You Know You Live in a Small(ish) Town When...

[MisterCairo]

Stratford, Ontario had a local guy who hung around the downtown core dressed, winter or summer, spring or fall, in a heavy parka. The poor wee man had some kind of palsy, he shook continuously, and owing to his Asian looks was referred to as Eskimo Joe. He must have died about eight years ago having been part of the local colour for decades. I'd say hello to him, he'd look and nod.

Our town is also small enough, and shall we say, sufficiently homogenous, such that we have "the black guy" who, like Joe, hangs around downtown. He also, spring or fall, winter or summer, wears the same cool cowboy-ish hat and long, heavy brown leather overcoat.

Really nice guy, says hello back and waves, and just loves livin' the life.

 

[2jakes]

"Bongo Joe" was his title.
Hauling his oil drums playing mostly on the streets of my hometown.
This was my first introduction to "jazz".
I took him for granted that he would always be there.
He is gone now and I miss him.

 

[AmateisGal]

...you "drag Main Street" on Friday and Saturday nights for something to do.

Gosh. I spent SO many nights dragging main in high school and the times I came home from college.

 

[AmateisGal]

...the entire fire department is made up of volunteers.
...local dances are held at the fire hall.
...you have the same teacher as your mom and dad did in high school (true story - he only retired about two years ago).

 

[LizzieMaine]

...you have the same teacher as your mom and dad did in high school (true story - he only retired about two years ago).

I not only had the same first grade teacher that my mother had, but that teacher *babysat* my mother. All the high school teachers had turned over though -- rarely did any teacher stay in our district more than a couple of years. They got tired of being hit by bits of plaster falling out of the ceiling, and of having to take summer jobs in the chicken-gutting factories to survive.

 

[MisterCairo]

When spring formally arrives because the park swans, having wintered in a dedicated building with outdoor access to a heated pond, are paraded by a pipe and drum band from the facility (which I lived behind for several years) to the Avon River:

http://www.stratfordbeaconherald.co...ance-unveils-its-two-day-swan-parade-schedule

 

[green papaya]

you go to watch a movie at the local theater and your the only person in the whole theater, and they dont even start the movie on time because they're hoping more customers show up

and they have some high school kid running the projector that comes down to check if there are any people waiting to see the movie, business is slow.

sometimes they will ask are you ready? then when you say yes, he starts the movie while your the only customer.

it's kind of embarrassing being the only guy there like in the movie "The Lonely Guy" with Steve Martin.

 

[Trenchfriend]

...when you look out of your northside-kitchen window, into the landscape, over the roofs of your town and the only visible sign of life, you can see, is the bright-coloured omnibus, driving out of the town-area at the northwest-end, up the hill, to disappear in the woods.

 

[green papaya]

when your woken up in the middle of the night because the house is shaking from the freight train going through town late at night at full speed.

 

[MisterCairo]

you go to watch a movie at the local theater and your the only person in the whole theater, and they dont even start the movie on time because they're hoping more customers show up

and they have some high school kid running the projector that comes down to check if there are any people waiting to see the movie, business is slow.

sometimes they will ask are you ready? then when you say yes, he starts the movie while your the only customer.

it's kind of embarrassing being the only guy there like in the movie "The Lonely Guy" with Steve Martin.

That's happened to me.

Best film going experience of my life: "This is just for ME!"

 

[LizzieMaine]

Patron, on a blizzardy afternoon when no sane person is abroad: "What time are you showing the movie today?"
Me: "What time can you be here?"

 

[2jakes]

Announcement made at the end of the day blaring over a loudspeaker at our local
one store town.


"Attention shoppers...buy twelve dozen donuts and get twelve dozen free...that's right shoppers
buy 12 dozen & get 12 dozen free right now at the flashing red light at the snack bar!"

 

[Nobert]

Your 10th grade Social Studies teacher is more well-known for playing the part of a local historical figure in the annual parade in honor of the same than he is for stoking the intellectual furnaces of the town's youth.

 

[2jakes]

I like small towns that haven't changed much!

 

[Trenchfriend]

When you take a peaceful little walkaround, walk along the street outwards, coming by the town boundary and think: "Ah, interesting. The town-sign stands crooked, seems to be hit by any vehicle". And five seconds later, you walk peacefully further.

 

[LizzieMaine]

 

[vitanola]

Patron, on a blizzardy afternoon when no sane person is abroad: "What time are you showing the movie today?"
Me: "What time can you be here?"

Reminds me of a story my mother told.

My mother and grandmother were regular patrons at the local neighborhood theater, the Almira, which stood about five blocks from their house. A major blizzard buried the Midwest over New Year's Weekend in 1942. Saturday, however, was movie night, and being creatures of habit Grandma Bartik and Mom made tracks for the theater. The theater manager, Hyam Kornbluth and his wife (who lived with their children in an apartment behind the projection booth) were of course suprised to see these two lonely patrons who braved the storm. The manager proposed to run the show for them gratis since they were there anyway. The manager's wife then invited them to supper so they made a pic-nic of Mrs. Kornbluth's excellent chicken friccasse and date and walnut cake. After the program was run everyone was having so much fun that Mr. Kornbluth proposed to run a group of short subjects which were yet in his film lockers. Apparently the group was up watching pictures and chatting until nearly 1:00 in the morning. I am told that my grandfather was frantic with worry when Mom and Grandma finally returned home. Shortly thereafter he had a telephone installed. The Kornbluths became family friends, I remember visiting with them in my childhood. Mrs. Kornbluth said that the (predominantly) Irish Catholic neighborhood was not a terribly welcoming place until she met my grandmother (who was then new to the neighborhood and being Czech was also not of the correct ethnicity).

 

[Inkstainedwretch]

Vitanola, were your Kornbluths any relation to famed SF writer Cyril M. Kornbluth? I know he was from NYC and was of Polish-Jewish ancestry, but it's not a very common name.

 

[vitanola]

Vitanola, were your Kornbluths any relation to famed SF writer Cyril M. Kornbluth? I know he was from NYC and was of Polish-Jewish ancestry, but it's not a very common name.

I don't know.

I do know that they both had a distinct Litvakish dialect when they spoke Yiddish, so they would have been from Baltic Russian Poland, rather than from Austrian Galacian Poland.

 

[Atticus Finch]

You know you live in a small town when your mailman uses his cell phone to call you at your office, and tells you he delivered a package at your house...but he was worried it might rain and noticed the garage door was unlocked...so he left it inside on the work bench.

Yup. This happened to me.

AF