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Stain repellent suede has to be one of the holy grails of the clothing industry - that and a genetically engineered sheep that produced moth-proof wool....
Seinfeld is exactly where my head goes with the suede too.... I guess that show traumatised a generation of would-be suede-wearers!
And it's nonsense, same as Ross being unable to take off leather trousers (though that is closer to reality as really tight ones can get a bit fussy at times).
You can wash suede jackets like any textile, they'll come out clean and looking new. I've machine washed a few suede jackets at least twice and my only suede pants about a good dozen times to no ill effect. They're a tiny bit stiff once dry but soon settle in the same they were before the wash.