30's Gentlemen's Etiquette

[Tomasso]

Not really messy I suppose, but I have been told the correct way to eat asparagus at dinner was with your fingers.

This would be fun to watch........

 

[Talbot]

Heh, why am I thinking Vincent Vega and french fries

 

[CigarSmokePhilosopher]

i looooooooooove hollandaise sauce

 

[Philip Adams]

In business/workplace I don't believe it is ever acceptable for kissing to take place. I always shake hands with the men and with a woman only if she offers her hand. I believe this has always been the etiquette to wait for the lady to offer her hand first. A few years ago a female work colleague/friend mentioned that I only shook hands with one woman (there were no men in the office) when being introduce. I replied "that's because she offered it to me"

I totally agree. Kissing in the workplace for me is just a big no-no.

These days when in a work situation I always offer my hand to both men and women for fear of falling into the very situation you just mention. Most of the young women (and men) I work with don't even understand basic spelling let alone social etiquette.

 

[scotrace]

Not really messy I suppose, but I have been told the correct way to eat asparagus at dinner was with your fingers.

Uh, no. :

 

[LordBest]

I was taught the traditional way of eating asparagus was holding it by the cut end with ones fingers. I would imagine it would help to keep the ends clear of sauce. A fork may be tolerated, but cutting it was a dreadful faux pas.

 

[Widebrim]

I totally agree. Kissing in the workplace for me is just a big no-no.

These days when in a work situation I always offer my hand to both men and women for fear of falling into the very situation you just mention. Most of the young women (and men) I work with don't even understand basic spelling let alone social etiquette.

This does happen (kissing in the workplace) at my school. And I'm not just talking about between staff (which sometimes occur, even to me), but between parents and teachers. Big no-no for more than one reason.

 

[MikeBravo]

This does happen (kissing in the workplace) at my school. And I'm not just talking about between staff (which sometimes occur, even to me), but between parents and teachers. Big no-no for more than one reason.

My first reaction was "Wow!!" Upon reflection, my final reaction is "Wow!"

 

[Pompidou]

I was taught the traditional way of eating asparagus was holding it by the cut end with ones fingers. I would imagine it would help to keep the ends clear of sauce. A fork may be tolerated, but cutting it was a dreadful faux pas.

By sheer luck (asparagus received no special rules in my family that I remember), I apparently eat asparagus tolerably. I think most everyone else at the table used a knife and fork, but I'd just use a fork and keep biting off the ends till I got to the middle.

 

[Marshall]

This does happen (kissing in the workplace) at my school. And I'm not just talking about between staff (which sometimes occur, even to me), but between parents and teachers. Big no-no for more than one reason.

Wow, I can't believe that goes on, Sam Hill!

 

[fluteplayer07]

A question for the more socially adept among us...

I'm taking a longtime lady-friend of mine to lunch this week. Not a date, per se, but I still would like to uphold a respectable image by following as much etiquette as would be appropriate. It won't be too fancy of a restaurant; probably the luncheon menu of a business-casual establishment. What should I do about paying the bill? As I have always been told, the man pays for the lady's tab. Is this true every time that I meet her? I don't want to appear to 'buy' her friendship, or to flaunt my money (which generally isn't much!). And of course, do I offer? Beginning or end of the meal? This entire topic is a bit of a grey area for me.

Thanks,

 

[rue]

Personally, even though I can afford to pay the bill, it's nice when a man takes charge and just does it, but I'm old fashioned that way. If you feel more than friendship towards her, I think it's definitely appropriate to pay.

 

[scotrace]

Be smooth. As the waitstaff is taking orders (or if they ask "one check or separate?"), glance at her and say "May I?" as you say to the waitress/er, "my bill please." and then back to your friend, "what would you like?" Let her protest later if she wants.

 

[rue]

*swoon*... yes do that

 

[Lady Day]

Yeha, that is pretty smooth

LD

 

[Widebrim]

Be smooth. As the waitstaff is taking orders (or if they ask "one check or separate?"), glance at her and say "May I?" as you say to the waitress/er, "my bill please." and then back to your friend, "what would you like?" Let her protest later if she wants.

Good going, Scotrace!

 

[bunnyb.gal]

Scotrace, that's some silky technique you've got going there!

 

[fluteplayer07]

Very smooth thinking, Scotrace! We decided on a bit more casual of a place, but I may just steal that anyways! In the past, would paying for the tab indicate something more than mere friendship, or can it also be used simply as a gesture of chivalry?

I'd be curious to know the official position on paying the tab; for any situation. I've seen some of the writings about meals in etiquette books; where to set the silverware, where to put the napkin, etc. But the books seem to overlook the aspect of paying. Casual meeting with friends? Formal dinner with family? I've never really heard the old opinions on this, but I always figured it just to be a matter of good taste.

On an unrelated note, all of the sources I've read about hat etiquette proscribe that one is to doff his hat to passing women, elderly, friends, ones you bump into, etc. How did a person handle this during the Golden Era? Especially in downtown, where there are so many people to tip one's hat to, that it would spend more time off one's head than on!

Cheers,

 

[Pompidou]

What I usually do when it comes to tabs is ask, "Will you ever want to eat out with me again?" to which she says, "Yeah - of course." Then I say, "Then you can pay the tab the next time, if you want. Going Dutch seems cheap to me. It all balances out in the end, and we don't look like misers to the staff." This usually works.

 

[Tiller]

Personally, even though I can afford to pay the bill, it's nice when a man takes charge and just does it, but I'm old fashioned that way. If you feel more than friendship towards her, I think it's definitely appropriate to pay.

IMO if she is more then a friend, the guy should pay. I personally don't care if she is more "well off" then I am, or whatever excuse some guys throw up. If your taking her out to dinner it's your treat. If you can't afford to take her to dinner do something else, or make a meal at home for her. If your more connected to a few dollars then you are her, you don't deserve to be with her.

I don't buy into the whole let's be equal stuff when it comes to dating. If your taking her out for a night on the town, do it on your own dime. You don't ask a woman out then expert her to pick up the tab.