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A sad day for me

gobler

One of the Regulars
Messages
205
Location
W. Covina, Ca.
With the events in other parts of the world and the loss of so much this might sound trivial but I am very saddened tonight. I lost a good friend and companion for 21 years, his name was Skyler and he was my cat. My mom was in training at our local Veterinary hospital back in 1984 and a woman brought in a litter of kittens one had been stepped on and had a broken firmer. The woman had decided to have that kitten put to sleep since the cost would have been over $1000. My mom took the kitten in back and while getting ready to put the kitten down he looked up at her and meowed. She decided that the kitten would live; wrapping him up in her coat she snuck him to here car and drove home. She them went to another hospital where she worked weekends and had the surgery done. Two years later my mom passed and I became the sole caretaker of that cat who I was rather fond of. He moved with me wherever I went and was always there for me no matter how tired or upset I was, he would jump in my lap and purr and give a commanding meow. Up until six months ago he still was very active; more so then our two year old Stymies, chasing her around the house and playing with strings and feather toys. It was then he started to slow down it was gradual but he leveled off to a basic routine of getting me up at 5:30 am for food and demanding he sleep on my g/fs pillow :lol I found this amusing. Then he started to miss the litter box from time to time; luckily we have tile and wood floors. I noticed his sight was going and his hearing was not as sharp but he still could smell food no matter what. July and August have been super hot and having no A/C it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s been miserable not to mention dehydrating. The Vet suggested sub dermal fluids to help, so for every night since mid July I have been giving him the fluids. He also stopped eating his normal food so I tried several things; turned out he loved Gerber?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s Chicken baby food so I started to mix it with his food. Then just pure um mixed. Today he was looking far worse then I had seen him and felt that his end might be near. He was in no pain but could not stand on his own and other bodily things alerted me that my choice was make him as comfortable as I could and prayed he went peacefully or tomorrow take him to the Vet and make the hard choice. Tonight I gave him his last fluid and baby food; I sat with him for a few hours and my brother kept watch while I talked with my g/f. He looked at me a meowed a few times then he collapsed. Not more then 30 minutes later he had his last breath. I cared for this little animal and if you had known him you would understand my sorrow.

May long time friends never be forgotten?¢‚Ǩ¬¶
Skyler
1984-2005


Jeff
 

PADDY

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
7,425
Location
METROPOLIS OF EUROPA
Jeff, no need for apologies...

Jeff, grief is such a relative emotion, and it sounds like Skyler played a big part in you and your mum's life. Maybe he means so much to you because even though your mum has passed away, he was still a 'living' link to her, and his passing is one less link to your mum being on this earth (I felt the same when my dad's dog lived well beyond his passing and I felt that there was still 'dad' around while the dog was there). 20-years is quite a time-span for our short human lives, so I'd guess it must be hard for you to imagine a time when Skyler wasn't knocking around! Maybe you were still at school or college when he first came on the scene, so that creates a huge bond too, as if you grew up together! Just happens that Skyler grew older, a little bit faster than you did. I have no doubts that if there is an existence for us after death, in whatever form, then there will be a place to be reunited with our loved pets too. If not, then I don't think it's worth going to.
And 'yes' Jeff, there will forever be suffering in this world (despite the personal suffering within our own lives), but that does not diminish the measure of the loss you are feeling right now, nor it should. It just happens that the media is currently focused on those southern states of the US right now because it is tragedy on a scale not normal for the US (sadly it's more normal for other parts of the world, but doesn't get the same media coverage, because it's not 'newsy' enough), but there will always be the suffering in Africa, there's the suffering in the middle east, and I'm shamed to say, there is suffering and starvation and human degradation going on in parts of the world I am not even aware of (to my great shame).
But, your feelings for the loss of your cat, that little living creature that you bonded with in your life, is a sign of great humanity Jeff, and that's a 'quality and gift' to have! And it's that humanity that helps make the world a better place and helps us help those who most need it too. There are people out 'there' who need the help that 'that' type of humanity can offer them.
You take care of yourself Jeff, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, as it has been a loss of a family member for you. Let no-one belittle that fact.
 

Dismuke

One of the Regulars
Messages
146
Location
Fort Worth, Texas
Jeff -

Please accept my profound sympathy. Your sadness is anything but trivial. You have lost an important and irreplaceable value in your life - a living creature that you loved and loved you back. He was more than just an animal - he was a friend and companion you basically grew up with.

In the past several years, I have had to make the profoundly difficult and painful decision to have 3 of my beloved cats put to sleep. I had Boris ever since I was a kid and I had to put him to sleep shortly before the approximate date of his 18th birthday. Then there was Bix who was very special to me. Bix was one of a litter of kittens that my parent's cat had. As soon as he was able to walk, Bix simply decided that I was about the neatest thing in the whole world and he would follow me everywhere - and that was the attitude he maintained towards me for the rest of his life. From the time that he was small enough to sit in my open palm until shortly before he died, he loved nothing more than to perch on my shoulder - which I always thought was neat. Bix's affection was a wonderful constant in my life and a source of cheerfulness and consolation during some rather unpleasant periods. He eventually got FIV - an incurable and quite common cat disease that is, essentially, the feline equivelent of HIV/AIDS (though it is not the same disease and is not transmittable to humans). FIV is one of several reasons it is never a good idea to allow cats that you care about to go outside as a significant percentage of stray cats are infected. It was very difficult for me to watch him waste away and lapse into what the vet told me was dementia - and making the decision to put him to sleep was profoundly painful. Later that same year I ended up having to make the same decision again with Boris.

I got Clicquot a few months after Bix died - and he was the ideal cat to fill the void left after Bix. He had many Bix-like qualities plus a very neat personality of his own that was infectiously endearing. It did not take me very long at all to realize he was a special cat and he, too, helped make some unpleasant periods much more bearable. Sadly, he died when he was still young. I took him to the vet after he began to suddenly lose weight. At first the vet saw nothing wrong - but when his skin began to turn orange, the vet ran some tests and told me his liver was failing. The vet's guess was that before I adopted him from an animal rescue organization, Clicquot might have lived for a while as a stray and perhaps drank some anti-freeze which is highly tasty but toxic for cats. The vet guessed that he did not drink a lethal dose but had just enough to allow long term damage to set in. It is also possible that he ingested some other toxic substance. Clicquot was a very hyperactive (in a delightful and good way) cat when I acquired him and he began to mellow a bit over time. The vet suggested that this was probably due to the liver damage setting in as he was too young to be slowing down to such a degree. The vet told me that he had about 6 weeks to live - and he was more or less correct on the timeframe. Once again, the decision to have him put to sleep was profoundly difficult for me - and it was even more so once I realized that I had put it off too long and things got to the point that he began to suffer.

I have always considered cats to be very special animals. Dogs tend to love their owners unconditionally. That is not always the case with a cat. If you provide a cat with food, it will hang around and put up with you - but it won't necessarily love you. In that respect, cats are like people in that no matter how hard you try, you cannot MAKE them like you - you can only hope that certain ones will. Therefore, when a cat in your life does like you, it has a significance and meaning that is different than the sort of affectionate behavior that other kinds of animals display. Cats can sometimes even take on certain personality traits of their owners. This was definitely the case for me with both Bix and Clicquot and several people made the observation that their demeanor and "personality" were similar to mine. So when such pets die, there is a definite void from the loss of an irreplaceable and unrepeatable value.

Obviously the death of a pet is nothing compared with the loss of a person that one loves. On the other hand, our relationships with the people in our lives are often much more fickle than with our pets. There are a number of people who are no longer a part of my life due to them either moving away, drifting apart in terms of interests and evolution of personalities or through falling outs. Observe the staggering percentage of people who consider themselves in love enough to get married only to end up in divorce court just a few years later. For obvious reasons, the relationships we have with our pets are far less complicated than our relationships with other people - and for that reason, outside of one's immediate family, the bond we have with our pets tends to be much more stable and enduring than it frequently is with the people we care about.

My suggestion is, after a certain period of time has passed, consider getting another cat. I wouldn't do it too soon if you feel there is a possibility that your grief for your old cat will diminish the love you are able to give your new one. At some point, however, while you will forever miss your old cat, you will reach a point where the sadness is not quite so poignant and you will be able to enjoy another cat. What I have done when I reached such a point after my cats have died is made occasional visits to the room that Petsmart donates to animal rescue shelters. Eventually you and one of the cats there will suddenly "click." Or perhaps a stray or another cat in a helpless situation such as was the case initially with Skyler will wonder into your life. I will always miss Boris, Bix and Clicquot and treasure my memories of them. But right now I have 3 cats, Moxie, Grethe Grooble and Bosque who are all special in their own way and they certainly know how to keep me busy.
 

android

One of the Regulars
Messages
255
It must be that cats with broken legs make the best pets. My most favorite cat was Mr. Boffo and he had his legged pinned 2 times. He was the friendliest nicest cat I have ever met. When he died, he just came up in the morning and was meowing and purring on the bed with us and then he just fell over and died. I guess he knew what was happening and wanted to be with us.

We lived near the UT campus and the closest hardware store was one of those trendy, full service Breed & Co. stores. We went over to buy a shovel and the ever so helpful employee is quizzing us about what kind of shovel we want. Is it for gardening or hedging or whatever. When we told him it was to bury our dead pet, he kind of shut up and gave us one.

My condolences to you. I will raise a glass to dearly departed felines in your honor.
 

Johnnysan

One Too Many
Messages
1,171
Location
Central Illinois
Jeff,

Please accept my most sincere condolences on your loss. Some years ago, we lost one of our whippets, Hanna, to kidney disease. Much of what you described brought back some unhappy memories. Anyone who has lost a cherished pet understands the pain that you feel. Be well.

- John
 

SHARPETOYS

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
Titusville, Florida
I'm so sorry!

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html/
 

Brad Bowers

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,187
Jeff,

I am so sorry for your loss. You've lost a beloved family member, and that always cuts deep. I've had my cat all of his 18 years, and I dread the day I know is coming when he's gone. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and sympathy on this sad day.

Brad
 

K.D. Lightner

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,354
Location
Des Moines, IA
Jeff -- My condolences to you on the loss of your beloved pet. I lost my little chihuahua over a year ago and know how you feel. My pet was my "baby" and as dear to me as most humans.

karol
 

Biltmore Bob

Suspended
Messages
1,721
Location
Spring, Texas... Y'all...
Sorry for your loss, Jeff

I'm in the pet business. I'm a pet dog trainer. I remember the words of George Carlin, and I'll paraphrase "Pets are all little tragedys".

I have had to harden my heart over the years.
 

Matt Deckard

Man of Action
Messages
10,045
Location
A devout capitalist in Los Angeles CA.
Sorry to hear it Gobler. From the post it looks like Skyler was a true pet that had two good owners.

I know the feeling, I felt the same way when my cat tarzan was in an accident. Tarzan was the wildest in a litter of 5 that were found by my oldest brother in our garage back in 1982. We were able to give the other kitens to pet shops and homes though Tarzan was too rowdy for anyone to accept so we kept him.

Chin up.
 

gobler

One of the Regulars
Messages
205
Location
W. Covina, Ca.
Thenk you all for your kind words. By the way, a few years ago my g/f and I adopted two female kittens so no other cats are in the future ;) although my g/f would like to start a rescue shelter but I need some time.

Cheers,
Jeff
 

KR

Familiar Face
Messages
51
Location
West Covina, CA
My Condolences

It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s always hard to lose a pet. I remember when I lost my dog of fourteen years. I had grown up with her and it was difficult adjusting to not having her around. I lost my second dog early to cancer a few years ago.

I never think it is trivial to mourn the loss of a beloved pet.
 

Marney

New in Town
Messages
1
hats off to you

good morning- just a note to respond to your wonderful tribute...i so identified w/ you..i too, took in two of my mother's cats after she died..and i too gave each of them "fluids" which prolonged their wonderful lives..when the last one died i felt so much emotion..i not only lost great cats but they were an extension of my mother..while they were alive i had a living,breathing connection to her..as you mourn the passing of a great friend ,take solace in knowing how much love and caring he received for 21 years..your a good man
 

The Wingnut

One Too Many
Messages
1,711
Location
.
Losing a pet - especially one that has grown up with you - is never easy. They become members of your family, they have their own personalities. I had three boxers, one after another, while growing up. The last one was mine, the other two had bonded with my mom and dad. They don't live long. Sarge died of a heart condition at 9 years old, and he was still happy and energetic when he went. I still have his collar hanging on my bedpost. Thinking of the little guy brings tears to my eyes.

My condolences, gobler. Been there, more than I've cared to count. It's never easy.
 

ITG

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,483
Location
Dallas/Fort Worth (TEXAS)
Jeff, I'm glad you felt open enough to share your grief with us. Pets are special and I feel your pain. This summer, my mom's Scottie dog passed away at 14 years of age (I was 15 when we got her.) I was thankful she passed away in our arms (although we had to make the hard decision to put her to sleep). I'm sure you're thankful you were able to spend Skyler's last moments with your kitty.
 

CoffeeDude

One of the Regulars
Messages
207
Location
Bellevue, WA.
Jeff, heart felt sympathy to you on the loss of your friend. Pets are certainly more than animals they become friends and adopted family members. We teach them how to sit, roll over, and fetch. They teach us how to love unconditionally.
 

Mycroft

One Too Many
Messages
1,993
Location
Florida, U.S.A. for now
CoffeeDude said:
Jeff, heart felt sympathy to you on the loss of your friend. Pets are certainly more than animals they become friends and adopted family members. We teach them how to sit, roll over, and fetch. They teach us how to love unconditionally.

I agree and I am truly sorry about your loss.
 

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