- Messages
- 19,465
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
What do you call a duck with a book?
A duck.
A duck.
-
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Clean Jokes
- Thread starter jamespowers
- Start date
- Status
Zachary
One of the Regulars
- Messages
- 167
- Location
- Vienna, Austria
What does an Octopus wear in the winter?
A coat of arms.
A coat of arms.
Zachary
One of the Regulars
- Messages
- 167
- Location
- Vienna, Austria
Donald Trump invites Vladimir Putin and Angela Merkel to his resort in Mar-a-Lago.
He proudly presents his newest acquisition to his guests: A magical swimming pool. Whatever you wish, it will be filled up with.
First, Trump climbs up the stairs to the diving platform. He takes a run, jumps from the platform, yells: "Whiskey!", dives into, and gets tanked up.
Then, Putin tries out the magical pool. He climbs up, takes a run, jumps from the platform, yells: "Vodka!", dives into, and gets tanked up.
Finally, it's Angela Merkel's turn. She climbs up the stairs, takes a run, stumbles, slips, and yells: "Shit!"
He proudly presents his newest acquisition to his guests: A magical swimming pool. Whatever you wish, it will be filled up with.
First, Trump climbs up the stairs to the diving platform. He takes a run, jumps from the platform, yells: "Whiskey!", dives into, and gets tanked up.
Then, Putin tries out the magical pool. He climbs up, takes a run, jumps from the platform, yells: "Vodka!", dives into, and gets tanked up.
Finally, it's Angela Merkel's turn. She climbs up the stairs, takes a run, stumbles, slips, and yells: "Shit!"
- Messages
- 19,465
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
Young lady gets into an Uber driven by a young man...
Young Lady: I'm going to Tony's up on Ludlow - 416 Ludlow.
Young Man: Would you mind if I turned on some music?
YL: Oh, no, please go right ahead.
YM: KISS?
YL: Let's listen to a little music first and see how we feel, K?
Young Lady: I'm going to Tony's up on Ludlow - 416 Ludlow.
Young Man: Would you mind if I turned on some music?
YL: Oh, no, please go right ahead.
YM: KISS?
YL: Let's listen to a little music first and see how we feel, K?
Benny Holiday
My Mail is Forwarded Here
- Messages
- 3,808
- Location
- Sydney Australia
I went to a positive thinking course today.
It was crap.
I knew it would be . . .
It was crap.
I knew it would be . . .
LostInTyme
Practically Family
- Messages
- 541
I attended the same course, only twice.
I had thought it really couldn't be THAT bad.
Turns out, I was wrong.
I had thought it really couldn't be THAT bad.
Turns out, I was wrong.
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LostInTyme
Practically Family
- Messages
- 541
Oops, I think I may know some of these people.
LostInTyme
Practically Family
- Messages
- 541
Two Mafia hit-men walk into the woods on a dark night. After a while one of them says,
"It's so dark in here I have to admit it's scary."
The second hit-man replies,
"You're scared, what about me...I gotta walk out of here alone!"
"It's so dark in here I have to admit it's scary."
The second hit-man replies,
"You're scared, what about me...I gotta walk out of here alone!"
- Messages
- 13,021
- Location
- Germany
Children joke:
What german fair a donkey likes the most?
The IAA, of course!
What german fair a donkey likes the most?
The IAA, of course!
LostInTyme
Practically Family
- Messages
- 541
Has anyone, besides a surfer, been "stoked"?
LostInTyme
Practically Family
- Messages
- 541
- Messages
- 14,878
- Messages
- 13,021
- Location
- Germany
Black humor:
Two old comrades meet on the street.
"Hey buddy, if haven't see you in a long time!"
"Hey, what's up, bro!!"
"But tell me, why you´re grinning so much??"
"You know, yesterday, I had some trouble with my girlfriend. At the end, I was so pissed, that I took away her wheelchair! And guess, who came whining, again."
Two old comrades meet on the street.
"Hey buddy, if haven't see you in a long time!"
"Hey, what's up, bro!!"
"But tell me, why you´re grinning so much??"
"You know, yesterday, I had some trouble with my girlfriend. At the end, I was so pissed, that I took away her wheelchair! And guess, who came whining, again."
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LostInTyme
Practically Family
- Messages
- 541
Beware of suspicious-looking butterflies.
They could be mini drones with cameras.
They could be mini drones with cameras.
- Status
