A nice way to finish my day.

[GOK]

Elaina, I hope your knees are feeling better today. Your little man sounds like a real treasure - you must be very proud of him. I am stunned at the seemingly neurotic attitude of that female. What on earth was she thinking? To be nasty to someone that's trying to help is bad enough but to say something like that? Sounds to me as though she has more than a few issues that need resolving. I am so glad the old gentleman helped your son and offered him such wise words - at least the ideas you have given him were reaffirmed in his young mind.

you know, son, some women don't appreciate a good man. Let it be a lesson that a pretty package sometimes hides a real ugly person, but being a good man will always pay off.

How true. I've seen this so often; in fact it shows no sign of decreasing. I see woman all the time being nasty to their partners in public - goodness only knows what they are like in private. Of course, I've seen men be horrid too but I must admit, they do seem to be in the minority. Men, I have found, generally get less perturbed by everyday life, whereas women seem to easily get niggled by the slightest thing, and react accordingly. Obviously that is a huge and sweeping generalisation!

CanadaDoll, the thing that disturbs me is that you said are used to it the kind of ill manners you related here. I find that shocking. Nobody should have to get used to that kind of thing. Maybe you should start a 'bring back courtesy' campaign?!!

Well I think part of it is that equal opportunity thing. Why open a door for a lady, shes my equal, she can do it herself. Thus, not many guys have been taught to distinguish that from just being a gentlemen. I think there seems to be some stigma to it.

Then there are some girls who will bark at a fella for opening the door for them.

Guys seem to have it bad on a lot of ends. I say just grin and take the bullets fellas. There are a lot of ladies who love it

LD

I agree. Equality is all well and good but when the previously oppressed become the oppressors then it is still not equality. A woman that berates a man for opening a door for her is as bad IMO as a man that allows it to swing shut in her face. Likewise, a woman that views any act of decency on a man's part as a prelude to a 'chat up'. Personally, I am more than capable of politely and gently telling a man I am not interested in anything amorous, so why should I be rude to him or be offended that he has offered me his seat or held a door open for me? Of course, this is assuming he does have amorous intentions - he could simply be gallant! Monday night at the Boisdale was an excellent example of men being gentlemen with no hidden agenda. Wonderful!

Common decency and courtesy should have nothing to do with gender....although it must be admitted that when a man behaves like a gentleman toward me, it makes it so much easier for me to be a lady!

 

[Lancealot]

Before I could open my mouth to say a word, the older man reached down, helped my son to rights and said "you know, son, some women don't appreciate a good man. Let it be a lesson that a pretty package sometimes hides a real ugly person, but being a good man will always pay off." He nodded to me and went about his way, and I figured, okay I'll let it drop. Lady was in and out at that time anyway.

Sounds like one of the pearls of wisdom my grandfather has passed to me through the years.

 

[Samsa]

It is indeed appalling that what used to be considered basic manners seems to have gone by the wayside. Unfortunately, there are those women who discourage such niceties. There have been times when I've held the door open for women and received a rude comment in return, as though I had insulted them. I usually just smile, bid them a good day and move on.

Thankfully I have never had this happen. I have gotten the sense, however, that some women simply do not like having the door held open for them. I sometimes get what I think are dirty looks just for opening a door.

 

[MikeBravo]

a true Gentleman

Here is my take on what makes a "True Gentleman"


'The True Gentleman will open a door for all and sundry, regardless of gender, ethnicity or appearance;

'If a True Gentleman is abused or receives a negative reaction, he merely smiles and goes on his way;

'For a True Gentleman behaves the way he does, not for instant gratification, but for the knowledge that he is making the world a better place;

'The positive effects that flow on from a True Gentleman's behaviour far outweigh the negative ones;

'If a person reacts positively, the positive behaviour may well continue to affect others in a good way;

'If a person reacts negatively, they were probably in a negative frame of mind to begin with; the True Gentleman's positive attitude may well change their mood and improve their lives, even if in a small way'


Nobody said it was easy to be a True Gentleman, but it seems that the Lounge has more than it's fair share of them.

Keep up the good work, Fellas :eusa_clap

 

[CanadaDoll]

CanadaDoll, the thing that disturbs me is that you said are used to it the kind of ill manners you related here. I find that shocking. Nobody should have to get used to that kind of thing. Maybe you should start a 'bring back courtesy' campaign?!!

It's a college campus, so I deal with the people who are between high school and University, trying to figure out what they want, the majority also seem to be between adolesence and adult hood when it comes to manners, I guess classes can frazzle people to the point where they forget their manners[huh]

I try to encourage courtesy when I get it, I smile and thank the person who holds a door for me, or let me step ahead first etc, and I always make sure to hold the doors when I'm able.
I guess it's a campaign that has to be personal before it can become large scale, but wouldn't it be cute to have an Etiquette Club on campus?lol

 

[CanadaDoll]

The best thing about CanadaDolls story is not that the busdriver showed some sense and humanity. The best thing is, that CanadaDoll made an effort to say thank you and called the buscompany.
Normaly we only call or write to complain. (nag.nag.nag. )
Giving a man or a company credit is very seldom. Too seldom as a matter of fact.
So CanadaDoll: MY RESPECT!!!

That's very nice of you Spitfire, but I didn't do anything special.

 

[beaucaillou]

I'm so glad to read this thread about manners. Often I feel like one of the last people on earth who was taught basic respect. This thread makes me feel heartened.

Elaina, that's a shocking story and I'm sorry that happened to you. Good for that kind man to speak to your son.

I know that it can be difficult to be a gentleman in this day, but as is being echoed in earlier responses, the important thing is to encounter the world the way we wish it were, to show it how it might be. Some days it is much harder than others, and some people make it sooo trying, but it's always worth while.

Here's hoping I encounter some of you and that the manners my family taught me aren't entirely wasted...

 

[koopkooper]

Sorry, but I think it works both ways, I've had some women act very rudely towards me, I guess the differance is that I WILL say something.
Infact after struggling through a shop door with a pram recently I had a few words with the shop assistant who simply stood there and watched as I battled with the door and the pram while it kept slamming on me, I don't think after my stern words she will ever do that again.

I've had women step on my feet on trains and not even say sorry, doors slammed in my face going into building, I don't think it is either men or women, it's society in general.

 

[beaucaillou]

i totally agree Koop. i think as time goes on people will continue to stratify themselves by manners alone.

 

[rockyj]

Many of us were taught well by our folks. sometimes we forget, but for the most part we are virtus. (It's Latin.)" The sum of the excellent qualities of men." Hey, what can I say I work at a High School"

 

[Pilotguy299]

Here is my take on what makes a "True Gentleman"


'The True Gentleman will open a door for all and sundry, regardless of gender, ethnicity or appearance;

'If a True Gentleman is abused or receives a negative reaction, he merely smiles and goes on his way;

'For a True Gentleman behaves the way he does, not for instant gratification, but for the knowledge that he is making the world a better place;

'The positive effects that flow on from a True Gentleman's behaviour far outweigh the negative ones;

'If a person reacts positively, the positive behaviour may well continue to affect others in a good way;

'If a person reacts negatively, they were probably in a negative frame of mind to begin with; the True Gentleman's positive attitude may well change their mood and improve their lives, even if in a small way'


Nobody said it was easy to be a True Gentleman, but it seems that the Lounge has more than it's fair share of them.

Keep up the good work, Fellas :eusa_clap

Here here, well stated!

I try to go out of my way to hold doors open for everyone. Sometimes it means going through last and sometimes first. I've been lucky in that no one has ever barked at me for holding the door open for them. It is disappointing sometimes when people wont even look you in the eye, let alone say thank you. Sometimes it's because they are too busy talking on the cell phone, but even worse is when they aren't doing anything else. Just a simple smile would be appreciated.

Another sad thing I'm seeing more of is people who will try to enter an elevator or train before people have had the opportunity to get out. I always stand to the side and if close enough to the door try to put my hand over the door to keep it open, but there are more and more people who will just blindly walk on first without giving you a chance to walk off.

Unfortunately, it seems that having simple manners is becoming the exception instead of the rule.