs. Howell, when I was sick, but of course she did'nt know how to care for me as well, but she was so willing, and would change the cold clothes on my head, and rub my hands and arms so tenderly.

Well, I am feeling almost myself once more, and this morning I told Mrs. Howell that I thought I would spin some, and she said, "Indeed, you must not. I will not allow you to make yourself sick again." And she is learning to cook, and sometimes she dries the dishes, as I wash them, and now she always makes her own bed. For Lucy has so many things to do now that Luke is gone. I am sure the Southern women are as energetic as the women of the North, only they have been raised to think that the whites must not do manual labor, but give them sewing or things that they feel is their kind of work and they are as busy as can be, and seem to injoy it. Mrs. Howell has been learning to make biscuits, and what she had for breakfast were real nice, and she was so proud of them. Of course Lucy does most of the cooking.

I don't know how much longer the food is going to last, or what we to taste very good. For we can't buy a bit of salt, since the Federals have taken possesion of the railroad, and we are using just as little as possible of the small supply that we have, and hoping that the stores will be able to get some soon. I see Mrs. Howell coming, so I am going to put you away. I don't think she would approve of me writting today, and I don't like to do things that she don't want me to do, and she tried so hard to take care of me, and feels so very badly about me getting sick, so if I should happen to feel worse again she would think it was the writing.

I have not heard from home in a long time. I think a letter would make me well again, but no one gets any mail, so we just have to wait and hope.

L. E. D.



Section 12, page 2/5

CEMENTING THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

February 17, 1863.

Dear Close Friend:-----

Tonight I am going to tell you all my nice letter from home. All were well, but had not heard anything from John. I am so homesick. Close Friend, you are the only one that I can tell my troubles to.

Mrs. Howell and myself sat last night before the fire, for a long time neither of us had spoken. At last, she turned and said, "does the wind make you lonely when it blows like it does tonight?"

I answered that I was lonely at most any time. She reminded me of my letter from home, "but that's not hearing from my husband" I said. Then we began to talk of her boys and John, and soon we were both crying. So we agreed to not to talk of them and keep our thoughts to ourselves as we thought we could be braver that way. And so, now when we are silent I always try to read or ask her advice about some of the work and I suppose that it's best.

Oh, yes, I must tell you about our Salt. You see the stores could not possibly get any more and ours gave out. I never, never realized what a great necissity salt is and how much we need it for our food. The food was so flat, and we could hardly eat the butter. So one day I was out in the meat-house (smoke-house). It had been raining and the dirt was very damp (it was a dirt floor)> -- and so an idea struck me. Now the salt in this dirt draws the moisture. Why can't we take this earth and put it in water and then boil the water away, and get some salt that way. We tried a small bit of it, saw that we could get a small amount of dark colored salt by changing the water and boiling it again and again. So we got out the big kettle, that they used to butcher hogs, and all the big pans and tubs. We dug the earth down about 18 in. deep all over the floor and by much changing and boiling, we got about two gallons of salt. It's not very white, but it's better than doing without. Mrs. Howell says that if the War lasts much longer, she thinks the Southern people will get so accustomed to "Hard-times" and doing unthought of things, that they will turn Cannibals and eat their "Niggers" and save Abe Lincoln the worry of freeing them---it is hard for them I know, for they have always had such easy times.

Oh, yes, I went to town last week, and bought Mrs. Howell and myself some goods to make us some Spring dresses. Also had my foot measured for a pair of shoes. The shoe-maker says that he can't get them finished for several days or perhaps weeks. He has so many ahead of mine. And while I was there I bought Lucy a red and blue Bandanna Handkercheif to tie on her head. She only has pieces of white cloth. At first I thought Mrs. Howell was not going to let me give it to her. She says that you can't do things like that without spoiling "Niggers". I told her I was sorry, but only wanted to give Lucy something for being so good to me when I was sick.

So she said finally, "Give them to her then, but twill make a fool of her." I gave them to her that night after the dishes had all been put away. And Mrs. Howell and myself saw her through the window that night at ten o'clock standing before her small mirror, tying first one then the other on her head, and placing the other one around her shoulder for a shawl. We watched her change them a few times, and Mrs. Howell gave a short laugh and said, "Did'nt I tell you that it would make a fool of her." Then she called up to her "to go to bed at once", for she was usually in bed by seven or not later than eight o'clock, and I suppose that she slept with them by her pillow. But next morning she came down with the white cloth, and Mrs. Howell told her to go get the red one and put it on and she was so delighted.

L. E. D.



Section 12, page 3/5

CEMENTING THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

February 25, 1863.

I got my shoes today, the shoe-cobbler got them made sooner than he expected, as a man got killed that had ordered a pair ahead of mine. I never could understand why they called them "shoe-cobbler" until I saw these shoes. Why, the hair of the animal is in two spots on one shoe, but I suppose that I will soon get rid of the hair as I am going to begin to plough next week. Mrs. Howell is "agasht at the idea." But Mr. Blanchard has been so kind to us all winter and spring, and three of his "Field Niggers" ran away after he had sold one, so now he is short of help, and I told her that I had ploughed at home while Pap did work in the shop. But anyway I am going to plow a garden, and the potato ground and then maybe more later on. Mrs. Howell is learning to milk, but almost upsets the bucket if the cow moves a foot. She thinks she is going to get hurt and jumps up and screams, but she is determined to learn so she deep at it.

----------------------------------------------------------

March 2, 1863

We got our new dresses done last week, and wore them to Church today. I did not enjoy the service so much as the Minister kept trying to justify Slavery in his sermon. He referred to the Bible, where Ham a son of Noah was cursed of the Lord and that God had said that he should be a servant to his brethern, "but I doubt if any of these Southern People can trace their Ancestors that far back." Ha, Ha. So the sermon was lost to me. We went from Church home with the Blanchards for dinner which I enjoyed more than the sermon, then late this evening I got another ride in the stately carriage, with the two "Nigger slaves" one driving and the other opening doors. Mrs. Howell said, as we drove along, "this is the way we Southern People always lived until the war, but I don't know but that we would be just as happy to have our Sons and Brothers and Fathers drive for us, that is, if we could have them home with us once more." All this begins to look foolish to me. Poor Southern people, a lot of their sons, brothers, and fathers will never return, but I do hope her sons do, for she just idolizes them both.


Section 12, page 4/5

CEMENTING THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

March 14, 1863

You should see me farming. Mrs. Howell worries all the time about my hands, and when I would not wear gloves, she went out and wrapped the plow handles with rags, so that my hands would not get so rough and calloused, and every night when I come in from the field, she and Lucy to wash my feet, and when I rest a bit, we eat supper, then Lucy washes the dishes, and if Lucy has been working hard, sometimes Mrs. howell dries them for her.

I never saw such a change in anyone before. She is a good little woman even if she does fly mad sometimes, and say "Devilish Yankees" And had she been raised in the North, she would have been able to do anything that other women do, for when she decided to learn something she keeps right at the job, until she learns, and more than that she does it well before she stops. She got a letter from her boys last week. I surely was glad.

Oh, when will this awful war be over, so I can go home and see John again. If I didn't work so hard I believe I would go crazy. And when I come in tired at night, then I can go to sleep. Others can go to sleep and want their Niggers, but at this time I don't know what I would do, unless I did work. That's all that keeps me from worrying and grieveing, and I think Mrs. Howell is begining to see that idle hands are not so good for people.

Yes, the hair was soon gone from the shoes when I began to plow, but they made blisters on my feet, and I think I am getting some corns on my toes. The cobbler said that the leather was not properly tanned but that he could not give it time, as he had so many orders ahead. Lucy greases them with tallow to make them softer. Poor Lucy, she would almost jump in the fire for me, and calls me "Miss Vina". She seems to think "Lavina" is too much to say.

The Negroes are a queer people so meek and helpless, the grown people among the blacks seem like little children. Today Lucy came and stood by me as I was getting ready to start to the field. I thought that she wanted to say something to me, so just as I was ready to go, I looked up at her and smiled, so she said, "Miss Vina, are you going to plow the ground for the water-mellon patch?"

I told her, "Yes", and she seemed so pleased. You see that Lucy has always been a house slave, and don't know much about field work, only to hoe or pull weeds.

Mrs. Howell worries all the time, she thinks that I will not be able to tend all that I have planned to grow, but I think that I can. The garden is growing so nice, and Lucy is so good about pulling weeds. We have never heard from Luke, and Lucy doesn't seem so lonely now. She asked to go over to Mr. Blanchard's last Sunday afternoon, and you should have seen her when she was ready to go. Her "Linsey" was a blue, with yellow, red and green plaid. (Mrs. Howell sais that she had asked to have it dyed those colors. She had greased her shoes with tallow, and then rubbed soot on them from the wall of the fire-place, and her red Bandanna Handkerchief on her head, and the blue one on her shoulders, and a white apron tied around her waist, and her brass finger ring polished until it glittered in the sun. She set forth as well pleased with herself as a society "Bell" in an evening outfit. Poor thing, I am sure they have a desire for beautiful things, even if their tastes do run out for loud colors. She was back home at the exact hour that she was told to be, and seemed so cheerful. I suppose a visit means as much to them as it does to us. Mrs. Howell said that just between us, we were spoiling Lucy. I don't think she ever was so very cross with her and Luke, but now, she lets her do a lot of things that she should scold her for, but she hates to see the look on my face each time she does, as if she had hurt me also. I really don't intend to look that way, but I just can't help it, I feel so sorry, for they intend to do rite and then they look so helpless and frightened when their Masters and Mistresses scold them.

A few mornings ago we heard loud screams, and Mrs. Howell said she supposed Mr. Blanchard was having one of his men whipped. It was awful, and I thought of it all morning. No wonder they run away. I don't think I can ever feel the same to Mr. Blanchard again.

No letters from home now for over a month, but I sent them one and told them about being sick, and how Mrs. Howell and Lucy were to take care of me.

Well, I must close and get to bed, for to-morrow I must begin to plow my corn.



Section 12, page 5/5

CEMENTING THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

April 1, 1863

Well I must write down what a nice April Fool I got to-day. This morning Mrs. Howell said, "Suppose we go to town, I want to get some things."

So we harnessed the team to the carriage, and went to Dardenell. We stayed most of the day, and when we came home, a neighbor was just leaving with three teams and big, black field-slaves, and they had plowed my corn so nicely. Mrs. Howell and Mr. Grayson exchanged glances as I said, "How kind of you to do this for us."

She never said, but I believe she knew he was going to do the plowing. Lucy had cooked dinner for them. Well, It sure helped me a lot. Now I can plow the garden and potatoes and mellon patch.

Mrs. Howell says she doubts if we raise very much to eat, for the soldiers will get most of it before it ripens. We don't see so many soldiers now as most of the fighting is in Tennessee, Virginia and Missippi, but we hear of all the desperate battles, and I feel that I can't stand it much longer if I don't hear from John or the folks at home. Mrs. Howell got a letter from one of her sons. It was Sam, and he had seen Lige just a few days before he wrote, both were well. Oh, how much it helps to hear. She was like a different woman, and as we sat by the fire that night she talked and laughed and even hummed a tune, as she basted a few seams. How I hope they both come home safely. I have never told her that Pap is a Union Man. I am afraid it will make a difference between us, and after all she does'nt need to know. She tries so hard to be a help. To day Lucy came out in the field to help, and when we went in at sunset, Mrs. Howell had cooked supper all by herself, and every thing was good, only she forgot to put salt in the biscuits, but I think she does fine never to have done any work before.

After supper we washed the dishes, while Lucy did the milking. We only have two cows to milk now. To-night after it's late we are going to dig up her thread, as what she left in the house is all gone. and she is going to make two neighbor ladies a dress apiece, and a white bonnet for one of them.

You can't buy a hat as the Milliners can't get any from the shops. If people don't raise their food, I don't know how they are going to live. Thats why I am trying to farm, because it does'nt make any difference how much money one has, if the stores does'nt have it, we surely can't buy.


Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 13, page 1/5

SHARING BURDENS

April 20, 1863

Dear close Friend:

I am very tired to-night, but am so happy for I got a letter from home today, and one that John had sent. He was at Corinth, Mississippi, when he wrote, and was recovering from wounds he received while scouting for General Johnston, and General Marmaduke, and was betrayed by a slave of the woman who took him in to rest and sleep during the day, and when she found the slave had left the premises, she had warned John and helped him to get away, but the Yankee soldiers came and searched the place, and when they could not find him, they started in pursuit, but he got away, only he got shot in the arm, and did not get to medical help soon enough, and so got it infected, but he is almost well, and was preparing to go over into Tennessee to join the command of General Bragg. Oh, to think he was so near me. He said that he crossed the river at Memphis------but I will not complain. What if he had. No, I will not even write the word on the page, but I believe God is still good and will care for both of us.

Grandma Howell came to live with us last week. She is Mrs. Howell mother-in-law. Her husband was not strong and died real suddenly, so she asked to come to us. I have fallen in love with her already with her. And Mrs. Howell is so kind to her. She is very brave in her sorrow, and so, she is really company to us. She was amazed when she saw our crops and garden, and if I do say it, our corn looks as good as the neighbors, and I have done all the work in it, except one days work that Mr. Grayson and his Slaves did when they plowed it over one time. Lucy does most of the hoeing in the mellons. Mrs. Howell says that she likes them so well, is why she is so willing to work in them. Well, we have a large patch, so I hope she gets all she wants.

Every day now we see soldiers. Sometimes Northern, and sometimes Southern. All seem to be concentrating somewhere in the North. Oh, I hope there is no battles near the folks at home.

____________________________________________

May 5, 1863

Well, I don't think that I can sleep tonight. I am all shaky. I don't see how Mrs. Howell does the things that she does.

This evening just at dusk, three Northern Soldiers came into the yard. They saw Lucy first, as she came in from the woodpile with some kindling, and said a few words to her, then they came up the front entrance. Mrs. Howell met them at the door. They asked for the men of the family, and was told that they were not at home, then they asked if they might have lodging over night. Mrs. Howell told them that they might sleep in the barn. One of them said, "Well, how about all the boasted hospitality of the South that we have heard so much about?"

Mrs. Howell said, "You cannot expect us women folks to take you in our homes with our men folks gone."

Then he gave a short laugh, and an insulting look at us, and said, "why not?", and tried to push Mrs. Howell out of the door. She reached into her bosom, and pulled out the dirk-knife, that she carries now most of the time. He stepped back, and placed his hand on his revolver and Mrs. Howell said, "We Southern women are given to hospitality also, we are not cowards, and we will defent our honor, even unto death. So, if you have made up your minds to start war with helpless women, you must know that you come into this house only over my dead body."

By this time Grandma Howell had gone into the back porch and got an ax. So I tried to steady my trembling hands, as I took it from her. Don't know if I could have done very much fighting or not, I was so frightened,-- but the men took a long look at Mrs. Howell's face. I think her black, flashing eyes must have burned a hole in their consciences, for they muttered a few words to each other and went out and untied their horses and rode away. I sat down and cried and trembled, Mrs. Howell says that she don't think they will return, but I am afraid.

Close Friend, I can work, but it takes a Southern Lady to fight. She said that she made up her mind that death was preferable to dishonor, and that no Develesh Yankee could whip her or make her afraid.

I am not sleepy, and would not go to sleep if I was. Grandma Howell, and Mrs. Howell are in their room, but I hear them talking, so I guess they are rather nervous since the worst is over. Lucy just seems the same. I don't think she ever understands what its all about. Oh, if we only had a boy or an old man on the place, I would feel a lot safer. The nearest man is Mr. Blanchard almost a half mile away. Of course, he has some men slaves, but I don't know what they would do in a dangerous situation. Dont suppose they would do anything to a Northern Soldier, for they think the Northern men are going to free them, and that they will get a part of their Master's possessions. Some are deserting their Masters, and joining the Federal Army, and all of them are so impudent and lazy, especially where there is a man to boss them. Sometimes I think it is a good thing that Luke left for he was getting so slow, and acted so ugly when Mrs. Howell gave him orders. They might have had trouble, and he could have easily have killed her. I would rather do the work, than have him here with us now.



Section 13, page 2/5

SHARING BURDENS

May 12, 1863

To-day we have had company. It was Grandma's Birthday. So we ask Mr. and Mrs. Blanchard, Mr. and Mrs. Grayson and Sallie Adams and her son and daughter over to spend the day and had a nice dinner. I think we all enjoyed it fine. May Adams is just a bit over a year older than myself, and we went out to see my feilds and as we came back along the hedge fence some soldiers came along the road. They halted and asked about the distance to the next town. One young man rode up close to the hedge fence and looked over at us and smiled at May and said he did'nt mind to fight for as good looking girls as there was in the South. May laughed and said that one of us were a Northern girl, and one was born in the South, which is the Northern and Southern. He would not say which he thought, but he laughed and said that when the war is over, he was coming back the same road, and asked May if she would still be there. She said that she hoped so, and then just as the other men were starting to ride away, he leaned over the fence and dropped a small package at May's feet. Said, "Good bye", and keep this until I return. We were surprised, and he was gone before we could pick it up. We did'nt know what to do, so we picked it up and opened it, inside was a small gold Medal pinned to a bit of cloth and a name on the cloth, and also the card, which was inclosed,-- "Bob Freemont". I looked at May and laughed and said, "what shall we do".

Then we sat down in the shade of the hedge and talked, finally she said, "I never have kept a secret from my mother, and I don't want to begin with this. Let's go to the house and tell them all about it."

I said, "did you think he was handsome." May laughed and said, "Well, yes, I did. Did'nt you?"

"Well" I said, "I was so surprised. I don't think I could tell you hardly how he looked."

May said, "I could pick him out of a thousand."

When we went to the house and told her mother, she was rather shocked, and said that we should have not took the package.

"We did'nt" May replied, "He just dropped it at our feet."

"Well" said Mrs. Adams, "Quite likely you will never see him again, and I think he took quite a bit for granted. Why did he think you would care to see him even if he did come back?" But if you let me express my opinion I believe that she will be glad. Anyway I saw her take it out of her pocket and look at the name and smile, and when she saw me looking she blushed, and said you perhaps think that I am foolish, but it seems so strange to have anyone act that way, and why did he give it to me instead of you.

I laughed and said, "its a good thing that he did, for I am waiting for someone else ---, even war with all it's honors cannot blot out our Love and Romance."

Late this afternoon, all left for their homes. I think we all had a very pleasant day. Unless it was the Adams boy. He sat and listened to the older boys talk. He is about sixteen years old. Would'nt it be terrible if he should enlist in the army. Mr. Adams has been gone over a year now, and he is all that his mother and May have to work for them now. Mr. Adams had two men slaves, but sold them before he went away. He felt that the money would be better for his family than the slaves. May said that her father was afraid to leave them there on the place. Well, I must go to bed, for to-morrow I must work in the field.



Section 13, page 3/5

SHARING BURDENS

June 6, 1863

Only three short weeks have gone since we had our Birthday dinner, and May Adams and myself first met, and now to-day, they have come to live here. It surely is trying times, you never know just what a day will bring forth,----we had such a pleasant day that Sunday, and I made May a visit the next week. They have a lovely home. It reminded me of my own dear home in Missouri. A long porch and big pillars supporting a balcony on which you could walk out upon from the second story front. She and her mother were such gracious hostesses, and in the evening May and her brother Jesse walked home with me between sunset and dark----when it was cooler.

Well, day before yesterday some Northern Soldiers stopped there and ordered a meal, which May and her mother prepared. Some of the men had eaten, and Mrs. Adams was serving another table of men, and one soldier walked into the living room, and seeing May's piano, he asked her to play him a piece of music called, "Dixie".

"Why do you a Northern Soldier ask me to play a Southern Air for you?" May asked.

"Oh well," he replied, "I think the music is pretty." So May was anxious to keep them in a good humor, sat down and began playing it. An officer who was at the table considered it an insult and ordered the men to burn the piano, in vain did May plead and explain, the piano was carried out to the wood-yard and they began to build a fire about it. May and Mrs. Adams threw water on the fire two or three times and begged more and more not to burn it. Finally the Officer said if they did it again, they would surely be sorry, and the fire was started again, and May stood crying, and as the fire began to burn again, she took a stick and began to scatter it, then they burned the home. Oh, what a dreadful thing to do: -- but they did let them have most of their furniture, and all their clothes.

Poor May she is really sick, and I would be also. It was a present from her father, when she graduated from school, and cost $700.00. If anyone had told us men could be so mean, I would not have believed it.

Well, as soon as Mrs. Howell heard of it, she offered to let them move here. I am so glad for May will be company to me, and we seem so much safer with her brother, Jess in the house, but we are not much safer, for what could one young boy do against a crowd of men, for they most always come in from three to a dozen, and sometimes twenty or more, but anyway we are better off and are all better satisfied to be together.

Well, I must not write longer to-night as it is getting late, and larger families make more work. There are six of us now, and Lucy had to move back to the cabin, and let Jess Adams have her room. She acted a little stubborn at first and Mrs. Howell told her that she would have her whipped if she did'nt watch, but I got a chance to talk to her, and told her that I would knit her a pretty pair of gloves for winter and for her not to act that way as we must be good to people in trouble. Poor thing she cried, and said, "Miss Vina, I do any thing fo' you." So she is alright now, but Jess Adams is so man about the house and piano. He says that he is going to enlist, and don't think Lucy will have to stay at the cabin long,---we never know how soon our time might come for trouble, as there is no law or safety anymore. We can only live one day at a time, and be brave.


Section 13, page 4/5

SHARING BURDENS

July 4, 1863

Dear Book: -- It's been almost a month since I wrote a line on your pages, but we have all been so busy, and since May came we spend the evenings talking, and so I have neglected you. We have been drying apples and canning plums. We can't make any jelly, for we have'nt any sugar. Mrs Howell says she don't know if we can ever eat the plums, unless the Southern People get control of the railroads so we can get sugar, and I don't know how we could either, but anyway, no use in not trying, and maybe there will be someway. There is no use in letting them go to waste. Our nice big garden comes in handy now since our family is so large.

Close Friend, I hate to say it, but the Adams family did not plant a thing. They thought their money would buy everything that they needed and after Mr. Adams sold his slaves, they just sat at home and bought all they needed, and now, they can't buy, so they find that there times when it takes more than money to live.

I have been spining some thread. I let May try, but she makes lumps in the thread. We had a big laugh when I ask her if she would like to wear some stockings knit out of her spinning, she said that she thought it would be like walking on rocks. And then when she looked at my shoes that the cobbler had made for me, she said, "But they would go well with those shoes", and we laughed more -- soon she left and went to her room, and when she returned she had a pair of shoes, and wanted me to put them on. Of course, I told her "No", that these I had on were just what I needed to work in the fiekds, but she made me take them. So now I have a nice pair of shoes for church and when I go places. I didn't want to take them, but she would have me. She has several pairs left.

Well, this is July 4th. the day we gained our Independence from England, but we don't feel like celebrating, as Jess left last week and joined the Army. His mother is so broken up over it. She and May cried and cried, and it does seem as they say that the father was enough to send into the fight, but Jess thought it was only a matter of time until he would be compelled to go, and said that he would rather volunteer, and I think myself that all young men will soon be called into service.



Section 13, page 5/5

SHARING BURDENS

July 16, 1863

Tonight I have something nice to write. I got a letter from home they also sent me a letter from John. It was wrote on June 20th. He was at Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Of course that's almost a month ago, but he said his are was well, only a bit stiff yet, but that he was driving an ammunition wagon, and Close Friend, that almost makes me shout for joy, for maybe he won't be in as much danger and of course he won't have to fight.

Today I finished Lucy's last glove, and she was so proud that it was worth the work to make her that glad. She said, "Miss Vina, yo' all don't gib me no gloves, cause I'se back up to de house now."

I said, "I want you to have them anyway." So she took them and said, "De good Lord, he shore will take keer of a little angel lak yo' all is." And I hope he does and my Dear John too, Well, he has so far and I can trust him still.

Oh yes, I must tell you today, I was out in the garden and Lucy came out for vegetables for dinner. She hung back and waited after she had got all the things that she came after. I said, "Lucy, why don't you go, your dinner will be late." Then she said, "Miss Vina, I beliebs we got er water-melon ripe." I just couldnt keep from smiling, for I had seem the melon that she had in mind, and was thinking the same.

So I said, "Lucy you hurry and get dinner, and we will go see." Say, she never did get a dinner so quick, and do the dishes so lively. We met at the melon patch and pulled the melon. The melon would have been a little better in a few days later, but we enjoyed it and then dug a hole and buried the rinds like two bad people that we were, but still I think we were entitled to it first, and it won't be but a few days until there will be plenty for all of us, and all the rest of the evening Lucy rolled her eyes and laughed, when she saw me looking at her...........She thinks that we have a great joke between us. I hope that we get to eat them and that no Soldiers find the patch, for I love them almost as well as Lucy.

We have'nt seen any soldiers for several weeks. Most of the battles are North and East of us in Kentucky, Tennessee and Virginia. How long are they going to fight? I am so homesick to see all the homefolk. Of course the letters help a lot, but oh, I want to see them so much, but I must not begin to write things like this or I will soon be crying, and I want to be as brave as Mrs. Howell and Mrs. Adams. They have given more than I have, and so I will read my letters again and be glad that all are well, and still try to be brave and trust on.

L. E. D.

"If maybe more lofty courage dwells,

In one weak heart that braves an adverse,

Than one whose ardent soul indignant swells

Warmed by the fight, or cheered through high debate.

Norton

Well, it's almost two o'clock, we went and dug up the thread and took out some and sealed it up again and buried it in the same place and in the morning we will put some weeds over the dry dirt. It had kept dry, Mrs. Howell and myself were both afraid that enough moisture might get into it to make it mould or rot.

When we came into the house, just now, Mrs. Howell squeezed me up to her side, and called me her good "Samaritan" I said, "No you are mine." She laughed and said, "Get to bed" it's too late to argue. So now I am off to bed as she bade me.

L. E. D.

More tomorrow.

Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 14, page 1/5

DREAMS COMING TRUE

August 1, 1863

Dear Book:-- I seem to neglect you shamefully of late, but it's so warm, and May and I have been busy making her a hat. One day as we sat at the edge of an oat field talking, I was idly braiding some of the straws, and May discovered that I was using five straws and making a flat braid. "Oh, Lavina, that's almost like the braids in women's hats. How did you do it?"

I showed her how to braid it and then she wanted to know how long did I think it would take to braid enough for a plain white sailor hat. Not long I told her, so we began, but decided to split the straws with a pen knife, and thus make the hat much lighter in weight, so we soaked the straws in water until they were soft, and May split them with a pen-knife and I did the braiding, it really was faster work than I thought it would be. So we had it finished in a few days. May put a black velvet band and a bow and a buckle on the side and it looks at least not bad, and May says "its much nicer than a sun'bonnet, I hate those things."

May and Mrs. Adams are planning to visit some relatives in a few weeks. I know I will be lonely, but they think they will come home before Thanksgiving. They want to stay here close thinking that Mr. Adams or Jess might come home.

_______________________________________________________________

August 6, 1863

I got a letter from home to-day. All well. Mother said the children were all down at the spring playing in the branch. I wish she had not said that, for I can close my eyes and see them having such a merry time hunting shells and pretty little stones---, and of course I love to think of them being so happy, but will I ever get to really be with them again, and see the dear old Spring and the Milk-house. I had begun to think that I was pretty brave, but I want out into the pasture and took a cry. I want letters, to be sure, but Close Friend, sometimes the tears just have to come, and I can't help being homesick. If I had found John it would have been different, but tonight I have got control of my feelings and feel greatful that I can hear from them, and that they are all well.

___________________________________________

August 10, 1863

Dear Book:--- You don't know how much I am going to miss May. It will be terribly lonely I know with just Grandma Howell, Lucy, Mrs. Howell and Myself, but they are going next week. We have been laughing all evening. I suppose that it's good to laugh a bit. For mose of the time we are thinking of loved Ones, who are many miles away and it makes us so sad, but May and I got so hungry for some sweets, and was talking about how hungry we were for some candy or syrup, and decided to try to make molasses from some of our water-melons, we had so many of them. Mrs. Adams and Mrs. Howell laughed at us, but we decided to try at least. So we went down to the patch to see how many was ripe. We told Mrs. Adams where we were going, as we always tell someone, so if we are missed they won't be frightened, but Mrs. Howell and Lucy were upstairs, so Lucy did not know where we were.

First think when we reached the patch, we eat all we could hold, and was sitting in the shade, and we saw Lucy coming. "Let's have some fun out of Lucy," May said. So we ran out in the weeds and hid. When Lucy reached the melon patch, she began to look for a nice melon, and while she was thumping and looking at it, May raised to her feet and sent a rock close to Lucy's feet, and then dropped back into the weeds again and began to groan something awful. You see Negroes are very superstitious, and poor Lucy looked all around, and May stopped groaning, and after a few minutes Lucy began to examine the melon again. Another rock and then more groans from May. This was repeated three or four times, and each time we could see that Lucy was getting more scared and excited, but she stopped and picked the melon from the vine, and just then May let out a half groan, and half shriek that would have made a wild animal ashamed of itself, and that was too much for Lucy. She started with the melon, but as she tripped on a vine she dropped it, so never waited to get another, but ran across the field to the house.

I find that the Negroes are afraid of "Hants" as they call them or ghosts. I suppose Lucy thought the "Spirits" ob de daid" were after her. Anyway we had a big laugh and took some melons and went to the house. Lucy is pretty smart. She must have thought that it was us that did it, for she was sulky and did not want to eat any of the melons at first, but we talked on and Mrs. Adams cut her a nice piece and she could'nt resist, and soon was enjoying a feast as much as any of us. We should have been ashamed, but it was so funny and a run once in a while won't hurt her. Well, this is all for tonight. All are in bed asleep, but me.



Section 14, page 2/5

DREAMS COMING TRUE

August 15, 1863

Well. I must tell about our molasses, we tried out a small quantity and saw that we could get a sticky syrup, so we brought melons and took the red part and put it in a cider press and took the pressed juice and boiled it down to a syrup stage. It sure took a lot of melons. We used the team and hauled a wagon load up at a time. We made about ten gallons. While it's not as good as came syrup, we found it a fair substitute and with butter and hot biscuits, it's not so bad. Mrs. Howell calls it Yankee Glue, but eats some of it anyway, and said that she was glad that we thought of it.

Well, to-morrow Mrs. Adams and May are to start on their visit. May is so much company to me. Well I will have to try to work hard and forget about them as much as I can, until they come back. I suppose Lucy and I can begin to spin and weave a bit even if it is warm. We can work in the evening and early morning when it's cooler. We will have to do the spinning for none of the rest have learned yet. Mrs. Adams and Mrs. Howell went to the ware house last week and bought a lot of wool-rolls.

Oh, yes, I knew that Lucy was pretty wise, this morning we were on milking, and she said, "Miss Vina, was dat yo and Miss May dat throwed the rocks and groaned in the melon-patch dat day?"

I laughed and said, "Yes, are you mad at us, Lucy?"

She didn't say a word for a minute, then she looked at me and smiled, and showed her white teeth and said, "I sho was that night, but who could stay mad at a little white angel lak yo all? I was mos' skeered to daith, ize so afeared o' haints."

I told her that there were no such things, that when people died, their spriits went back to God, if they were good, and to the Bad place if they were bad, and that their spirits never came back to bother people here. And told her that we would never scare her again. So, now I have that off my conscience. Poor Negroes, I don't think Mrs. Howell does, but some of their owners try to rule them, through fear, and they believe all such nonsence and tell it to each other, and the Masters and Mistresses don't bother to tell them different.

Well I got a letter from May to day. They arrived safe and was having a nice visit, but said that she missed me. Well I know she can't miss me more than I miss her, but now, I must stop and go to bed and wake up early, and get Lucy up so we can spin while it's cool. It makes my head ache to work in the heat of the day. Mrs. Howell says to wait until its cooler, but we never know. So I want to get it done as soon as possible. There will be plenty to do later on. For the corn must be gathered and the potatoes dug. At least I don't know who else will do it. For you can't hire any one. The men are all gone, except real old or crippled men, and young boys.

Well, last night I dreamed that the war was over, and I was back home. Lucy says "hit will sho' come ter pass, case yo all tole hit for breakfast." Well I hope so, even if I don't believe in superstitions. So off for bed tonight. L. E. D.



Section 14, page 3/5

DREAMS COMING TRUE

August 18, 1863

Oh, Close Friend, It's almost two O'clock and I have not slept a wink. I came to bed at twelve o'clock, but am up now. I can't sleep so I am going to write. I just must do something, this morning one of the cows was gone, and I went to the back of the feild to hunt for her, and as I came back by the small cane-break. I heard moans. At first I thought I would run, and then I thought of how May and I had scared poor Lucy. Anyway, I said to myself, I am going to see who it is. So I pushed into the deep, dense tangled cane, toward the spot from which the sounds came. I went into the cane about forty-feet. The sounds coming closer all the time, and there lay a black slave. A year ago I would have screamed and run, but now, I have grown more accustomed to Negroes. So I went a bit closer and spoke. He turned his head, and I saw that he was dying, or at least I thought he was then. He said, "please Missie, don't tell anyone that I am here. Let me die. Oh, water water, -- just one little bit."

Well, the Lake was about half-way up to the house. The water was clear so I said, "No, I won't tell, I will get you a drink."

I hurried back to the Lake and took the tin can we had there to dip water for the plants, when we set out tomatoes. Got it full and hurried back. When I got back he did not know me, and was talking with a fever. I wet his lips, and took my handkercheif and wet it and put to his head. And wet his hands and wondered what to do. Soon I wet his mough again, and he tried to drink, but sank back, and said, "Missie, Poor old Missie you are good, but now's my chance to get away from Massie," and then I knew that he was a run-away slave.

Dear Book, I stood and tried to decide right or wrong. He raised his self half way up on his elbow and said, "Springfield can't be so very far now, yes, I must go as soon as it's dark and cool again," and right then I decided that he should die in peace, -- that I would not tell. Well, I stayed as long as I dared, and kept wetting his lips and washing his face with my handkerchief. He seemed to get quieter. I thought he was dying. Then I thought I would go back to the house and get him some milk, if I could without being discovered. When I went back Mrs. Howell said, "What in the world is the matter? You are as white as a sheet, are you sick?"

I said, "No, I suppose I got too hot coming through the cane-break. I am going to rest a bit, and then try and fix the fence."

She said, "Let it go." But she has learned that when I plan to do things that I will go ahead. So, she said no more, but went to her room and soon came out with her bonnet and parasol, and said that she was going to Mr. blanchards on some business, and might not come home until the evening. Now wasn't that luck for me? Soon I was hurrying back across the pasture with some milk and spoon, and some of the fever - medicine that the Doctor gave me when I was sick last Spring.

I found him quiet and sat down beside him, and gave him three spoon of milk, and he swallowed readily, so I poured out some of the medicine and gave him that also, and then more milk. Then I got up and pushed back some of the cane, so the air could come in, and fanned him with my bonnet. Several times he talked of "Missie", and once he pleaded so pitiful for them not to whip him. I gave him some more milk, and got him to stop. I wanted to go back to the house, but was afraid that someone would see me going out and in the cane so often, so I had to stay, and after about an hour I gave him some more medicine, and kept giving him milk.

After while I began to get hungry, and knew it was almost noon. I tied my apron, so that it would shade his head and face, gave him one more spoon of medicine and went to the house. Lucy was almost ready to start hunting for me. I sat down to dinner and Lucy saw my hands tremble. "Yo all don made yo self sick, erbout dat ol' cow and fence" she said, and right there I decided to test out Lucy. So I said, "Lucy do you really love me?"

"De good Lord knows I do," she said "Why I go through fire and brimstone for an angel lak yo all." I laughed and said, "Well, Lucy I don't think it will have to be that bad, but I do want you to help me and not tell anyone a word what we do." She rolled her white eyes and said, "Dey all kin beat dis ole body ter pieces and I won't tell." I then told her all, and promised that I would take the blame if we got into trouble, and then we both went back to the sick slave. Lucy turned him over and loosened some of his clothes. We had brought more milk, and we beat an egg into it and gave that to him. We bathed his feet which we found were blistered after we took off his shoes. Soon he stopped murmurning, and began to breath slow and deep. We sat and talked low and quiet, and Lucy wondered whose slave he could be? I told her about him talking of Springfield, and told her that I thought he was a Northern Slave who had been sold to some Southern person, and was trying to get back North. After about an hour or so, he raised himself on his elbow so startled, and asked at the same time, "Let me go, or else kill me. I won't go back." We pushed him down again and told him to be quiet, that no one was going to harm him, that he was sick. Soon he seemed a bit quieter, and I asked him to dring some of the milk, and he did, then in a weak voice he began to plead with me not to send himback, but to let him die. He knew partly what he was saying, and I thought so, so I told him that Lucy was not my slave, and that I was a woman from the North that was traveling, and that we would not tell, he was there and you should have seen the look in his eyes, as he lifted his poor thin hand and said, "Lord Bless" and closed his eyes.


Section 14, page 4/5

DREAMS COMING TRUE

Well, the wind began to blow a bit and clouds came over the sky, Lucy looked up and said, the word "Rain". "YES" I said, "and what can we do? He can't live if he gets wet as sick as he is now. Do you suppose we could get him to the barn."

Well, we went and got the team and wagon and drove up as close as we could and Lucy went into the cane while I stayed in the wagon. I had almost started to go see what was keeping them, when the cane parted and they came out. Lucy half carrying and helping him along "Miss Vina, he sleep lak a dead man", and even then he seemed half asleep, so we got him into the wagon and drove to the barn and put him back in the crib where the corn had been used out. Lucy got some hay and finally we had him where he could get a cool breeze anyway. Then we told him not to leave, but we would keep him hid until he was better. Then we went to the house. and I felt like I was almost ready to faint the hot sun and no air in the cant-break and excitement had been almost too big a day for me.

Soon Mrs. Howell came, and when she looked at me, she said, "You don't need to tell me you have worked yourself sick. I should have let that business wait, and stayed here and looked after you." She was a bit cross, and with all I began to cry, -- then I saw the "real" Mrs. Howell for the first time. She came over to my chair and dropped down on her knees and began to beg me to stop crying, that she did'nt intend to be so cross, and was so ashamed that she had spoken to me the way she had, when I had been so good to her, and had worked so hard for her and while we cried together, I tried to get her to hush, and that I was not crying over what she had said, only I was tired and nervous. She had me lie down on the couch, and she sat by me and stroked my hair back, and finally she bent down and kissed me, and said, "All my like I have wanted a daughter. By boys are my pride, and are as good as any mother would ask for, but I always longed for just one girl. I never even had a sister, and my mother died when I was small, and all the Mother I ever had was a "Black Mammy" that raised me, and then you came and have been a daughter to me, and I scold you."

I pulled her down to me and kissed her and said if you are going to be my mother, you must not apologize when you correct me for my naughtiness or else your correction won't do any good," then we both laughed. Dear Book, who could guess that beneath those black flashing eyes, and that in a heart brave enough to face all the dangers that I have seen her face, was hid a longing ache for a daughter; Well, it's like many other things that we cannot understand. We just have to enjure and trust, for God knows best.

Well. after Lucy got supper it was cooler then, Mrs. Howell washed the dishes, while Lucy and I went and milked. (The cow came home of her own accord) and we found the slave man, rested, and his fever gone, but weak and tired. We gave him some of the warm milk. He kept looking at me so closely, and just before I started to go to the house he said, "Are you a Northern girl as you said" "Yes" I replied. He said, "And your father a Blacksmith?"

Dear book, my heart began to beat and I could'nt explain how I did feel, but he went on to say, "I thought I could remember you. Your father welded the chains to my wrists, when I was put in the shakles and sold South. You are the girl who fanned the forge, and helped heat the links, but I saw you cry. You did'nt want to did you?"

"Oh, no" I said, "I am sorry". "Don't be er worrin. Lasy it s all ober, and now yo all help me." "Tell me your name?" "Lavina Delzell said. He started up as if I had hit him where I told him my name, and added that I was trying to find my husband, who was somewhere in the South, and then he fell back on the hay, and cried over and over, "Oh, Lord, I can't. Oh, Lord I can't!"

And by now the rain was begining to fall so I said, "Well, we must go to the house, or the Lady will come out to see whats wrong, but none of us will come back before bed-time. Will you promise not to leave, and if you go out in this storm, you will die sure enough."

"I sho will stay Lady. But Oh, Lord, I can't do what I orter do." Well I thought there was nothing else to say so we went to the house. Lucy slipped back before bed-time, and she found a chance to tell me that he was still there and feeling a lot better, and said that he was going to tell me something in the morning, and that is why I am still awake to-night, writing in you instead of sleeping. Oh, I wonder if it's anything about Pap, dear old Pap. If I was not afraid Mrs. Howell would find it out, I would slip out there to-night, for I am not a bit afraid of the Slave man, only I don't know what she might do. I want him to get away, if it's wrong, I can't help it, -- I do, and if he is going back to Springfield, I am going to get him to go see Pap and Mother. I'll tell him not to be afraid.

Well, I can't sleep, but there is nothing more to write to-night, but to-morrow night I will put down what he tells me.

L. E. D.


Section 14, page 5/5

DREAMS COMING TRUE

August 19, 1863

Oh, My dear close Friend: -- What I have just heard will never wait until to-night. I have heard from John. I must go now and eat breakfast, but just had to write this to make it seem more real.

Oh, can it be true! And will he still be there when I get there. I know he would not have told me that unless it were true. I wish I could slip out there and talk to him for hours, but someone would surely suspicion something. I must manage someway, -- but Mrs. Howell is calling me to breakfast now, so later on I will finish.

Dear Book: Now it's three o'clock in the afternoon, and I have just awoke from a wonderful sleep, and so I will finish my story and after breakfast I found an excuse to go to the barn. Of course Lucy understood.

I found the slave-man so much better. Lucy had slipped some strong coffee out to him and some food, so I said, "Do you feel like you could tell me some more about my husband, and how to find him."

Over his face came such a look of resignation. I could have cried when he looked up and said, "I don mak up my mind to go back cause ye all can't go er lone through de swamps all er lone." Oh, Yes I said, "I can". But he was as firm as could be and insisted that he go back with me. So he told me how he had left his Master and Missis. The Master had gone for weeks on a journey, and he had left, and that John was an overseer on the farm of one of the neighbors (A man named Beecham) and had only been there a few weeks, but he described him so well, I am sure that it's John. He said that he had been a southern Soldier, but was shot at Gettsyburg and was so bad hurt that they had left him at a lady's house there, and when he was able to work she sent him to captain Beecham, as she was a relative of Beecham and knew that he was old and had a big plantation and was in need of an over-seer. Said that he was not strong yet, but was able to be in the deilds and Boss the slaves. Oh, just to think of that, but what I am worried about is, that he may get well enough and go back to the Army, before I get to where he is. Well, he still insisted that he would go back with me, I said, "what will your Master do to you?"

"Oh, Lordy, Missie don't talk erbout it. But maybe I can take yo der and git er way agin a-fore he ketch me."

Dear close Friend, what have I ever done to deserve such gratitude as this. After all he has suggered, and then to take me back, and then to try and go through it all again. I told him he just must not but for him to give me the directions, and to let me go alone. I was so interested in talking to him, that I did not hear Mrs. Howell when she came into the barn, and she had been there listening to all we had said. You can guess how shocked I was when I saw her, but right there I decided this is where the "Devilish Yankee" and Southern Lady would cross words if necessary, but dear book it was'nt. She heard all the story and then she said, he is only one out of hundreds are running away and suppose we should try and help his master find him, but he seems to be willing to take a great risk to help you, any way if this awful war could cease, I would be willing to see them go. Seems like Abe Lincoln intends to kill and starve us all to death any way, and then, she had Lucy to fix the bed out in her cabin, and when she saw us coming from the barn. Mrs. Howell never said a word to her about helping me, but came on into the room here with me and sat down and said, "well, we had better begin to lay plans. "what for?" I asked, well, you don't think you can put on your dress and start do you? (And she smiled) although I wouldn't be surprised to hear you say yes. But that Nigger's feet won't be well in a week to walk with all we can do for him, and you must have a horse, and then she began to cry. Oh how can I live on here without you. Then we both cried. I reninded her that her mother-in-law would be there and that Mrs. Adams and May would soon come back. Oh I had not thought of Mother. Lucky for us she made her visit, if she was here it would only make more trouble for she would want to report this slave, and by rights it should be done, but Lavina you have been too good to me for me to do such a thing, and I want you to find your husband, and may you be as happy as you have been sad. Now you. must go to bed and sleep for I know you didn't last night. Did you? I smiled and shook my head no. So I have had a nice sleep and have wrote it all here in your pages. So will go now, and see that Lucy and Mrs. Howell are doing. Oh I do hate to come back to her. It almost makes me cry when I look at her. I know she is going to miss me and I will her, but I will have John. Oh how I hope it will all soon be over and her sons can come home to her. I never will forget her. She has been so good and kind to me."

L. E. D.

As yellow gold is tried in the fire, even

so the real test of friendship in only,

to be found in a season of adversity.-- Ovid.

 

[freebird]

can't wait to read the next installment, this should be turned into a movie script!

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 15, page 1/8

BLESSED DREAMS

The sunsets glow has left the sky

The moon shines calm and fair,

Upon a dear wife kneeling low

To breath her daily prayer,

And thus, her brief pitition arose

In simple words and few

"Dear Lord, please send me blessed dreams,

And let them all come true.

Oh Lord, I do not ask for Gold,

Or useless life of ease.

I know of treasure rare

That's more desired than these,

A dream of HOME, and PEACE, and FRIENDS,

And CHILDREN, -- yes, a few.

Dear Lord, please send me Blessed Dreams,

And let them all come true.

Now I have stood in Churches grand

There in the rain-bowed gloom

'Rose, gifted prayers from priestly lips

Through clouds of dense perfume.

But none has ever seemed to me

So simple, pure and new,

Dear Lord, please send me Blessed Dreams

And let them all come true.

Ah little "Mother" kneeling there

Beneath the moonlit skies.

What need have we of other prayers

Than yours so sweet and wise.

Henceforth, I'll breath no lengthy plea

But bow and pray with you

Dear Lord, please send me Blessed Dreams

And let them all come true.

---Ann Farris

August 25, 1863

Dear Book: -- This last week has been such a busy one, that I have not thought of you, but last night, I had such a sweet dream of home, that I said when I awoke that I would write it down, althought, I know I will never forget it.

It seemed that I was somewhere back home, but not at Pap's house, yet, still we were all together again. Oh, we were having such a happy time. Mother and Pap looked just as they always did, but the girls had grown so much. Bettie, the baby, was almost as large as a girl of ten years of age should be, and there were some more little children that I did not know, and after I woke, I had a vision of little faces, that I could not fit into the crowd, and I wondered why they were in my dream.

Well, when I woke, I could not go back to sleep, so I went over to the window, where the breeze came in, and sat and gazed at the moon shining so bright and wondered if I would be disappointed in finding John this time.

Dear Close Friend, I don't think I could be brave any longer if I am disappointed, -- after thinking of how long it would take to reach him, and planning everything, concerning the trip. I began to feel sleepy again, so I knelt down in the moon-light and prayed that I might have a safe journey, and find him, then I asked God to let my "Blessed Dream" come true, and I believe he will, so I crept back to bed, and soon was fast asleep and did not awake until Mrs. Howell called me.

L. E. D.


Section 15, page 2/8

BLESSED DREAMS

August 28, 1863

I am very tired, but will spend a few minutes with you to-night. It seem that I cannot work fast enough to get all done that I would like to. I have been spinning early and late and helping Lucy and Mrs. Howell dye some thread for their winter stockings. Grandma Howell came home to-day. We decided to tell her that the slave man was mine to avoid a lot of explaining. It seemed to satisfy her mind, since we I had heard of my husband and was going to him.

The slave is almost as well as ever, only he is thin, and Lucy just don't seem able to give him enough food. Poor thing, I don't suppose that he had anything but fruit, and what he could steal in eggs or such things, in all that 350 mile journey. His name is Fulbright, and his owner, before he was sold to the South, lived in Springfield.

How I hate to take him back with me, but he insists that he will not let me try it alone. I have not told Mrs. Howell, but I intend to buy him a horse as soon as we get started. I could not ride and see him walk, (besides I want to get there as soon as possible) and when we get almost there, I am going to give him some money, and turn him back, and let him go to Springfield. I sent May a letter, telling her about hearing from John, and today got an answer. She and her mother are coming back at once to be with Mrs. Howell. I am glad for she seems so down-hearted, but still she is glad for me to know, and wants me to go to John.

I missed her yesterday, and when I found her, she was out in the orchard sitting in the shade crying, or she had been. I tried not to notice it. I have promised her sure that I will return to her, if in any case I do not find John. She is doubtful that he will be there, but the slave says that he was too sick to be a soldier. "Missie, he am so pore and white lak."

How can I wait! I want to get started. For I know he needs me, and yet when I think of home, and how that I will be almost 400 miles farther away from them, then my heart feels like lead, but little book I know that somewhere and sometime there will be a better day.

Come, then, Oh care, Oh grief, Oh woe,

Oh troubles, mighty in your kind,

I have a balm, ye ne'er can know,

Faith in God, -- A hopeful mind.

F. Vane.


Section 15, page 3/8

BLESSED DREAMS

September 1, 1863

Dear Book: -- I don' know if I will get to write many more times in you or not. I want to start in four more days. Oh, I can't hardly eat or sleep, just think, only four more days.

Mose (the slave) has been cutting wood, and has ploughed out the potatoes, and I have been so busy. Mrs. Howell says if I don't rest more I will be sick. She gave Mose a pair of Lige's boots, after he got the potatoes all put in the barn loft, and that makes me think she had a letter from her son Lige a few days ago. He sent it by a soldier, that was coming home. Poor man, he had lost an arm, and so was discouraged. It's almost impossible to get mail since the railroads are in the control of the Federals. I wrote John as soon as I heard, but Mrs. Howell thinks that I will get there before the letter does, if it ever does reach him, and I feel that way about it also, at least I am not waiting for an answer.

Well, I am off for bed, for each night I sleep makes the time one day nearer. I AM SO HAPPY! And I try to not appear that way any more than I can halp, for they all seem so bad.

Tonight, as Lucy and I was washing dishes, she said, "Miss Vina, I'm cryin' eber time I tink ob yo- all a-goin', and I am keepin dem gloves yo-all knit fur me to be buried in." I turned and went into the dining- room with some dishes for I could not help, but smile when I thought of the bright red mittens, as part of a funeral outfit, and when I came back, I said, "No Lucy, you wear them now, and think of me when you do so. For when you die, I am sure that the Good Lord will give you everything nice, and in heaven you will get everything that you want. Besides I will like to think of you and know that you are wearing them and thinking of me." Poor Creatures! It takes so little kindness to win their love and gratitude. How can their Masters be so cruel to them. Oh, I hope I may live to see them all free.

_______________________________________________

September 3, 1863

It's almost eleven o'clock, but just a line. May came back this morning and we have talked as fast as we could all day long. She had a nice visit, and coming back was no inconvience to them as one of the families they had intended to visit, had moved away. May says that she would not start out on a trip like I am planning, for all the men in the world. I laughed and said, "Neither would I". For what would I do with all them?"

But sometime, she will find one man, that will be more than all the world to her. Then she will be able to understand. So now, "Good, night". L. E. D.

_______________________________________________

September 3, 1863

Dear Close Friend: --- One more time I will open your pages, and leave record of my trip. Tonight all is packed and ready.

I have been down stairs all evening with the family, and Mrs. Howell sent me up to bed, so I could feel fit for traveling, but I can not sleep, so why not write a bit. Mrs. Howell came in this afternoon when I was packing my carpet bag, and handed me a small "pearl" handled revolver. She made me promise that I would not travel or sleep without it near me. It made me feel creepy and queer. Another promise she made me give her, was not to travel too late of evenings, always give yourself plenty of time, and don't let that Slave walk behind you, keep him in front. I know she is afraid for me, but I just can't feel that he will harm me. Why should he. I did not ask him to go with me, besides I have not harmed him, but anyway, I will let him stay in the lead, and keep on well traveled roads. She thinks it will take at least two weeks or more to make the trip, but she thinks that the Slave will walk, but if I can find a horse, we can make the trip in much less time. All that I fear is that it will rain and make the roads unfit for travel.

Well, I can see that I have learned one thing, in the last year, and that is, not to be confident. When I left home I was sure that I could do all that I had in mind to do, but this time I start, I am not so sure of myself, but am trusting more in God and praying that he will care for me in this journey, as he has past.

Well, I hear the family moving about, and I must close and not let Mrs. Howell find me still awake. So next time I will tell you something. I will be far from here I suppose.

L. E. D.

Section 15, page 4/8

BLESSED DREAMS

September 8, 1863

Dear Book:--- It's three days now since I left Mrs. Howell and Lucy crying, and May, Mrs. Adams and Grandma Howell all waving me a "Good-bye" "Mose" (the slave) walked the first day and half of the next, before we found a horse. Mose slept in the barn and did not know that I intended to buy him a horse, but the man said that he only had a team, and he told me that he thought I could find a horse without much trouble, and so I did, the next day at noon we stopped near the edge of a small village for dinner, and when I inquired, the woman said that she would sell me one. Mose was so surprised, but now we can go so much faster. I told him to-day that I planned for him to ride it back as soon as he thought we were near enough to Houston, for me to go alone.

The country is beautiful. I find that Mose is above the average slave in that his Master in the North had let him learn to read and write. He said that his Massa up North was so good to him, but, "Massa down South wuz de berry ole Debbil hisself, but Southern Missie she good as Massa let her be." Mose rides about 40 feet in advance, and watches for everything.

Yesterday he saw a snake lying on an over-hanging limb, he called for me to stop, and then killed the snake, and when we cross a stream, he always rides across first, then comes back and rides close to my horse, until we get across, then he rides on ahead again.

The people don't seem to think anything strange in my traveling with a slave. Of course they don't know, but that Dardenell is my original home, and that is enough for them to know, and no one asks many questions. Well, I must stop and go to bed, but I'm afraid that it's going to rain. If it does, it will make all the streams full, and will keep us from traveling for there is so few bridges, and these streams are very swift, and so it's dangerous to cross them when full. Oh, I am so anxious to travel, but if it rains, I will wait here a day or so.

There is an old man and his daughter and grand-daughter here, he has a cancer in his face, and he is well educated, but he can't read much with only one eye (the other is bandaged over) but his daughter reads to him, and he is very sociable. He thinks that the South will have to surrender finally, as the Federals have control of so much of the railroads and are holding all the food-stuff and also have laid waste to so much of the Southern resources and of course, all the man-power of the South is in the Army.

I think the country gets prettier as we go farther South. Today we began to get out of Boston Mountains, into the swamp lands, and such pretty flowers and Moss.

Mose keeps warning me about spiders and centipedes, and such things, when I pick flowers. To-day we came to some fruit growing on vines. They hung in clusters like cherries only they were the color of grapes. I ask him what they were. He said "Muscandines", and then he gathered me some to eat. They were good, and we enjoyed them, for we had not stopped for dinner yet, and was beginning to get hungry.

Well, it's begun to rain, so I suppose we will be delayed, much as I would like to push on. Each day I am so glad, and say to myself I am that much nearer John. Oh, why did it have to rain! But shame, I must not say that, but now Good-night, and I hope we can start sometime to-morrow anyway.

L. E. D.

 

[Foofoogal]

Muscandines

You would have to be pretty hungry to eat Muscandines like that. lol

 

[freebird]

Maybe she meant they looked like red grapes? Deep purple. Funny that they mentioed muscadines, Dad has always raved about picking wild muscadines when he was a kid in Arkansas. He finally found some in a seed catalog and now has a fairly large arbor out back.

 

[Foofoogal]

I have eaten many in my time as a child but my mama knew how to make jelly. You can make wine also I believe.

Use ripe muscadines. Cover with water. Boil a few minutes and strain through a jelly bag. Measure the juice and add 1 pound white sugar to each pint juice. Boil until it will congeal when dropped on a cold dry surface. This takes about 30 minutes or more. Pour into hot sterilized jars and seal.
I have tons growing around me. The birds like them. If gas keeps going up I may be eating them or selling jelly. My plums are in also.

 

[freebird]

he never does anything with his lol. Sometimes he'll take a notion to pick some (ripe) just to eat.

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 15, page 5/8

BLESSED DREAMS

September 12, 1863

Close Friend: --- All day yesterday, and today, we have been pushing along the roads to the South. We were delayed two days and one night at our last stop on account of rain, and was afraid to try to cross the streams. We started yesterday morning and the roads were so muddy and soft, we could not travel fast, but have done better today. To-night we are at a big Plantation. The people have several slaves. Mose seemed a bit afraid or something, and rather suggested that we ride on farther, but I was afraid that we might have trouble getting lodgings, so I said, "You tell them that you are my slave, and don't talk much. I think he is in fear all the time for fear someone will learn he is a run-away, I told him that I would tell the ones who ask, that I bought him in Dardenell. He is sleeping out at the slave quarters now. I believe I will let him turn back North after another day or two. We have traveled now, five days in all, and I believe we make about 40 miles a day. We get started late, and then true to my promise to Mrs. Howell, I always stop for lodgings early, so I won't be out when dark comes, and if we have made 40 miles in the next two days to come, it will put us in about 70 miles of Houston. I dont want Mose to go any closer to his Master than that. I want him to get back to his old Master if he can, for he has done so much for me, and has taken so much hardship and suffering to get away. That I am going to give him some money and tell him to go North as fast as he can. L. E. D.

________________________________________________

September 14, 1863

Dear Book : --- Tonight just before we decided to ask for a night's shelter, I told Mose to stop his horse, and I stopped mine also, then I told him my plan.

I offered him some money, and told him that he was to get up in the night and run away, and go back North, that I could go the rest of the way alone. And do you think he would? No.

He said, "I go a bit closer, if it costs my life. Yo all done so much fo' me."

So he would not take the money, and so to-morrow, I will still have him to cross streams and see that nothing harms me, and it makes me feel a lot safer too.

He's black, homely, of an inferior race, I'm told,

I'm sure beneath, that dusky skin

There beats a heart of gold.

L. E. D.



Section 15, page 6/8

BLESSED DREAMS

September 15, 1863

We are getting so close to the end of our journey, I can hardly stop of nights, but must tell you about today.

This morning about eleven o'clock, we came to a town called, Cedar Bayou, it's about 55 miles from Houston. I told Mose that if he was going to turn back, he must go tonight, and he had promised he would. Well, we were coming into the edge of town, and we intended to buy some food and ride on, and not stop to let the horses eat, as we had started late, and so we wanted to get as far as possible. We rode along a side street for a short distance and then Mose told me to wait until he wnet and got food, while he was gone, I noticed men began to gather rapidly in the street across the block, and could see that something was wrong, the crowd got thicker and just as Mose came back with the food, he met another Negro, who told him that a man had been killed up there from Houston, Texas, and described him to Mose.

Well, Mose came up to where I was holding the bridle reins, and ask if I would wait until he could go up there. I said, "Yes, but don't stay long." So he went and returned almost immediately with a grin and smile on his face, and said, "Miss Vina, I can go all de way now. Dat wuz old Massa."

I asked him after we started on if he had heard what the trouble was. He said, "No, All I wanted ter find out, if hit sho nuff wuz him, and I is sho nuff glad hit wuz.

I thought once that I would talk to him, and tell him that it was wrong to say such things. But then, when I remembered all that the White race had done to those "poor creatures", enslaved for almost two-hundred years. Sold and whipped and worked like animals. I am not sure but that I would have felt the same as Mose did, so I just said nothing.

Well, I must stop and go to bed, for I want to start early in the morning. I told the lady that we would not wait for breakfast, but she would not listen. She said, "I think I know how you feel about getting to you husband (for I had told her how long I had been trying to get to where he was) but I will have my house-cook get up early. You must eat before you start.

This evening before we stopped traveling, Mose said to me "Miss Vina, I don't mind er going back to Missie, she will be good to me, and now she needs me so bad."

So you see they are not revengeful, if they are treated good, and are like little children in forgetting all wrongs not even resenting the fact that they must labor while their owners do not. They seem to take it for granted that it's their duty. I wonder what they would do if they were set free. They don't seem to know how to plan or look after themselves anymore than children. But are satisfied if they can get sold to a good Master. Mose seems like a different creature, and was talking to the slaves here after supper out by the cabin doors, and laughing at some of the young Slaves dancing and scuffling about in play over the yard.

I ask him this afternoon if he thought his Master's body would be sent to his home. He said that he thought it would, and so I suppose we will hear all about it when we get to Houston, as he says the plantation joins the Beecham place where John is working.

I don't believe I will ever sleep tonight, but I must stop and lie down and rest. Mose says that we will be in 10 miles of Houston by to-morrow night if nothing happens. Oh, how can I ever stop and stay a night that close and not go on.

L. E. D.



Section 15, page 7/8

BLESSED DREAMS

September 16, 1863

Dear Book: --- We are making our last stop this side of Houston. Really, I can't hardly talk to the people with good sense tonight. We did not get as far as we thought we would as my horse got lame. I think he must have sprained his leg when he stumbled once. I was thinking of John and urging him along as fast as I could and did not have a good hold on my reins, and when he stumbled he almost fell to his knees, and I almost fell off over his head as well, but Mose says the roads are good, and we will get there to-morrow by noon, sure.

The folks here know Mr. Beecham, and they say that I am pretty sure of finding John, as there has been no recruiting of soldiers in this part of the country of late. I must go to bed.

Dear Book, I feel that my trip is nearly over, and when I get to John, I don't expect I will have much time for you, but of course I will keep you, and if the time ever comes when I start back home and the Loved Ones again, I will jot down some in you again. Just now, all I wish is that it was morning, and we could start.

L. E. D.

__________________________________________

September 17, 1863

Dear Book: My eyes closed sometime late last night, and opened wide at break of day, but I don't hear anyone moving about, so I am going to say once more that you and I must part for awhile. I hope the horse is better. We bathed his let in medicine last night, but close friend, I just must ride on this morning. I can't stay here this close, I feel that I could walk 15 miles. Well, now I hear someone moving about, so I am closing you hoping that when I write again, it will be to tell you all about John. L. E. D.


Lee

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 15, page 8/8

BLESSED DREAMS

September 19, 1863

Dear Book: --- It's hardly fair to you, not to tell you that the journey is over, and how it all happened.

I would be out in the feild with John, if I could have my way, but he says No.

Well, the morning of September the eithettnth, we started just a little after sunrise. My horse was lame, but was getting some better, so we had to ride slow, it seemed to me, but Mose said that we were doing pretty good. Well anyway, I soon bagan to ask him, "How far now?". First he said eight miles and later I asked again, he said, "Oh, I think maybe five miles now." Seemed like we rode twenty-five miles instead of fifteen. When all at once, we came to a small stream, and when we rode across, I looked at Mose, and I thought he had a changed look on his face. I asked, "How far now Mose?" He said, "Not fur now, Miss Vina, we can soon ride it now". With that I tried to be content. I thought maybe he would tell me when we got in the neighborhood.

We were riding along, and all at once, he stopped his horse, and as I rode up to him, he pointed across a field of cotton at about 30 slaves working, and a big smile lit up his face as he said, "Miss Vina Den is Massa Beechams' Niggers". Well, my heart just seemed to stop beating.

I said, "Mose will you take care of my horse. I am going to him" for I caught sight of a white man, just then. Mose got off his horse and helped me down. I got over the fence and began to run across the field as fast as a girl could run, who had been on horse-back for almost three weeks, or at least most of the time.

At first John did not see me, but the slaves did, and pointed me out. John said that he thought I was frightened at something, so he started to come to me. As soon as I could tell it was John, I began to cry and call, but he did not recognize me yet, for of course, he thought me safe at Home in Missouri, so, as he came closer I began to call him by name, and when he discovered that it was me, he just stopped. When I reached him he was white as chalk and trembling like a leaf, as he took me in his arms. I don't know what we did say, but I was laughing and crying and talking all at once, and when we did get to ourselves enough to look about us, all that bunch of slaves were standing a little way from us, and some of them were smiling, and some of them looked as if they thought John had caught a crazy woman. Then John told them that they could go to dinner, and said to them, "This is Missie Del."

In the meantime Mose had gone on to the house with the horses, and so the Beecham's were not surprised to see us all coming in from the field an hour early, for dinner.

When we reached the house, we both had pulled ourselves together a bit, and had enough control to stop crying and laughing, long enough for John to introduce me. We had dinner, and Captain Beecham declared a Holiday, for he said, "The Niggers won't work without a Boss, and I doubt if the Boss could keep his mind on his work the rest of the day, and then laughed, but the cotton sure needs to be picked. John said, "My wife will go out to the field with us, but they would not have it so, but John sent the slaves to work this morning, and they sure are making cotton fly. Mrs. Beecham says they have picked more cotton this morning, than they ever have before in one morning. I suppose that the half day rest did them good.

Captain Beecham ordered Mose to go straight home to his Missie, and said it cross, I turned and looked at him straight in the eye, and said, "I am looking after Mose's return." He looked a bit crestfallen and apologized, and said to Mose, of course, "I meant as soon as Mrs. Delzell is ready for you to go, Mose."

John and myself went over in the afternoon, and I explained to his Mistress all about it. She did not seem like a cross woman, and was very polite to me. She was very sad as they had just buried her husband the day before. She promised not to punish Mose, and said that she was glad to get him back and Mose said that he would stay.

Oh, these fields of cotton look like Heaven to me, for out there is John, even if he is thin and pale, and has a stiff arm at the elbow. It's John, and he says that he don't intend to go back in the Army any more, unless it's the Union Army, if he is needed. Poor John he has seen enough to make him feel like I do, That Slavery is the Curse of the Earth.

I wanted to go to the field this morning, but he said that I must rest. We talked all night and never slept a wink. I know that he is sleepy and tired, unless he is like myself, to excited to be sleepy or to know that he is tired either.

Well, little book, we are to have one of the "Log House of the Slave quarters, that's where John was staying when I came, and although they offered to give us a room at the house, we refused, and asked to have a house of our own. So it will seem like our "Little Log House back home----only of course, things are different, but I am too happy to think of all those things now, and it's almost noon, so I must stop, for John will soon be here.

L. E. D.



LOG CABIN OF THE SOUTH

October 10, 1863

Dear Book: --- To-day I said to John, "Do you know what three more days will bring?"

He answered, "Yes, --- seventy two hours if the arithmetic don't lie.

Now is'nt that just like a man, but when I reminded him of our wedding anniversary, he just kissed me, and said, that he was so glad to get his wife, he had forgotten tha Aniversary, and of course that made it all right.

We are so happy, even if we only have our cabin, -- Mrs. Beecham has given us a nice bed and three chairs and a rocking chari. Also a pretty little table, and best of all, a nice kerosene lamp. It gives such a nice light, and I am getting some rags sewed for a carpet. I hope to get it all woven and ready to put on the floor for Christmas.

Got a letter from home to-day. All are well, and was so glad I had found John, said that they would try to send us Christmas presents, but the mail is so uncertain.

Now, I must close and get John's supper ready. The only thing that worries me now, is, that I am afraid for him, still all the slaves are all very respectful and seems to like him, and he is good and kind to them, but they are so big and so strong, and so many of them. While he is sick, and crippled in his arm, he carries a revolver, but he would never use it. I know he would only try and scare them if necessary.

____________________________________________

January 1, 1864

Dear Close Friend: --- Today, we started another year, and still this awful war is raging. Will it never come to an end? Did not get any presents from home, but will be glad if we can only get a letter. We have had a quiet holiday. Only the Negroes have enjoyed themselves. The rest of us had too many thoughts.

Oh, yes, I must tell you about the Christmas Yule-Log. It is a custom here in the South, to let the Negroes as long as the (Back log burns). They call it that, here in the South. So, as long as it lasts, they are free from work, except the "chores".

Well, a few days before Christmas, Rufus, one of the older Negroes came to John and said, "What kind of wood will burn the longest, Massie Del?" So John took him into the woods and cut a huge elm, and together they rolled it into a small creek and left it a day and night, and then took it our. John and I had a big laugh when he told me about it, and I asked him how did he expect to get the Spring work done?

Well, here's New Year's, and it's almost gone, and this morning the darkeys went to work when John told them to. John looked at Rufus and said, "I think it burned pretty good, don't you?"

And Rufus grinned, and showed all his white teeth. Any-way there is no hard work this time of year. They have had a jolly week. They went and came as they pleased, only had to be home nights after ten o'clock. Such singing and dancing, all the women visited one another. I even did the cooking for the Beechams and let the house slave free.----------- She was so pleased, and I know that she needed the rest and change. Mrs. Beecham said that I was foolish, but I didn't mind to do the work, and Captain Beecham said he did not know whether the cooking of Eva, (the house slave) would do any more or not, that he might put her in the fields and make me keep the job, and then he laughed.

Now that the New Year is started, I am glad to be back in my cabin and cook only for myself and John.

L. E. D.


Section 16, page 2/5

LOG CABIN OF THE SOUTH

January 25, 1864

To-day is my birthday, and John gave me a new mirror. Mrs. Beecham gave me a nice quilt. It's all pieces of calico, and is put together with pink. It looks so pretty on the bed. As all the quilts she gave me to use were of Linsy. I think I will do some Spring cleaning next month, and put my new carpet down, and the slaves all worked together and made me a Rustic rocker, and Yard Seat of Hickory branches. I suppose that they did it of nights, and Eve, the house cook, has made me a nice cushion for the chair. It's made of yarn and knitted and filled with cotton. Oh, yes- I must tell you about my feather bed. During the winter months, the wild geese came down from the North, and the men scattered poison corn on the wheat fields. The geese eat the wheat so much, so I would go each morning, and pick the reathers before the slaves piled them up and burned them, and now I have a nice feather-bed.

Well it's time for work, but I think that I have had a real nice birthday, and hope that maybe I can spent my next one at Home, with all the Dear Ones.

Just to think-- I am twenty-four years old to-day, but I am happy with John and when this awful was is over, we will all be so happy again. We won't think of getting poor or growning old either.

Good-bye, little book, for I must go to work.

L. E. D.

_______________________________________________

April 11, 1864

Dear Book:--- To-day, as I was hunting for some bills that John wanted, I found you, so laid you out upon the table. It's been a long time since I told you anything.

Everyone is so busy. I have been planting and tending the garden, and have some little chicks, and have my cabin all cleaned and carpet on the floor, and at times, I am so content to be with John, that I almost forget that there is still fighting, but we can't forget long at a time.

The people here in the South are putting out crops with what help they have. Part of the younger slaves have run away, and joined the Federal Army, but John still has 14 women and 8 men to over-see, but he gets along so well with them, that I am not afraid for him anymore. Captain Beecham says that he don't understand how John gets so much work done as he does, with all those slaves, but I do, for I know John.

Once, this Spring, Captain told John to whip one of the young slaves boys, so John took him into the "gin-House" and told the boy to scream, while he whipped a bale of cotton that lay on the floor. I could hardly stand to think he was whipping the boy, and we both had a laugh, when John explained to me just what he really did. And now, the boy would try to do almost anything that John would ask him to do. He tells them to work hard, while it's cool of a morning, and then he don't work them so hard while it's so hot. John says that they really do their best for him, but he still carries his revolver strapped on him, "perhaps it's best", for Captain says they might revolt at anytime. The Federal Soldiers keep telling them that they are soon to be free men, and won't have to obey their Masters.

I got a letter from Home last week. All well, and Mother says, that the work is almost the same as it was before the war started. Men are getting out crops, and they are very hopeful that the war will soon be over, and that we can come home.

The South is beautiful, but I think that I would rather go back, I asked John if he wanted to go, He said that he was afraid that we would have to stay here for a few years yet, even if the War was over, because Rebel Soldiers would not get much Welcome up North, but I think it will be alright, after the fighting is over.

_______________________________________________

Well, I will add a few lines, as I did not get this finished, I had to stop writting for a bit.

I could hear the babies crying over at the quarters. There were three of them. Their mothers are field women, and so they have to leave them at the cabins, and come in every two hours and let them nurse. Sometimes they wake up before time and cry, so pitiful. I always go to them and give them a drink or make them more comfortable.

Mrs. Beecham laughs at me and says that I have things turned around, that white children have "Negro Mammies", but that I am the first "White Mammy" for Nigger kids, that she ever found. I don't care if she does laugh. I always feel better to do that much for the poor little helpless things. She can't hear their cries like I can. I am so near the quarters.

I must stop, as John will soon be coming in for supper.

Good bye for Now. L. E. D.



Lee

 

[freebird]

Is there more? (I sure hope so). I must admit, I'm addicted to their story, always checking for updates. :eusa_clap

 

[Puyallup Lee]

Section 16, page 3/5

LOG CABIN OF THE SOUTH

November 19, 1864

Dear Book: --- All summer you have lain upon the shelf behind my mirror, and I have worked so hard. And now, today, I find you, and still, I have nothing in the way of hope to say to you.

All summer John and the slaves have worked, and now, the Confederate Government will be compelled to confiscate most of what we have raised. Of course, they pay for it in Confederate money, but if they are defeated in the War, and the Federals control the cournty, the money will not be of much value.

Of course the Southern Soldiers need food and clothes, and all the people are willing to give to them, but General Sherman has done such awful destruction through Georgia, and Admiral Farragot has blockaded the entrance to Mobile Bay, and so all supplies are cut off from that source.

There is going to be much suffering among the South this winter, and some people are losing hope of gaining the War.

Oh, how I wish it was over. I am sick in body, also in soul and mind. If it was not for John, I think I would be willing to lay down and die, but he is so good and kind to me, -- so is every-one, for that matter. Eve cooks everything she thinks that I can eat and brings it to me. Mrs. Beecham is just like a sister to me, too. I never thought I could be so sad and down-hearted really, I am going to try my best to be more cheerful if for no other reason than, that they will all feel better.

But I don't mind to tell you, I am just plain "homesick"

L. E. D.

____________________________________________

December 25, 1864

Dear Book: --- Holidays are here again, and this time I am not cooking, but Eve, the cook, has some of the other Negro slaves helping her, and so the work is not so hard, and she is having some grand time, and lots of time to visit, and have fun. Captain Beecham gave them a barrel of flour, and a big hog to kill, and a small keg of molasses, and such feasting and dancing as they are doing.

John and I are spending most of our time alone in our cabin, for I have not been well this winter. He is begining to look like he did when we were first married, so strong and so red-cheeked, but will always have a stiff arm at the elbow. I feel so sorry about it, but he tells me that it does'nt bother him very much, and tells me to be thankful that he has even a stiff arm. For he says he had to almost fight to keep the Doctors from amputating it at one time.

Well, last week, we got our Christmas Presents from Home. Dear Mother and Pap started them early, so we would sure get them. Mine was a piece of calico for a dress, and John a nice pair of wool sox and a pocket knife. This Christmas the slaves made me a nice clothes hamper of "White oak splits". It's a nice present, and so useful too. John and I bought some Maple sugar, and I baked some cookies for all of them, each cabin had a nice plate full, and I gave a can of fruit to each cabin for their dinner on Christmas day.

Well, you could expect them to be happy, for they hope to be free, and I hope they will be also. "But Oh, the suffering this has all cost!" Why can't these people surrender and then go. I think the older slaves would stay still with their Masters, who would be good to them, and so they would have them to do the work anyway.

The Negro must live, they could hire them almost as cheap as they can feed and cloth them as slaves. The difference would be, they could not buy and sell them as chattels as they do now, and it will take years to replace the wreck and destruction already done, and someone must win, and if it's to be the North or the South, I Pray that it's soon-----surely we cannot endure this much longer.

Goodbye, little book, I see John coming, and he don't like for me to write about things that he says. It is not good for me, and makes me nervous, and I feel worse then, so I must try and think of other things, so sometime when I have something real nice and pleasant I will tell you. L. E. D.



Section 16, page 4/5

LOG CABIN OF THE SOUTH

January 25, 1865

Dear Book:---- This is my Birthday again, so just one line to tell you, and just to think I am twenty-five years old to-day.

Now, that I am certain, -- God is going to send me another little Babe. Maybe he will let this one stay.

John and I are so glad, and I am going to be cheerful, and not worry any more than I can help, and won't it be nice to take back home with us. John says we will go as soon as possible, if the War ever ends. L. E. D.

___________________________________________

April 1, 1865

Dear Book:--- Everyone seems to think that the War is over. Lee has abandoned the Confederate Capital at Richmond. He could not get supplies, and hsi men were suffering for food and clothes. He is marching to the Southwest trying to join Forces in North Carolina. They say that Grants Army is in hot pursuit.

I believe that the Southern people had better give up and go to work, for I don't see anything but suffering ahead. Now, if they would surrender and go to work this summer, by the time that Winter comes again, they could live, and unless they do, starvation will end what the guns have so far failed to accomplish.

L. E. D.

____________________________________________

April 12, 1865

Dearest Book: ---"Oh, Days of all Days" You cannot know how glad I am this morning, for we hear that "Lee" has at last surrendered to Grant at Appomattox Court House, on April 9, and that Grant was so generous with him in the conditions of surrender.

None of the Southern men are to be punished in anyway, and all he asked was that they go to their Homes, lay down their Arms, and be once more a "United Nation", and of course, the Slaves are to be Free and I really believe that the people are glad. I don't know where the Slaves will go, or what they will do, but I suppose that in time a way will be found to take care of all that.

What means most to me is that this terrible War is over at last. And now, that it is over, I don't see how the people have endured so much and still have hope left in their hearts and courage to keep trying. But they will I know, and I hope to see it all forgotten and North and South both blended together in "A Great Brotherhood" wherein "Peace and Love" will rule.

_____________________________________________

August 14, 1865

My Book:--- As I am not strong enough to work yet, I will write in you,---On July, twenty-third, a little girl baby came to us, and will you believe me when I say that my first thought, when I got able to see her without so much suffering, and when she opened her little dark eyes, my first thought was of "Dear Mrs. Howell" and her keen, dark, flashing eyes, and because of all her care and love for me, I said, "this is Sally, or rather Sarah" out as she was always called Sally. I shall call our "Baby" that also, and then for a middle name I am going to add, "Fredonia" the name of a small town that I came through on my way South. I always thought it was such a pretty name. We had hoped for another little boy, but now, that she is here, we are just as happy with her.

John is so proud. He wrote to our Mothers at once, and this morning I wrote Mrs. Howell and told her, and promised that we would come past her home and visit her when we go back to Missouri, but John says, "Not yet awhile" whenever I ask him about going.

Poor John, he dreads to go home and face the people. I am so sorry for him. I believe they will be nicer about it than he thinks they will be, but perhaps he knows best, and we had better wait awhile. Baby is waking so I must stop.

L. E. D.



Section 16, page 5/5

LOG CABIN OF THE SOUTH

July 23, 1866

Dear Book ---- I hunted you up today for no other reason, only to write of Baby's Birthday. She is so dear, and has meant so much to us the past year. Even if she has kept me so busy, and made me neglect you. She has been sick very little, and has eight teeth, and has been holding to chairs and other furniture, and walking for several weeks, but yesterday, I held out my hands and said, "Come baby let's go" and she walked several steps to me.

Mrs. Howell sent her the prettiest little dress and shoes. She says that she can't hardly wait until we come to visit her. Both of the Howell boys came home from War, but Sam has a leg gone. Poor fellow, he was so proud, I know that he suffered a lot. His mother says that he can do almost as much work as "Lige". (the slave) and can do most any kind of work his brother can, and that they have the finest crops and the boys are so proud of their work. "Lucy" still stays with them. They have never heard of "Luke" (the run-away slave). And Lucy said to tell me to take good care "Ob dat lil white lamb". I just had to laugh, for I have kept her out in the yard so much, and the hot winds have tanned her so, until she is almost as dark as some of the little Mulatto's slave babies, but she is sweet anyway. At least she is to John and me.

Well, It's time to start supper, so goodbye for this time.

L. E. D.

___________________________________________

September 2, 1866

Dear Book: --- Once more I find time to put a line in your pages. To-day John said that he had almost decided to go back home. You see he has not been very well all summer, but he still kept working, and all last month he had chills and fever. He is so poor and weak. Mr. Beecham tells him not to work, but he still goes out to the fields and looks after the work.

Three of the men slaves stayed, and five of the women, but even with these few, the Plantation is in nice order, and we have had a wonderful crop.

Oh, I do hope I can talk to John and keep him in the notion of going home. I wrote a letter home this morning, and asked the folks if they thought we could find a place, and if the Northern people would be friendly with us. Baby is calling with all her might, so I must close. L. E. D.

___________________________________________

September 18, 1866

My Dear Book:--- I am so happy, that I can write only a few lines. We are packing our wagon to start for Missouri and Home. Yes, we got a letter from both our families, telling us to come on at once, so we have bought a wagon and team, and I am packing as fast as I can, but I am going to put you away, so I just had to write some kind of a farewell to you, and when I get home, will hand you over to Emma, jane, mandy, or whoever wants to see you, but as for me, I will want to hear what they have all been doing, and so little book, you can tell them all that I have told you.

I know that I can talk a year, and never get tired. I can hardly stop packing long enough to write this. We hope to start in a few days. We will go past and visit Mrs. Howell, and I do hope I can find Mr. and Mrs. Carrol on the way back, and see Lucy and Lenore, and hear what became of Joe, and if he ever did enlist, and get his "free terbaccy", but will not stay long at either place, for since I know that we are going. I am more anxious than ever before.

So Close Friend this is our last visit, and when you reach Home, you will belong to the 'girls". They will enjoy you I know, and you have been a comfort to me, so I am glad to have kept you with me, and now, I will pack you away with some of my keepsakes, and we will all start for Home, so fare-well, dear, dear little "Book".

Lavina

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Reader:

I hope that you have enjoyed reading Lavina's little book with me, and now, it's left for me to tell you that the journey was made in safety, after a short visit with Mrs. Howell.

John and Lavina drove twenty-five miles out of their course to see Mrs. Savage, (the woman who befriended John, and helped him to escape with his message to General Sydney Johnston.) She was so pleased to see us, and to know that John was still alive, and that he succeeded in his trip. She said that she had often thought of him, and wondered if he did escape.

But "Home and Loved Ones" were calling, so they hurried on, and al last was joyously "Welcomed" by Loved Ones, and even those that they had thought might be perhaps a bit critical, or antagonistic were at least kind, although a bit cold and formal, but after a while, even this was over-come, and John and Lavina established once more---a "Home of Dreams". This time near Ash Grove, Missouri, and there for many happy days. Lavina saw her "Blessed Dreams" come true. Also five more babies came to love and be loved.

Then one September night, John Delzell once more went away, but not to War--- for this time it was to "Eternal Peace", and Lavina was left to stand guard over the "Dream Home" with only the help of her parents and good friends, and the "Love" of her babies. But with her indomitable courage she accepted the task and went forward, and as the Holidays drew near, the usual little presents were bought, and made, and on Xmas Eve the stockings were hung and filled. Next day the Xmas Dinner was cooked, and shared with a "Dear aunt and little cousins.

Then on December 26, once more Lavina went into the land of anguish and recieved her Xmas present or gift from God, (a little son) and as she drew his wee small head to her heart, and realized that she must be both "father and Mother to him, -- She asked God to give her strength and wisdom for all her needs, and once again pressed her lips to it's tiny head, and Christianed her baby with tears, and this time it was, "John".

Began January 25, 1931

Finished July 11, 1932

_____________________________________________________________________

Kelly Family

Alfred Kelly was born May 2nd 1813 -- died May 12, 1889 Springfield

Milly Kelly (his wife) was born February 2nd 1818 -- died May 2, 1891

Delian Kelly born August 23rd 1836

John M. Kelly born July 22nd 1838

Lavina E. Kelly born January 25th 1840

Robert W. Kelly born December 30 1841

Martha J. Kelly born December 20th 1844

Manerva A. Kelly born December 28th 1846

Nancy J. Kelly born October 16th 1848

Mary M. Kelly born June 11th 1850

Amanda L. Kelly born June 11th 1852

Emely C. Kelly born March 18th 1854

Rachel E. Kelly born December 19th 1856

(NOTE: As mama remembered)

Delian married a Phillips.

John married, raised a family and was buried at Kelly Cemetery.

Lavina Delzell -

Martha Jane - (Mama's Mother)

Robert Wesley died when he was 14 years of age.

Manerva married Lee Swift. (Grandpa's brother)

Nancy - died when a baby.

Mary died young about 12 or 15 years of age.

Emely married Grandpa Swift. Aunt Em.

Amanda Tucker -

Rachel E. - (Aunt Bett Collins)

END OF THE JOURNAL


Well, there you have it. I think it is a great historical record of the Civil War and shows a side of history that the history books don't show, the human side.

Lee

 

[freebird]

Thank you for posting this! I know it took a lot of time to do, and I for one appreciate it. Now to see if any names given match up with names in my gnealogy database lol.
Tony

 

[RIOT]

Thank you for posting this excellent read!

Somewhat reminds me of the movie, The Last Confederate: The Story of Robert Adams (2005)