The Dumbest Comment I Ever Heard

[ET]

I volunteer to cook at a fish fry in the church basement- I have been doing it for about 15 years - I switched out of my old ball cap I use to work in the kitchen into my Akubra Down Under and then went in to say good night to the "boys" working and one of them asked "hey does that thing hold water?"
and makes a snatching motion toward my head. I was needless to say taken aback....

 

[avedwards]

Comeback to "Inspector Gadget"

This will only work if the idiot says Inspector Gadget, unfortunately it's no good if someone hums the tune (someone else will have to think of a comeback for that).

Idiot: "Inspector Gadget"
You: (looking offended) Actually, I've been promoted. I'm now chief superintendant.

The average idiot will have to think about that for a while.

 

[Torpedo]

I was walking throught the soccer fields to my son's game last night, in my trenchcoat and a very large brim Penny's Marathon, when this idiot teenager stops in the MIDDLE OF HIS SOCCER GAME to shout, "Hey, it's Inspector Gadget!"

(...)


Funny thing is, I decided not to wear a stingy yesterday and instead went for the 2-3/4 brim to avoid just such a remark. [huh]

Yesterday it was raining, so I took out my trench, too. I deliberately chose a larger brim precisely because of the same reason as you; my Penman Raiders. I wore a vintage diamond-point bow tie, also. I received several comments, all from coworkwers, all good-humoured.

I got a Humphrey Bogart remark, which I prefer any day to a Inspector Gadget one... and I admit that the trench/fedora combo is practically asking for it, so I do not really worry. But I still got one Gadget comment, too.
The last one was "You look like a young Dr. Jones", which at least was something new, if not really accurate.


Regards!

 

[celtic]

So can anybody think of a good comeback to hoody wearing youths when they say Inspector Gadget? I have checked the amazing list but have not found any which quite fit the case. Any help would be greatly appreciated, so that I can battle the poorly dressed morons with words.

"Tell Grandma I said Hello, Little (insert color here) Riding Hood"

 

[JohnnyB53]

Don't know if this one has been posted yet, but I was wearing my Akubra Campdraft and a columbia ski jacket and a guy I walked by said in a thick ghetto accent, "Damn, you look just like Al Capone" ...

And you look like you left your red helmet somewhere.

 

[JohnnyB53]

"Hey, are you going golfing?" I had no idea what he was talking about and didn't figure it out until later. So I had no snappy comeback.

Why, did you want to polish my balls?

 

[Tango Yankee]

"Tell Grandma I said Hello, Little (insert color here) Riding Hood"

lol lol :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[metropd]

When people on rare occasions make stupid comments, I just smile and laugh at their comment. Almost always they will say just joking,you look great, or I didn't mean to offend you. I

 

[MrFusion]

Ok, this really doesn't belong here considering the source of the comment, but my wife got a kick out of this so I figured I'd share.

I went to the Walmart during lunch to take care of a honeydo list I was given. I am wearing a trench coat and my Art Fawcett Sportaire. So I'm trying to find something on the list and a woman pushing a cart with a 3 or 4 year old boy is coming towards me so I move out of the way for her to pass and her son looks at me and says, "Well, Hi Cowboy!!". Without missing a beat, I got a big smile on my face and said, "Hello! How are you?!".
He got the biggest grin on his face and his mother, looking a bit embarrassed, couldn't stop laughing. The best part was, as she pushed the cart away from me, I heard the little boy say, "Mom, why are you laughing?"

 

[KeyGrip]

A few of my friends and I were waiting at a Muni stop when the following exchainge occurred:

Crusty Guy: Hey, which Amish community you from?

Us: What?

Crusty Guy: Which Amish community you from?

Us: Militant


What made the whole situation surprising was that we looked nothing like Amish folk at all. Our manner of dress was not nearly neat, clean, and austere enough. The only thing I can think of that could have triggered the comment was that we were all wearing brimmed hats. I guess most people have no idea what the Amish look like.

 

[ScionPI2005]

Ok, this really doesn't belong here considering the source of the comment, but my wife got a kick out of this so I figured I'd share.

I went to the Walmart during lunch to take care of a honeydo list I was given. I am wearing a trench coat and my Art Fawcett Sportaire. So I'm trying to find something on the list and a woman pushing a cart with a 3 or 4 year old boy is coming towards me so I move out of the way for her to pass and her son looks at me and says, "Well, Hi Cowboy!!". Without missing a beat, I got a big smile on my face and said, "Hello! How are you?!".
He got the biggest grin on his face and his mother, looking a bit embarrassed, couldn't stop laughing. The best part was, as she pushed the cart away from me, I heard the little boy say, "Mom, why are you laughing?"

lol :eusa_clap That's cute!

 

[Mr_Misanthropy]

That's a good one, MrFusion. The cute comments from the kiddies, I don't mind one bit.

 

[Charlz]

Our office has a tradition of wearing costumes for Halloween. One year I dressed up like Albert Einstein (Who I look like anyway). I wore a long, black wool coat, black pants, black silk tie, white shirt. I had the straight pipe, the ratted hair, mustache/moustache, everything. I even wore a picture of Einstein on a cord around my neck to show the resemblance. Several people had no idea who Einstein was at all and never heard his name before. One person said " are you Sherlock Holmes?" It was then that I realized that I was alone in the universe, so very very alone.

 

[Jerekson]

Our office has a tradition of wearing costumes for Halloween. One year I dressed up like Albert Einstein (Who I look like anyway). I wore a long, black wool coat, black pants, black silk tie, white shirt. I had the straight pipe, the ratted hair, mustache/moustache, everything. I even wore a picture of Einstein on a cord around my neck to show the resemblance. Several people had no idea who Einstein was at all and never heard his name before. One person said " are you Sherlock Holmes?" It was then that I realized that I was alone in the universe, so very very alone.

I mean this not to come off in any type of offensive way, but you must live in a particularly uneducated area or something. That is truly one of the dumbest comments, or at least encounters, I've ever heard of.

 

[Charlz]

I mean this not to come off in any type of offensive way, but you must live in a particularly uneducated area or something. That is truly one of the dumbest comments, or at least encounters, I've ever heard of.

No offense taken. It is a lovely place, but alas your analysis is correct.

 

[greatestescaper]

I have several stories. Being in high school they are quite common. I used to wear a brown leather aussie style cowboy hat. Indiana Jones was a common remark. I didn't mind that so much because I am a big fan. However, in the fall of this past year I was walking from the train to school wearing an Irish made newsie wool cap, when I heard two sophomores (I am a senior), who were walking about 20 feet behind me say "That's the weird guy with the stupid cowboy hat. He used to wear a cowboy hat all the time. Now he wears that french hat." Needless to say I was annoyed. Mostly because they were only talking that way because they didn't think I could hear them. So when I swiped my id into school I paused, waited for them to be within ears reach and said, very quietly "First off it's not a french hat. It's an irish newsie cap. Secondly I'd watch what I say behind people's back." Then I walked away laughing as I heard them say "O crap, he heard us."
I do have a big sense of humor and so about a month ago I was on the bus wearing a leather aussie hat with the snap up brim. And I heard a little boy sitting across from me asking his mother if I was a cowboy. She was embarrassed and tried to quiet him. I didn't mind. I thought it was funny. When I got up to leave he flat out asked me "are you a real cowboy?" His mom was mortified. I laughed and told him I was. Then I told him I had to run that I was late for a cattle drive and got off the bus. The smile on his face made it so worth it.

PS- sorry for the long post.

 

[anon`]

...I was walking from the train to school wearing an Irish made newsie wool cap, when I heard two sophomores (I am a senior), who were walking about 20 feet behind me say "That's the weird guy with the stupid cowboy hat. He used to wear a cowboy hat all the time. Now he wears that french hat." Needless to say I was annoyed. Mostly because they were only talking that way because they didn't think I could hear them. So when I swiped my id into school I paused, waited for them to be within ears reach and said, very quietly "First off it's not a french hat. It's an irish newsie cap. Secondly I'd watch what I say behind people's back." Then I walked away laughing as I heard them say "O crap, he heard us."

"I'm sure that an Irishman would be quite offended to be accused of wearing a beret."

We can debate over whether or not that is actually true, but it does tip them off that they're not all that and best of all, there is just enough there that someday one of them might actually realise what that statement really says

 

[rrog]

No offense taken. It is a lovely place, but alas your analysis is correct.

As a native Tennessean, I initially was going to ask if this "place" was in East, Middle or West Tennessee, but then I realized... that's pretty much a true statement in the whole state!

rrog

(we hillbillies have to laugh at ourselves. everyone else do, so why not join the crowd? lol )

 

[Caity Lynn]

I think it's the most adorably things when little kids think people are a cowboy lol a while back my brother (who does dress in full western apparel) and the family were in a diner, and this little kid could barely eat he was staring in awe at my brother "the cowboy" made the whole family's meal

 

[Jerekson]

Not hat related, but I just remembered this one today...

In high school I would make it a habit to wear my sunglasses during P.E., because at the time of day I had that class the sun was usually something fierce.

some of you have no doubt seen my sunglasses - they're round silver frames with black lenses and wire temples.

Well, from what I can remember nobody ever bothered me about them (yeah, I looked that good in them), but one day I remember doing football drills and hearing two "popular" kids talking about me, unaware that I could hear them. One of them said under his breath that my glasses made me look like a hobo (still don't get that one).
Then a few minutes later the girl, standing on the sidelines near me, said something like "nice catch, Elton."
She seemed to be under the impression that I hadn't heard her, so I ignored her at first, trying to think. Then when I was nearer to her I said, "I think that you probably meant to call me John Lennon."
She was a bit taken aback because again, she didn't know that I'd heard her. Then she said, "No, I said Elton John".
My response was "Yes I know, but I think you had him confused with John Lennon. Lennon was the one that wore round sunglasses like these. Elton's were quite different usually."
At this point one of this girl's friends started laughing and said "He's right. Elton John wore those blue sunglasses, not the round ones. That's John Lennon".
Needless to say the loudmouth girl was totally embarassed, and attempted to end the conversation by saying "whatever" and giving a shallow laugh while avoiding eye contact with me.
I decided to let it go after that...no need to humiliate her.