Jokes About Hats

[hatsRme]

Speaking of fox hats...
[video=youtube;kb0kiiB3O-o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb0kiiB3O-o[/video]

 

[hatsRme]

"Why is it his hat always looks so nice, and his coat looks so well, but his pants! They're just about the shabbiest I've ever seen.

You can't get pants in a restaurant..."

 

[Stanley Doble]

Have you heard the one about the man who gave a speech on the topic of sex, but told his wife it was about sailing?

The next day one of her friends told her how much she enjoyed her husband's talk.

She said "I don't know what he knows about it, he only tried it twice. The first time he was sick as a dog and the second time his hat blew off".

 

[hatsRme]

Attaboy, Mr. Doble!! Good one!

"His hats are made to order."
"I know, but not to his order."

 

[hatsRme]

We got a lot of snow last night... When looking out the window I saw a hat on top of the deep snow in the road, so I went out to fetch it. I picked up the hat, and there was a man under the snow, wearing it!

I replaced his hat and asked if he needed help to remove himself from the snow. He replied that if the horse beneath him would move, he would just ride out. Deep snow. DEEP.

 

[hatsRme]

Hats And Monkeys

There was once a hat-seller who passed by a forest on his way back from the market. The weather was very hot and so he decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.

A few hours later, he was woken up by some sounds. The next thing he realized was that all his hats were gone. He heard some monkeys on the tree and he looked up. To his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat-seller sat down and thought of how he could get the hats down. He thought and thought and started scratching his head. The next moment, he realized that the monkeys were doing the same action.

Next, he took down his own hat and saw the monkeys do exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too.

So he finally managed to get all his hats back. If you think you have read this before ..., read on!!!

Fifty years later, his grandson, Jack, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest, it was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and realized that the monkeys had taken all the hats.

He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Jack threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still hold on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said "You think only you have a grandfather ..." :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo: :yo:

 

[Lotsahats]

:eusa_clap I'd tell you to put a lid on it, but I'm enjoying these jokes too much!

 

[Short Balding Guy]

An older woman brought a picture of her deceased husband wearing a hat to a photographer. She asked if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. The photographer assured the woman he could do that and asked her what side her husband parted his hair on.

"I forgot," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take his hat off."

 

[hatsRme]

Touche, Eric! Good one!

Hats off to Alan for being the first to install a corduroy sweatband in a hat; he made headlines. Thank you for this one, sir.

 

[hatsRme]

Mystic's second day of jury duty photo conjured up memories of this classic hat-in-court scene...
[video=youtube;VIBIAIH9x_Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIBIAIH9x_Q[/video]

 

[fedoracentric]

It isn't exactly a stand alone joke, per se, but back in the day when someone had a particularly large hat, others might say, "Why don't you come out from under that hat. We know you're in there."

 

[hatsRme]

I like it, Fedoracentric! I immediately think of Joao.

 

[hatsRme]

Elderly Mr. Katz was sitting naked in his room, wearing only a top hat, when his neighbor Mr. Gillicuddy walks in.

"Why are you sitting here naked?"

"It's okay," says Mr. Katz. "Nobody comes to visit."

"But why the hat?"

"Well, maybe somebody will show up."

 

[Nobert]

I only know the gilded chestnut: "He's got a point, but his hat hides it."

 

[Joao Encarnado]

I like it, Fedoracentric! I immediately think of Joao.

Only saw this today.

 

[hatsRme]

From the "New Yorker" cartoon archives...

 

[Joao Encarnado]

Nice one!

 

[hatsRme]

You probably want to know where he bought that one, right Joao?!

 

[Joao Encarnado]

Maybe... I also wouldn't mind to try to work with cattle...

 

[hatsRme]

We ALL have bad hat days...?