The Era -- Day By Day

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Ellsworth Wisecarver 14, claims ''Elaine (21 with two children) is my first love.''
-this just cannot be made up.
And our cockney lass with four newly born quads to a married GI on his divorce issue.
She asks Bill's Irish Catholic wife for her divorce consent so ''to give us a chance.''
All pre-invasion. ''Bill may never go back to the United States.'' Righto pipin, Bill may take up permanent European residence in military cemetery honoured rest.
--just cannot be made up.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("T' Kentucky Doiby," sneers Sally. "Hawrse racin' is stupid. Awlem boobs t'rowin'eh money away, an'nezza wawr on. I ask ya!" "Terrible," nods Alice. "I'm glad Siddy don' go inf'non'a t'at. He useta, but we hadda tawk one night an' he come aroun'ta my way a t'inkin'." "S'funny," muses Sally. "When I dropped off Leonoreh at t'stoeh t'is mawrnin', t'eh was awlese charactehs runnin' in an' out, handin' stuff t' Ma, t'at Hops Gaffney was runnin' awlaroun' writin' stuff down, an' goin' in an' outta t' back room t'eh. Butcha know, none'v'm seemta be buyin' nut'n. I dunno how she can make a livin', awlem freeloadehs 'n bums hangin' aroun'." "Yeh," nods Alice, suppressing an eyeroll. "Anya know what else?" continues Sally. "T'eh was awlese people goin' in an' outta t'at back room t'eh. Y'know, when I was lit'l, Ma neveh let me go inneh. Said she didn' wan' me gett'n inta t'ings, makin' a mess, gett'n in trouble. Butcha know what I done? One time when I was, I dunno, 'leven awr twelve, I peeked inna keyhole when she wasn' lookin', an' I see Uncle Frank inneh sitt'n 'rouna big table wit' a buncha ot'eh guys. But Ma catches me, yanks on my haieh an' tells me t'keep my nose outta t'ings t'at ain' my business. Sez t'me, it's t' Eas' Flatbush Businessmen's Political Association an'neh havin' a cawnfr'ence. An' I says, 'funny kinda confrence, looked t'me like t'ey was playin' cawrds.' An' she says 'no, t'eh jus' goin' oveh business reckids.' An' I says 'well how come Uncle Frank gotta business reckid stuck inna cuff of his pants?' An'nat's when she smacked me." "Businessmen got t'eh own met'ods of account'n," sighs Alice. "You ain't kidd'n," nods Sally, rubbing her cheek in memory of the lesson.)

The New York City Federation of Women's Clubs today joined the opposition to the proposed opening of a hostel on Clinton Street for Japanese-American workers relocated to Brooklyn from evacuation camps in the west. Meeting for its 124th Annual Convention at the Astor Hotel yesterday, the organization voted a unanimous resolution condemning the plan, denouncing the housing of the evacuees in an area adjacent to the waterfront. Other resolutions voted by the conference denounced the Government takeover of Montgomery Ward & Company and the unseating of its chairman Sewell Avery, and expressed opposition to Mayor LaGuardia's proposal for "socialized medicine" in New York City.

(Cheer up, kid -- YOU know she's the best dog.)

Administration leaders in the House today expressed belief that an impartial investigation will uphold the decision to seize Montgomery Ward & Company. By an overwhelming vote of 300 to 60 the House yesterday voted to authorize a formal investigation of the broad issues relating to the seizure, following last week's vote by the Senate authorizing a similar probe by the Senate Judicial Committee.

("Have you, madam, considered goldfish?")

(Here's hoping.)

(Hey Leo, maybe the Bushwicks can spare a few infielders. And once again, how bout those Major League Leading St. Louis Browns?)

Latest member of the Dodger youth brigade is 19-year-old pitcher Calvin Coolidge McLish. Asked if he was a Republican or a Democrat, the hurler made like his silent namesake and shrugged "I don't know."

Leo Durocher has paid his $100 fine for folding his arms at umpre Tom Dunn at the Polo Grounds last Sunday. Lippy was so furious about the fine that he threatened league president Ford Frick that he would pay it in pennies. But after further discussion, Leo agreed to write a check, putting an end, for the moment, to the issue.

(Oh yeah? Well, hon, get wise to yourself. Ankles don't stay slim forever.)

(Oh, Mrs. Dardnanella. Hanging around jails, are we?)

(Yeah, Jane, that's why you aren't the theatre critic.)

(He knows "IT's" value. So does Elinor Glyn.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG never knowingly violates the Code of the Canines.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"The kind every girl wants to have."

"Well, at least they've stopped bothering ME." -- G. R. Lee.

Station B-U-R-M-A is on the air!

You know what, Wilmer? France is nice this time of year.

Lil's ma orchestrated the whole thing.

Slow news day.

And you call yourself a Junior Commando.

"Hey, beats raking blueberries."

Drowned -- 1-1. Hypothermia -- 20-1 . Eaten by seals -- 100-1.

And that's why you should always hold onto the railing.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh and,

You're not fooling anybody, Roy. We know you really listen to Skelton.

 

[Fading Fast]

I read "Lady Chatterly's Lover" in college and remember the "obscene" parts were the boring parts with very stilted writing. But that was three-plus decades ago.

"dates"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Wisecarver is toppers again today but Sgt Mulligan gets served warrant after his marriage
during the reception for fathering another woman's child. A para, of course.

Lady Chatterley's ban by the New York Suppression of Vice.
-you just cannot make this stuff up-

 

[LizzieMaine]

("They're very impressed with Leonora at the clinic," observes Dr. Minkoff, looking over a typed report. "T'ey oughta be," declares Sally. "She's whatchacawl impressive." "Yes," nods Dr. Minkoff. "They also mention here that she's a very assertive child. She seems to decide right away what she wants to do, and if an attempt is made to lead her in another direction, she seems to actively resist. Have you observed that with her?" "Nah," replies Sally. "Well, 'cept wit'teh cousin Willie. An' maybe Ma sometimes. An' Joe said sump'n about it oncea'twice. An'nem people at't'at noissery t'eh out t' Weste'n Electric. But me, I mean, ain'nat how ya WANT a kid t'be? Ma useta say t'at's how *I* was, she'd say 'I don'wan'cha stan'in'onna corneh handin' out t'em Sacco an' Vanzetti papehs. People gonna tawk.' But I kept right awn wit'it 'til she sent Uncle Frank down t'get me. He comedown'eh, an' I kicked 'im inna shin, so 'e lef' me alone afteh t'at. Ma come down 'ehself, nex' time, an' she come at me fr'm b'hind, so I, you know, couldn' get in a good kick." "Ah," replies Dr. Minkoff. "Your mother. You know, it might help me understand the -- ah -- dynamics of your family if you'd -- well, how do you and your mother get along? I mean she seems -- ah -- from what you've told me, of course -- that she has a rather strong personality herself." "Eh," ehs Sally. "Ma didn't tawk t'me much growin' up, 'cepta tell me what she didn' wawnt me t'do. Don' go inna back room, don' run aroun'a streets, don' tawk t'no cawps, don' go out wit' boys, don' speak lessya spoken to, you know, awlat stuff. Some times I'd mind 'eh, sometimes I didn', you know, like any kid." "How about your father," continues Dr. Minkoff. "What was he like?" "He smelled," recalls Sally. "T'at's awl I remembeh 'bout 'im, I mean, I ain' seen'im since I was foeh yeehs ol'. He'd come home at night an'nee smelled. Not a good smell, not like Joe useta smell when he'd come home fr'm t' pickle woiks, I liked t'at smell. Moehr'va doity medicine smell, y'know? I didn'wawn'im t'pick me up, so I'd, y'know, I'd holleh an' kick. I t'ink I mighta bit 'im a coupla times inneh too." "Ah," nods Dr. Minkoff. "It does say here on the report that, on her first day at the clinic, another child tried to take away the book Leonora was looking at and she kicked him." "Huh," chuckles Sally. "Guess he won' try t'at again, huh?" "Ah," replies Dr. Minkoff, scrawling furiously in his notebook.)

Speedy Senate passage of the House-approved tax simplification bill was predicted today by Chairman Walter F. George (D-Georgia) of the Senate Finance Committee. Barring lengthy testimony by church and charitable organizations who oppose the bill on the grounds that an automatic 10 percent deduction on all income up to $5000 per year may reduce donations, Sen. George anticipated that nothing but the regular committee examination is likely to delay the bill. The measure was passed 358 to 0 yesterday in the House. George noted that the practical effect of the bill is that it will release an estimated 30,000,000 taxpayers from the obligation of filing a return. He did acknowledge that single persons and families without dependents may be hit somewhat harder under the plan.

Draft quotas for the next four months can be filled entirely by tapping available men under the age of 26. Selective Service director Gen. Lewis B. Hershey noted yesterday that there are at present approximately 1,700,000 men under the age of 26 still available for the draft, and suggested that it is unlikely any large number of men over the age of 26 will be required to meet military manpower requirements during 1944.

Mohandas K. Gandhi flashed a toothless grin today as he was released from 21 months political imprisonment at the Aga Khan's palace in Koona. The Indian nationalist leader was said to be suffering from physical and mental exhaustion as he left the palace shortly after 8 am, and was taken to the home of his friend Lady Pramilly Thackersy. It was understood that Gandhi, whose release was ordered by British authorities due to his health, will be returned to his followers in Bombay on Monday.

("Two of the less profitable franchises will be shipped to the West Coast." Well, as long as you leave the profitable ones alone.)

("Glamour boy?" Well now, I wouldn't say that.)

Etta Moten, church singer turned blues star, will sing the role of Bess when George Gershwin's famous folk opera "Porgy and Bess" opens on Tuesday at the Flatbush Theatre. Miss Moten, whose voice ranges from a deep alto all the way down into the realms of the baritone, studied classical singing at Western University in Kansas, under D. M. Swarthout, a cousin of opera star Gladys Swarthout. She was the choice of Gershwin himself when the original run of the opera was being cast, but was unavailable for the role due to other committments, but she has since made the role famous in productions from coast to coast.

(One...two...three....BOOM!)

(But Elmer NEVER wins!!!)

(Yeah, but those were electoral college votes. Big deal.)

("Haven't changed much, have they?" HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?)

(Ain't science wonderful?)

(And Gen. Knudson wonders why he never gets invited to any parties.)

(Later this year, we will see the debut of a real magazine called "Pageant," a downmarket version of the Reader's Digest, clearly founded by a reader of "Mary Worth.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

("Naked as a peeled wand.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

The peeled wands look different on the West Coast.

Coming events....

Careful now, don't get raided!

Bismuth cures indigestion but it causes constipation -- which under the circumstances, I guess, is something for which he should be thankful.

Shadow needs to start reading Elizabeth Hawes.

Hmph, Davega Punjab. GIVE US THE REAL THING! And jeez, Mosely --- if you need to use four panels just to catch us up on all the plots, maybe you need to simplify a bit.

Who says the comics aren't educational? And gee Mr. Ladd, is it true you film most of your love scenes standing on a box?

Yeah, those floating decimals will get you every time.

SANDY??? IS THAT YOU??? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOUR EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT?

That poor little dancer...

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

James Stewart was a real hero. Capable, courage, taciturn modesty.

Now Burms and Terrence are set along a rendezvous with destiny. More and more I equate these two with an American western like Wanted Dead or Alive. Not Big Valley or Cheyenne.
Wagon Train. That's it! They never arrive but just keep Wagon Training.

 

[PrivateEye]

Tuesday is always a let down for breaking up the storylines in the comics.

Thank god for TATP.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The difficult thing with Sunday continuity comics is that, because the Sunday color sections are printed weeks ahead of the rest of the paper, the strips have to be drawn several weeks ahead of the daily strips -- so to continue the storyline thru Sunday, the artist has to figure out the storyline well ahead. As we saw last year when the syndicate kiboshed the ration-board plot in "Annie", this makes it very difficult to change anything once you've set the story in motion, so most artists prefer to play it safe and do one-and-done gags on Sunday, like Gasoline Alley or Harold Teen, or run entirely separate storylines, like "Scarlet O'Neill" and "The Gumps." That Caniff's Sunday strips don't read like they were written six weeks ahead of the rest of the story is testimony to his skill.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Ms Elizabeth your comic/newsprint/Era tutorials are always appreciated.

Gloria Grahame, screen goddess sweater femme fatale who bedded her fourteen-year old
stepson is the perfect model for Burma. Movie Stars Don't Die in Liverpool with Annette Bening
is ''the flick to read.'' FLASH---Ms Bening could also do a more than adequate Burms,
now that I mention it. I'm thinking The Grifters.
Mr Caniff does seem ahead of the curve still there needs be more please and less tease.