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  1. LostInTyme

    Raking Autumn's Produce

    He's probably paying for law school.
  2. LostInTyme

    Things You can't Do Anymore

    Start near the end, as is our fate.
  3. LostInTyme

    Things You can't Do Anymore

    Pickleball Abandoned Well, last week I attempted to play pickleball once again since giving it up when the pandemic began. About 10 minutes in, I began to wonder about my decision. Aches and pains prevailed everywhere. My 76 year old body was protesting to my 26 year old mind. After a week...
  4. LostInTyme

    Raking Autumn's Produce

    (Originally written in 2015) I confess, I really don’t rake much anymore, in the truest sense of the word. I have a backpack blower that I use to gather up the “countless” leaf clutter each year into large piles. Then I do actually rake them onto canvass tarpaulins, approximately 16’ by 12’...
  5. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    I went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. I then tied it to my bike carrier. After I thought about it, I decided that if I fell off the bike the JD would probably break. So, I drank the bottle of JD. It's a good thing I did that, because I fell off the bike seven...
  6. LostInTyme

    You know you are getting old when:

    A Boston Cooler. Anyone ever heard of it?
  7. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    An orthopedic surgeon who specializes in joint replacement goes into a medical supply store and orders some prosthetics. He gets several knees and hips, a few shoulders and a couple of ankles. As the surgeon is getting ready to leave with the replacement joints the medical supply clerk asks...
  8. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    A group of baboons is called a congress. It all makes sense now.
  9. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    How many trees does it take to make a forest? I know it takes two trees to hang a hammock, and when that is done, I don't care about the rest of the question, 'cause now I can rest, and stop thinking about stupid crap.
  10. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    A man is talking to God. “God, how long is a million years?” God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.” “God, how much is a million dollars?” “To me, it’s a penny.” “God, may I have a penny?” “Wait a minute.”
  11. LostInTyme

    End of Manual-Transmission Era - Honda Accord

    My last manual transmission car was a 2004 Mini Cooper S. It had a six speed and was great fun to drive. The turbo charger made it even better and more fun. Alas, those days are behind us as arthritis prevented us from entering and exiting the car. Traded away for a Mazda CX-5 which is much...
  12. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    We'll be turning our clocks back soon. Gaining an extra hour in 2022 is like getting an extra track on a Yoko Ono album.
  13. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    I never had restless leg syndrome, but I did watch wrestle-mania once.
  14. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    ON DRUGS............. Do the manufacturers and marketing people think that by adding a Q to the name it will make us more likely to purchase it? And, how the hell are we supposed to know that we are allegeric to the drug before we take it? And, why are the side effects always what the drug is...
  15. LostInTyme

    When I grow up I'm going to be a.....................

    I believe, because of my early employment in fast food, I at one time wanted to become a chef. An opportunity came along for a job in construction, and I took it. Fifty years later, I retired and took some gourmet cooking classes. Now I combine the skills I learned in construction in...
  16. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    Who remembers the swine flu?
  17. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    BEWARE THE HAND! (of a 1 year old birthday girl)
  18. LostInTyme

    Grand Daughter is becoming a "Reader"

    One of my Grand Daughters recently asked me if I had any Stephen King books. Being a very long term Stephen King fan, I told her I would look around for some. The problem was that I had sold most of the early works in a garage sale years ago. So, I bought her a copy of his latest, "Fairy...
  19. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

    What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter….
  20. LostInTyme

    Clean Jokes

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