Aging beautifully and gracefully, then vs now: Who did it better?

[Yeps]

It's a shame that men are allowed to age...if 'aging' means letting oneself go, and becoming a lethargic tub of lard.

Nope. The main requirement is continued activity and physical fitness. Gray hair and wrinkles, on the other hand...

 

[sheeplady]

I will dye my hair when I go totally gray. I want a purple stripe- the kind of dark purple that will offset my white/gray/dark gray strands beautifully. I will miss my hair color (I love my hair color very much) but I've never seen anything that comes close to it out of a bottle. I might consider henna-ing it or something, but I'm even hesitant to do that because it won't be my color. I will rock the purple stripe.

I also want to get a tattoo (actually several) in mid-life or when I get older. Sometimes I think "Oh, I'd like to get that for my 60th birthday" but at other times I think "Wouldn't it be nice to get it in my forties or fifties?" I thought about getting one when I turned 30, but that day came and went and no tattoo, so I might be 60 when I get it. I've also considered getting more piercings at that point as well (right now my ears are pierced once in each ear). Right now I have my mind on two tattoos that I want, and I'm considering a third.

I can't see myself getting any work done. I really hate doctors and I've never had surgery (knock on wood). Put the two together and right now that seems like an impossibility.

I'm a gerontologist by training. My views on aging are a little... different than most of the population. Some of the most beautiful people I know are over 60 or 70 or 80. I want to look like they do, and they are natural beauties.

 

[Undertow]

If there's one thing (of so many) I can't stand, it's hearing about old men getting boners on a schedule and chasing their wives around.

If that's your life, fine; but good god man, don't broadcast it.

If I had my way, I'd melt the Viagra commercial reels down into rubber bands. Those blue rubber bands would do the same trick, cost less and we could finally stop hearing about it on Sunday night while the whole family is huddled around the set.

 

[filfoster]

Upkeep, meet Viagra.

Point...Mr. Roerich!

 

[filfoster]

If there's one thing (of so many) I can't stand, it's hearing about old men getting boners on a schedule and chasing their wives around.

If that's your life, fine; but good god man, don't broadcast it.

If I had my way, I'd melt the Viagra commercial reels down into rubber bands. Those blue rubber bands would do the same trick, cost less and we could finally stop hearing about it on Sunday night while the whole family is huddled around the set.

Amen, brother. My recently deceased mother (93) had a cure for this that involved a Lorena Bobbit-like solution.
Me? I think a good Cable TV hookup, maybe a good sports package, and control of the remote (I can't seem to get it away from Mrs. F, who insists on endless Big Bang Theory), is enough to obviate this middle-old age sex craze.

 

[LizzieMaine]

A good eight-hour shift in a manufacturing plant used to take care of that problem for previous generations.

 

[randooch]

A good eight-hour shift in a manufacturing plant used to take care of that problem for previous generations.

lol Or maybe ten or twelve . . .

 

[LizzieMaine]

If there's one thing (of so many) I can't stand, it's hearing about old men getting boners on a schedule and chasing their wives around.

You've got to hand it to the Boys From Marketing, they know how to cut right to the most basic of their target's insecurities. They used to be all subtle, putting lumpy protrusions and thrusting hood ornaments on Buicks. Today, though, they don't need any of that Freudian nonsense -- they just go straight for the gusto.

 

[Stanley Doble]

Up until maybe the 1970s, not sure when it really started, women generally looked their age. By that I mean they weren't dying their hair in the numbers we see today, faces weren't puffed up with Botox and Collegen and plastic surgery wasn't as rampant. While oppressive and unfair it seemed to be generally regarded that a woman of a certain age was washed up and no longer sexy. Having said that, when I look at old photos and footage of aging people, I see more grays and less of the 45-is-the-new-12 look, but I also see a generally better looking population!

I know it's a personal opinion, but to me, most of the artifice of today beyond hair coloring is blatantly such and doesn't make one look more youthful. To me it looks fake, desperate and inelegant.

I am not stating that all "work" on one's face is a bad thing or always looks terrible. It's just that we are now a culture of Frankenfake faces and I don't like it.

What are your thoughts? Will you get "work" done to fight the face of aging?

Washed up and no longer sexy is putting it rather strong. Until the sixties respectable women weren't supposed to be "sexy" in the sense of dressing like a prostitute.

It may be hard to believe but at one time people longed to be OLDER than they were. Children longed to be grown up, teenagers longed to finish school and able to get a job be independent. Young men and women longed to be married and have a home and children of their own. Young married people longed for the success, financial position gravity and respect the older generation had.

Professor Linus Pauling spoke of this. He was criticized for his efforts to find ways to prolong human life. His critics asked, what is the use of living longer into a decrepit old age? Assuming that only the years of youth have value.

Pauling responded that his own young years were years of poverty, struggle, insecurity, obscurity, and endless work for doubtful rewards. His mature years were years of achievement, success, esteem, and financial security. He felt youth was a disagreeable time to be outgrown as soon as possible. He felt anything that prolonged those years of maturity and staved off the inevitable physical and mental deterioration of old age, was a blessing worth searching for.

He was born about 1900 and I believe his thinking was in line with a lot of people of his generation.

 

[sheeplady]

Professor Linus Pauling spoke of this. He was criticized for his efforts to find ways to prolong human life. His critics asked, what is the use of living longer into a decrepit old age? Assuming that only the years of youth have value.

Pauling responded that his own young years were years of poverty, struggle, insecurity, obscurity, and endless work for doubtful rewards. His mature years were years of achievement, success, esteem, and financial security. He felt youth was a disagreeable time to be outgrown as soon as possible. He felt anything that prolonged those years of maturity and staved off the inevitable physical and mental deterioration of old age, was a blessing worth searching for.

He was born about 1900 and I believe his thinking was in line with a lot of people of his generation.

There's a concern that much gerontological and geriatric research has focused on life-extending rather than life-enriching. There's a fine line, ideally we want both. A lot of life-extending research actually focuses on "anti-aging"; which in itself is not age-positive. Focusing on extending life from the perspective of "preventing aging" rather than "embracing aging" is ageist. We can't really prevent aging for everyone, it's a fact of life. Much of anti-aging research also gives very little to the people who pay the price of being participants in the research- future generations benefit but not those who pay the research price.

I think you're getting at the same thing. You can be age positive and want to live a long time, but unfortunately many researchers go at it with the perspective that we want to "prevent aging" because aging is bad, rather than seeing aging as good but often plagued with issues that if we could fix, could make people a lot happier in their older age.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Washed up and no longer sexy is putting it rather strong.

Those aren't my words as far as how I define it; I was using the terms offered by mainstream culture.

 

[countryclubjoe]

Age has not withered her. A true beauty at any age.

I feel the key to beauty is trying to live a streess free life and aging gracefully. The second you start feeling old, you then in fact start looking old in the mirror. Your mirror, then you get stressed, then you look old. If you stress about your looks then old is in the mirror. Your MIRROR.

Best regards
CCJ

 

[fortworthgal]

I generally believe in aging gracefully. That said, I do color my hair, and have for years. I am a natural redhead, but started going gray at a *very* early age, and was quite self-conscious about it. I got in the habit of coloring, and I'll admit it is fun to go lighter in the summer, darker in the winter, etc. I don't see myself with a blazing head of auburn hair when I'm 70, though. :laugh: I'll admit that I also like my anti-aging skincare serums and creams, but don't ever see myself having "work" done. I am personally opposed to botox and other injections, and I don't care for the current "Real Housewives" fad of dressing (and behaving) like you're 22 when you're 52. I recall a recent article on CNN about moms in their 30s and 40s trying to recapture their youth by dressing young, going out to clubs, and getting drunk. Sigh. I guess I just don't understand what is so terrible about getting older.

I don't have a problem with doing some things to counteract the effects of aging - creams/serums, haircolor, exercise, diet - but when it is a desperate attempt to cling to one's youth a la Demi Moore, that's a sign of a larger issue.

I think that the big difference is that men are allowed to age. The culture wants its women to look young, but men can get better with age.

ITA.

According to modern society and the media, it isn't acceptable for women to be:
A. Anything over a size 2
B. Not back to a size 2 within 15 minutes after giving birth
C. Over the age of 24

 

[MissMittens]

Firstly, apologies for poking my head in the ladies' forum, but fortworthgal is right. Media portrayals of women are horrendous.
A woman should have curves, a figure, and some life experience behind her After all, a girl doesn't become a woman until she's grown up.

 

[kiwilrdg]

I think the current ideas that only young girls are attractive is terrible. It encourages men to be predators and girls to be nothing more than objects.

The young ladies styles of the 40s were similar to the styles for women. Both could be worn by the other group without looking foolish.

 

[sheeplady]

I recall a recent article on CNN about moms in their 30s and 40s trying to recapture their youth by dressing young, going out to clubs, and getting drunk. Sigh. I guess I just don't understand what is so terrible about getting older.

I didn't enjoy going out to clubs in my 20s and getting drunk. (Ok, tipsy yes. Parties, yes.) So I'm not sure what I should do now. lol I still enjoy a good party and a good drink.

But, I'm in my 30s and still consider myself young. I don't get how being 30 or 39 isn't young. If I live to 80, I wouldn't even be halfway there yet at 39. That's still young in my book- it is certainly not middle aged or some other nonsense.

 

[Paul Roerich]

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith "A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!"

Not that, amassing flowers,
Youth sighed "Which rose make ours,
Which lily leave and then as best recall?"
Not that, admiring stars,
It yearned "Nor Jove, nor Mars;
Mine be some figured flame which blends, transcends them all!"

Not for such hopes and fears
Annulling youth's brief years,
Do I remonstrate: folly wide the mark!
Rather I prize the doubt
Low kinds exist without,
Finished and finite clods, untroubled by a spark.

Poor vaunt of life indeed,
Were man but formed to feed
On joy, to solely seek and find and feast:
Such feasting ended, then
As sure an end to men;
Irks care the crop-full bird? Frets doubt the maw-crammed beast?

Rejoice we are allied
To That which doth provide
And not partake, effect and not receive!
A spark disturbs our clod;
Nearer we hold of God
Who gives, than of His tribes that take, I must believe.

Then, welcome each rebuff
That turns earth's smoothness rough,
Each sting that bids nor sit nor stand but go!
Be our joys three-parts pain!
Strive, and hold cheap the strain;
Learn, nor account the pang; dare, never grudge the throe!

For thence,--a paradox
Which comforts while it mocks,--
Shall life succeed in that it seems to fail:
What I aspired to be,
And was not, comforts me:
A brute I might have been, but would not sink in' the scale.

What is he but a brute
Whose flesh has soul to suit,
Whose spirit works lest arms and legs want play?
To man, propose this test--
Thy body at its best,
How far can that project thy soul on its lone way?

Yet gifts should prove their use:
I own the Past profuse
Of power each side, perfection every turn:
Eyes, ears took in their dole,
Brain treasured up the whole;
Should not the heart beat once "How good to live and learn?"

Not once beat "Praise be Thine!
I see the whole design,
I, who saw power, see now love perfect too:
Perfect I call Thy plan:
Thanks that I was a man!
Maker, remake, complete,--I trust what Thou shalt do!"

For pleasant is this flesh;
Our soul, in its rose-mesh
Pulled ever to the earth, still yearns for rest;
Would we some prize might hold
To match those manifold
Possessions of the brute,--gain most, as we did best!

Let us not always say,
"Spite of this flesh to-day
I strove, made head, gained ground upon the whole!"
As the bird wings and sings,
Let us cry "All good things
Are ours, nor soul helps flesh more, now, than flesh helps soul!"

Therefore I summon age
To grant youth's heritage,
Life's struggle having so far reached its term:
Thence shall I pass, approved
A man, for aye removed
From the developed brute; a god though in the germ.

And I shall thereupon
Take rest, ere I be gone
Once more on my adventure brave and new:
Fearless and un-perplexed,
When I wage battle next,
What weapons to select, what armour to indue.

Youth ended, I shall try
My gain or loss thereby;
Leave the fire ashes, what survives is gold:
And I shall weigh the same,
Give life its praise or blame:
Young, all lay in dispute; I shall know, being old.

For note, when evening shuts,
A certain moment cuts
The deed off, calls the glory from the grey:
A whisper from the west
Shoots--"Add this to the rest,
Take it and try its worth: here dies another day."

So, still within this life,
Though lifted o'er its strife,
Let me discern, compare, pronounce at last,
This rage was right in' the main,
That acquiescence vain:
The Future I may face now I have proved the Past."

For more is not reserved
To man, with soul just nerved
To act to-morrow what he learns to-day:
Here, work enough to watch
The Master work, and catch
Hints of the proper craft, tricks of the tool's true play.

As it was better, youth
Should strive, through acts uncouth,
Toward making, than repose on aught found made:
So, better, age, exempt
From strife, should know, than tempt
Further. Thou waitedst age: wait death nor be afraid!

Enough now, if the Right
And Good and Infinite
Be named here, as thou callest thy hand thine own
With knowledge absolute,
Subject to no dispute
From fools that crowded youth, nor let thee feel alone.

Be there, for once and all,
Severed great minds from small,
Announced to each his station in the Past!
Was I, the world arraigned,
Were they, my soul disdained,
Right? Let age speak the truth and give us peace at last!

Now, who shall arbitrate?
Ten men love what I hate,
Shun what I follow, slight what I receive;
Ten, who in ears and eyes
Match me: we all surmise,
They this thing, and I that: whom shall my soul believe?

Not on the vulgar mass
Called "work," must sentence pass,
Things done, that took the eye and had the price;
O'er which, from level stand,
The low world laid its hand,
Found straightway to its mind, could value in a trice:

But all, the world's coarse thumb
And finger failed to plumb,
So passed in making up the main account;
All instincts immature,
All purposes unsure,
That weighed not as his work, yet swelled the man's amount:

Thoughts hardly to be packed
Into a narrow act,
Fancies that broke through language and escaped;
All I could never be,
All, men ignored in me,
This, I was worth to God, whose wheel the pitcher shaped.

Ay, note that Potter's wheel,
That metaphor! and feel
Why time spins fast, why passive lies our clay,--
Thou, to whom fools propound,
When the wine makes its round,
"Since life fleets, all is change; the Past gone, seize to-day!"

Fool! All that is, at all,
Lasts ever, past recall;
Earth changes, but thy soul and God stand sure:
What entered into thee,
That was, is, and shall be:
Time's wheel runs back or stops: Potter and clay endure.

He fixed thee mid this dance
Of plastic circumstance,
This Present, thou, forsooth, wouldst fain arrest:
Machinery just meant
To give thy soul its bent,
Try thee and turn thee forth, sufficiently impressed.

What though the earlier grooves,
Which ran the laughing loves
Around thy base, no longer pause and press?
What though, about thy rim,
Skull-things in order grim
Grow out, in graver mood, obey the sterner stress?

Look not thou down but up!
To uses of a cup,
The festal board, lamp's flash and trumpet's peal,
The new wine's foaming flow,
The Master's lips a-glow!
Thou, heaven's consummate cup, what need'st thou with earth's wheel?

But I need, now as then,
Thee, God, who mouldest men;
And since, not even while the whirl was worst,
Did I,--to the wheel of life
With shapes and colours rife,
Bound dizzily,--mistake my end, to slake Thy thirst:

So, take and use Thy work:
Amend what flaws may lurk,
What strain o' the stuff, what warpings past the aim!
My times be in Thy hand!
Perfect the cup as planned!
Let age approve of youth, and death complete the same!


-- Robert Browning (1812-1889)

 

[MissMittens]

 

[chanteuseCarey]

That's ME! I have said to many, I never thought I was interesting to myself until I was thirty.

I'm now fifty-four and I'm amazing.

A woman should have curves, a figure, and some life experience behind her After all, a girl doesn't become a woman until she's grown up.

 

[chanteuseCarey]

to Yeps, amen brother.

My bf Tom weighs at 56 what he was at when he got out of boot camp at 18. He social ballroom dances, (we just started teaching together) and has done karate since he was 14 yo. He does a one hour karate workout with a partner twice a week. We dance at least twice a week for a couple of hours at a time. He's always working on the house and the garden when not at work, and his entire working career he has had physical jobs.

btw, I love his gray hair, and the wrinkles at his eyes- especially when he smiles at me

His two brothers and a step brother a few years older are all at least 100 pounds overweight and have a myriad of health problems.

Nope. The main requirement is continued activity and physical fitness. Gray hair and wrinkles, on the other hand...