Self-Conscious?

[ideaguy]

Holy Smokes!! welcome all you guys! looks like Spring has produced a new crop of fashion conscious gentlemen that might change the looks of the average group of men - hats are terrific THINGS. Conversation starters, memory machines, confidence boosters, badges of non-conformity, the list goes on...
yeah, it's difficult at first to see ones' reflection wearing a "real hat"-if you've looked at some of the threads here, and tried to wear a hat that complements your facial style, head shape, etc., if you've put some thought into the kind of hat that says "you" more than just another clone of an Indy hat (they can be very attractive, no doubt-) and you like the look of the reflection, you might be onto something catching. There's so many different looks to make your own-hard to be put into a spot where you feel like a poser, or copyist, or wanna-be. Welcome to a new way of living, basically-taking the care to put yourself together into the package you've seen in your head all these years, and smiling all the way; nervously at first, perhaps, but you'll gain the confidence of being the guy that gets looked over-instead of overlooked.
One of our members has a quote that says something like-"life's too short to dress like a slob" (sic) I say- a sturdy pair of boots, a fine Fedora, and an attitude-are enough to get me anywhere I want to go. Self-conscious? heck yeah-I want to remember I'm not sleep-walking through life. Finally spent some time & money on looking the way I want to-hot damn! can't wait to hit the big city, stroll down 5th Ave, lovely wife on my side, living in style-can't beat it with a TV Guide...

 

[Pat_H]

I've been bald for about ten years, so I had to wear hats of some sort in the winter for warmth and in the summer for sun-protection.

I'm not bald, but that same reasoning applies here in spades.

Indeed, I long ago grew accustomed to wearing a cowboy hat in my rural occupation (I have two), and there's no way you'd find me out in the sticks without it. I do not feel the least bit self conscious about that, even in town, and even if somebody comments on it (which they rarely do). If they do, I feel they are an idiot, if the comment warrants it.

With the fedora, I will wear it occasionally when it is snowy and cold, as it still is here. In cold weather of this type (not super cold, but wet and snowy) I can't help but look at men who are wearing some weird cotton knit cap with their dress clothes and thinking, "geez buddy, what are you thinking, you look like you're 12".

 

[MississippiLong]

???

I bought my first fedora 3 months ago...i put it on and loved it! i don't apologize or give a **** what others think. I've never felt self conscious about them...or havent yet....bottom line. Don't be sorry for it...wear it like everyone is a moron for not wearing one. Believe me, you'll get compliments, because hey, you look good my friend!

 

[Pat_H]

OK, I just read the following info on the Dandyism.net site---a site I just discovered yesterday. Fun stuff! : ) I'm not in their league, nor do I want to be, but the posters there made a great point. Actually, they quoted Tom Wolfe... the point being...

When you dress well you're being AGGRESSIVE.

I think we need to remember this.

It may well account for some of the shyness we feel. There's a flipside to aggression.

It's why only those who are confident will do it, will dare to stand out. It is in fact rude to stand out. You are claiming a leadership position in so doing. If only to say that you lead yourself. It's quite nervy!

Of course many of our styles ARE acceptable to the modern eye, as the earlier poster said, and might not stand out MUCH. But they stand out SOME.

And it does to a degree make other people look bad.

At the SAME time, dressing well is inspiring and an uplift to culture.

The cutting edge of anything has two sides.

So we're in the kitchen... (Some of us are even in the oven! As Bukowski said.) ...Let's get used to it. And press on boldly!

It's a performance. Even when it's a habit and you "phone it in," you're being watched (a bit) more closely than others are. Be prepared!

...Or just dial it down when you're not up for it. : )

The funny thing is that even when I rein it in, I stand out. I remember one "interesting" response just because I was the only one at a nightclub who was NOT wearing a t-shirt, jeans, ad-logo clothes...

Also: We are making our own fashion here. I'm personally not used to being a public artist but once you start deciding what your own look might be you're making art! You're not copying, you're stepping out. Of course all art comes from somewhere so you might think you're copying or keying off of some neat thing you saw...but it's public ART that you're doing! You're changing the terms of the usual clothing deal. Not everyone will like your art but they may well give you (a bit) of respect anyway. ...Except for the other aspects also in play. Exciting stuff, I think!

I've also started to appreciate other people's outfits in a new way. Around here in mid-Michigan nearly all of it is accidental, so it's not art, but I'm enjoying it as a part of legit culture. Not sweatsuits! But I've started accepting some of the camo I see. It used to hurt my eyes. Maybe I'm also using it for some ideas of my own... Camo... (Have you ever seen the dazzle paint on WW1 Navy ships? Now THAT's cool *classic* camo...)

This is off topic to this thread, sort of, but given as "dandyism" was mentioned, I thought I'd link in this NYT slideshow, from today's on-line edition.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/04/03/fashion/20080403_RUNWAY_SLIDESHOW_index.html

This might actually approach true dandyism, but it's interesting to note that people apparently are drawn enough to a more classic styling that they'll gather together in certain unusual settings to be able to do wear the clothes.

 

[Beowulf67]

A small town called Parrish, near Jasper, or about an hour's drive from Birmingham.

I know where that is! No really, I do. lol
I live in a tiny little place that no one has ever heard of so I know what it's like in a small town.

And wouldn't change it for the world.

 

[DrQuest]

I bought my first fedora 3 months ago...i put it on and loved it! i don't apologize or give a **** what others think. I've never felt self conscious about them...or havent yet....bottom line. Don't be sorry for it...wear it like everyone is a moron for not wearing one. Believe me, you'll get compliments, because hey, you look good my friend!

I like this idea alot. In fact, all of the comments here have been extremely helpful.


And MississippiLong; I love the avatar photo.

 

[Pat_H]

Mix and match

On getting used to them, as someone else mentioned, it can be helpful to mix Fedoras with your other contemporary clothing.

I started doing that recently, and it gets you to where you choose a Fedora pretty quickly, as they're so practical. A person doesn't have to dress like Sam Spade in order to wear one, and they're not really part of an ensemble, like some other clothing items are, to where you can only wear one with one thing.

As I have an office job as well as another job, I wear a tie almost every office day. I don't always wear a sports coat or suit, however. Wearing a Fedora with my regular jacket (it's still winter here) makes a lot of practical sense, and I've started to do that where formerly I'd normally wear a newsboy (which I still wear).

 

[Pat_H]

On getting used to them, as someone else mentioned, it can be helpful to mix Fedoras with your other contemporary clothing.

I started doing that recently, and it gets you to where you choose a Fedora pretty quickly, as they're so practical. A person doesn't have to dress like Sam Spade in order to wear one, and they're not really part of an ensemble, like some other clothing items are, to where you can only wear one with one thing.

As I have an office job as well as another job, I wear a tie almost every office day. I don't always wear a sports coat or suit, however. Wearing a Fedora with my regular jacket (it's still winter here) makes a lot of practical sense, and I've started to do that where formerly I'd normally wear a newsboy (which I still wear).

Indeed, I did this just today. I was going out the door into cool weather, it's going to snow later today,and I was wearing my black polar fleece Army jacket. Was going to wear my black B!Wear newsboy, but grabbed the Fedora instead.

 

[mfgann]

I've found that most people don't give it much attention while out and about. Perhaps occasionally a glance, but not much. (They noticed, and commented much more so on the fedora my son(5 year old) got, because he wanted a hat like his dads). I find the place I am most self-conscious is at work. I'm an engineer, so to begin with, I'm not supposed to have a sense of style. Its sort of semi-casual here with polos/button up shirts, khakis or nice jeans, and dress shoes being the usual attire. With the fedora I've noticed people always seem to glance at the hat first, and then try to ignore it. I think it'll wear off over time, as they grow used to me wearing it.

One thing I have to say though, in this environment, there aren't many people who would give you a hard time about your fashion sense, as we all have a good sense of humor about how engineers dress.

I am annoyed by the fact that I got a brown fedora, and only have charcoal colored coats. I need to remedy that.

As to my son's hat, he picked out a short-crowned stingy brimmed "jazz" style hat, and wouldn't even consider the others. I was rather proud, and surprised my wife agreed to get it. It made me pretty envious.. I now have a "jazz" hat on my list of hats I want to acquire.

On a related note: One thing I am very aware of is the feather. Now the fedora I got has what I think is a very nice feather, so I hate to remove it, but I never really intended to keep a feather in my hat. It feels too much like I'm really trying to draw attention to myself, and while I enjoy wearing a hat, I'm really not out to impress people. I am very curious how many people keep their feathers, and how many remove them?

 

[DrQuest]

I wear them because I am a hat person. Prior to my fedora epiphany I wore mostly baseball caps. For me the sun is too bright in the day and I need to shield my eyes with a brim of some sort. Now a hat with a brim all around is going to keep me from getting sun burned in the day and protect me from rain. Those are all postive points as to why you might wear a hat, but in the end I wear a hat because i like wearing hats. It makes me think of my dad and the 1940's and 50's which was a time in which men wore hats and therefore a little of that rubs off on me.

Here, few people say anything, if not being complimentary. I don't feel that I am making a spectical of myself, more that i represent a portion of men that are the hat wearing type. Some people may be frightened some how and that is because they are so narrow minded that anything beyond the mundane and ordinary is too much to bare. Let them be neurotic, I have a life to live and besides I would not wear it if it did not look good to the most important person in the whole world - me.

Actually, you sound ALOT like me. I have probably a half dozen baseball caps, but I am rather picky about the kind I wear. Not just any old cap will do. I have always liked hats and have been wanting a fedora for a long time. Not only are they functional, I just like the way they make a man look, and I too like that whole 30s/40s/50s look. I wish more men dressed in a suit and hat today. Since I got this lid, I have worn the baseball caps alot less. Still like them, but the fedora just fits so well. I plan to get a few more; a black one and a brown one at least, plus Village Hat Shop's website has a very nice Bogart version that I just salivate over. I plan to have several versions as time and money permits.


I am so glad I found this forum, and that there are other gents out there who like hats as much as I do. Gentlemen, my hat's off to each one of you! :eusa_clap

 

[flylot74]

One thing I have to say though, in this environment, there aren't many people who would give you a hard time about your fashion sense, as we all have a good sense of humor about how engineers dress.

Well, after all who else but an engineer would wear a brown fedora with a charcoal gray coat?

I am annoyed by the fact that I got a brown fedora, and only have charcoal colored coats. I need to remedy that.

Oh! Indeed you do! You might look at the lovely gray "Work of Art" in the new hats thread that I recently obtained. I absolutely love it! It might give you some ideas.

As to my son's hat, he picked out a short-crowned stingy brimmed "jazz" style hat, and wouldn't even consider the others. I was rather proud, and surprised my wife agreed to get it. It made me pretty envious.. I now have a "jazz" hat on my list of hats I want to acquire.

Note: Keep the wife!

On a related note: One thing I am very aware of is the feather. Now the fedora I got has what I think is a very nice feather, so I hate to remove it, but I never really intended to keep a feather in my hat. It feels too much like I'm really trying to draw attention to myself, and while I enjoy wearing a hat, I'm really not out to impress people. I am very curious how many people keep their feathers, and how many remove them?

I get rid of my feathers, that's just me though......

 

[WideBrimm]

Hatitude

I bought my first fedora 3 months ago...i put it on and loved it! i don't apologize or give a **** what others think. I've never felt self conscious about them...or havent yet....bottom line. Don't be sorry for it...wear it like everyone is a moron for not wearing one. Believe me, you'll get compliments, because hey, you look good my friend!

Now that's HATITUDE :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[MississippiLong]

And MississippiLong; I love the avatar photo.

Your avatar ain't bad either, brother!
when you look good, you look good, bub.


I appreciate it. My fiance had us take some non-typical engagement photos...we ran a picture of me and her, I'm in a hat, in the newspaper for the engagement announcement. I've worn hats around town and have had at least three people say something to the effect of "Hey, I saw you guys in the paper, I love the hat."

here's the pic we used.

 

[ScionPI2005]

You're not the only one. I'm pretty new to this game too, I just got my first fedora a month and a half ago. I bought it on a whim, but when I bashed it and tried it on, I liked it. Really liked it. So I wore it when I went out that day. At first I felt like everyone was staring at me, a feeling I don't enjoy, and nearly took it off. But I stuck with it. It's rapidly becoming my signature. So far I've gotten nothing but compliments. I went to visit my brother in Burlington VT and wore it out for an evening of barhopping, no one batted an eye. The self consciousness isn't gone entirely yet, and I'm not sure it ever will be gone. But I've decided that I don't care what others think, if my hat offend them that's their problem and not mine. I think that attitude has gone a long way towards the lack of negative comments. Besides, it keeps the rain off my glasses, and I HATE getting rain on my glasses. :rage:

Wear your lid with pride, and definitely wear it with casual clothes. I'm a college student and dress neatly but not professionally (no suit and tie). I think the fedora works just as well with jeans and a tucked in shirt as it does with a three piece suit. It's all in how you wear it.

I can relate to this pretty well myself. I'm also a college student, and while I don't dress professionally, I do dress much more neatly than most college students. I've found both my fedoras and my newsboys to go well with either slacks or jeans with a nice tucked-in button up shirt.

From time to time, my parents still comment about how they aren't certain fedoras look good on me; mainly because when they were growing up, they only saw men wear fedoras when they were completely dressed up. It has taken me some time to feel more comfortable wearing my fedoras even with casual clothes, but I have decided that my style looks good.

It's true. You just have to find what works best for you and stick with it.

 

[DrQuest]

Your avatar ain't bad either, brother!
when you look good, you look good, bub.


I appreciate it. My fiance had us take some non-typical engagement photos...we ran a picture of me and her, I'm in a hat, in the newspaper for the engagement announcement. I've worn hats around town and have had at least three people say something to the effect of "Hey, I saw you guys in the paper, I love the hat."

here's the pic we used.

Thanks, MississippiLong. Good photo of you and your fiance. She is a lovely lady. Congrats to you both.

Yep, the hat looks great on you. I like the whole jacket/sweater look you have there too.


I had no idea I would get so many responses to this question, and they're all good! Obviously many of you have had some experience with this issue, and have conquered it. It's a pleasure to be among you gentlemen, and may I say that all your advice has been most helpful.


Carry on, men!

 

[jackten1]

Self Concious

I remember when I was 12 years old in 1947, my Pop bought me a fedora and wanted me to wear it. I felt self concious then because I thought it was a man's hat, and a kid should not be wearing one, but that is the only time I ever felt out of place wearing a fedora or any other kind of hat. Just put it on your head and go, don't worry about it. Although I admit I do get irked when they are referred to as "pimp" hats or "gangster" hats, but I just consider the source of those comments.

 

[ScionPI2005]

Although I admit I do get irked when they are referred to as "pimp" hats or "gangster" hats, but I just consider the source of those comments.

I feel sorry for those fedoras that are produced with a hot pink or purple hue, and a gigantic feather in the ribbon; it's like they have been sentenced to spend their life as a joke, instead of a classy expression.

In the past, I always cringed when people would comment to me "Nice cowboy hat!" when I was wearing a fedora. Nothing against cowboy hats, I just simply don't have an interest in wearing them as I do fedoras. I just get a little irked when someone mistakes a fedora for a cowboy hat.

 

[Spatterdash]

While I appreciate the support and encouragement I see displayed in this thread (and I was happy to contribute in some small way)...

I'd like to point out that my calling a group of fedoras a 'massacre' as opposed to a flock or a bevy or a cluster... was decidely clever on my part, I'll have you know!
None of you thought of it, now, did you?

That was a winning concept that I believe belongs in the lexicon of hat terminology, thank you very much!

 

[jkingrph]

I wear them because I am a hat person. Prior to my fedora epiphany I wore mostly baseball caps. For me the sun is too bright in the day and I need to shield my eyes with a brim of some sort. Now a hat with a brim all around is going to keep me from getting sun burned in the day and protect me from rain. Those are all postive points as to why you might wear a hat, but in the end I wear a hat because i like wearing hats. It makes me think of my dad and the 1940's and 50's which was a time in which men wore hats and therefore a little of that rubs off on me.

Here, few people say anything, if not being complimentary. I don't feel that I am making a spectical of myself, more that i represent a portion of men that are the hat wearing type. Some people may be frightened some how and that is because they are so narrow minded that anything beyond the mundane and ordinary is too much to bare. Let them be neurotic, I have a life to live and besides I would not wear it if it did not look good to the most important person in the whole world - me.

I probably started for many of the same reasons. I can remember dad wearing fedoras way back then he graduated to westerns, probably because he could not find the fedoras back in the 60's -80's in N. Louisiana.

I started mostly with westerns which is all you can find here in E Texas, but via sources like this forum discovered the fedora. My first was actually an Akruba Banjo Patterson, and I have gotten a lot of compliments on it. Have one nice Panama Bob straw, and a couple of dressier fedoras from Art Fawcett and Steve Delk.

I did go through the phase of everyone is looking at me, and did get some second looks here in the land of the cowboy hat, but kept on wearing and have now got to the point where I feel naked without my hat.

My suggestion is to dress for yourself and do not worry or care about what someone else, especially that stranger might think.

 

[SGT Rocket]

New Member, ex-lurker

Hello Gents,

I’ve been lurking awhile now and I just thought I would finally chime in.

I too, am new to wearing hats (except for when I was in the military–I’m NG now). I’ve always loved the suites and hats of men in old black and white movies. I’ve always wanted to dress like that but up until now, I didn’t have the money, and I thought it wasn’t “me.”

Now I have a great excuse. This past Tuesday, I had my second skin cancer operation on my head. It was only a Basal Cell, but, it was my second operation. I took about 12 stitches this time. Last operation I took tons of stitches. I have a scar under my hair on my left side of my head, that is about a five inches– in an arch over my ear. You can’t see it because it’s covered up by my hair. This last operation is about 2.5 inches long and goes from the top of my head to just above my occipital protuberance.

Wear your hat with pride, hats are totally cool!!!

So, I’m now searching for good hat vendors in the Twin Cities area. I’ll probably get a couple of nice straw hats for the summer, and a couple of fedoras for the winter.

If anyone knows of a good, local, hat vendor, please let me know.

All the best!
SlyGi