All You Need to Know About Hat Etiquette

[flylot74]

Not quite off topic, but.....

One Friday a month I attend "steak night" at a local American Legion Post accompanying my wife and her mother. I am known for my fedoras and upon entering I will place my hat on the juke box, not having a convenient place to hang it. I have commented that if I ever find a standing hat rack I shall purchase it for the hall.

Yet others (some cowboy though mostly baseball or truckers caps) continue to wear their hats dining. I find this most objectionable and curious that no one takes the hint. All these guys are ex-military and know better. I am still looking for that standing hat rack.

 

[facade]

Thanks Puzzicato.





Sorry about the generalization, just didn't think it was necessary to use the proper term, which is longer, but in this case Puzzicato is right and the position I'm talking about is actually Executive Assistant.

So do you agree with Puzzicato that it would be ok to leave it on, in both situations, with the EA and with the employee room?

I find this quite interesting. There is in fact nothing proper with the term "administrative assistant". Its existance is actually an anathema to the very spirit of this thread. Old school hat etiquette is about social graces and is very gender specific. In hat etiquette, women are treated very differently then men. The term "administrative assistant" is born from a mannerless PC society seeking gender neutrality. It comes from an attempt to expunge gender specific terms from the language. Following proper hat etiquette is in and of itself rejecting the PC gender-neutral dogma.

Obviously at work you usually have to abide by someones elses code of conduct. Outside of work you can live by your own. I choose to reject the term "administrative assistant" and all it stands for.

 

[Zombie_61]

Not quite off topic, but.....

One Friday a month I attend "steak night" at a local American Legion Post accompanying my wife and her mother. I am known for my fedoras and upon entering I will place my hat on the juke box, not having a convenient place to hang it. I have commented that if I ever find a standing hat rack I shall purchase it for the hall.

Yet others (some cowboy though mostly baseball or truckers caps) continue to wear their hats dining. I find this most objectionable and curious that no one takes the hint. All these guys are ex-military and know better. I am still looking for that standing hat rack.

I see this all the time here in southern California, usually among the baseball-cap-wearing crowd. It's generally younger children, teenagers, and twenty-somethings who think they're "too cool for the room", but I often see men who are old enough to at least be aware of hat etiquette think nothing of plopping themselves down to put on the feedbag without even the slightest thought of removing their hats. Even a very good friend of mine, a man I've known more than 35 years who is only six months younger than I am, openly expresses his displeasure when I doff my hat upon entering a restaurant (or other such establishment where hat etiquette should be observed) forcing him to do so as well. [huh]

I sincerely believe most people are of the opinion that hat etiquette is "a thing of the past", something that no longer needs to be adhered to. And I'm starting to wonder if maybe they're right. After all, etiquette is essentially a societal behavior and, if society no longer demands it, perhaps it is becoming an outdated behavior like bowing or kissing a lady's hand. Until the day comes when that is a foregone conclusion, however, I will continue to remove my hat whenever I see fit to do so.

 

[facade]

I see this all the time here in southern California, usually among the baseball-cap-wearing crowd. It's generally younger children, teenagers, and twenty-somethings who think they're "too cool for the room", but I often see men who are old enough to at least be aware of hat etiquette think nothing of plopping themselves down to put on the feedbag without even the slightest thought of removing their hats. Even a very good friend of mine, a man I've known more than 35 years who is only six months younger than I am, openly expresses his displeasure when I doff my hat upon entering a restaurant (or other such establishment where hat etiquette should be observed) forcing him to do so as well. [huh]

I sincerely believe most people are of the opinion that hat etiquette is "a thing of the past", something that no longer needs to be adhered to. And I'm starting to wonder if maybe they're right. After all, etiquette is essentially a societal behavior and, if society no longer demands it, perhaps it is becoming an outdated behavior like bowing or kissing a lady's hand. Until the day comes when that is a foregone conclusion, however, I will continue to remove my hat whenever I see fit to do so.

One could argue that all good manners are outdated in American society.

I tend to view etiquette and manners not as a demand but rather as a common language. To quote Blast from the Past; "good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them". By establishing rules of etiquette you are creating a common language that allows people to communicate respect for each other. Without common mannerisms the message can get lost or misinterpreted. Sadly there no longer is a common language of respect.

Does this mean one should give up? I don't think so. But one will have to endure those who don't "speak" the language and others who misinterpret what one is "saying".

 

[cptjeff]

One could argue that all good manners are outdated in American society.

I tend to view etiquette and manners not as a demand but rather as a common language. To quote Blast from the Past; "good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them". By establishing rules of etiquette you are creating a common language that allows people to communicate respect for each other. Without common mannerisms the message can get lost or misinterpreted. Sadly there no longer is a common language of respect.

Does this mean one should give up? I don't think so. But one will have to endure those who don't "speak" the language and others who misinterpret what one is "saying".

What constitutes good manners is not ordained by God. In fact, quite a few religions say that God says that you should have a hat on your head at all times. Including the Christian scriptures, though that rule was ignored and reversed to differentiate Christians from jews early on.

Good manners are not outdated and never will be. There are quite a few rude people yes, but there are still some very well mannered people. It's just that the exact set of rule that constitutes good manners is changing. It seems to be less about the ritual and more about the substance these days- yacking on your phone at the table doesn't violate any of the old rituals, because they couldn't anticipate it. But is it rude? Hell yes. And is it much more intrusive then somebody wearing a hat or not? Hell yes.

Manners are still around. The old rules are not.

 

[Mr Vim]

I follow a certain rule when I am wearing my hat.

When indoors, I don't wear my hat because then I feel like the people who are capitalizing on hats being popular who wear their hat everywhere as if to say "look at me I'm wearing a hat... I'm trendy."

 

[AlterEgo]

Help settle a disagreement between my mother and me.

Situation - The house across the street was for sale, and there was an open house one Sunday afternoon in mid-winter when it was cold with snow flurries. As such, the owners were gone, and the real estate agent was there, along with quite a few lookers.

My position - Upon entering, it occured to me what to do with my hat and coat. I decided to keep them on for the following reasons:

It was an impersonal visit to view a house for sale, as opposed to a personal call with the residents. The agent, with whom I shook hands after removing my gloves, did not offer to take my hat and coat. Practically speaking, given the frequent comings and goings of lookers, it would have been difficult if not impossible for him to attend to that task by himself. Since both the front, rear, and side doors were opened so often, it was cool and drafty enough inside to warrant keeping at least the coat on, plus some of us went back outside to look at the back yard and deck. Lookers kept on the move and never sat down. The place was spotless and perfect orderly inside, so even laying coats/hats neatly on the bed or other furniture would still have imparted a messy appearance, especially if all lookers did that. There was no "cloak room" or closet in which to hang coats near the entry door.

My mother's position - It is a home, and one always removes hat and coat upon entering, period. If nothing else was readily available, I could have simply taken my hat and coat off and carried them around until I left.

What do y'all think? Would it make any difference if the weather was glorious and I was the only looker present?

 

[Lefty]

Rule #1:

Your mom wins. Always.

 

[danofarlington]

Help settle a disagreement between my mother and me.

Situation - The house across the street was for sale, and there was an open house one Sunday afternoon in mid-winter when it was cold with snow flurries. As such, the owners were gone, and the real estate agent was there, along with quite a few lookers.

My position - Upon entering, it occured to me what to do with my hat and coat. I decided to keep them on for the following reasons:

It was an impersonal visit to view a house for sale, as opposed to a personal call with the residents. The agent, with whom I shook hands after removing my gloves, did not offer to take my hat and coat. Practically speaking, given the frequent comings and goings of lookers, it would have been difficult if not impossible for him to attend to that task by himself. Since both the front, rear, and side doors were opened so often, it was cool and drafty enough inside to warrant keeping at least the coat on, plus some of us went back outside to look at the back yard and deck. Lookers kept on the move and never sat down. The place was spotless and perfect orderly inside, so even laying coats/hats neatly on the bed or other furniture would still have imparted a messy appearance, especially if all lookers did that. There was no "cloak room" or closet in which to hang coats near the entry door.

My mother's position - It is a home, and one always removes hat and coat upon entering, period. If nothing else was readily available, I could have simply taken my hat and coat off and carried them around until I left.

What do y'all think? Would it make any difference if the weather was glorious and I was the only looker present?

I'm with you. Owners gone, hat stays on. Who would you have been honoring, the real estate agent? I guess you could've taken it off if you happened to pass the portrait of the owner, but otherwise, no deference was necessary.

 

[Boxytheboxed]

Rule #1:

Your mom wins. Always.

Agreed.
I think the hat might seem rude, it is a home; but if it is chilly the coat seems fine to me. You shouldn't have to be cold because of etiquette.

 

[handlebar bart]

It's just a hat[huh]

 

[Pompidou]

One could argue that all good manners are outdated in American society.

I tend to view etiquette and manners not as a demand but rather as a common language. To quote Blast from the Past; "good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them". By establishing rules of etiquette you are creating a common language that allows people to communicate respect for each other. Without common mannerisms the message can get lost or misinterpreted. Sadly there no longer is a common language of respect.

Does this mean one should give up? I don't think so. But one will have to endure those who don't "speak" the language and others who misinterpret what one is "saying".

I don't know that good manners are outdated, so much that good manners have changed. I mean, thinking about the things we consider good manners, they are pretty arbitrary. Take your hat off here, tip it a little bit there, lift it a little bit - it's okay to leave it on in circumstance X, but never Y, and sometimes Z if... Can you imagine so many silly rules for wearing underwear? Times are changing, but I'd be hard pressed to say it's all for the worst. Besides, people always say that constantly grabbing your hat deforms it. I think just being able to put it on and leave the juggling act back in the 50s is a good thing.

 

[AlterEgo]

Can you imagine so many silly rules for wearing underwear? Times are changing...

Still wearing underclothes, eh? That's soooo 90s!

 

[danofarlington]

I don't know that good manners are outdated, so much that good manners have changed. I mean, thinking about the things we consider good manners, they are pretty arbitrary. Take your hat off here, tip it a little bit there, lift it a little bit - it's okay to leave it on in circumstance X, but never Y, and sometimes Z if... Can you imagine so many silly rules for wearing underwear? Times are changing, but I'd be hard pressed to say it's all for the worst. Besides, people always say that constantly grabbing your hat deforms it. I think just being able to put it on and leave the juggling act back in the 50s is a good thing.

What you said before about hat rules dying with hat use rings true to me in the main. Myself, I take off hat in restaurants, concerts, plays and church, thinking they are sort of basic rules, right or wrong; other buildings fair game for hats. I'll tell you what, I've got my feet up, hands clasped behind my head, I'm going to let you guys sort out what is allowable and what isn't, wait a few years for it to filter through into society, and then try to fit into it. I personally don't care what the rules are, but it's not a battle I want to fight. So, have at it!

 

[Edward]

Rule #1:

Your mom wins. Always.

Mother? You've discovered the Lounge??

 

[Wally_Hood]

(If this has been posted already, please excuse me)

Bear Bryant, coaching his team in the Bluebonnet Bowl, held in the Astro Dome, appeared without his trademark houndstooth hat. When asked why, he said, "You don't wear your hat in the house."

 

[BanjoMerlin]

I still mostly follow the rules I learned in the Navy. Outdoors, cover on. Indoors, cover off - unless you are on duty.

This moves the gray area to the definitions of indoors and outdoors. Passageways in a shopping mall are outdoors. Stores are indoors. Large buildings where the ceiling is 20 feet high or more can be considered outdoors unless it is a church. What to do in a church depends on whose church it is, do whatever is correct for that church.

If there is no place to put your hat, carry it. If you know there won't be a place to put your hat and you don't want to carry it, leave it in the car.

 

[danofarlington]

If there is no place to put your hat, carry it. If you know there won't be a place to put your hat and you don't want to carry it, leave it in the car.

One thing to worry about is putting your hat on a hatrack in a public place. My beaver Borsalino was stolen off the hatrack at my church during a Saturday morning indoor flea market. I felt dumb. Then three months later, it mysteriously reappeared on the same hatrack. Anyway, I never leave a good hat anymore on a public hatrack.

 

[AlterEgo]

One thing to worry about is putting your hat on a hatrack in a public place. My beaver Borsalino was stolen off the hatrack at my church during a Saturday morning indoor flea market. I felt dumb. Then three months later, it mysteriously reappeared on the same hatrack. Anyway, I never leave a good hat anymore on a public hatrack.

I forget who came up with this, maybe the Monty Python guys, but the joke was that there were originally 20 Commandments on two stone tablets, but on his way down Mt. Ararat, Moses dropped one, dashing it to smithereens and thereby losing half of God's laws.

I'm thinking the person who got your expensive Borsa faithfully followed the 8th Commandment, "Thou shalt not steal," yet you would have certainly been spared a lot of stress had he known and abided by the 18th Commandment, "Thou shalt not borrow for extended periods of time."

 

[danofarlington]

I forget who came up with this, maybe the Monty Python guys, but the joke was that there were originally 20 Commandments on two stone tablets, but on his way down Mt. Ararat, Moses dropped one, dashing it to smithereens and thereby losing half of God's laws.

I'm thinking the person who got your expensive Borsa faithfully followed the 8th Commandment, "Thou shalt not steal," yet you would have certainly been spared a lot of stress had he known and abided by the 18th Commandment, "Thou shalt not borrow for extended periods of time."

lol