Dapper Gal: A Reader-Driven Story

[fedorafreak413]

As a sort of spiritual successor to Dapper Man, I give you Dapper Gal!

This is a reader driven story. Post what you think the character should do and we'll create the plot together!

Your name is MARTHA DEEN.

You are currently on the set of your cooking show, COOK TIME, In the middle of crafting a delictible PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH. It's fast, easy, and kids love it! A great choice for all you busy moms out there. The peanut butter and jelly have already been applied, but you're about to add ONE MORE INGREDIENT to really make the dish pop!

What will you add?

 

[thegnarlydude]

Pickles!

 

[HudsonHawk]

Hemlock.

 

[vitanola]

A thin slice of Guy Fieri's heart.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

add ONE MORE INGREDIENT to really make the dish pop!

What will you add?

A few drops of nitroglycerine.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Then deep fry to a golden brown and serve with a side of sauerkraut.

 

[fedorafreak413]

Today we'll be adding HEMLOCK to our dish to really put the DEATH in our PEANUT BUTTER AND DEA- wait I mean...

We're going to really put the NUT BUTT in our PEANUT BUTTER- no that's stupid.

We're going to really put the horrifyingly deadly plant into the sandwich we're making. Really. It's happening. Just watch.

If you don't have access to any HEMLOCK, you can substitute it with something equally poisonous, like nitroglycerin, Guy Fieri's wicked heart, or *gasp* sauerkraut!

Or, if you don't have the license, safety equipment, or access to fat celebrities to get any of that garbage, you can use COOK TIME TOGO™ pickles!

Now on sale for the UNBELIEVABLE price of $12.99!!!!!(per pickle)!!!!

And you're done!! Just deep fry for a minimum of four hours and serve with a smile!

What's next?

 

[Mr. Pickett]

How to create a quick any easy chocolate cake without using real chocolate.

 

[dnjan]

What about horseradish?
Freshly-grated.
Guaranteed to add emotion (or at the least, tears)