I'm afraid the version you see is the last one. Sounds mad, but I basically wrote a 'long version', then cut and re-arranged it until I reached the one you see. I have a couple of roughs my other half read and gave her opinion, but nothing that I'd really want to share , they really are half-formed.I'm sure we'd all love to read the unabridged version if you can post it here. Not sure if your work would allow it, but I thought it was worth a shot.....