Partial punchline of a lost joke

[Espee]

My widowed grandmother took war jobs at several U.S. Ordinance Depots around the country. She was on the prudish side, according to my mom, but she started coming home and telling rather wild jokes she had heard on the job. She even brought home, I guess it would be mimeographed, joke sheets. (Too bad we don't have any.) My mom vaguely remembers one (apparently hilarious) joke about some sort of predicament that needed to be solved, and the punchline included:
"with the help of God... and a long-handled toothbrush..."

Sorry, that's all I've got. And I've already googled various portions/variations, and I came up with absolutely nothing.

 

[Johnnysan]

I'm pretty sure that I've heard this one from my dad who is of the same era. It's fairly ribald, so I won't post it here, but will PM you if you so desire.(BTW...you need to be over 18 before I commit it to print!)

 

[Espee]

That's supposed to be "ordnance" as in "ammo and bombs" rather than "ordinance" as in "regulation." I did an Edit but it didn't take...
By the way, my mother and grandmother always said "ordnance deh-po" but "railroad dee-po." (Depot is French for a storage place.)

 

[Phantomfixer]

I'm pretty sure that I've heard this one from my dad who is of the same era. It's fairly ribald, so I won't post it here, but will PM you if you so desire.(BTW...you need to be over 18 before I commit it to print!)

Please pm with the joke!!!

 

[MPicciotto]

same here. Can you PM it to me too?!

Thanks
Matt

 

[Shangas]

I'd like to know what it is, too!

 

[James71]

Just post it!

 

[Shangas]

That's an even better idea...but what if it's *that* lewd?

*shrug*

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I would also like to know!

 

[rue]

Me too.... I keep checking to see what it is lol

 

[Johnnysan]

Read at your own risk.

Off-color humor has been a mainstay of every culture and every era. While I'm not certain that this joke would have made its way into mixed company in the Golden Age, it's pretty tame by todays standards.

So, at the risk of crossing the bartenders, and by popular demand, here goes...

A particular working man is in the habit of stopping by his favorite watering hole every night after finishing up his shift. He drinks enough beer to float a ship and all the while, sits at the bar eating peanuts, popcorn and anything else that the tavern owner has to offer. At closing time, he staggers home and crawls into bed next to his wife. Inevitably, the beer and all the rest catches up with him at about 6 am and he begins to pass the most loud and offensive gas. Every night it's the same...his wife lays next to him until she can stand no more, then pokes him in the ribs, gets up and leaves the room. And every time she says the same thing to him on the way out:

"One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out."

The problem continues for a many, many weeks. One day, the wife goes to the local butcher and buys a chicken. She takes the bird home, kills it, dresses it out for dinner and saves the entrails. Later that night, the husband comes home, completely smashed as usual and crawls into bed. Sure enough, at daybreak, he starts in with the loud gas. In disgust, the wife climbs out of bed and says in a very loud voice:

"One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out."

The husband grunts, rolls over and falls back asleep in a drunken stupor. The wife goes to the kitchen, gathers up the chicken entrails, goes back to the bedroom and, upon seeing that her husband is sound asleep, slips the entrails down the back of his undershorts.

Sometime later, she goes back to the bedroom to find her husband sitting on the edge of the bed, stone cold sober, pale and shaking.

"Honey" she asks "are you OK?"

The man shakes his head and replies...

"You told me it was gonna happen. You told me that one day I was gonna fart my guts out and sure enough, it happened. But, with the help of God and a long-handled toothbrush, I managed to get them all back in." ​

 

[AtomicEraTom]

HA! Someone actually just told me this joke, just no mention of a toothbrush!

 

[Shangas]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

That's hilarious!! I love it!

 

[rue]

:rofl:

HA! Someone actually just told me this joke, just no mention of a toothbrush!

Me too..... I didn't know it was that old.

 

[dhermann1]

That is so ill. lol
But really, I think there are a lot of jokes that are MUCH older than we realize.

 

[Shangas]

This reminds me of the popcorn joke from 'The Sting' for some reason.

 

[Phantomfixer]

That was agreat joke. Thanks for the laugh.

The Sting great movie, refresh my memory about the popcorn joke : )

 

[Sgt Brown]

Lord, in this day and age that was a church joke!

Tom

 

[Shangas]

That was agreat joke. Thanks for the laugh.

The Sting great movie, refresh my memory about the popcorn joke : )

A guy buys a live chicken which he intends to take home for his wife. On the way home, he sees a cinema showing a film he really wants to see. Deciding that nobody would complain if he smuggled an adorable chicken into the theatre, he stuffs it under his coat and heads in. He sits down and waits for the movie to start.

The lights go down and the projector starts rolling. He now decides that it's safe to let out the chicken. He unbuttons his coat and opens his fly to let the chicken breathe. Next to him, a woman complains to her friend...

"Mabel! The man next to me's got his fly open!"
"So? If you've seen one, you've seen them all...Just watch the movie..."
"Yeah, but this one's eating my popcorn!"

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

You made me snort my wine! Twice! I forgot the chicken joke. I have a feeling that some of these jokes have been floating around in one variation or another since before Claudius Maximus was telling jokes at the Forum Beer and Babes Bar.

That toothbrush joke is just in time for Father's Day. I'll see if my step-dad has heard it already