Senator Jack
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Friends have long given up on asking me why I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m always dressed. Too many times they have heard my stock answer of ?¢‚ǨÀúBecause I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m a gentleman and I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m out.?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ But they still do admonish me for letting the public?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s lethargy bother me so much. Why, for instance, do I have to sneer at and then comment on every sandal-shod man that passes me on the street? And why must I do the same of every woman who insists on wearing an exposing mid-riff top despite her struggle to lug about a mid-riff that is gelatinously too large by half? ?¢‚ǨÀúLive and let live?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ they tell me, ?¢‚ǨÀúNo one?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s telling you what to wear, so what right do you have to tell them??¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢
All right, I don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have a right, but by the same token the public should not have the right to subject me to its collection of anatomical misfortunes. And though it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s unfortunate that the politicians will never put forth any laws limiting the display of these public eyesores (Apart from the beach, I believe men, like women, should not be allowed to be publicly shirtless) I do wish the private sector would at least reinstate some of those outmoded dress codes. After all, it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s bad enough that at cafes I have to watch hipster guy wiggling his bulbous hairy foot about his sandal while he?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s sipping his Pabst Blue Ribbon, but now he's dressing this way to come to the finer restaurants and even the theater. I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m not a man of money, and as such, when I take my girl out for night, it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s always an event. I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll let the lethargic have free reign over the burger joints and clam shacks, but if I go to a restaurant that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s going to be taking a minimum of $100 from me, then I expect I shouldn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have to sit across from anyone in a ripped up Iron Maiden t-shirt with his belly sticking out. The same goes for the theater. It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s well known that people used to dress to go even to the local bijou - and again I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll let the lethargic have the run of the modern Cineplex - but Broadway is just too expensive to have my night ruined by an endless parade of K-Mart knit-topped tourists with junior in his gangsta pants and underwear showing. I know, ?¢‚ǨÀúWho cares after the lights go down??¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ Right? Well, I like to think there are still a few places that one can recapture the era of elegance and Broadway should remain one of them.
The point is I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m no longer holding my tongue when I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m subjected to this and I suggest everyone else begin to do the same. Let restaurant managers know you think they should institute a dress code, and if a jacket is not required of men, then how about at least a decent pair of shoes and a shirt that doesn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have some sort of corporate logo or prurient witticism across it? (Will these people ever realize they?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢re really never that witty?) And don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t be afraid to ask for a change of tables when the couple next are offensive. Don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t think they?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll be offended by your getting up and moving, for they were the ones who offended you first. Some people don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t want to sit next to smokers, and everyone thinks it a perfectly valid reason to change tables, so should I feel bad about not wanting to sit next to people who are chewing with their mouths open or that are yapping on the cell phone? I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve even told the management of one major museum they should not allow gum inside as the cracking detracts from the experience and was told I was absolutely right and they were looking to put a ban in place. (I promise more on this masticatory vulgarity in a coming rant)
Certainly this all comes across as pie in the sky. No, the genie will never get back in the bottle, and the golden age will never return, but at least by registering a gentle protest you can give restaurateurs and venue management something to think about.
I await all comments censorious. Till then, I remain?¢‚Ǩ¬¶
Senator Jack
All right, I don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have a right, but by the same token the public should not have the right to subject me to its collection of anatomical misfortunes. And though it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s unfortunate that the politicians will never put forth any laws limiting the display of these public eyesores (Apart from the beach, I believe men, like women, should not be allowed to be publicly shirtless) I do wish the private sector would at least reinstate some of those outmoded dress codes. After all, it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s bad enough that at cafes I have to watch hipster guy wiggling his bulbous hairy foot about his sandal while he?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s sipping his Pabst Blue Ribbon, but now he's dressing this way to come to the finer restaurants and even the theater. I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m not a man of money, and as such, when I take my girl out for night, it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s always an event. I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll let the lethargic have free reign over the burger joints and clam shacks, but if I go to a restaurant that?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s going to be taking a minimum of $100 from me, then I expect I shouldn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have to sit across from anyone in a ripped up Iron Maiden t-shirt with his belly sticking out. The same goes for the theater. It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s well known that people used to dress to go even to the local bijou - and again I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll let the lethargic have the run of the modern Cineplex - but Broadway is just too expensive to have my night ruined by an endless parade of K-Mart knit-topped tourists with junior in his gangsta pants and underwear showing. I know, ?¢‚ǨÀúWho cares after the lights go down??¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ Right? Well, I like to think there are still a few places that one can recapture the era of elegance and Broadway should remain one of them.
The point is I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m no longer holding my tongue when I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m subjected to this and I suggest everyone else begin to do the same. Let restaurant managers know you think they should institute a dress code, and if a jacket is not required of men, then how about at least a decent pair of shoes and a shirt that doesn?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t have some sort of corporate logo or prurient witticism across it? (Will these people ever realize they?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢re really never that witty?) And don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t be afraid to ask for a change of tables when the couple next are offensive. Don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t think they?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll be offended by your getting up and moving, for they were the ones who offended you first. Some people don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t want to sit next to smokers, and everyone thinks it a perfectly valid reason to change tables, so should I feel bad about not wanting to sit next to people who are chewing with their mouths open or that are yapping on the cell phone? I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ve even told the management of one major museum they should not allow gum inside as the cracking detracts from the experience and was told I was absolutely right and they were looking to put a ban in place. (I promise more on this masticatory vulgarity in a coming rant)
Certainly this all comes across as pie in the sky. No, the genie will never get back in the bottle, and the golden age will never return, but at least by registering a gentle protest you can give restaurateurs and venue management something to think about.
I await all comments censorious. Till then, I remain?¢‚Ǩ¬¶
Senator Jack