Hats in restaurants

[danofarlington]

defense

I'm sure there's a thread about this somewhere. I just can't find it....[huh]

While out on a stroll tonight I saw this at a very nice gourmet restaurant in town. That's not very gentlemanly of him...

[/IMG]

Although I don't advocate wearing hats in restaurants, I have to say that is a good hat and it looks good on that guy. There is some mitigating factor if it works really well, politeness aside. Meantime, the grumblers can change the culture. Let me know when you accomplish it, and then I'll wear a hat in restaurants.

 

[Woodfluter]

I think this varies quite a bit with what part of a country we are talking about. It also varies with whether you are in a large city or a small town. ///

The unfortunate tendency in a forum like this is to take a narrow view of manners as if we all lived in the same city and culture. We don't even all live in the same country, folks.

The best you can do is be aware of what constitutes good manners where you live and try to be mannerly within the reality of that.

Trying to impose manners on others just isn't mannerly.

Mr Jim here speaks my mind too.

I do think Skyvue has a point though, and might try the experiment of asking if they have a place for hats and coats. See what happens.

Honda Enoch is also right about place and availability. I'm in Atlanta, and still no sign anywhere of hat or coat hooks in places you'd use. When I eat at Maggiano's I'm sure they'd accommodate any request like that without a blink, no matter how uncommon. But then on the other end of the scale is Waffle House. Sometimes you have to get your hash browns scattered and smothered with jalapenos, and you might as well leave your hat on - the guys at the counter with baseball caps do!

Here's another little side question. I usually follow traditional hat etiquette when possible. However, I notice that I feel less impelled to remove a cloth cap than a hat, especially if others are wearing some kind of cap indoors. Seems like I'm drawn toward following the current ethos - and isn't that what most folks did in the past? With somewhat different rules? Do any of you do the same?

One last bit - maybe someone can help me here. I was looking for a movie still that I probably saw at the lounge, seemed to be from the '30s, with a guy wearing a light colored felt and speaking ardently across the table to a woman in a classy restaurant. Came across innumerable bar scenes, many seemingly very upscale, where many men had their hats on, but that wasn't what I was looking for...maybe bars were different.

- Bill

 

[danofarlington]

I believe this thread might have just turned me back into a baseball cap guy.

I think the choice between baseball caps and fedoras is a basic style decision. Baseball caps are maximum casual--you can wear them anywhere. Even men with suits wear them as if to shout: "Look how casual and relaxed I am! I can even wear this hat with this suit! A more insecure man could never do that!" So you can run the gamut with a baseball cap. A fedora though is somewhat of a dressy thing. No fedoras with t-shirts look good. Wherever and however you decide to wear a fedora, there's no getting around its greater dressiness, even if you can also be casual with it. So, it's a choice of basic style.

 

[Woodfluter]

I think the choice between baseball caps and fedoras is a basic style decision. No fedoras with t-shirts look good.

I hear ya friend. But might point out a couple of things.

1. We tend to like what we remember seeing before in favorable situations. Back when fedoras were very widely worn (almost universally), men didn't wear t-shirts as exposed upper garments. That became common around the time hats were rapidly receding over the horizon. So no surprise that it doesn't look "right" somehow.

2. I've seen lots of pictures from the "golden era" with guys in very tattered or dirty clothes wearing fedoras. I don't think they thought all that much about this stuff then. You had a good hat, and if you were going to something sort of formal you wore that. If you were going fishing, you grabbed the other one.

Somewhere and sometime at the Lounge were posted pictures of guys wearing straw boaters with formal wear. How many of us nowadays would find that acceptable or think it looked good? Is there a possibility that we're overthinking some of this because hats seem a bit new or out of the norm?

I'm at the point where I wouldn't hesitate to wear some fedoras with a black t-shirt - anyway - just sayin'...

All the best,
- Bill

 

[scottyrocks]

No fedoras with t-shirts look good.

I completely disagree.

 

[AXL DEMOCRACY]

I wear tshirts with my fedoras on many occasions.

Then again, I don't have a "traditional" style and actually have a very "gypsy" style and also wear my fedora with a head scarf/bandana underneath sometimes. [huh]

 

[Mr E Train]

No fedoras with t-shirts look good.

Wrong. I got one word for you: ScottF.

 

[danofarlington]

Wrong. I got one word for you: ScottF.

OK, but that's unusual.

 

[donnc]

OK, but that's unusual.

So true - guys just don't wear hats that much any more.

 

[Tomasso]

I'll wear a straw with a t-shirt but somehow a felt seems incongruous. [huh]

 

[Pera.T]

A fedora though is somewhat of a dressy thing. No fedoras with t-shirts look good. Wherever and however you decide to wear a fedora, there's no getting around its greater dressiness, even if you can also be casual with it.

I also wear my hats with t-shirts, they go with formal or casual clothing.

I think it's weird that there are people on here that believe that you have to be wearing a suit 24/7 to wear a brimmed hat! If I'm going to the beach or doing something outside on a hot summers day I dont want to dress up to justify putting on a hat for sun protection [huh]

 

[Tiller]

I also wear my hats with t-shirts, they go with formal or casual clothing.

I think it's weird that there are people on here that believe that you have to be wearing a suit 24/7 to wear a brimmed hat! If I'm going to the beach or doing something outside on a hot summers day I dont want to dress up to justify putting on a hat for sun protection [huh]

For those of us who enjoy wearing suits, and dressing vintage it has nothing to do with wearing a hat. Although I'd say a felt hat looks best with a suit, and quite frankly odd with some t-shirts, especially the "funny" t-shirts. As the Chap says.

When you have progressed beyond fondling girls in the back seats of cinemas, you can stop wearing jeans. Wear fabrics appropriate to your age, and, who knows, you might even get a quick fumble in your box at the opera.

I only wear the t-shirt and jean combo now if I'm doing yard work. And if I'm at the beach I just wear sunblock and trunks, and go swimming.

 

[Shangas]

I'm rather conservative/old-fashioned/formal/traditional...WEIRD...in my wardrobe. I would never wear a brimmed hat (fedora, trilby, porkie etc) with a T-shirt, but on the other hand, I would see nothing wrong with wearing such a hat with a button-down shirt (long or short-sleeved) and trousers or shorts.

 

[skyvue]

I do think Skyvue has a point though, and might try the experiment of asking if they have a place for hats and coats. See what happens.

It's sometimes more a matter of asking if they can find a place for your hat (in my experience, they always can). They may not have a place that is already designated for hats, but a little quick thinking on their part (or mine) generally yields an appropriate spot.

For what it's worth, here's a passage on hat etiquette from a 1938 etiquette guide for young men. It probably won't alter anyone's stance here, as one can easily dismiss it as being out of date, if one wishes, but here it is.

Take off your hat when you meet a girl on the street. Keep it off while you are talking to her. (You shouldn't stop her to talk but should turn and walk with her in the direction she is going.) Lift your hat when you speak to someone on the street, or if the girl with you speaks to someone.

Take your hat off in the house or at the movies or in a cafe. In an elevator with ladies present, take it off if the elevator isn't too crowded. Leave your hat on in street cars, busses, department stores, and office buildings.

Off with it when you are being introduced! And off with it when you are calling on business folks in an office!​

 

[Tiller]

I'm not saying their aren't guys who can't pull off the fedora-t shirt look. I know I'm not one of them though lol.

Admittedly some hats are probably easier to wear dressed down, and I recall a guy around here in the past who could even wear a homburg with a t-shirt. and shorts and he looked good. Again though I know I am not such a person, and prefer my vintage style.

 

[Feraud]

I'm rather conservative/old-fashioned/formal/traditional...WEIRD...in my wardrobe. I would never wear a brimmed hat (fedora, trilby, porkie etc) with a T-shirt, but on the other hand, I would see nothing wrong with wearing such a hat with a button-down shirt (long or short-sleeved) and trousers or shorts.

You had better tell these trendsetters they've got it all wrong.

 

[suitedcboy]

If you don't think a fedora looks appropriate with a t-shirt then it will look that way if you wear it.
A well worn fedora and t-shirt looks cool to me on those who own that style.

I'm in my 50's and wear jeans a LOT. Khakis, chinos, gabardine, etc. dress pants really don't work too well for riding and training horses, shoeing horses, etc.
This is a big world and we don't all live in the city.

 

[Shangas]

You had better tell these trendsetters they've got it all wrong.

A bit bitey are we, Feraud?

I was just thinking that a fedora or other classic, brimmed hat (with the exception of a cowboy hat) lends itself better, in my opinion, to a more...*refined*...style of dressing. Baseball caps, beanies, cowboy hats and flat-caps, the more casual type of headwear, would go better with T-shirts.

 

[Feraud]

A bit bitey are we, Feraud?

I was just thinking that a fedora or other classic, brimmed hat (with the exception of a cowboy hat) lends itself better, in my opinion, to a more...*refined*...style of dressing. Baseball caps, beanies, cowboy hats and flat-caps, the more casual type of headwear, would go better with T-shirts.

Not bitey at all. Just trying to clarify misconceptions of what constitutes classic, vintage, old fashioned, etc.
Vintage ain't all champagne, tuxedos, and "so lovely to see you darling"...

You can be as old-fashioned in a t-shirt, jeans, boots, and a fedora as any stuffed shirt.

 

[Tiller]

Not bitey at all. Just trying to clarify misconceptions of what constitutes classic, vintage, old fashioned, etc.
Vintage ain't all champagne, tuxedos, and "so lovely to see you darling"...

You can be as old-fashioned in a t-shirt, jeans, boots, and a fedora as any stuffed shirt.

If by old fashion you mean attitude, then yes. If by old fashion you mean... old clothing styles then it's a bit harder to say that. I never saw my Depression era Grandfather wear a t-shirt. His younger Korean War/Vietnam war brother (and my only living great Uncle on that side) never wore them when he wore his civis, and even today he will only wear "button down" shirts.

My great Grandfathers on each side never wore them besides as undershirt (although they wore long underwear most days as I understand it). One of my great Grandfathers always wore a suit jacket top, even when he was working out on the farm. He may have been one of the first who wore the jacket top, blue jeans/overall bottoms combo, and of course always topped off with a hat. I have one picture of my Great Grandfather (not that Jacket-Jeans one) fishing in a suit in the 1920s lol. If you are a full vintage guy t-shirt and jeans isn't your daily wear.

With that said I know plenty of people are here because they only like hats/bomber jackets/ whatever, and some who don't care for us ahem "stuffed shirts".