Funeral arrangements

[CharlieH.]

Just stand me up in a corner somewhere. I guarantee that inside of a week,
somebody will be along to take care of me.

 

[HadleyH]

CharlieH,... lol lol lol That's great!!!!!!! Better leave it there...

 

[CanadaDoll]

Wow, none of these options are too appealing!
I'll just live forever thanks!lol




(I'll have to think about it for a couple more years)

 

[CharlieH.]

I'll just live forever thanks!lol

Great! That means you can make sure our final wishes are fulfilled!

 

[Viola]

lol lol lol You've made my day!!! It's horrible but it's funny in a black comedy sort of way!!!! And what happens if nobody picks you up, indyjim??

I would credit the comedienne who said this if I could remember her name: "I always tell old people, you don't need to be saving money for your funeral! SOMEBODY will bury you - and I'll tell ya why - SOCIETY FROWNS ON A ROTTING CORPSE!"

-Viola

 

[CanadaDoll]

Great! That means you can make sure our final wishes are fulfilled!

Will do Charlie dear, will do.lol lol

 

[Cousin Hepcat]

Would anyone care to sit next to a bronzed corpse above ground?

:eusa_clap lol :eusa_clap You could make it say one of six randomly selected phrases in a booming voice when someone sits down: "Have a seat, friend!", and "So, how's the weather out there?!"

(prefer to think I've got a while before having to think seriously about this)

"Don't be a litterbug!"

 

[scotrace]

Would anyone care to sit next to a bronzed corpse above ground?

OK, I've looked and looked at this. At the great risk of being sucked in... that isn't -- really -- that... is it???

 

[Twitch]

I am a donor also, forgot to mention. Nice to see how many have thought about that. My step Dad left his body to a university. Took nearly 2 years before they sent Mom the cremated remains. No cost fact there. When it was Mom's time it was $2000 for cremation and mortuary services required to handle all that.

Have we left out cryogenic freezing as an option?

 

[GeniusInTheLamp]

It's simple but traditional for me.

Provided I die in one piece, put me in my best 3-piece suit, pressed white shirt with the best cufflinks, and an appropriate tie. Start with a brief viewing with Allegri's "Miserere" and Vaughan Williams' "Fantasia On a Theme By Thomas Tallis" in the background. (Those are the two most beautiful pieces of music I know.) Then the service, with a nice eulogy and a couple of hymns appropriate for the occasion. Then drive me to my hometown cemetery and bury me next to my great-grandparents. (There are two vacant plots next to them; my grandmother owns them, but she is going to be buried with my grandfather in another part of the cemetery, and the plots on either side of them are taken.) I would also like a prominent and durable stone with my name and vital dates.

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

:eusa_clap lol :eusa_clap You could make it say one of six randomly selected phrases in a booming voice when someone sits down: "Have a seat, friend!", and "So, how's the weather out there?!"

(prefer to think I've got a while before having to think seriously about this)

"Don't be a litterbug!"

I have to write that down.

"Get that newspaper off of my lap or I'm calling the cops!"

I could be singing too...

I'd also be wearing a hat.

OK, I've looked and looked at this. At the great risk of being sucked in... that isn't -- really -- that... is it???

Yes, that is it. I'd like a little company above ground if you don't mind.

and if any person starts picking my nose, if you're around that area, just tell them, "you know that guy's corpse is inside of there don't ya?"

I only hope they don't remove me...

 

[Lady Day]

I want a Jazz funeral. My death should warrant a parade.

There is a neighborhood cemetery beside my church where most of my family is buried. Its a few hundred years old, so I guess Ill go back home. But I want what is called a 'natural' burial. No embalming, or casket, but me in the ground with a nice headstone. Ill have to look into that further.


LD

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

I want a Jazz funeral. My death should warrant a parade.

There is a neighborhood cemetery beside my church where most of my family is buried. Its a few hundred years old, so I guess Ill go back home. But I want what is called a 'natural' burial. No embalming, or casket, but me in the ground with a nice headstone. Ill have to look into that further.


LD

that sounds like a very nice one. Will you have any particular jazz band play at your funeral? Any special guests? Requests? Maybe some Billie Holiday playing?

It's simple but traditional for me.

Provided I die in one piece, put me in my best 3-piece suit, pressed white shirt with the best cufflinks, and an appropriate tie. Start with a brief viewing with Allegri's "Miserere" and Vaughan Williams' "Fantasia On a Theme By Thomas Tallis" in the background. (Those are the two most beautiful pieces of music I know.) Then the service, with a nice eulogy and a couple of hymns appropriate for the occasion. Then drive me to my hometown cemetery and bury me next to my great-grandparents. (There are two vacant plots next to them; my grandmother owns them, but she is going to be buried with my grandfather in another part of the cemetery, and the plots on either side of them are taken.) I would also like a prominent and durable stone with my name and vital dates.

That also sounds very nice. There is nothing like a traditional funeral with no extravagant additions to it.

 

[Lincsong]

fftopic: But do other people notice that whenever there is a large funeral with a motorcade of say 1/4 to 1/2 a mile long (or say 70 cars) and there's a couple motorcycle escorts directing traffic, why is there one or two people who attempt to stop at the red light or stop sign when the motorcycle escort is directing everyone through????????:eusa_doh:

 

[K.D. Lightner]

Probably reflex action....

Sounds like the same sort of dumb thing I might do.

karol

 

[Miss Match]

What really gets me is when other cars take the opportunity presented by a pause in the procession to CUT IN!

No no no no no. That's just creepy.

As for me, after organ donations I want to be cremated. And I don't want this to happen for a LONG LONG TIME.

 

[Lincsong]

My parents went to a funeral of a friend from Hawaii. The deceased had a closed casket with an ukulele on top. At the graveside three people played Aloha Oe on the ukulele while another lady sang the song.

 

[Jovan]

What really gets me is when other cars take the opportunity presented by a pause in the procession to CUT IN!

No no no no no. That's just creepy.

As for me, after organ donations I want to be cremated. And I don't want this to happen for a LONG LONG TIME.

Are we twins or something? I was thinking the exact same thing!

 

[Harp]

To be buried by The Old Guard, Third Infantry Regiment
at Arlington National Cemetery. A rifle volley salute, taps played,
and the honor detail receives a keg of beer back at the barracks,
and college scholarship assistance from my estate.

 

[Emmababy]

I don't want to be a donor. I guess i want to be cremated. I want tons of people there all in black, with veils and smudged mascara and lilies and lots of crying.
I would like these songs played

George Harrison - My Sweet Lord
Jazz Hall Preservation Band - St James Infirmary
Neutral Milk Hotel - Oh Comely
British Sea Power - Lately

the last 2 are epic songs that last for ages and will piss people off. I want someone to break down into howling bitter tears when my coffin is lowered.